Song for this chapter: All You Never Say - Birdy

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Maybe it’s because the weather has been good, or maybe because work isn’t so packed anymore. Or maybe, just maybe, it’s because of Junhoe.

Hanbin’s mood has been brighter the past week and Junhoe doesn’t know what it is, but everyone seems to be fascinated by Hanbin’s smile. Well, including him of course. Everyone in the cafe would turn to look at their direction every time they would hear Hanbin’s laugh because of some foolish joke he said. Even the staff in the cafe looks at Hanbin like they just saw a celebrity. To them, it feels refreshing to see their boss happy, he’s been good to them so far. So seeing him like this, they’re thankful for it.

As Junhoe promised, he was always with Hanbin. At first, Hanbin complained as Junhoe is always annoying or teasing him but after a few days, he got used to it. Junhoe is also always eating dinner with him and Jinhwan. He’s happy, if he’s going to be very honest, because having a very close friend by his side made him feel secured.

Hanbin is taking a shower, only Jinhwan and Junhoe are left in the kitchen. He’s helping Jinhwan wash the dishes.

“So…” Jinhwan says. “How is your stay here, so far?”

“Well, it’s good. I’m happy that I can take a break from work, you know, escaping stress once in awhile.” He says while drying the last plate with a cloth. “And of course, I get to look after Hanbin hyung.”

Jinhwan nods and sits in a chair by the table. “Do you like him?” He asks Junhoe.

He didn’t expect the question. He turns to look at Jinhwan. “Who?” Jinhwan smiles at him knowingly.

“Hanbin. Do you like him?” Junhoe doesn’t know what to say to him and just smiled awkwardly.

“Don’t worry, I won’t tell him. And besides, I can see it, so you can’t deny it to me.” Jinhwan points out making Junhoe blush. ‘Am i that obvious?’

Jinhwan laughs at him and gestured for him to sit down. He sits in front of Jinhwan.

“To be honest, hyung, I don’t know. I’m still confused. Maybe I really do like him. All I know right now is I want to look after him. I want to take care of him.” He sighs.

“Want to know a secret?” He says. Junhoe looks at him.

“If I can gain something from it, why not.”

He laughs at Junhoe and looks outside the window. “Hanbin….I like him too.”

He can feel Junhoe’s stare at him. “Did….did you confess to him?”

He shook his head and smiled sadly. “No. Even if I want to, I know I’m not someone he needs.”

“Hyung…” Junhoe mutters. Jinhwan smiled at him.

“I know, but don’t feel bad for me, Junhoe. It’s my decision not to confess to him anyway and even if I do, i’m not expecting anything in return. I’m just happy to be by his side, you know. I’m contented that I can make him laugh. I’m happy just to be a hyung he can lean on.”

“Hanbin….that kid is precious. He’s a fragile person that I’ve always wanted to protect, you know. Maybe that’s why i’ve always been so protective of him since I knew him two years ago. He has helped me a lot back then, when I have nowhere to go and he offered me the extra room in this apartment. I’ve seen all of it. You know, how he sometimes gets lost in his own world. You know what I mean.”

Junhoe nods. He knows what he’s talking about. Jinhwan looks at him and smiled.

“That’s why I’m thankful that you’re here. He has someone to look after him when i’m not by his side. He’s been smiling a lot lately, too. I really want to thank you for that.”

Junhoe smiles. “That’s honestly what all I want right now, hyung. To make him feel he’s not alone.” Jinhwan just nods at him.

They stayed silent for a moment when they heard Hanbin getting out of his room.

“Junhoe-ya! Let’s go!” Hanbin calls him. This, too, became a routine; Hanbin walking him back to his hotel.

Jinhwan pats his shoulder and stood up. “I hope this stays between us.”

He nods at him and stood up. “Coming!” he shouts to Hanbin.

“See you tomorrow, hyung.” He says to Jinhwan patting his shoulder.

“Yeah, yeah. Go on, he’s waiting for you.”

“Bye hyung!” He waves at him and rushes off to follow Hanbin to the door.

“Hyung! I’ll be back later!” Jinhwan hears Hanbin shout and they went out.

He just shook his head and smiles. ‘I’m such a fool.’

Junhoe is quiet the whole walk back to his hotel, which is very unusual. Hanbin felt weird and looks at Junhoe.

“Junhoe” He calls him but the latter seems to be lost in his world. He pats his shoulder and calls him again. “Junhoe-ya”

Junhoe was startled and turns to look at him. “Are you okay? You seem out of it since we came out of the apartment. Is there anything wrong?”

He shook his head and smiled. “Yeah, i’m okay. Nothing is wrong, i’m just dazing out, I guess. Hehe.”

Hanbin stares at him, frowning. He grins at Hanbin at poked his cheek. “It’s nothing, okay? I’m fine. Why don’t you come up with me? I have something for you.”

He grabs Hanbin’s wrist and drags him up to his hotel room.

**

Hanbin sits down on the chair and sighs. “What is it?”

He smirks at Hanbin and holds up something in his hand. Right after Hanbin saw what it is, he immediately stood up and walked near Junhoe snatching the two cups of instant ramyun from his hand.

“You bought ramyun for me?” Hanbin asks, eyes wide in surprise. He hasn’t had it for a long time and this made him feel excited.Junhoe smiles at him and takes back the ramyun.

“Yeah. So... you sit down and I’m going to prepare this. I already asked for a hot water.”

He chuckles when he saw Hanbin smiling widely at him. ‘Damn… maybe i really do like you.’

He’s watching Junhoe prepare the ramyun when he suddenly remembered something.

“Junhoe-ya” He calls him. Junhoe turns to look at him.

“Hmm? Just wait for a bit, it’s almost done.” Junhoe says and smiled at him.

“Have you already found an apartment? You’ve been staying here for a week now. It’s a bit expensive staying here for long, you know.”

Junhoe paused for a bit and sighs. “Well, i’ve already looked at some I found online, but they’re a bit far from your cafe and apartment.”

“But atleast you can save a bit. Hotels are expensive, you know that.”

Junhoe hands him a fork. He sits down on the bed infront of Hanbin while removing the lid of the cup noodles and handed it to him.

“Yeah, i know that. But, you know how lazy I am. I don’t like to sit in a bus for a long time. And besides, money is not a problem for me. So, don’t worry, okay?” he says and started to eat his own food.

“But still…” Hanbin says with his cheeks full while chewing his food. He doesn’t know what to say anymore.

Junhoe chuckles while looking at him and wipes his lips. “Damn. Are you a kid? Why are you so messy?”

Hanbin didn’t expect what just happened and started eating his food again. He hopes he’s not blushing by what Junhoe did. “Mind your own business. Jeez.”

Junhoe just laughed at him. They kept silent until they’ve finished all their food. Junhoe insisted on cleaning up and made Hanbin stay seated.

He waited for Junhoe to finish cleaning up. He sits again infront of Hanbin.

“Hyung..” Junhoe calls him. He turns to look at him.

“What?”

“Why don’t you sleep here tonight? It’s scary sleeping here alone.”  He asks, hoping Hanbin would agree.

Hanbin looks at him with a serious face. “And where will I sleep here, huh? On the floor?”

Junhoe smirks at him. “No, of course not. You can sleep here on the bed with me.”

Hanbin was flustered. There’s no way they would sleep in that one bed. “Ar...are you insane?! No way, bruh. I can’t sleep with another person in one bed. Before you know it, you’re already sleeping on the floor.” He says a little too fast and looks away when he sees Junhoe smiling widely.

Junhoe chuckles. “I told you i’m not insane. You can just say no if you don’t want to. But honestly hyung, you know I can’t sleep well alone in a room. Please hyung? Please?” He says while blinking his eyes continuously that makes Hanbin want to hit him.

He lets out a sigh. “I can’t. I have to open the cafe early tomorrow, you know. And I don’t have clothes to wear. I’m sorry.”

Junhoe’s smile fades and looks disappointed. Hanbin felt guilty because he knows he’s not lying about having trouble sleeping alone, but he has to work early.

They stayed silent for a moment before he stood up. “I’m going back now. It’s already late and I still need to walk home. I’ll see you tomorrow, okay?”

Junhoe only nods and went to see him off by the door. Hanbin looks at him and sighed again. He pats Junhoe’s cheek and smiles. “Hey, don’t make me feel guilty now. I would sleep here if it’s possible, but I have work. Maybe tomorrow, okay?”

Junhoe eyed him and smiles. “Promise? You can’t take it back now.”

Hanbin laughs at him and ruffles his hair. “Yeah, yeah. So stop making me feel guilty. I promise. Tomorrow.” and he winks at Junhoe.

Junhoe chokes a bit. “Did you just wink at me? Oh my goodness, my eyes. My precious eyes.” he says a bit too dramatically while blocking his eyes with his hands. He hears Hanbin laugh.

“Wow, stop acting like you didn’t like it. I know you think deep inside that i’m handsome.” and he winks at him again.

Junhoe makes a vomiting sound. “You wish! I have never found someone more handsome than me.” He says while raising his brows.

He just shook his head and laughs. “Whatever! I’ll be going now. See you tomorrow.”

“Okay. Be safe.” He says. He’s about close the door when Hanbin calls him again. He turns to look at him.

“Yes?”

Hanbin just looks at him. Before he knows it, Hanbin pulled him in for a hug. He’s flustered by Hanbin’s unexpected action.

“Thank you.” Hanbin mumbles almost to his ear that causes the hair in the back of his neck stand up.

After he recovered from the shock, he also wraps his arms around him. “For what? For being here?”

He felt Hanbin shake his head. “No. For the ramyun.” and Hanbin chuckles.

He pushes him away and scoffs. “You’re really annoying. You know that?”

Hanbin laughs and pulls him again for a hug. “No, idiot. But seriously, thank you for being here.”

He pats Hanbin’s back. “Now, you’re being cheesy.”

Hanbin still doesn’t let him go. “I’m being serious here. Jeez. I just want you to know that.”

He tightens his arms around Hanbin and he felt his face snuggling to his neck. ‘Hyung... don’t tempt me please..’

“I know. I’m always here to listen to whatever is bothering you. I’ll be here until you’re ready to tell me everything.”

Hanbin just hums in reply. They stayed like that for awhile until Junhoe decided to pull out from the hug and see Hanbin off. It’s already late and he still needs to walk back. Junhoe doesn’t know what he would do if Hanbin stayed longer. He might not be able to control himself.

***

Jinhwan was watching tv when Hanbin arrived home. He thought he was already sleeping because the lights are off.

“Hi hyung.” He says as he sits down the sofa next to Jinhwan.

“Hey. What took you so long?” Jinhwan asks and looks at him.

“I didn’t notice the time. We talked about some things and ate the ramyun he brought for me, that’s why I took so long.”

He sees how Jinhwan’s eyes widen and he points at him. “You two ate ramyun?! Without giving me some?! You two don’t have some respect for the elderly huh?”

He laughs and pinches Jinhwan’s cheeks. “Don’t worry, okay? He’s going to give yours tomorrow.”

Jinhwan swats away his hands and grins. “Ah. We’re settled then. Good, good.” He says while nodding his head and returns his eyes back to the tv.

Hanbin chuckles and stood up. “I’m going to sleep first, hyung.”

“Okay. I’ll sleep a bit later. Goodnight.”

“Yeah, okay. Goodnight, hyung.”

He walks to his room. He’s about to open the door when he hears Jinhwan call him.

“Yes hyung?”

Jinhwan sighs. “I forgot to tell you earlier. I’m going to leave two days from now.”

He looks at him. “Oh..okay. For how long will you be gone?”

Jinhwan hesitates before answering him. “For about three to four weeks. My sister is in Paris and wants me to accompany her. Will you be okay here alone?”

‘That long? I’ll be alone again in this house.’ He forces a smile and nods at Jinhwan. “O..of course. Don’t worry about me, i’ll be fine.”

“Are you sure?”

He reassures Jinhwan with a smile. “Yes. Don’t worry about me, okay? But you gotta have something for me when you get back, okay?”

Jinhwan laughs. “Okay, fine. I’ll also let you meet her someday if she ever thought of coming here.”

“Sure.” He smiles. “I’ll go to sleep now. Goodnight, hyung.”

“Mm. Goodnight.”

Hanbin takes off his hoodie and dived in onto his bed. He doesn’t know what he did the whole day but he feels so tired. It’s not long before he fell asleep.

****

Bobby and Yunhyeong are hanging out in Donghyuk’s place. Chanwoo should be there too, but knowing the kid, he’s late as usual.

They were sitting in a sofa watching tv. They can’t do anything until Chanwoo comes.

“Why is that kid always late?” Yun asks. He’s getting bored.

“Just let him be. I’m sure he’s on his way.”  Donghyuk says. He’s actually thankful that Chanwoo is late because he’s still too lazy to do anything.

They were quiet while watching tv when they hear the bell rang.

“Finally!” says Yunhyeong and went to open the door.

“Why are you late again?” Bobby asks as soon as he sees Chanwoo but fell silent when he saw his serious face.

“What’s wrong? Why are you so serious? Where were you?” Donghyuk asks. He’s getting worried. ‘What is it again this time?’

“Bobby hyung…” Chanwoo’s voice is sharp and the hyungs are looking at him confused. Chanwoo never acted like this and it makes them worried.

“Wh...what is it?” Bobby asks him, stuttering. ‘Why is he acting like this?’

“Tell me honestly…”

“What? What is it? Stop scaring me! Oh my goodness.” Bobby says still stuttering.

“Did you….did you…” Chanwoo says, he can’t continue what he wants to say.

“Goodness, Chanwoo! What is it?!” Bobby is getting frustrated. He’s worried he’s done something wrong.

Yunhyeong and Donghyuk are just watching them. They don’t know what’s happening.

“Did you….did you shower this morning?” Chanwoo says and grins widely at Bobby.

Bobby squints his eyes at Chanwoo. Donghyuk and Yunhyeong choked when they heard the question.

“CHANWOOOOOOO!” shouts the three and Chanwoo is cackling.

“You guys should’ve seen your faces. It’s hilarious.” He says a little out of breath from laughing. He got smacked on the head by Yunhyeong.

“This brat!” Bobby hisses at him. Donghyuk just shook his head while smiling.

Chanwoo sits between him and Bobby. Yunhyeong sits on the single sofa.

“But seriously hyung, I want to ask you something..” Chanwoo mutters. Bobby looked at him.

“What is it? This better be real or else i’m really going to end you.”

He looks at Bobby seriously. “Did you have a relationship with my brother?”

The question dropped like a bomb. Donghyuk and Yun looked at Chanwoo, eyes wide. Bobby was stunned.

“Wh-what? With who?” Bobby asks as if he didn’t hear the question clearly.

“It isn’t like I have another brother, do I? Is it true? Did you have a relationship with Hanbin hyung?” Chanwoo is serious. Dead serious that made the atmosphere around them heavy.

“What is he talking about, Bobby?” Yunhyeong asks. He’s also became serious at the mention of Hanbin’s name.

Donghyuk purses his lips. “Where did you hear that, Chanwoo?”

Donghyuk’s face is grim. He has learned about what happened to Hanbin’s relationship but doesn’t know who the guy is. And hearing all of this now, he doesn’t know what he might do if he fails to calm himself.

Chanwoo ignores all the question and looked straight into Bobby’s eyes.

“IS.IT.TRUE?” Chanwoo emphasizes every word like he plans to carve them into Bobby’s mind.

He looks away and sighs.  “Ye..yes. I’m...I’m sorry.” He hung his head low.

He didn’t expect that they would figure it out. He regrets everything he did. He really does, but they won’t understand.

“What the ?! Really, Bobby?! Really?!” Yunhyeong stands up and glares at Bobby furiously.

Chanwoo stood up and distances himself, but they didn’t expect that he would punch the wall. Donghyuk stops him immediately and tried to calm him.

He points his finger at Bobby. “I told you hyung! NOT MY BROTHER! WHAT DID YOU DO TO HIM, HUH?! WHAT?”

They have never seen Chanwoo get mad like this, but then, even Donghyuk and Yun felt furious.

Bobby doesn’t know what to say. He just looked down like a child getting scolded by his parents.

“I can’t believe this.” Chanwoo huffs, voice still edgy. This is all ridiculous, he thinks.

Bobby still doesn’t look at him. “How did you know?”

“It doesn’t matter how I found out about it. What matters is WHY DID YOU HIDE IT FROM US?”

“You won’t understand if I tell you. It’s complicated. I’m really sorry, okay? I really am. But please, how did you know? Is he back here? How?”

Chanwoo still can’t calm himself down. Is he the reason why his brother left?

“Through this.” He says as he pulls out a piece of paper from his pocket and pushes it to Donghyuk’s chest. Donghyuk catches the paper before it falls down.

“I saw that in Hanbin hyung’s book.” He says and left the place.

Donghyuk is still stunned by what happened, Bobby is quiet and so is Yunhyeong.

“Tell me this isn’t happening. I can’t deal with this. I’m going, let’s just talk when everyone’s calmed down.” Yunhyeong says and went to leave the two of them behind.

Donghyuk sighs and sits next to Bobby. He pats his shoulder. Bobby looks at him.

“Where did that book come from? Did Hanbin give that to you? Where is he?”

He lets out a sigh again. ‘How did this day become this exhausting?’

“Yeah, I met him. Somewhere…” He looks at Bobby. “What happened between you two, hyung? I’ll try to listen. Just so you know, i’m trying hard to calm myself.”

Bobby looks away. “It...it was my fault. He’s been going through something but I still did that to him.” He says and covers his face with his hand while shaking his head.

“What? He’s been going through what?” He asks, he’s looking intently at Bobby.

“I can’t tell you. I promised him I won’t tell anyone. I’m sorry.” Bobby stands up and finally looks at him, apologetically. “I’m sorry this day turned out like this. You should hear it from Hanbin and not me. And I’m sorry for hiding it from you guys, but we have our reasons.”

After he said those words, he left Donghyuk’s house. After everyone left, He felt like his energy and will to think has been drained off from his body. How did it become so complicated? What really happened?

He finally gathers all his courage and read the paper Chanwoo got from Hanbin’s book.

‘Donghyukie,

I didn’t expect to see you here, but it feels quite nice to see a familiar face again. I wrote this letter because I know I owe you this one. Actually, I owe everyone an explanation about why I really left. But the thing is, I’m not yet ready. My mind is hazy and I don’t know what to say, but I will try to write this with all honesty that I can give. I don’t know if you knew about me having a relationship with someone. You know, a romantic relationship. But it’s not with a girl, Donghyuk. It’s with a guy.

Of course I know you all know about my preference, but I didn’t tell you who I was with.

It was Bobby hyung. He’s my ex. Please don’t get mad at him. I am the one who asked him to keep us a secret. Things got ty and everything just got to me at some point. I lost control. I was mad. And sad. And empty. But it wasn’t why I left. I just want to give you this truth. I will tell you when I’m ready. I can’t write it in here because I’m afraid you won’t understand.

I don’t want to think that it’s fate that made you find me, but I just wished that you could have found me a few more years later. When I finally healed myself.

I’ll be back. But not too soon. Take care always and I’m sorry.

Hanbin.'

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How was it? This took a long time. My schedule is soon to be packed but I'll update whenever I can. I always write everyday anyway.

Thank you for reading and please do comment. I like reading your thoughts about this story.

And Happy 2nd Anniversary to my seven sons. Let's last real long. <3