Chapter 4 / Lurking Exes
Changsub's POV

My whole system was awakened.

When did I get a girlfriend?

I blinked twice, staring at Park Chorong beside me. I can't believe what she's doing.

She extended her hand with a smile to Naeun and Ilhoon, then she shook hands with them. "It's nice to meet you, but we should be going after this. Changsub's not feeling well but he wanted to wish me luck for my important appointment so here he is."

"Oh," Naeun muttered, too shocked. "It would have been nice to share a table." She said once she recovered. "But if he's not feeling well, then you should hurry."

Chorong hooked her arm with mine. I almost flinched. "Yeah, I'm so sorry. Cheesecake is my favourite and he said it might boost up my confidence if I eat one before the appointment." She said with a wide, lovely smile.

"That's so... sweet!" Naeun said, too high-pitched.

Whatever Chorong is doing, it is working.

"Then, we'll be going to our table." Chorong said.

"Oh, yeah, sure... enjoy!"

I bowed, bending my head just a little as we go to show that I'm alright even though it was one of the most difficult things to do in my life. As I did, I noticed Naeun's hand. She's wearing a different ring. My face twitched in pain but I didn't look at her again.

As we settled to our table earlier, I sipped a huge amount of Iced Americano, staring at Chorong who's now devouring her cheesecake quickly.

"What?" She asked later.

"Don't eat like that."

She frowned. "We have to leave asap."

I sipped more coffee. I want it to kick in so I could really, fully be awake, so I could confirm that this is not a nightmare.

When Chorong finished, we brought our coffee outside when we left the shop, neither of us looked back.

"Why did you do that?" I asked. We're now crossing the pedestrian line.

"Because you malfunctioned." She replied, not looking at me.

"What?"

She groaned. The stoplight became red as we reached the other side of the road. "Becauseㅡ" She paused and sighed. "Because you didn't see your face in front of them. I did."

"You didn't have to do that." I said in a cold voice.

She clenched her jaw. "I know. I don't know why I did itㅡbut maybe I wouldn't have, if you didn't look stupid in front of your ex-fiancé and her current fiancé."

I looked at her sharply. "You don't know anythingㅡ"

"Oh, I do, a little. That important ring you were looking for was your engagement ring with her, but now she has another man and you're still hang up over her. You know what? I don't care if you still are, but don't make yourself look like a fool. She's happy. Don't show her how miserable you are because you won't get her back that way." She said and walked away.

I stayed where I was because I couldn't move as her words sank in my head. That was the very first time that someone told me the truth so boldly. Maybe because she doesn't know me, or she doesn't know how painful it is for meㅡbut her words, not the coffee, were like a slap that awoke me completely.

#

Chorong's POV

I don't know why I'm upset.
I'm probably just going to look for other singers. So what if Lee Changsub sings like an angel? So what if his voice is only one of the voices that moved me?

I sighed and rubbed my temple. I took off my coat because I suddenly felt hot and then I called a taxi to bring me to my next appointment.

The building is still as luxurious as the last time I was here. Six months ago.

I sat at the lobby and waited. Jinyoung told me to wait for him here. And then I realized, I'm waiting for him again and I asked myself who's more pathetic between me and Changsub.

Minutes have passed and I wanted to leave the place. My heart and my mind aren't feeling well. I wanted to go home and lie on my bed for the rest of the day and feel nothing.

But Jinyoung came. He was talking to other businessmen. He's wearing a suit and he looked as handsome as ever, especially when he looked at me and smiled. My heart jumped a little and I had to remind myself not to feel that way. I can't feel that way.

"Chorong-ah!" He called brightly.

This is the problem when you broke up in a good wayㅡyou have to smile when you see him as if everything's fine.

I smiled just a little. "Hi," I greeted meekly as he approached.

I feel suffocated by this dress, by this place, by him.

"I'm so relieved you came! I made a new song and I want you to hear it. I wanna know what you think." He said.

He always ran to me first when he completes a new song. I wanted to tell him it's different now, but all I did was smile. It was almost too hard to do so.

"How long has it been since you completed one?" I asked as we walked to his studio room.

"A long time." He replied with a faint smile. "I was uninspired." He added.

I wish he didn't say that because now I am left to think it could be because of me.

I nodded.

"And I need your help." He said.

I chuckled. "You seriously don't. You're one of the best out there. I'm just an amateur."

"Hey! Don't say that. I loved the songs you wrote." He said and I don't know if he said that because he didn't realize the songs were for him, or he's just trying to make me feel better.

He the computer. I looked around and wished I didn't doll myself up. When we were still together, I always had to dress up because Jinyoung and his family and his status made me want toㅡbecause that way, I felt like we were possible. We were almost the same.

But we weren't.

"By the way, I heard the song you wrote for Apink. It was really nice."

To Us.
I wrote this for him too. I wondered if he realized that while listening to the song. Surely, he couldn't be that dense.

He busied himself in the computer and I sat on the couch behind him. The studio is so familiar, yet it makes me feel strange.

"I've been working on this song," he said. "If you approve it, I'll have more confidence to release it."

Why? I wanted to ask but the music has started and the lyrics flew out of the speakers, and I heard his beautiful voice once again.

I say, I'll say it again
I think our relationship ends here
You say, 'you'll definitely meet a good person'
I guess our love was more shallow than I thought

We split like this,
We split the cracks,
Your back turned around
I look pretty miserable don't I?

I clenched my fists, glad that he wasn't looking at me and then I thoughtㅡNO, NO, NO... DON'T GO THERE. But the song was unstoppable.

The chorus came and my heart ached.

The words that I said were all a lie
Telling you to leave was a lie, a lie, a lie
The words that I said were a lie
Please don't go, it's all a lie (a lie)
They're all lies

I convinced myself this song isn't about me because if it is, why would he call me personally to listen to it and ask my opinion about it?
But the possibility that he wrote this for me angers me.

The words that only give scars pile up then I turn around,
Tomorrow I'll live like there's nothing wrong again but,
You and I are fated
It's not easy to break
Can we go back once again
To just how we were before?

I couldn't hear the rest of the song anymore because I was more focused on not crying. The most important thing right now is that I don't cry because he is happy, and I don't want to look miserable.

When it ended, I curved a smile on my lips and wondered if he could tell that I was faking it.

He ran his hand through his perfect hair and he actually looked a little nervous.

"It's amazing." I said, finding my voice surprisingly stable and normal. "As always. Your songs are amazing."

He broke into a smile. I wanted to cry. "Thank you. That's enough for me."

We looked into each other's eyes for a moment and the challenge not to cry is getting more difficult.

I cleared my throat and tried to smile again. "So, when is the release?" I asked. I can't imagine my face anymore.

He turned his swivel chair to the computer and turned it off. "I don't know yet. I'll set the date later when I find a suitable singer for it."

We walked out of his studio.

"Let's grab a coffee before you go." He said.

I shook my head, still smiling. "No, I'm fine. I just had coffee before I came here."

He nodded. "Alright. Lunch?"

I shook my head again. "I'm not hungry either. I had cheesecake."

He nodded again. It's becoming awkward. "So how are you doing? Are your songs OK? I mean, found a singer yet?" He asked.

Changsub came back into my mind. I wonder if he went home already. I hope he didn't do anything stupid like telling his ex, I lied. I would strangle him. "Chorong?" Jinyoung called.

"Oh," I said, coming back to him. "YeahㅡI found him. He has this beautiful, kinda husky voice."

"He?" He asked, warily.

"Yeah, I knew him through my karaoke shop." I explained and then I said, "Hey, I guess I should go. You must be busy. I need to drop by mom."

He smiled and nodded. "Thanks for coming, and take care."

I nodded back. "You, too."

As I turned my back on him, I was relieved to finally let my smile fade. "Chorong?" He called.

"Yeah?" I asked without turning back.

"We're OK, right?"

No. "Yeah, of course!" This time I turned to him with a smile. "See you around." I added to sound sincere.

He smiled in relief. "Alright."

#

When I got back to the shop, Bomi was going through the customer records and for some reason, she has this very serious look on her face.

I felt tired so I let myself collapsed on the waiting couch.

"You're back!" She exclaimed, startled.

I nodded. "How's the shop?"

"All rooms are occupied." She said.

"Good."

And then she stared at the customer records again. "May I ask something?" She asked.

"Sure." I said, putting my bag aside.

"Lee Changsub," She said and my head shot up. I looked at her. "When did he come here?" She asked.

"About three days ago, I think. Why? Do you know him?"

She nodded with a happy smile but her eyes filled with warning tears. I was alarmed. "Are you alright?" I asked.

"I'm sorry," she said. "I'm just happy."

And when I didn't say anything, she looked at me and explained. "He's my brother and he told me he doesn't want to sing anymore, or do anything with musicㅡbut if he came here three days ago to sing, then I haven't lost him completely."

My jaw dropped with the sudden information, then I closed my mouth and gave this girl a hug. I pat her back and said, "He has a nice sister, after all."

She pulled away slowly. "You know my brother?"

I shook my head. "Not really, but I'm trying to get him into music. He told me doesn't like it. I knew he was lying."

Bomi's eyes shone. "Ohmygosh!" She exclaimed and then she held my hands in excitement. "Please, please convince him. Music was his life."

#

[A/N] The song is A Lie by B1A4, and yes, you can imagine Jinyoung of B1A4 as Chorong's ex in this fanfic. Hahaha



[!] Chorong originally wrote 'To Us' for Apink members~

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