On the way back from the dining room, Nayoung spotted Kyulkyung leaning on her bedroom’s door. She looked like she had been waiting for quite some time. Heaving a sigh, she strode to her.

 “Unnie, can we talk for a moment?”

 “...”

 Nayoung intended to refuse but coincidentally came in contact with Kyulkyung’s begging eyes, the refusal in hung back in return.

 Nayoung let Kyulkyung enter her room, it had been a while since they sat down and chatted, maybe simply because they had nothing to chat about.

 “Make it quick, I have homework to do” Nayoung was a bit impatient as she waited for her younger sister to speak. But looking back, Nayoung thought it would be better if she started the conversation, even if Kyulkyung was the one having something to be talked about.

 So cold, it was what Kyulkyung see. She hated Nayoung’s cold attitude. Even until now, she couldn’t find herself getting used to it. It hurts her so bad.

 “I…actually…can you not move out?” Kyulkyung was stuttering, it took her so much to say so little. Kyulkyung thought she was crazy, saying things like this to Nayoung. Kyulkyung could see the obvious frown on her sister’s face, Nayoung must have been annoyed to hear all that. Kyulkyung kept her head down, eyes boring into the floor down her feet while waiting for a reaction.

 After who-knows-how-long, Nayoung slowly spoke up, although it was impossible to get a grasp on what mood she was in.

 “You came just to say that?”

 “I…”

 “I can’t, that’s my answer. You can go back to your room now” Nayoung spoke in one breath, not even noticing the heart-broken look on the girl standing in front of her.

 Kyulkyung could feel her hands trembling, she bit her lips so hard to prevent the tears that was close to pour, held back the aching heart as she stared straight right at Nayoung.

 “Have…have you ever been honest with me…even just by a little?” her insides ached as if screaming please let there be a yes, however…

 “...”

 “I see…” the moment Kyulkyung her heels, a lone tear came streaming down from the corner of her eyes. Nayoung’s silence has given her the answer, the sister Kyulkyung had come to love with all her heart didn’t love her back, not even just one bit.

“...”

 The empty room that was once filled with happy memories tore Kyulkyung in pieces, yet not long after, even the simplest thing as seeing the girl she loved came to be impossible.

 Kyulkyung was like a puppy whose trusted owner had abandoned. She curled up in fear. Why did that girl have to step into her life, why did she have to use the weakest part of her heart to enter it and then just cruelly threw her away with no regret. Ever since Kyulkyung first found out about this wrong feeling she had for her non-related sister, she had not hoped for anything, she just wanted to be with Nayoung. She wanted to love her secretly, that much was enough for Kyulkyung. Was that too much for her to ask? If not, why did fate have to make Kyulkyung fall while immersing Nayoung in hatred.

 Im Nayoung, sometimes I wonder, hurting me like that…does it make you happy? Because if it does, everything is ‘okay’ for me.

Nayoung’s POV

 When I was 6, it was my first time witnessing someone trying to find their way to death. How ironic that it was my very own mother. I stared with a dumb look as the sharp knife found its way slitting her wrist. What’s left of my childhood is the crimson color of my mother’s blood.

 When I was 8, it was my first time meeting the woman that put my mother in her misery. It was my birthday, I was supposed to be cutting cakes and blowing candles like every other children. I was supposed to surrounded by the love of my parents instead of having to watch my mother losing her mind because of how much it pained her.

 When I was 9, I watched with my very own eyes as people took my mother away from me. She had gone crazy again, being not aware of herself and had hurt me in the process. Even the man I called my father took me away from her. Life from then on turned hateful in my eyes.

 I hated my own father, not as much as I hated that woman. They took my childhood away from me, took away the love I was meant to receive. Albeit she treated me nicer than I had thought she would.

 I met you for the first time when I was 9, the day my father brought me to the place he called “the happiest home in all wide world”. This little girl, who was 2 years younger than me, was breathtakingly beautiful. She had her big eyes and a smile as bright as the sun hidden behind her mother’s back, glancing at me with an expectant look. I should have hated you right? But for some reason, I found you so precious, I wanted to protect you.

 Joo Kyulkyung was your name.

 As time went by, I spent years by your side. We were inseparable, like figures and shadows. I had always felt guilty for my mom when I’m with you, because when I am, I just forget all about the hatred I supposedly should have and just genuinely wanted to be with you.

 But as I grew up, I thought more. My heart shattered when I saw my mom out of her mind, lonely all by herself in the chilling hospital ward. I became distant, I became cold to you. I knew I hurt you by doing that but I’m not any different. You said I wasn’t fair to you, but life wasn’t fair from the beginning. If I had met you differently, maybe I would have loved you without worries.

 I can feel it every time you’re upset. Seeing you cry, my heart isn’t at peace either. I vividly remember the broken look on you when you found out about that truth. The truth that your mother was the other woman I loathed.

 You think I hated you, I complied and made you think that was true. You like me, I spoke harsh things to make you give up on me, same as I was trying to make myself give up on you. You broke down, I knew exactly what you’re going through. Because our feelings are the same.

 I didn’t want to leave you but that was the only way. Only by not being able to see you anymore, my heart then would be at rest. I had to do that before I decided I couldn’t take it anymore and risked everything to be with you.

….