Dear diary

It’s not that Soojung was untidy, but when it concerned her room, there was this laziness in her that made it difficult to clean. That day was no exception – mostly because her mother threatened to feed her to the dogs if she hadn’t gone through all the boxes by dinner.

Her mother wasn’t the type to joke.

So, in the morning, bandana keeping her hair out of her face, she began checking each box in her room and deciding what to throw, what to keep and what to move in the attic. Soojung’s only satisfaction was the sound of Jongin’s groans at breakfast, head lolling while avoiding their mother’s stare. She wouldn’t be the only one tortured on that torrid day.

Soft music played in the background and cleansed her thoughts. She got up to her feet while wiping another lost-and-found book of dust and placing it in her bookcase. Whispering an apology to Oscar Wilde, she sat back on the large pillow shielding her from the wooden floor. One sip from her water bottle, Soojung put aside the empty box until she decided if it had any other use and pulled the next in line between her legs.

Opening it, she examined each object inside, removing tthem one by one. A teddy bear she could not remember – probably a gift – went to the ever-growing pile of toys. Next, a pink dragon. She thought it should remind her of something but it did not. To the pile that one had gone too.

When only one item remained, Soojung was surprised to find a lavender diary with pink polka dots on the hardcover. She touched the side of the diary, spotting a lock that had long been broken.

Curious, the girl flipped it open and leaned against her bed frame.

On the first page, she wrote her nickname in cursive, ‘Krystal’, followed by her age, and several stickers filled up space. She gingerly turned the page and read the first entry, earning a giggle.

Dear diary,

Taemin and Jongin are gross. My brother ate Taemin’s booger on a dare right next to me. I gagged. I swear I’ll throw up at school one of these days, not because of fatigue, but due to these two idiots never knowing their limit.

That had been nothing new. She recorded the many games, dares and troubles her brother and his best friend experienced throughout the years, kind of like an unofficial archivist. Soojung still had no idea why – maybe she thought it would be funny to keep track of their many adventures, and then it became something more. Or, a habit she could not get rid of – she documented the boys’ last mischief just the other week. Soojung flipped several pages later, humming with the song.

Dear diary,

I broke up with my boyfriend.

Soojung clutched to the diary and bit down her lip. She had forgotten about that too. Soojung knew she hadn’t been as in love as she had thought back then, else, she would not have forgotten so easily.

I hadn’t told anyone. My parents really liked him and we hadn’t separated on bad terms. You know, he has to concentrate on his studies and all. Yet, I feel my chest tightening, heart and lungs acting against me and making me feel more miserable than I should be. Where would I ever find another guy like that?

Soojung snorted. If only her past self had known better and had not believed the world crashed. In fact, the world had been waiting to be explored.

My brother had been a jerk all morning too, not like I could blame him since I hadn’t informed him about the drama in my life either. Forget what the media tells you about twins being connected – there’s no such thing. That, or I happen to be cursed with the most oblivious twin brother there exists, who, if I had been whacked over the head and blood poured, believed I had dyed my hair.

Soojung giggled. Yes, that much hadn’t changed.

Oddly enough, while I was moping in the lunch hall, Taemin presented me with an ice cream and ate one too while watching me from the other side of the table. Reluctantly, I accepted his offering and imagined myself a queen…

Soojung shook her head. Always diverting from the subject with flowery descriptions. Her eyes scrolled down.

Taemin asked if I’m okay. I confessed I had the blues and he immediately prodded whether it related to my boyfriend. Then and there, while nibbling on the plastic spoon, I confessed.

Soojung’s eyes widen, familiar scenes rolling in her mind. She knew where her entries were heading. Quickly, she skipped some days to confirm her suspicions, her smile expanding.