oo9. Oddly Attracted
Pandromeda Reviews [BUSY! HIRING AGAIN - COME HELP ME]Username: lexxxi16
Story Title (&link): Oddly Attracted
Main Characters (+pairings): Park Jihoon + Seo Ryujin (OC)
Genre(s): Romance / Fluff, School Life
Current Length (No. of Chapters): 13
Rated?: No
Reviewer: KissDromedaGirl
_______________ ✦일번; part one; the beginning. ✦_______________
Title; 5/5
It relates and if it aims towards an odd attraction from either main chara, your build up really shows how it will be an odd attraction.
Poster/Background; 4.5/5
It's cute. And whimsical, so that totally fits the story. Although, Jihoon's chara vs. the picture doesn't fit now.
Description & Foreword; 4/10
"sarcastic jerk of a jerk" Is kind of strange. But then you follow with "she's a mess of a mess" and I mean, that equals it out but... what-? You use those words a bit much, so it looks like you need to use a thesaurus? Even if this is supposed to be cliche, those two little parts stick out.
_______________ ✦이번; the second part; the seam.✦_______________
Creativity/Originality; 5/5
You really have a whimsical mind. Most of what you wrote is entertaining and fresh and even the most cliche markers fit really well. You add seemingly normal scenes and make them dramatic and funny, mainly due to Ryujin's character.
Plot; 15/20
You said you really haven't gotten to the main plot yet, so I'm interested in that. Otherwise, the relations between the main charas is very sibling-like and interesting. I like the little sublots mixed in, too; Bae Jinyoung, Soyeon and her Squad, Heejin's role, and so on. I can't really judge further though.
Spelling, Vocab, and Grammar; 8/15
You bounce from tenses. It looks like you're aiming for present tense, but you add in the past tenses as well.
I've made this.
You are already putting your foot in the door with descriptions; meaning, you're doing well, but you're still not fully there. You can go from describing things so well to barely grazing the surface. I enjoy the points you make when scenes get dramatic, because it works. But I'd suggest a few things:
Grammarly. Thesaurus.
Those will help tremendously. Because aside from your grammar mistakes an
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