“You found who?” Junhoe asks, although he already knows who. He just wants to make sure because all the hope he has left is already decreasing. He’s afraid of the possibility that they might not find him anytime soon. But they did. “Hanbin hyung, Junhoe. I found him.” Donghyuk says, he knows Junhoe needs the assurance. They remained silent for a moment before Junhoe spoke. “Where? Where did you see him?” He might go there as soon as possible to see him for himself. “Here in France.” Donghyuk answered him, he knows Junhoe would go there but he thinks that maybe, it’s not yet the right time. But then again, it’s been years. Junhoe misses Hanbin so much.

“Did you ask him to go back?” Donghyuk only hums in reply. “What did he say?” He sighs before answering. “He said he won’t go back. Not now, at least.” He lets out another sigh. Junhoe stayed silent. “Do you know how he looks like now, Junhoe? He looks the same. But he dyed his hair black. It’s not blonde anymore. And his smile, his smile is still the same. The only difference is, his smile doesn’t reach his eyes anymore. He's broken, Junhoe. And it hurts to see Hanbin hyung like that.” A tear escaped from his eye after he said that. Hanbin is a good hyung to him. Junhoe is still silent. “Junhoe-ya, do you know why he left?” he asks hoping that he would get an answer this time. He waited for a few seconds before Junhoe answered him. “No...I don’t know, to be honest. But I know why he’s hurting like that.” Junhoe’s voice was quiet. “Can you please tell me? Because when I talked to him this morning he said he himself doesn’t know why he left and that he lost himself. But Hanbin hyung isn’t the type of person who will leave without a reason. Is it because him?” Donghyuk’s chest felt heavy. It’s hard because he doesn’t know a lot of things. He only decided to look for Hanbin because he wants to bring him back to them, with his friends and family. He wants them to be complete.

Junhoe sighs, he doesn’t know if he should tell Donghyuk but he owes him this one. Donghyuk looked for Hanbin without complain. He should atleast give this to him.  “Yes..the reason why he’s hurting is because of him...Hanbin hyung, he’s a great guy, you know. But somehow, there are people who doesn’t realize someone’s worth until they’ve already done much damage to the person. Until that person decides to leave. He cheated on Hanbin hyung, Donghyuk. And Hanbin hyung, he was badly hurt. To the point that it made him depressed. He may always look strong but let me tell you, Hanbin hyung is a very fragile person. It was hard for him because he really loved that guy, and being cheated on is the worst feeling for all I know.” He sighs, not wanting to continue but he has to. “You may say that it’s not enough reason to leave like that, but we know that people have different feelings and views on things. Hanbin hyung really loved him, but he was taken for granted. Everything was too much to handle and he felt like he’s gonna lose his sanity. But he held on until they broke up. But after all that, he stayed, so I don’t know why he suddenly left 3 years ago.” He took a deep breath after saying all those things. Even if it has nothing to do with him, it’s still hard to say it to anyone. The other line is quiet, and he bets Donghyuk is still taking in everything he just told him. It’s not long before Donghyuk speak again. “I feel bad, Junhoe. I feel bad that I wasn't able to comfort him during those times. I thought everything was fine between them, but turns out it’s not. He was keeping it all to himself. But how did you know about it, Junhoe? Did he tell you?” He doesn’t know how to answer Donghyuk. But then, he has to. “No, he didn’t tell me. I… I knew about it on my own. And I saw him one day, completely lost, so I decided to make him open up to me. I was beside him during the times when he thinks he can’t keep it to himself anymore.”

“How did you know about it?” Donghyuk asks. All these things he’s hearing now is a bit too much for him. “I just knew about it.” There’s still something Junhoe’s not telling him, but he doesn’t want to push it. “Why didn’t you tell us?” He asks Junhoe. “Trust me, i wanted to tell you. But he made me promise that it will stay between the both of us and he doesn’t want to worry you. He doesn’t want to burden you with his problems.” He sighs. Hanbin is always like that. He doesn’t want to worry anyone around him but in exchange, it broke him. He kept it all in by himself. “Thank you for telling me, Junhoe.” Junhoe only hums in reply. “For how long are you gonna stay there?” Junhoe asks. “I arrived here two days ago. I planned to stay for a week, so I have three days left here.”

“Okay. Tell me when you get back here. I might go there too, but i’m still a bit busy. There’s too much work in the office and I don’t know if I can finish it soon. Shall I run away too?” He jokes since he doesn’t want to be in serious mode for too long. It’s suffocating. All he knows right now is he’s happy because they already know where Hanbin is. Donghyuk laughs at him. “Don’t dare, idiot. Your dad’s gonna end you if you do that.” He scoffs when he heard what Donghyuk said. “As if he can do that. In our house, Koo Junhoe rules.” Donghyuk laughs. “Whatever. You’re spitting nonsense again. I’m hanging up now. Byeee!” Before he could say bye, Donghyuk already hanged up. ‘This jerk..’ He hisses to the phone before tossing it to his bed. He threw his body to the bed and looked at the ceiling while smiling. ‘I know you don’t want to be found right now, but everything’s incomplete without you…I’ll see you soon, Hanbin hyung…’

----------

Hanbin decided to close the cafe a bit early than usual. He can’t focus the whole day because of his meeting with Donghyuk, it’s the first time he’s seen any of his friends after 3 years. He misses them, he really does, but he can’t make himself go back in Korea.

He’s the last one to go home so he’s in charge of locking the doors. When he secured all the locks and windows of the cafe, he started to walk home. The place he’s staying in isn’t that far from the cafe and besides, he likes walking at night because it makes him calm and he can think about a lot of things peacefully. He likes the calmness of the streets and the fresh air that touches his skin. Just everything about the place calms him, and that’s what he always needed. After a few minutes of walking, he finally reached his apartment. He saw a small figure sitting by the terrace. Hanbin smiles. “Hi hyung!” He waves at the guy. It waves back at him and smiled. “You’re a bit early today huh?” He sat down at one of the chairs and nods. “Yeah, there’s not much customers today anyway. I also can’t focus for like the whole day. So, I just decided to close the cafe a bit early.” Jinhwan only hums and drinks a bit of his wine. “You want some?” Jinhwan asks him. He nods and took the glass of wine. “Thanks.” Jinhwan is a nice guy. He’s his roommate for about 2 years now and they already know almost everything about each other. He was grateful because Jinhwan helped him and treated him well. He’s also Korean so that’s why it didn’t took long for them to get close.

“Anything special or weird happened today?” Jinhwan asks him. He took a sip of the wine before shakes his head. “No, well...actually yes.” Jinhwan raised his eyebrow at him. “What is it? Is it about a girl? Did you accidentally kissed someone? Did you fight someone? What is it?” Jinhwan asks continuously making him laugh. “Whoa!  calm down, will you?” He chuckles. “It’s not about a girl, okay? And, no I didn’t accidentally kissed someone and I didn’t fight someone either. Even though I have bad temper, I don’t act irrationally. You head.” He laughs at Jinhwan. “Why are you so defensive? And did you just called me head?” Hanbin puts his poker face on. “No, I didn’t.” He tries not to laugh at Jinhwan getting ready to smack his head. It’s not long before he got hit. “ I heard you, idiot.” He laughs while holding the back of his head.

“I met someone today, hyung.” He said quietly. Jinhwan looked at him. “Who?” He finished the wine in his glass and smiled sadly. “Donghyuk. He’s my friend.” Jinhwan only hums and didn’t ask anymore. He knows Hanbin will open up to him if he wants to. “I felt happy when I saw him this morning. But I also felt scared. It’s nice to see someone familiar, someone close to me, but then, I didn’t know what to think.” He moves close to Jinhwan and hugged him. “I want to fix myself, hyung. But after all these years, I’m still the same. I don’t know what to do.” Jinhwan pats his shoulder and his hair. He buried his face into Jinhwan’s chest. “Maybe it’s time that you face them, Hanbin-ah. They didn’t do anything to you, you know that.” He shakes his head. “I can’t. I don’t want to worry them and they mean a lot to me. I don’t want to make them think about me everytime. They still have their own lives.” Jinhwan kept his hair to calm him. “I know. But you can’t prevent people from worrying about you. Why? Because they care for you and you are important to them. You can’t just tell them to stop worrying about you because for them, you’re important. You matter to them, Hanbin. Did you ever think about going back?” He nods. “Yeah. But…” “But you’re afraid to see the people who hurt you?” He nods again. “Do you have an idea why they did that to you? Did you already hear their explanations, reasons?” He looks up to Jinhwan and shook his head. “No. I’m too scared.” “About what? About what their reasons are? About the answers to your questions on why they did it?” Jinhwan looks at him. “I don’t know. Maybe.” He buried his face again on Jinhwan’s chest. Hugging Jinhwan has always been a comfort to him. “Maybe that’s why you still can’t fix yourself, because you still have questions left unanswered. Maybe what you need is a closure. Eventually, you willl need to face them one day. It’s inevitable. You can’t hide from them forever. You need to accept that no matter how painful their answers are, they’re still answers. And that would free you from everything that’s hurting you.” They fell into silence after Jinhwan said that. It got Hanbin thinking. ‘Do i really need to go back? Is Jinhwan hyung right?’ Jinhwan smiled at him before releasing him from the hug. “It’s getting late. Let’s go sleep, now.” He nods and stood up from his seat. He follows Jinhwan inside before heading straight to his room. He changed into his pajamas before he lays down his bed. He stayed up late thinking about what Jinhwan said before he fell asleep.

The weather was okay this morning and it suddenly rained during midday. It has been raining a lot these days but Hanbin doesn’t mind. He likes the sound of the rain. He’s sitting in a sofa near the window while drinking his coffee. He doesn’t have a lot to do today and the cafe isn’t packed. It never was, only on rare occasions. He was deep in his thoughts when someone sat beside him.

“A penny for your thoughts?” Hanbin looked at person beside him. It was Donghyuk. He smiled at him. “Hi hyung!” Donghyuk grins at him. He can’t help but chuckle. ‘This kid never changed’ “Hi. What brought you here?” “Nothing. I just want to stop by since tomorrow is my last day here. I’ll be leaving the day after.” He nods. “For how long did you stay here?” He asks Donghyuk. “A week.” He nods again. “Did you take a look around already? There are a lot of nice places here.” Donghyuk sighs. “Unfortunately, no. I was a bit busy for work and my blog the past days, so I didn’t have time. I wanted to go today though, but it started raining. And also, I’m alone. I don’t think I can enjoy it that much.” He hesitates before asking Donghyuk. “Do you want to go tomorrow? I can accompany you if you want.” Donghyuk looks at him surprised. “Really?” He smiles. “Uh huh. I don’t have to work tomorrow anyway. Let’s just meet up here tomorrow morning. Is that fine?” Donghyuk smiled at him. “Of course. I’ll come early.” He just smiled in response. He turns to look back outside the window. The rain already stopped.

“Hyung.” Donghyuk calls him. “Hmm?” He looks at him. “Do you still write new stuffs everyday?” He shook his head. “No, i’ve been a bit busy with this cafe so I don’t have that much time. I’m also not inspired these days though, so it’s hard to write.” Donghyuk only nods. “Hyung.” He calls him again. Hanbin chuckles. “What is it this time?” Donghyuk raised his eyebrows and grins at him. “Can I borrow one of the books you showed me yesterday?” It took long before he answered. “Okay. I’ll just give it to you, you can keep it.” He stood up and Donghyuk followed him to the corner where the books are. He’s always been a fan of Hanbin’s writing. His thoughts are honest and pure. He can't help but admire Hanbin for that.

Donghyuk stayed there for a few hours before he bid Hanbin goodbye. “See you tomorrow, hyung.” He smiles. “Yeah. Take care.” He waves at him. He waited until Donghyuk gets into the bus before he went back inside the cafe. It felt nice talking with Donghyuk. He suddenly missed talking to his friends. Before he could get deep into his thoughts again, he started making himself busy to finish off any work left for the day.

As promised, He showed Donghyuk around the place. Luckily, Donghyuk also liked the places he showed him today. They are now sitting in a bench at the park after they’ve had their lunch. “Everything is so pretty here, hyung.” Donghyuk said while admiring the scenery. In front of them is a lake and there are birds chirping around. “Yeah. That’s what I thought too when I first came here.” Donghyuk looks at him. “Like three years ago?” He shakes his head. “No. A long time ago. When I was a kid.” “You mean, you’ve been here before?” He nods while smiling. “Yeah.” Donghyuk looks away and starts to admire the place again. “Are you sure you don’t want to go back, hyung?” He turns to look at him but he’s busy looking at the lake. He shook his head. “No. Not yet. I can’t.” He heard Donghyuk sighed. “Okay.” They were silent for a moment before they decided to head home. Hanbin brought Donghyuk to the bus stop. “So, did you have fun?” He asks. Donghyuk smiled at him. “Yeah. Thanks for today hyung.” He nods and smiles at him. “No problem. You take care, okay? Have a safe flight tomorrow.” Donghyuk hugged Hanbin. He hesitatedfor a bit before he returned the hug. “I will, hyung. Take care of yourself. We’ll be waiting for you.” The bus arrived after they released each other from the hug. He taps Donghyuk on his shoulder and smiled at him. “Bye, hyung.” He waves his hand. “Bye.” Donghyuk smiled at him before he gets on the bus. He waited for the bus to leave before he went home.

It’s been two weeks since Donghyuk left and everything is the same again around Hanbin. He’s sitting in his usual spot in the cafe while drinking coffee. The weather is quite nice, a great day for a walk. Maybe he should do that later.

“Sir” He heard the waitress call for him. “Yes?” He asks as he turns to look at her only to find someone who he didn’t expect to see, standing in front of him. The waitress bows at him before leaving the two of them.

“Hanbin hyung.” That voice. He didn’t expect to hear that voice today.

“Junhoe..” Hanbin says, almost like a whisper.

******

I feel like my writing style looks like I'm writing an essay, or is that just me?

Anyways, I hope you enjoyed this chapter. I felt like I wrote this a bit too long or is it fine?

Thank you for reading.