I was dreaming of him again.  This time he seemed so real.  I turned over and promptly banged my knee on wood.  I looked around and was greeted with darkness.  

“Hell not again.  Why do I keep crawling inside this damn box?” I muttered to myself.  I pushed the lid and hit Jongdae on the chin with it.

“Oh my God! You’re bleeding!” I worried about him immediately.  Even if he is an illusion, i couldn’t help myself.

“Sophie?” He asked fearfully. Hopefully. Tentatively.

“Yeah?” I was distracted dabbing out the blood on his chin. I was using the bottom of my cotton shirt, uncaring if it's bloody.  Jongdae grabbed me with both hands and yanked me down to sit on his lap. He was embracing me tightly I couldn’t breathe.  Why does this dream feel so real?

“Please don’t leave again. Please. Please!” Jongdae begged with desperation in his voice.

“I don't want to.  But I don't have any idea how I got here in the first place.”  I sighed and leaned my head on his shoulder.  Why is it every single time I am with him, I feel like I came home after a long exhausting day?

“I don't even know how I left!” I muttered into his chest. Jongdae was so happy to see her he was not about to let go. 

“I kept seeing you everywhere.  I thought I was going crazy.” Jongdae pressed a soft kiss on my head.

“You too?” I said in a muffled voice.  I was burying my nose in his chest, memorizing his scent, his feel, his touch.  “I kept hearing you call me when I was working in New York, and seeing you when I returned to California.  I missed you more than I can tell.”

“New York? California?” He seemed taken aback by something.  His muscles tensed beneath my touch, his arms tightening around me even more.  

“When?” Jongdae asked.  I told him the dates I was working on both places.  He squeezed his eyes shut.

“I was there on those dates.  I did see you and called out for you in New York.  I did get in that elevator and came back down right away looking for you.  I was right.  It was you.” He said in wonder.

“Oppa.  I don't want to close my eyes.  The last time I did, I lost you.” I was tired and yawning.

‘Neither do I.” He mumbled into my hair.  I still hadn’t moved off his lap.  He was still clutching at me like i’m going to fly away any minute.  He hurriedly picked me up and stood up,  he slid me under blankets on his bed.  When he was sure I was sufficiently covered.  He quietly closed the lid on the chest and turned off the lights to the room.  He padded back silently to my side. I threw off the blankets and welcomed him with open arms. 

He sunk into my embrace and dotted my face with kisses before finally capturing my lips for a kiss.  I probably should not be doing this.  But I would be hypocrite if I say I don't want this.  That I don’t want him.  We were together for five hours the last time we were together.  And I thought I was going to die from missing him.

He nudged my lips open with his mouth and kissed me deeply.  His tongue snuck inside, flicking in short quick , driving me wild.  He shifted in bed, his forearms taking off the weight of his torso away from me.  I didn’t mind, but I knew he did. He was considerate even when making love.  

I was busy pulling off his shirt from his head.  It barely gave him pause when I was trying move it away from his head. He just went right back to kissing me.  I managed to tug his blanket back over us.  I so badly want to make love to him but he was obviously physically exhausted. I urged him to lie down instead and I cuddled up to him.  We couldn't stop touching each other in small ways. I kept giving him small butterfly kisses. He wrapped his arms around me and refused to let go. I saw his eyes drooping.

“I probably shouldn't, but I think I love you.” I whispered as I kissed his cheek once again.  He must have heard me because his arms tightened around me briefly before the need to sleep finally won.  I waited a while, just watching him breathe.  I slowly got up, careful not to disturb him.  I found his phone.  It was locked so I didn't know how to put in my number.  I wrote it a sticky pad and warned him that if he doesn't call me if I disappear, I am never coming back.

I saw the sun rising and drew the curtains so he can continue to sleep.  I saw the streets of Seoul turn off the lights.  I squeezed my eyes shut convinced I am going back any minute.  Instead I fell asleep.  And when I woke up, I was back in Jongdae’s arms in his bed and he was grinning like an idiot.

“Good morning or rather good afternoon, my love!” He kissed the tip of my nose.  “Why did you leave the bed?  I nearly had a heart attack when I woke up earlier and you were not in here with me.  Instead I found you sleeping on the floor. Huh?”

“I got up to leave my number on your phone but it's locked, so I wrote it down.” I mumbled desperately covering my mouth.  I'm sure I have morning breath.

“Why? Are you covering your face? It's too late to be shy with me, isn't it?” He was teasing and playful now that he is happy.  He was tickling me under the covers and I was fighting a losing battle with my giggles.  

“No, no,no, stop! Dae-dae! I have morning breath. I need to use the bathroom.”  I giggled once more.   He seemed to have found all my ticklish spots.  

“Okay. I have a spare toothbrush under the sink.  I’ll stand guard outside and put in your phone number on my phone. Hmm?” He grinned back.  In short order, he helped get me up and sneak into the bathroom.  He closed the door and I can hear him humming outside. I started brushing my teeth and washing my face.  I was going to step into the shower when I remembered that I didn't have any clothes with me except the pajamas I am currently wearing.  I didn't even have any slippers or shoes.

“Dae? I don't have any clothes.” I called out to him through the door.

“Ummmm, okay?  Was that an invitation?” He asked half amused, half aroused. 

“No! I meant what do I do?  I can't be in pajamas all day.” I answered as I opened the door.  I was startled out of my wits when instead of Jongdae I came face to face with cat-eyed man.

“Anneyonghaseyo!  I'm Xiumin.  Did you sneak in the dorms again?” He asked curiously without any judgement in his eyes.  In fact he seemed rather amused.  Jongdae was pushing his hand away but Xiumin was holding him away.

“I heard you don't have clothes.  My sister just bought some clothes and shoes and left it in my car last week.  I have it in my room.  You can have those for now.” He smiled helpfully.  I couldn't help but smile back at him. Jongdae glared at him and tugged me to his side.

“Thanks, hyung. I will pay you back for the clothes.”  He replied gratefully. Xiumin shook his head in amusement. 

“It's okay.  I'll just buy my sister more clothes.  Now can the two of you leave so I can shower?” He laughed at us.

Jongdae led me back to his room. He left to grab the bag of clothes from Xiumin’s room.  He also brought back a pair of slippers. I laughingly pushed him out of the door.  Luckily I showered before I put on my pajamas last night.  I got changed as fast as I could, reluctant to be away for so long from him.  I opened the door and he immediately grabbed my hand.  He led me to the kitchen where he found some bread to toast and some coffee for us.

Jongdae and I couldn’t real take our eyes off each other.  We sat close on the stools set up at the breakfast nook.  I had my hands wrapped around a warm mug of coffee but de had his arms wrapped around me.  Normally, I would be pushing away whoever was tryin to hug me since I hate the feeling of being enclosed.  But I just sat there quietly, happy for now that we are together.  I can’t figure out how I kept ending up in his arms, how he seems to be a magnet that keeps drawing me to him.  

I don’t believe in love at first sight.  But being with Jongdae makes me happy.  Without him I am miserable and empty.  Is this Love?  What do we do now?  And how the heck do I keep coming back here?

Jongdae shifted in his seat and lifted me over so that I was literally on his lap and in his arms.  I should probably protest but instead I just sighed and leaned my head on his shoulder.  I was frowning I know it and feel it.

“Stop frowning.  We’re together.  You should be happy.  Aren’t you happy when you are with me?” Jongdae asked while nuzzling his nose behind my ear.  He knows I’m ticklish on that spot.

“I am happy with you.  Too happy.  It makes me scared that if I close my eyes this will all be just a dream.” I mumbled under my breath, fiddling with his shirt. He tightened his arms around me and was about to reply but Jongin walked in half-asleep, hair standing upon one side wearing only his pajama bottoms.  He was yawning as he reach for a drink inside the fridge.  He suddenly stiffened, whipped around, and looked bug-eyed at me and Jongdae.  Dae looked back at him with a deadpan facial expression.

“Hyung! Stop sneaking in your girlfriend in the dorms!” Jongin/Kai squealed in protest and grab the dish towel.  He hurriedly used it to cover his chest. I smiled and wiggled my fingers at him to say hello.  He smiled awkwardly and gave me a bow of greeting before running out.  

“Did he think the dish towel can hide how adorably cute and y he is?” I laughed.

“Yah!” Jongdae protested and held me away a couple of inches from his chest to glare at me.

“What?” I was puzzled.

“You’re not supposed to notice another man when you are in my arms!” He pouted.

“I’m in love with you, not dead.” I smiled at him and kissed him full-on the lips.  Jongdae smiled and took over the kiss, slipping in his tongue and suddenly setting my world on fire.  Enter another er in the form of Sehun.

“Hyung! If the two of you are just going to make out could you move into one of the rooms and keep it private.  I’m too young for this and I would like to eat at that table for a few more years.”  The little brat calmly peeled off a banana and ate it while sitting calmly across from us.  Jongdae nearly threw me off his lap in his haste to smack Sehun.  I was left laughing hysterically on the seat while Jongdae did his best to smack down Sehun.

Suho walked in and got a mug of coffee before seating himself where Jongdae was sitting.  He shook his head at the two who are playfully smacking each other.  He leaned over and whispered to me, “Welcome back.  Thank you for making our Chen smile again.”

I inclined my head at him in acknowledgement.  Jongdae the little jealous twit picked me up and sat down with me on his lap again.

“What are you two whispering about?” He asked nosily.  

“I was just welcoming her back.  But seriously, stop sneaking in.  Jongdae, you are an adult.  If there are things you guys must do.  Please, do it somewhere else.” Suho calmly advised before standing up and grabbing a water bottle.  It seems he is heading out to the gym.

“Do what?” I asked.  Jongdae was turning red when I looked at him.  He also couldn’t seem to keep eye contact with me.

“You know. When you do the...” Sehun started dancing a body roll and smiling mischievously.

“What’s that?” I frowned at him not really understanding.  I thought I understood Hangul well enough but something seems to be lost in translation.

“He’s saying that if you guys are going to keep having make sure it’s not here at the dorms.” Chanyeol walked in and calmly replied before he grabbed the last slice of bread and popped it in the toaster.  Jongdae buried his face on my shoulder muttering unintelligibly.

“But we hadn’t!  He fell asleep on me last night before we could do it!” I protested.

Silence descended in the room and all eyes were looking at me.  Sehun was the first to burst out laughing.  Chanyeol was on the floor, beating it with his hand.  Suho was braced on the counter gasping and laughing.

“Kill. Me. Now!” Jongdae implored the heavens.  He sounded like something was strangling him.