Russian Roulette | Without You
| Red Velvet | NCT U |
(iii)
"Change the heavy world
Look how free we are, so free
Inside, only you are allowed
The one to take my heart, that is you..."
- Limitless -
X

| 3 Years Ago |

She hopped off the sofa and went to him, hugging him, glad to see him home. He hugged her tightly and pulled her face close to him.

When was he ever going to hug her again like this?

He stood there and smelled her hair. He was going to miss her. His heart was breaking as he looked at her face. After a long puase, Taeyong spoke.

'We..need to talk.' Taeyong said as he saw her face fall slightly. Taeyong fidgeted around before continuing what he had to say. He knew he would regret it but he couldn't compromise her safety. The rain's intensity only increased as the tension between them increased.

Seulgi frowned as she sensed his tone. Why was he behaving like this? Seulgi felt an uncomfortable sensation rising up as she looked at him and waited for him to speak. Her guts twisted as she saw his throat struggling to force the words out.

'What is it?' Seulgi said, a dreadful feeling latching onto her. Taeyong tore his gaze from her and took a step back.

'Let's...' Taeyong finally said and Seulgi strained to listen. '...breakup' Seulgi's eyes widened behind Taeyong. Taeyong dug his fingers in his palms but it was nothing near the pain he felt in his heart. 'Taeyong, what are you saying?' Seulgi forced out, her mind unable to comprehend what he proposed.

'Let's breakup.' Taeyong repeated with more resolution and turned to her only to see her pupils quivering like crazy. 'Why so suddenly? What's the reason?!' Seulgi said and it only hurt and heart to say it.

'We can't be together.' Taeyong said and tried to swallow his sorrow that threatened to explode his heart. 'What's the reason, Taeyongie, don't scare me, please!' Seulgi said, almost shouting, and held his wrists. Taeyong refused to say a word and shook his head and closed his eyes tightly. Seulgi felt her whole system crumble as Taeyong did not say any word.

'Why?!' Seulgi said as tears finally rolled down her eyes. She didn't think that his absence (due to work) for one month was able to change the 3 years they'd been together. It didn't make any sense and it only made her more frustrated. 'Taeyong, speak to me. Why?' Seulgi continued to ask, her hands shaking his wrist.

'I CAN'T TELL YOU WHY. SEULGI, FOR GOODNESS SAKE, PLEASE, JUST LEAVE, PLEASE!' Taeyong snapped and pulled his wrists from her hands, shaking her shoulders. He opened his eyes only to see her completely heartbroken, stunned and shocked. Seulgi's eyes were filled with trembling tears that prevented from seeing the tears Taeyong's eyes bore.

Seulgi sniffed and took a deep breath. 'You want me to leave right now.' This was Taeyong's last chance to take back whatever he said but he couldn't turn back.

Taeyong turned away and ruffled his brown hair before turning back to her. 

'Yes.'

Seulgi stepped back and looked at Taeyong, tears streaming down her cheeks like a waterfall. She walked away as Taeyong stood rooted the groud just as his eyes continued to remain fixated on the ground. He could hear cupboards being flung open, hangers being tossed around and furious zipping sounds piercing through the rain. A clear indication of what he had done.

Seulgi lugged out a large bag down the stairs and walked frantically to the door. She threw a last glance at Taeyong before walking out of the house. At that moment when she slammed the door shut, a tear escaped from Taeyong's eye and fell on the carpet.

X

Seulgi opened her eyes slowly. Her eyes turned to the large window and she saw the clear outline of the door against the navy sky. Seulgi's gaze finally landed on the sleeping figure beside her and she was reminded how the night began. Seulgi blinked as she continued to look at Taeyong.

Her mind was once again sent into a flurry of thoughts. 'This isn't right. We're not together anymore. Why am I here, beside him. What am I doing?!' Seulgi's mind screamed at her. Her eyes quickly shifted to the clock. '5 am. I have to leave before he wakes up.' Seulgi thought and sat up suddenly. She unfolded her legs from the sheets and was about to leave the bed when an outstretched arm grabbed her arm and pulled her back under the sheets, close to his body.

'Seulgi, don't go.' Taeyong's raspy voice sounded, his eyes struggling to open. Seulgi huffed out. It was like last night all over again; Taeyong pleading her to come with her. 'Seulgi don't fall for it.' Seulgi thought before she struggled to get out of his grip but he only tried to pull her closer.

Seulgi struggled as she tried to shake him off. She was tired and he only gave more difficulty in leaving. At the back of her mind, she wondered how he could be this strong when he's barely awake. Her struggling only irritated Taeyong. He finally opened his eyes and looked at her. Deep down, she knew she didn't want to leave.

'Kang Seulgi.' Taeyong said lowly and flipped her around to face him and Seulgi froze. 'I dare you to look into my eyes and tell me you want leave right now.'

Taeyong's black eyes pierced into hers as Taeyong waited for her reply. Seulgi could feel his eyes reading her truest emotions and she knew Taeyong could read her emotions. She couldn't tell him that she wanted to leave; the truth was the complete opposite. Seulgi breathed out in defeat and closed her eyes before opening them, only to face those pair of eyes again.

This time, his eyes bore a sense of longing for her and Taeyong pulled her closer to him, his arm wrapping around her waist and he resumed his sleep. Seulgi only looked at his face intently.

He dyed his hair white from brown and his face lost weight, but other than that, this was the same man who took her heart. He was almost no different from how Seulgi analysed herself in the mirror. Seulgi's bleached blonde hair was previously dark brown and she too had lost weight - those were the physical expressions of their heartbreak

 Taeyong opened his eyes again, aware that she hadn't fallen asleep. 'Sleep, Seulie.' Taeyong's low voice reached her ears as he pulled Seulgi close and pecked her forehead. It felt so soothing for Seulgi that she ditched the storm of thoughts and felt back asleep in his embrace. For Taeyong, this was the soundest he'd ever slept since that night.

Seulgi opened her eyes again, but this time, Seulgi could clearly see the white paint of the walls and sunlight pouring through the window. The sun had fully risen and Seulgi looked beside her only to find a pillow. Seulgi sat up and grabbed her halter top from the floor and threw it on. As she descended down the stairs, she could hear sounds from the kitchen and she peeked her head out.

She saw Taeyong by the stove with a frying slice in his hand and the other gripping the handle of a frying pan. Seulgi admired his form afar beofre she turned and wandered around the house again.

'Nothing really changed...' Seulgi thought as she saw how the house was kept the same. She entered his work space and continued to observe the place. Seulgi's eyes stopped at a photo frame on the table. It was kept facing down and Seulgi carefully lifted it up, revealing a candid photo of them.

She admired the photo adoringly, remembering every detail related to the photo. 'Jaehyun took this for us when we were on a double date...'

Seulgi's smile faded and her hands fell slowly as doubts filled her head.

'Was it the right thing to be laying by his side last night?'

'Do I still truly love him like I think I do?'

Seulgi stood there as she faced the photo frame back down. She was conflicted; she couldn't decide if she was angry at Taeyong for causing the heartbreak.