It was snowing outside and everything seemed so gloomy. Doyoung watched the way the snow was falling so gracefully and he could still hear Taeyong scolding Yuta in the kitchen. Their voices were loud, but he had gotten used to it over the years. He didn't exactly know what they were even fighting about.

 

He had always loved the winter only because Christmas was just around the corner. Only less than a month away. He sighed, focusing his eyes on the falling snowflakes.

 

After a few minutes, Taeyong walked in the living room, sporting an upset look. Something was up.

 

“Are you here to tell me that Sicheng is stuck at the airport?”

 

Shaking his head, Taeyong said, “No, Jaehyun just picked him up, but they got stuck on the way back.”

 

Doyoung looked at Yuta, who was talking to someone on the phone. “What do we do?”

 

“The only thing we can do is wait for the snow to clear up. We can’t do anything right now.” Taeyong looked weirdly....flustered. “I shouldn’t have let him pick Sicheng up.”

 

“Hey, I offered to pick him, but since you wanted to see Jaehyun so bad, you had the guy pick Sicheng up just to come here. Oh my god Tae,” Yuta yelled from his the kitchen, pissed off. “Stop in being so annoying.”

 

“It’s not that okay. You already know how I feel about him so shut up.”

 

Yuta was obviously irritated when he ended up the phone call. “You know what? I’m done. I have to go out there.” He grabbed his coat and put on his boots. Doyoung watched the way Yuta stomped out of his house, or more like, their house. Yuta has been dating Sicheng since high school days and would do anything for him, but Sicheng would never take the time of day for him. They’re in love, but SiCheng lived a double life with fame and money. There were also so many things to say about Yuta; with all that in mind, Yuta was brave enough to really take actions.

 

“What are you doing Doyoung? Stop him! He’s your cousin for god sake!”

 

“He’ll be fine,” Doyoung said, eyes following Yuta’s footsteps out the door.

 

“Over my dead body,” Taeyong looked at him in disbelief before running after Yuta out the door. “Come back here! You will die out there!”

 

Doyoung watched them from the windowsill. Taeyong was blocking the car and Yuta was telling him to get the out. Sometimes, Doyoung wonders if the two will ever get along.

 

After 3 hours of being stuck inside the house, Yuta finally returned with Jaehyun and Sicheng trailing behind him. The only thing on Doyoung’s mind was how much Sicheng had grown. He seemed manlier, fresh and young. Like he came straight out of a Chinese novel. Yuta took off Sicheng’s scarf and offered him food and something warm to drink. They haven’t seen Sicheng in over a year and that was telling something.

 

Sicheng was an actor in China and he even had his own variety show. Doyoung would never admit it, but he was beyond jealous. Sicheng had the life that he could only dream of. Sicheng was the lucky one out of the group and he could only wish to have something he can’t have.

 

Sicheng sat down next to him and gave him a tight hug. “It’s great to see you again Doyoung. Still got that bunny smile.”

 

Doyoung just smiled and hugged him back. “I missed you so much.”

 

“Of course. Me too.” Sicheng patted his cheek before walking over to Taeyong who was chatting with Jaehyun. Or he would say, flirting.

 

Doyoung sat back down on his couch, looking out the window. He could hear them talking about how Jaehyun’s car got towed away and that Yuta would have to drive him to get his car back. They all went into the kitchen and Doyoung could see how Jaehyun gave him a small smile before closing the kitchen door, leaving out him to think the empty living room.

 

Doyoung hasn’t known Jaehyun for very long and they met through Yuta. The guy was pretty cool and nice and Doyoung liked the way he smiled. Jaehyun was a year younger than him although he acted so much older. There were some others things he could say, but it all really didn’t matter. Jaehyun was someone that Doyoung had never taken up the courage to talk to even though they’ve been around each other far too many times.

 

After a few minutes, he drifted off to sleep.

 

A week later.

 

“It’s getting worse, Doyoung.”

 

The only thing he could do was nod. He closed his eyes, his blood was getting out of his body once again. He was scared and he has never been this scared before. He had leukemia ever since he was young, but as he got older, his body got worse. It’s a very common disease and anything could happen to him. He knew that he didn't have much time left in the world to be able to do much and his heart pained thinking about it. 

 

After it was done, he looked at his mother. His mother smiled at him and kissed his forehead.

 

“Everything’s going to be okay, right?” He looked at his mother and he could see the sadness in her eyes. It pains him every time.

 

His mother nodded. “Yes, honey.”

 

It had never seemed so fake before, but his mother never wanted him to get sad. After a while, Yuta walked in with Sicheng, holding a basket of fruits. Doyoung had a thing for fruits although he couldn’t eat them a lot.

 

“Thanks, Yuta,” Doyoung said, smiling at him.

 

“No problem,” his cousin patted his head. “I promise to never let anything happen to you okay? There’s no way I’m letting some disease take you away from me.” Yuta was his cousin from his mom’s side. His aunt has married a Japanese guy and they used to live in Japan, but now they moved down here so Yuta can attend college. He was happy to have someone like Yuta to look out for him.  

 

Nodding, Doyoung looked over to see Jaehyun and Taeyong walking in. “What are you guys doing here?”

 

Jaehyun shrugged. “Yuta just said that we might not see you for a few weeks so we might as well visit.” He smiled at him and he just nodded, head falling back on the bed. A few weeks ago he felt fine, but just 3 days ago, he had fainted and felt like he could almost die back then. It had happened before, but he was getting weaker and weaker as days pass. He needed the treatment.

 

Taeyong gave him a decorated card with some words scribbled on it. “Don’t worry, you’ll be okay.”

 

When everyone left, Doyoung took a deep breath and opened his book to read. After a few minutes, Doyung heard the door creak open. He looked over to see Jaehyun giving him a basket of flowers. Doyoung found it so odd since they weren’t even close and they barely talked, but here was Jaehyun giving him flowers.

 

“Oh thank you!” He held out his hands to get the basket of flowers, but Jaehyun put it on the ground.

 

“It’s okay. I'll just put it here.”

 

Doyoung bit his lips, looking at him as if there was something to say. “Is there-”

 

“I want you to feel better,” Jaehyun quickly said, letting his hands brush across Doyoung’s cheek. “Get well and see you later.”

 

Doyoung smiled at him and watched him leave.

 

After a week, he was released and Sicheng had invited him to go shopping for Christmas presents. Doyoung really liked shopping and it was one his hobbies. Doyoung was known as the fashionista in the group and had so many clothes in his closet.

 

They met some old high school friends and brought a lot of outfits to wear. When he came across a black varsity jacket, he suddenly remembered the first time he met Jaehyun. They met when Sicheng had invited him to watch a football game at Yuta’s school. Back then, Yuta used to play football for his school and he and Sicheng went to different schools although they were dating. Yuta had introduced Jaehyun to Doyoung after the game and all he could remember was the eye smile the guy sported at him with his big varsity jacket hanging on his shoulder. He really didn't have much impression on Jaehyun, but the smile was something that could bright up a whole world. It was really the only thing that stood out.

 

“Hey, this looks like something Jaehyun would wear,” he said, feeling the nice fabric.

 

“It does huh? You should get it for him.”

 

Grabbing the price tag, he made a face. It was damn expensive. “Dude, this is expensive.”

 

“I’ll help you pay.”

 

“You sure?”

 

“Yeah. I mean why not?”

 

“I don’t know if he would like it.”

 

Sicheng raised his brows. “You’ve know Jaehyun since high school, why do you think he wouldn’t like it? He loves these things.”

 

Doyoung just nodded. “I mean yeah,” he glanced around for a bit, biting his lips. “But I don’t talk to him.”

 

“That’s because you’re shy.”

 

Doyoung almost laughed. “Not really.”

 

They went shopping for more presents for their friends. They spent a lot of time catching up and talking about random things. Sicheng liked to talk about his movies and his love for acting, and a whole lot of other things. Afterwards, Yuta picked them up. When they both jumped in the car, Sicheng changed the radio and they drove back home. Doyoung had moved out of Yuta’s place and back to his parents place due to his health conditions. They said that it was better for him so they can take care of him and not be a burden to Yuta, who was always working and going to school.

 

They arrived back to Doyoung’s place and Yuta helped him carry his stuff inside. After a hug, Yuta left. Doyoung managed to separate his gifts and organize them on the ground of his room before laying down in his bed.

 

He sometimes just wanted to be normal and not have to worry so much about his sickness. He hated having to be different from everyone else and he hated having to tell people that he was sick. But this was the life that he was given and he had to be content that he was at least living. He looked over at his clock. It was 6 o’ clock and he could hear his mother cooking food downstairs.

 

“How was your day Doyoung?” his mother asked when he came down the stairs.

 

Doyoung just shrugged. “My day was okay,” he said, sitting down on a chair.

 

“Just okay? You love shopping Doyoung.”

 

"I know."

 

Doyoung had never been in love nor had he ever thought about falling in love. It was something that had never crossed his mind. He was over at Yuta’s for a housewarming party with all their friends. Ten was by his side, talking about being in love with Johnny and how great it feels and about other things.

 

“It feels like your world is at the center of your fingertips and your heart is the only thing holding it. If it shatters, then you shatter.”

 

“When you shatter, everything shatters, just like your heart.”

 

“Exactly.”

 

“Don’t let anyone shatter your heart, Ten. It would be the worse.”

 

“I won’t. You shouldn’t let anyone hurt you too.”

 

Doyoung hummed and looked out the window. It was snowing again and he wanted to do something. And then an idea came to him. He looked at Jaehyun with his arms around Taeyong, and Sicheng, Yuta, Johnny, and Taeil playing a card game on the floor. He suddenly grabbed Ten’s hand and opened the door.

 

“Come on guys. It’s snowing.”

 

Ten followed him outside into the yard. Doyoung was looking up at the sky, catching little snowflakes. Ten smiled.

 

“Snowball fight!” Ten yelled.

 

Doyoung smiled, making his own snowball. “You’re on.”

 

By now, everyone was outside and they were having snowball fights. Doyoung saw that Yuta and Sicheng were hitting each other and smiled. Jaehyun was trying to aim at Taeyong but he missed and Ten and Johnny were doing snow angels. They played for half an hour before going back in to have hot chocolate.

 

“That was a great idea, Doyoung,” Johnny said, wrapping his arms around his shoulder. Johnny was a big guy, probably bigger than all of them, but he had a kind heart.

 

“Thanks. It seemed a little stuffy in here.”

 

“Doyoung always has the best ideas,” Ten said.

 

Doyoung just smiled them before drinking his chocolate. Out of the corner of his eye, he can see Jaehyun looking him, but he didn’t pay much attention.

 

“Hey guys, we’re going to go watch a movie now,” Yuta said.

 

Doyoung looked at the clock on the microwave. “I have to leave real soon guys.”

 

“Oh yeah. You have a check in tomorrow.”

 

“I’ll take him home,” Jaehyun offered with a smile.

 

Yuta smiled at him. “Will you?”

 

“Sure. He doesn’t live too far off.”

 

“Are you cold?” Jaehyun asked him when they were in the car alone. Doyoung realized that this is the first time that he’s ever been alone with Jaehyun in the car. It felt nice, but at the same time, overwhelming and awkward.

 

“No. Thanks for asking though.”

 

Jaehyun just nodded at him before reaching over to help him seatbelt.

 

“Oh thank you,” Doyoung said, looking at him.

 

“No problem.” Jaehyun just smiled at him before leaning back. Doyoung could smell his minty breath and his strong scent.

 

Once Jaehyun drove out of the driveway, they were quiet the whole way.

 

When they arrived at Doyoung’s house, Doyoung looked over to him.

 

“Hey, you know that Taeyong likes you right?”

 

Jaehyun just smiled at that. “Yeah, but…”

 

“But?”

 

Jaehyun looked at him for a moment. “I’ll wait for the day he confesses to me.”

 

“Good luck with that.” Everyone knows that Taeyong doesn’t confess.

 

“He’ll come around.”

 

Doyoung bid Jaehyun goodbye before opening his door. He watched Jaehyun drive off before going inside.

 

 

During the next few days. Doyoung couldn’t go outside much because he felt dizzy every time he steps foot outside. He didn’t want to stay in the hospital because he hated it there. Ten had came over to his house to check on his condition and was there for support. Doyoung liked having a best friend he could depend on, but he felt bad for being a burden. When it was a few weeks before Christmas, Doyoung was able to go outside and watch a play with Ten. It was the remake of the Grinch and Doyoung loved that movie. He and Ten always watched it growing up and it was one of their favorite childhood movies.

 

“You know, I appreciate you a lot Ten,” Doyoung whispered against his shoulder. “You never looked down on me because I was sick. You never treated me differently than anyone else. I’m really happy to know that I have someone like you.”

 

Ten smiled at him understanding where he was going at. “I should thank you. You’re my life saver. You gave me happiness and you helped me understand that life is worth it when I was at my worse. I- I just could never understand how you’re so strong.”

 

Doyoung sighed, looking away. “When you’re at this point in your life, there’s so much that you can do.” He stopped for a moment, finding the right words. “You’re different from me. It’s hard when you have a sickness, but you’ve just got to be strong. There’s nothing that isn’t worth it.”

 

“What do you want to do before you die?”

 

Doyoung bit his lips, thinking. “There is one thing I’ve always wanted.”

 

“What is it?”

 

Doyoung looked up at him. “Fall in love. That’s all I’ve ever wanted.”

 

“Don’t worry, there’s time for you. You will fall in love.”

 

“How much time will I have left?”

 

Ten looked at him, eyes becoming watery. “You have forever Doyoung. Remember, you’re invincible. You can do anything.”

 

“We can do anything, Ten. We have each other, we are invincible.”

 

Ten smiled at him. “Always.”

 

Sometimes Doyoung wished that was true.

 

“Doyoung.”

 

“Yeah, mom?”

 

“Wake up.”  

 

Doyoung opened his eye to look at his mother. There was worry in her eyes.

 

“Mom? Is everything okay?” He looked around the room and realized that he was back in the hospital room. He doesn’t remember anything that had happened the day before.

 

“The doctor is coming to talk to you.”

 

It took about a few moments for the doctor to come over. He faced Doyoung and gave him a small smile. “Doyoung, I want you to look at me.”

 

Doyoung looked at him closely. “Yes?”

 

“This will be your last test. You will be free once I let you go, but I want you to know something.”

 

Doyoung didn’t get it. His heart was becoming heavier. Something wasn’t right. “What is happening?”

 

“You don’t have much time left.”

 

You don’t have much time. The words echoed in his head, piercing through his heart. It hurt so much. “What do you mean? Mom, you said everything will alright!”

 

“Doyoung.”

 

That was when Doyoung broke down, everything crashing before his eyes at once. Life just wasn’t fair. It never will be.

 

 

Doyoung woke up the next morning to see Yuta and Ten by his side.

 

“Hey, buddy. How are you feeling?”

 

Doyoung smiled at them, wanting to let them know that he was alright, but he knew that he was broken inside. Nothing will ever be the same.

 

“We got you some sweets,” Yuta said, putting some cookies on the bed. “We know that you needed something to boost you up. Your mom wouldn’t tell me anything.”

 

“Thank you Yuta,” he said, sitting up. He reached for some of the cookies and took a bite. Yuta was always trying to make everything better. “They told me that I can be released soon.”

 

“That’s good.”

 

They stayed there for awhile longer until Yuta had to go. Ten didn’t want to leave him, but he had night classes he needed to attend. When Ten was about to leave, they saw Jaehyun and Taeyong make their way inside. Jaehyun was carrying flowers once again.

 

“Hey guys,” Ten said, helping Jaehyun put the flowers on the table next to Doyoung.

 

“I have to leave for classes with Ten,” Taeyong said, “but I wanted to see if you’re okay.”

 

“I’m fine,” Doyoung said. “No worries.”

 

“Did the doctor say anything? Is your sickness getting worse?”

 

Doyoung didn’t want to tell them that he was dying. He didn’t plan on telling them anything. Well not yet. When the right time comes, he will.

 

“I’ll be released earlier this time.”

 

“That’s good. We have to go. Jaehyun, you can stay back if you want to.”

 

“Okay.”

 

When they left, Doyoung finally looked over to Jaehyun. Jaehyun held out a red rose for him.

 

“For the most beautiful one of them all,” he said, handing him the rose. “It’s only for people who deserve it, like you.”

 

Doyoung smiled at him, taking the rose into his hands. Somehow his heart felt warmer because of those words and the younger boy’s sweet actions. “Thank you.”

 

“You’re welcome.”

 

Doyoung looked at him closely. Jaehyun was wearing a striped T-shirt and jeans. “It’s pretty cold out there you know.”

 

Jaehyun suddenly reached out for his red varsity jacket. It was one his favorites, the one that Doyoung really liked. “I wanted you to have this. I think it’d be amazing to see you wear it.”

 

Doyoung looked at the jacket. “Why are you giving it to me?”

 

“Because I want you to have it. Yuta said that you have a thing for it.”

 

Doyoung blushed. It wasn’t just that he had a thing for it, he liked it when Jaehyun would wear it. It made Jaehyun look handsome and strong.

 

“You don’t have classes?”

 

Jaehyun shook his head. He slowly leaned in close to him. “I don’t. Do you want to go somewhere with me?”

 

“Where?”

 

“Somewhere with fresh air. I know you don’t like it here.”

 

“Okay.”

 

Jaehyun asked the nurse if he could take Doyoung around and the nurse was fine with it. Doyoung grabbed his IV stand and followed Jaehyun outside and down the elevator. “Where are you taking me?”

 

Jaehyun reached out for his hand. Jaehyun’s hand felt warm and Doyoung somehow thought that they fit nicely. “I want you to see something.” They were outside in the cold freezing air and Jaehyun put his jacket on him. “Come on.”

 

They walked behind the hospital and Jaehyun showed him a small snowman that was placed next to one of the bushes. He smiled at that and slowly leaned down to touch it.

 

“It’s beautiful. You made this?”

 

“Yup. I made it before I came to see you.”

 

Doyoung looked up at him. “It’s really cute.”

 

Jaehyun smiled at him. “But you’re a lot cuter.”

 

Doyoung didn’t know how to take the compliment so he didn’t say anything. They walked around some more until it started snowing.

 

“Do you want to go inside now?”

 

Doyoung shook his head. “Not yet. I want to see a bit more of the snow. Don’t you think it’s just beautiful?” Doyoung put his hands out to feel the wet substance.

 

Jaehyun followed his gaze. “It is.” He did the same thing.

 

“You only see this once a year.”

 

“Is this your favorite season?” He asked, watching him closely.

 

“Yes.”

 

Doyoung took his hand and walked back to the hospital room. “Thanks for taking me out there.”

 

“Anytime. Just call me when you need me.”

 

Doyoung had to drop out of school ever since he started fainting in class. It wasn’t the best thing for him, but he loved school. He always had good grades and excelled in his classes. High school had been one the best years of his life and he felt sad that he couldn’t continue college. He decided that it was okay because he could always become a writer and that is what he wanted to be. He loved writing stories and it was one of his favorite hobbies. He learned to love reading books because when he was younger, he could never really sit down to read one, but now he had so much time on his hands.

 

When it reached 10 in the morning, he decided to walk outside to visit the closest cafe. His friend, Chanyeol, worked there and he would always give him new samples of the drinks or just give free food. He could never really eat them.

 

“What brings you here today?”

 

Doyoung smiled at him. “Just doing some writing I guess. How’s the place?”

 

“Slow, but good.”

 

Doyoung went to sit down in the corner of the cafe. He opened his laptop and continued typing.

 

After a moment he received a phone call from Ten.

 

“I’m at the cafe.”

 

“You are? Oh good, Jaehyun and I are heading there right now.”

 

“Okay.”

 

When they bot