Late that evening

 

Ji Chang Wook drives along the dark road, his headlights flashing past the moonlit countryside. The sad strains of Paul Kim's Rain plays over the radio. It is one of his favorite songs. Back when he first heard it, Chang Wook had been pulled to the lyrics and melancholy. But now the words just draw a picture of aching sadness.

The melody that filled the streets 

The tune we used to sing along to 

Where did you go 

The sun shines so bright 

You shined so bright 

And kept me dry from the rain 

You were my sunshine 

The sunshine I let go 

Good bye 

He was not ready to say goodbye.

He glances at his passenger as she sits unusually silent next to him. Perhaps she's fallen asleep. It had been a long day after all. Images of her linger in his mind; her laughter as she sat on top of the scooter; that cheeky smile with the carrots; and her soft gaze as they held each other close on the beach.

Her face had been lit then by the glowing embers of the bonfire and if there was ever a more beautiful sight he could never imagine it. Even the brilliant flush of the setting sun and the stars in the heavens above could not have caught his gaze like she could. He knew that image of her would stay with him.

The day had not been long enough.

He glances again at JiHyun but she was still turned towards the window, unmoving.  They were on their way to her Aunt's house where he would drop her off and then face what tomorrow meant. First thing in the morning he would be back on a plane heading to Seoul. His Omma would be waiting and so would the countdown of days until he enlisted and became Soldier Ji. 

A soft sound next to him makes him turn. He glimpses a small movement from the corner of his eyes. Perhaps she wasn't asleep.

"JiHyun-ah...?"

She doesn't answer. Her face is still turned away from him, and just as he starts doubting whether she was awake, he notices her shoulders shake a little. Was she crying?

F-ck...


-----

Nam Ji Hyun's heart grew heavier and heavier the further they drove through the darkness. The long day had tired her out, but even so she wanted it to last forever. She didn't want moody songs that sang of goodbyes, or to think of a tomorrow where he could not be here with her.

Why was it so hard? She had promised herself to be brave like him. To enjoy every moment. What was the use of crying anyway? Tears were useless. Stupid.

As she thinks this a single drop falls from her eye running down her cheeks to mock her. 

She wants to angily wipe it away, but she is afraid he would notice. That one tear is followed by another, and soon all the sorrow in her heart threatens to flow out. She sits there silently letting the tears fall as she stares out the window, praying he wouldn't notice.

"JiHyun-ah..." his deep voice breaks the silence between them. And just that one word fractures what control she has and the tears spill out harder until she is crying quietly into her hands, trying to hold back her sobs.

Before she knows it strong arms are wrapped around her. He must have pulled over and stopped the car for she is being held tight in his comforting arms. JiHyun lets out all her fears and anguish as those hands try to soothe and pat her until finally it feels like the tears will not come anymore. 

She pulls away wiping her face and laughs half-embarassed, half-despairing.

"I'm sorry for crying," she takes a deep shuddering breath and looks away.

"JiHyun..." a hand gently holds her face turning her towards him. She notices then that there were glimmers in his eyes too, and it causes her heart to break even more. She reaches out, one hand gently cupping his face.

"We're going to be ok, right?" she whispers fiercely, "You will do well and come back to me?"

"Of course," he nods gravely.

"And you promise you'll take care?  Make sure to stay warm? And don't do anything crazy like try to disarm a nuclear bomb?"

"I only do that in movies,"  he jokes, though his eyes are still gazing solemnly at her.

She smiles anyway through her tears.

"I'm going to miss you," her voice breaks a little and he pulls her right back into his arms.

"It's going to be ok, sweetheart. I'll be back before you know it. I'll call every chance I get." He knew it would be weeks before that was possible, but he'd make it happen. His friends had warned him that most relationships fail because of the distance and the impossibility when the man goes to the military. He'd be lying if he said he wasn't worried at all. 

He pulls away a little to look at her, "It's me who should be worried, with all your guy friends." he pretends to give her a stern look " Jagiya, don't cheat on me," he says, half-teasingly glaring at her.

At this, JiHyun starts to laugh, because she had never been interested in anyone before him. Not even close. Then, noticing his serious gaze, she kisses him quickly and holds him tight.

"Oppa, I'll wait for you. I promise. I'll come visit the first chance they let me. After all, how can I say no when you've already asked me on National TV?"

Her reminder makes him smile slightly abashed. He knows he had been a bit reckless in his recent interviews; but when they had asked who would come visit him first, his JiHyun-yang-ie had been foremost on his mind.  She had messaged him later t-easing him about it.

[hyunihyuniiii_917] I'm very sure someone told me not to come the other day

[EmperorJi87] That's right, Oppa will be fine even if no one visits ::pout emoji::

[hyunihyuniiii_917] Oh, is that so? What's this then?

[hyunihyuniiii_917] ::inserts cut of his MBC interview "if she does comes I will be very grateful"::

[EmperorJi87] ::puppy face emoji::

[hyunihyuniiii_917] I'm coming, of course ::kiss emoji::. Who can say no to your aegyo face? Besides, your Omma already invited me~

He had laughed at that; happy at the thought of something to look forward to. It would be at least 5 weeks after his enlistment before a short visit was even possible, but he would hold onto her promise.

For now though he had this beautiful woman in his arms and he wanted to wipe away all the sadness in her eyes.

"JiHyun-ah, have I ever told you the 101 reasons why I love you?"

"Are you going to sing your song?" she t-eases, "Should I also expect a proposal to go with it?" she references their TV show but then, realizing her words, she blushes a little.

Chang Wook looks at her knowingly, "Shall I ask you to marry me now?" He grins even wider at her flustered face. 

"Sweetheart," this accompanied by a quick kiss on her head, "when I ask you to marry me, it would not be in a dark car in the middle of nowhere." He looks her solemnly in the eye, stating without words that this was a promise too, for that one day in the future.

"And, as I was saying, before someone interrupted me, I have a 101 reasons to love you." He holds her hands in his.

"Number one, your beautiful smile, it's the first thing I loved about you. Number two and three, your beautiful eyes; number four through, er, thirteen your beautiful fingers." he had to do a little bit of mental math on that.

"I didn't realize each finger was a separate reason," she smiles.

"Of course. See." he lifts her hands and gently kisses each finger. "Each one has the power to undo me." 

"Then are my toes, reason fourteen through twenty-three?"

"Smart girl. Shall I kiss those too?" she blushes even more at this and he laughs.

"Number, where were we? Right, twenty four and twenty-five. Your lips"

"I think you already said that."

"No, I said smile. But your lips, your lips themselves are an entire universe of reasons." He leans closer, his eyes locked on the lips in question.

JiHyun forgets to breathe as his intent gaze comes slowly closer. The first touch of his lips on hers shoots tiny shivers of wonder down her spine and she sinks into the kiss, memorizing the warmth and feel of it. His breath on hers, his arms wrapped around her.

She doesn't want it to end but Chang Wook-oppa is apparently being the reasonable one tonight. He leaves her one last lingering kiss then pulls away.

He shifts the car back into gear and before long they are back on the road and almost to their destination. 

He makes her promise to come see him again next week. It will be hard to have date outings or dinners so close to his enlistment. Chang Wook is deathly afraid that if a scandal should break, JiHyun will be left to fend for herself while he would be stuck with no option to protect her from the media or the public. But he would find a way for them to meet either at his place or somewhere away from prying cameras and eyes.

Today, was their one perfect day. Tomorrow they would do their best and make it as perfect as could be.

Soon, he pulls up in front of a pretty cottage not too far from the shore where JiHyun stayed with her Aunt. He comes around to open the door for her and help her out.

For a few minutes they just stand there in the front yard, her hands clasped in his; wordlessly saying one last farewell. After all it seemed that everything that could be said had been said.

Perhaps not quite everything.

"Goodbye, Oppa.... I love you" she whispers.

"I love you, JiHyun. But it's not goodbye. It's never goodbye..."

He knows her Aunt may have heard the car pulling up and could be watching but he can't help himself. He pulls her closer for one last soft kiss.

"Good night" he whispers against her lips, "Sweet dreams, Jagiya," he can feel her smile at this and that is his last sight of her. Her beautiful smile, her soft gaze before she turns and walks through the door.

It seems a while before his legs take him back to the car and he barely notices the distance as he drives back. In his mind all he sees is that smile and that girl and the glow of the memories that will keep him warm in the long months ahead. It wasn't until much later he realized he never did get to reasons twenty-six through 101. 

----

Paul Kim - 비 (Rain)