“Because of the endless schedule
It’s not easy to see your face
Me inside the TV, you watching me on TV
That’s how we date”
 

“Thanks for the hard work.”

The VIXX members chorused and greeted their seniors once the rehearsals ended.

It was the first Friday of December which was also the live filming for Music Bank. Voodoo Doll was nominated for first place alongside Hyorin’s One Way Love. Debuted only a year ago, they were finally readied and prepared for their first full length album with 9 new tracks and 4 titles tracks from the previous album.

From the concept of superheroes, VIXX arcade, vampires, and to Jekyll and Hyde, they were named the concept-dols. Challenging different concepts were the stepping stones for the team’s growth. The boys practiced restlessly day and night in hopes to present another spectacular performance for their fans, Starlight.

N was no exception. The effort he put in was far more incomparable to his brothers. As the leader of VIXX and for Saetbyul, he knew he shouldn’t be wasting his time for leisure and fall behind. Hence, he was always the last to step out of the company.

The VIXX members went back to their waiting room after the rehearsals for the final preparation.

“It felt so real. I thought my heart was going to explode.” said Ravi. Though it was just a rehearsal, it was indisputable that the members wanted this win badly.

Ravi plopped onto the couch and eventually fell asleep from the unceasing schedule. Hyuk and Ken had to touch up their almost smeared make up from the sweat they accumulated during rehearsals while Leo and Hongbin went promoting to their seniors with stacks of albums in their hands.

N smiled watching his brothers but it belied his preoccupied mind. He took out his smartphone and texted, You’ll watch us, right? We’re nominated for first place this week.

 

“Should I quit?
When I think about you, I keep getting weak”

 

Saetbyul’s notification tone beeped. She fumbled about underneath her blanket to search for her phone. “Where is it?” she muttered as she knew it was left somewhere on her bed.

“What are you looking for, my dear.” Her nurse therapist, Mrs Lee who was skimming through her medical report by her hospital cot, asked.

“Didn’t you hear my phone beeping?” she questioned fervently instead of answering. She didn’t want him to agonize over her late reply since life was already stressful as an idol.

“Ah, your phone?”

Saetbyul nodded.

“I left it charged on the cupboard. You fell asleep last night not knowing the battery died. Hold on, I’ll get it for you.”

Mrs Lee placed the report back to where it belonged and walked towards the socket where the smartphone was charging. “Cha Hak Yeon? Who is he?” she asked, handing it over back to its owner and was replied with the latter nervous titter. “Just a friend.”

The nurse therapist left her ward with a bored expression after failing to pry for more.

Saetbyul unlocked her phone and read the message, You’ll watch us, right? We’re nominated for first place today.

Of course. Oppa, fighting! She replied.

N let out a sigh of relief upon receiving her reply message. He became sub-paranoid especially on that eventful day. He was afraid to lose her like the last time.

 

“Who will be the winner of the first week of December 2013’s K Chart?” MC Park Seo Jun professionally led the ending. “Hyorin and VIXX, who will take home the trophy today? Let’s take a look at the tabulation of the marks.”

Saetbyul clutched on the remote tightly, not letting it go. She was proud of the boys especially N. The expression he had was rather uncanny. She wondered what went through his mind at that moment.

“Digital music charts, viewer’s choice charts, broadcast rating and album sales. Who will be the one with the higher total points?” the MC continued with the charts being added on screen.

“VIXX, VIXX, VIXX, VIXX.” She found herself chanting with her eyes closed as the scores were being added.

“Ne! VIXX-imnida!” MC Bora announced. “Please share your thoughts with us.”

The members left astounded with different emotions. Their body rippled with relief as they finally took a breather from that fleeting nerve wrecking moment.

Like the fans that went to cheer for them, Saetbyul cheered in front of the TV and chuckled at the members’ reaction.

This award meant a lot to them. It was incredulous and unexpected to win over such amazing sunbae.

Tears began to glisten in N’s eyes and he was filled with all sorts of emotions and brief memories. His stifled sobs faded into occasional hitch breath as he grabbed over the mic from Bora.

“Our…Our Starlight, you have all waited for a long time, right? Sorry for the long wait and also thank you very much. To our CEO, Y.Bird, manager hyungs, thank you so much. We will continue to be VIXX that is more hardworking in the future, therefore please anticipate from us. Finally to our parents and families, we love you.”

The speech he gave had the moments they shared impinged on her. It wasn’t a speech. It was a message to her. It was sincere but hurtful at the same time. Saetbyul felt relatively emotional from his message. The message that only they can relate to.

Her face showered with tears. “I’m sorry.” She sniffled. In fact, she cried so hard that her heartrate increased and the nurse had to give her a shot to alleviate it.

 

“Because of all the cameras, because of my manager
I kept pushing back our dates
When my music succeeds, when everything goes well
I will give you all the love I couldn’t give you now”

 

VIXX was the last to leave KBS building after the encore stage. N as usual at the front seat was immersed in his own train of thoughts.

 

“As much as I love you, music is so important to me too so I can’t help it
After some time passes, after I become a bit more famous
I will reveal you to the world”
 

Now that VIXX is considered as one of the leading Halyu stars, with their successful music, he wanted to hold her hands confidently, reveal the world to her, he wanted to do everything for her and give her everything he couldn’t have.

He couldn’t wait to see her.

 

“My…My one and only Saetbyul. I know you have waited for this day. I’m sorry to keep you waiting and thank you for not leaving my side. I will be the Cha Hak Yeon that you always wanted me to be. Please wait a little while.”

 

“I’ll do everything for you, I’ll give you everything”
 

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