Love. What a word it is, isn’t it?

It’s so simple to utter the words, throw it left and right like it was nothing more than the rocks on our feet. Worthless enough to easily give away. But, when spoken by a certain person, the word takes on a whole different feeling, a whole different meaning and receives a whole different reaction. For so long, I have only ever truly loved one, freely used the words to only one, and felt the words resonate within me when uttered by the one.

I crouch to pick a few of the bright yellow daisies by my feet, carefully gathering them along the bunch of flowers I had bought on my way. A common flower, practically a weed, I never understood why she liked that out of all the variety of flowers.

‘A common flower for a common girl.’ She had once said as she laid a handful of them by her baby cousin’s grave. It was such a pitiful sight, I hadn’t the heart to even look for more than a few seconds.

I had gone off to gather the most brilliant coloured flowers I could find on that same day, careful not to be caught in someone else’s plot of land. The expression on her face the moment I led her back to, what I remembered to be, the lousiest attempt at decorating a grave had never left my mind. At first, I thought I had offended her with the way she sunk to her knees, hands covering with silent tears streaming down her cheeks. I was never good at making things look pretty. It was during a flurry of apologies that she flung herself at me, clutching the back of my shirt and wetting my shoulder, thanking me over and over.

After all that, she still liked the damned weed. A common flower for a common girl.

She never looked common to me. Those flowers never did her justice, not to her looks and definitely not to her personality. She was anything but common.

At least to me she wasn’t. She was my world, my home, my woman.

It was close to daybreak when the master and I clambered down the stairs to our quaint hideaway. The master doesn’t even spare me a glance as he sheds his coat, haphazardly draping it over his work chair, and kicked his boots off by the side of his bed. He makes a soft grunting as he eases into his bed, slipping under the covers like he had just not saved me from being dragged to the afterlife against my will.

With myself being completely useless- half dead for the rest of the evening- it did not hinder the master’s secondary work. He doesn’t force me to do anything and leaves me to watch him at work. I don’t dare stray too far away from him, following after him like a limp, useless tail.

The cat doesn’t make its reappearance, maybe it has hidden away at a vantage point where we couldn’t see it but it could see us. Whatever the case I was both glad and wary. Every sound after coming face to face with the shadowy creature had rendered me a whimpering mess, skittering at every creak and thump. Multiple times I had thought I saw its massive shadow shifting through my peripherals, disappearing whenever I turn to properly look at it. I looked and acted like a fool, but better a fool alive than one dead.

I don’t know how long I stood there, staring at the master as he twisted and turned to find a comfortable sleeping position. When I do come to my senses I decided it best for the rest of my numb body that I huddle by the low fire. As worn out as I felt I couldn’t simply slip back into bed. The creature is still at the forefront of my thoughts, the fear instilled in me makes me hyper vigilant of the space around me. I don’t think I’ll be able to sleep for the rest of the early morning. So I prod the fire back to life, the growing embers somehow easing my anxiety bit by bit.

I’d say it was sometime after daybreak when I felt at ease, not completely but enough not to cower at every movement. When a pair of arms circle around my shoulder and a weight pressed up against my back I don’t flinch from it. Instead, I reach up and caress the skin, tilting my head to the side to let Stephanie rest hers over my shoulder comfortably. I feel her press a morning kiss on my cheek and shiver at the warm breath tickling my ear as she says her morning greeting. I managed to mutter my own before she leaves my side to prepare for the morning.

“Should we go for a market run today?” I take a brief glance at her over my shoulder, careful not to show my apprehension. After last night, I don’t want to leave the hideaway anytime soon. Sitting here and staring at the fire was where I was comfortable at as I try to arrange my thoughts and go through my options. My silence does not deter Stephanie at the very least as she plops down the space beside me, leaning her head against my shoulder.

“We’re out of vegetables. We do have a hefty amount of mushrooms. I think I can whip something up with just that.” My face screws up at the thought of eating just mushrooms and that musky odour I hated. Stephanie definitely knew what to say to get me to agree.

I sigh, exaggeratedly loud, and hang my head in defeat. She giggles, tilting her head to place a kiss on my cheek. A hand follows up and gently brushes away the few strands of hair falling over my face.

Her movement stops and she pulls her head back, reaching with her other hand to pinch the bottom of my chin and forcefully turn my head to face her. I stare right back at her piercing eyes, pretending to be surprised by her sudden act. It was the safest reaction to hide the guilt I knew would show.

“You look terrible. Have you been up all night?” I pry off the hand holding my chin and turn my head away from her scrutiny.

“I was asleep right beside you.” I lie. I know she doesn’t believe me and the next words are tumbling out of my mouth before I can stop myself. “I’ve only woken up a bit earlier than you did. I don’t know what you’re trying to accuse me off.”

I really do not want to lie to her, but I’m still grasping at the evening’s events with my logical side still battling to find reasonable answers to my fantastical, if dreadful, experience.

“You’re a terrible liar.” She deadpans, crossing her arms over her chest as she scowls at me. “Your side of the bed was cold when I woke up. At first, I thought you just woke up earlier than usual, but your red eyes and weary face tell me otherwise.”

I shut my eyes and rub them. They have started to sting from lack of sleep. “I was staring at the fire. Anyway, aren’t we going out?” Pushing off the ground I set off to find a pair of shorts and grab my discarded coat on the way. Apprehension seizes me the moment I start ascending the narrow stairway, my legs feeling heavier and heavier the closer I get to the top. Stephanie goes ahead of me, having no trouble breezing up the stairs and out. She’s dropped her accusation, but I have a feeling she hasn’t completely forgotten it, simply putting it aside so she could properly go over it a later time. For now, she waits for me patiently at the top, doing a little stretching while she basks in the soft morning rays.

The sun had already risen, partially covered by thick, white clouds that spanned as far as the eyes could see. I would have thought it a nice day if only I didn’t feel so drained. I feel horrible. I feel like I want to throw up the contents of my stomach. My eyelids are getting heavier yet my eyeballs feel like they’re pushing out as if straining to pop out of my sockets to finally have a rest. I just want to drop to the ground and pretend that everything was normal. There was not another world that was eerie and dark. That the master and I didn’t wander into town at the dead of the night to collect the leftover essence of the dead. That I was not attacked by a shadowy monster that seemed to want me dead after my refusal to commit to whatever it was the master was ‘training’ me to do.

A sudden dip nearly sends me crashing to my face. I managed to regain my footing after an embarrassing display of wildly swinging my arms around and hopping on one foot. With my mind swimming with the terrifying events from last night, I had accidentally walked straight into a huge pothole.

Stephanie giggled as she wraps her arm around me, resting her head on my shoulder. “Care to share your thoughts? You seem terribly out of it today.”

I sneak a side glance at her. Her smiling face doesn’t give anything away.

“I guess I’m just tired. It was a long day yesterday.” I tell her honestly. It’s as far as the truth that I’ll tell her.

I already have half a mind to send her away, maybe to stay with the nice couple at the bakery. She would be safe there and comfortable. I was beginning to think that it was unsafe to stay with me and the grave master. I know what I saw last night was as real as the air I breathe. I might be doomed to this unfair life, but Stephanie can still be spared.

But at the same time, I don’t think I can bear to part with her. Just thinking about the days of not being able to see her face first thing in the morning, to be separated from her, has my heart twisting in agony. And that cat- that monster, it knows Stephanie. What if it went after her the moment she stepped out of the master’s protection? No, I need her by my side. I need to protect her. I cannot lose her. But will she be safer with me?

We make good time getting to the market, or at least it seemed like that to me. I wasn’t exactly all there as I was too busy weighing the options between keeping Stephanie close to me or send her away to ensure her safety from that beast. My mind was too conflicted but I trusted Stephanie to keep me by her side. I know she hates being around crowded places. I did take note of how vastly different the town looked between morning and the dead of night and took a good long look of admiration for the life the people gave this town.

“Stephanie, my dear!” I felt the sudden tug on my arm, hurrying me along. “Oh, and Taeyeon! Marvellous to see you two again.” The baker’s wife jovially came right around the front, spreading her arms wide to gather Stephanie into her embrace. I tried to dodge it, but the baker’s wife was quick enough to catch my wrist and pull me in after Stephanie.

I pat her back awkwardly. “Nice to see you too, Margaret.” I managed to squeak as Margaret squeezes the air out of my lungs. She pulls back, gripping me by my shoulders and twisting me one way then the other. Her face falls into a concerned frown and she clicks her tongue.

“Look at you. You look like the devil himself came and kept you up all night.” Close, but I don’t think it was quite the devil. Maybe his loyal feline companion that nearly dragged me to the underworld. Of course, I can’t say that. I’ve heard of people committed to the asylum for less than spouting nonsense about the devil. Rumour was that it was not a very nice place to regroup one’s self. One way in and no way out. I can’t have that. Not now.

I put on a strained smile. “Had some trouble staying asleep.” A slip of the tongue, too late to take back. I eyed Stephanie’s reaction, keeping my face from showing my growing nervousness from the hard stare directed at me. My best course of action was to ignore her and keep my sights straight.

“Oh, well you better head on back and get some shut eye. It’s not good for the body to keep going when you’re tired.” Margaret says, cupping my face in her hand as she inspects me some more.

“I’m really-”

“Oh, we plan on doing just that.” Stephanie interrupts me, flashing Margaret her charming smile. “I’ll be sure to keep her in bed after I get something in her stomach.”

Margaret nods her head approvingly. “Atta girl. Now, Taeyeon, you listen to Stephanie and don’t give her grief. She’ll take good care of you.”

“I know she will, Margaret.” I go along.

A thought comes to me and I look around the market place. “By the way, Margaret, did you notice anything last night?”

Her head tilts slightly to the side as she raises her brows in question. “Like what dear?”

“Like… oh.. waking up to loud noises outside?” We haven’t exactly been quiet last night.

Margaret takes on a contemplative look, her eyes unfocused as she stares into space. “No… I don’t believe so. I slept the night away and I am a light sleeper. It was a quiet night, thankfully.” Her eyes fall back on us and she gives us a small smile. “I am afraid that the fighting is getting a little too close for comfort so I’ve been having a little trouble lying to rest at night.”

“Right. Yes, the war.” Was that why the master wanted to teach me now? Because the casualties would be piling up? Would there even be graves to rest the fallen in the middle of the entire quandary of this war? What of the fallen enemies? Could I even differentiate our countrymen from the rest? Would it even matter? The dead are no longer of our plane after all.

“Why do you ask?” Margaret frowns as she leans closer. Her eyebrows draw together, deepening the lines on her forehead and making her look way older than she is. “Is that the reason for the bags under your eyes?”

“I-I-It-It was... I-uh… something woke me up.” My eyes dart to Stephanie’s expressionless face, swallowing thickly as I prepare another cover up of the truth. “I-It’s not something to worry about. I went around last night. I don’t see any signs of the battle creeping over our town. I’m sorry to have worried you.” I run a hand through my hair, repressing a grimace from the greasy feeling sticking to my palm. I needed a good and proper wash.

“Oh, you dear thing. Enough of this talks of war.” She puts her hands over my shoulders and suddenly pulls me in for another bone crushing hug. She pushes me back an arm’s length away, giving me that motherly smile. “You go home early and get some rest. Stephanie dear, you make sure she doesn’t go anywhere except her bed.”

“Of course, Margaret.” Stephanie smiles coyly and slips her arms around my shoulder. I feel her nails dig into the fabric of my shirt and control myself from showing a grimace. “Come, Taeyeon, we still need to shop for food. I’ll cook you some healthy greens and we can have some of those magnificent savoury pies.”

“Oh! Wonderful idea, Stephanie! I’ll go grab some for you two!” Margaret quickly skitters back into the shop, prattling on about her week. Stephanie keeps her smile as she pulls us forward, her hand slipping down to my wrist, tightening to the point that I can barely feel the tips of my fingers.

Her displeasure stays for the rest of our time buying our supplies, so does the tight grip around my wrist. The town’s folks only glance at me long enough to see my haggard face before sending me a quick look of polite understanding, bidding their goodbyes when Stephanie cuts their conversation off. Before I know it Stephanie was already sifting through the bag at my side, ticking off the items under her breath. She doesn’t even glance at my face as she takes my hand and pulls me after her, her face devoid of the usual smile she had on.

“Steph… love, are you angry?” I tug at our hands to catch her attention but still keep pace with her.

She passes me a quick glance- or was it a glare- and sighs as we slow to a stop just right at the edge of town. She runs a hand through her hair, I see her lips moving but I don’t hear even the faintest of whisper despite the muted murmuring from further in town.

“Stephanie?” I try again, my voice softer than before. I take a step closer towards her, tilting my head to the side to try and look a little cute. Her eyes fall on me, her lips set in a tight lipped frown. “I’m sorry?”

“Why did you lie to me?” I wince at the sharp tone, quickly hanging my head in apology. “Why do you insist on keeping up a charade with me? Don’t I deserve the right to know what’s going on with you? I have been nothing but honest with you, and I am thankful that you never pry too much with regards to my past, but I have never lied to you. Why can’t you be just as honest with me? You could have told me you didn’t want to talk about it, I would have accepted that. But why always lie?”

I chew on my lower lip, keeping my eyes trained on the ground. Her grip on my hand tightens as she lets loose a frustrated sigh at my silence.

“I’m sorry.” I squeak back. “I don’t know.. I can’t…” I look up at her, my eyes pleading. I don’t really know what to say right now. I’m still just as confused as I am before and just as afraid of how my thoughts were becoming a lot more convoluted the more I thought about it. But she was right, it was unfair of me to lie to her when she trusted me her heart, her safety.

I in a breath, hear it quiver as tears began to prick at my eyes. The grip on my hand instantly loosens. I in another breath, this time accompanied by the sound of a runny nose as my tears fall down the instant I blink. “I am s-so confused. And I-m just s-so… tired. I don’t k-k-now wh-at to think of anymore.” I sniffle, running the back of my hand under my runny nose.

“Oh, Taeyeon..” She wraps her arms around me and I don’t hesitate in burying my face on the crook of her neck, my arms flying around her back and pulling her as close to me as I can manage. The pain in my chest eases somewhat as the loud thoughts in my mind ebbed away save for the one of how I loved being tucked into her embrace. The shuddering of my breath persists, but Stephanie’s gentle patting on my back has calmed me back down. If time would just still and let me cherish this moment with her.

“Alright there?” A voice breaks our tender moment. Stephanie pushes me back a little, brushing her fingers under my eyes to dry my leftover tears. Thankfully, she keeps her back to the man, keeping my state hidden from his view.

“We’re alright, just.. just had a little hiccup.” She tells the man as she fixes up my hair while I gather myself. I can’t let anyone see me as a weak little thing. It’s unbecoming, and would more than likely turn me into a prey for the male population. We all know the only reason they do not approach me is that I do not act like the young girls they are used to. That I am a cursed girl, and a cursed girl would never show how vulnerable she really is.

“We’re fine.” I find my voice. Strong and clipped. “Nearly fell is all.” I step out from Stephanie’s blocking, my expression back to its blank state as I stare down the young man in uniform. His eyes widen in surprise before her coughs and regain his composure.

“Oh, m-miss Taeyeon.” He stutters. I see Stephanie grinning broadly at his slip up but she keeps her back to him to hide this.

“Nothing to be concerned about Sir…” I pause. Now that I have a good look at him I can’t place a name to his face. In a town as small as this, I was sure I had known every person alive and dead. The dark hair, gaunt face, lean body, pale skin, and the small eyes indicated he was not native to this place. I would know, only two others do not look like the rest of the town’s folks, and here we congregate.

“Jiyong Kwon. Constable Kwon.. Jiyong.” I share a brief look with the amused Stephanie. Seems Constable Kwon was new to the job.

“Constable… Kwon” I nod my head at him. The name sounds rather foreign. Nothing of which I have heard of so far. His given one though rings almost similar to my own, but my poor knowledge of the world outside of this town does not give my thought any more validity than the stories in children’s books. “I’m sorry, I don’t recall ever seeing you in this town before.”

“Ah. I’m not. Or rather, I’m new here. I came from a few towns over. You don’t know me but.. um, a family friend.. she’s buried in the graveyard a few years back. I was present on her burial day, the only one from my side of the family. You… you were the girl who… erm…” he trails off unsurely.

“Oh.." I look to the guy apologetically "I’m sorry, I.. seem to have brought up unnecessary awkwardness for us.”

“No. No, it was..” he coughed. “My apologies. I’m taking up your time. Are you heading back to the graveyard?”

“We are.” I feel Stephanie move up behind me, impatiently tugging at the hem of my shirt. Her hand then runs down, slipping to hold my hand. “If you’ll excuse us.”

“I’ll walk you there.” I stop mid-turn, giving constable Kwon a surprised look. Never in my life had anyone offer to walk me back to the graveyard, especially not one as young as constable Kwon. I feel Stephanie tug my hand urgently, see her agitatedly looking between the constable and up the road. “I’m- I’m supposed to check the perimeter of the site. I was heading up there too. I thought.. well, I thought it would be good to get to know the citizens I will be protecting.” He smiles sheepishly.

I return a small, uncertain one. “Well, I guess there wouldn’t be any harm to that… constable.”

“Well then, miss Taeyeon and miss…” he looks to Stephanie in question and again I am caught by surprise. It was unusual to come across someone who does not know Stephanie as even some of the traders in the ever changing caravan somehow know her through word of mouth. For someone to know me but not Stephanie was a shocking revelation. I look to Stephanie but she doesn’t seem either surprised or too thrilled of this man’s presence if the blank look on her face would indicate.

“Ah…” I gently give her hand a tug, urging her to introduce herself. She switches her blank gaze from constable Kwon to me. Infuriatingly, I can’t get a read on her face and it was not as if I was a mind reader.

“This is my.. er.. Stephanie. We live and work together.” I tug at her hand, again. Small talks were her forte, not mine. She tightens her hold on me but remains firmly shut. She does make a stiff curtsy before stepping behind me, her other hand coming up to grip at my elbow. Why is she like this now, to a constable no less. He was nothing like David or Morty’s sort, not as far as our conversation would lead me to believe anyway.

“I’m sorry about her. It takes a while for her to warm up to… strange-ers” Men in general really, but the constable didn’t need to know that.

“I don’t know him.” I hear her hiss into my ear. “I don’t trust him.”

“Well, miss Taeyeon, miss Stephanie, if you will, let me you back to your abode?”

“Uh..” I turn to Stephanie, she was back to staring blankly at the constable but her tight grip around me remained. I nod my head, turning my back to the constable and lead the way.

It was a highly uncomfortable trek. I wouldn’t be surprised if I find crescent markings left on my skin from how Stephanie’s nails bit into them. She was tense throughout the walk and I had felt a little guilty of her discomfort, but it wasn’t like I could tell the constable to walk a little further back as he already was. He had kept a good enough distance away, checking the surrounding areas while keeping pace with us. He had kept to himself too, which I was grateful for as I didn’t know how to disperse the tense atmosphere as we already were in. I was too concerned for Stephanie and with my mind beginning to feel light from lack of sleep and the mounting stress I wouldn’t have listened anyway.

When we arrive at the mouth of our hideaway Stephanie seems to have relaxed a little and she hurries me forward turning to properly address the silent constable.

“Well, this is us, constable. I’m sorry if I seem to rush you away, we do appreciate your kindness in escorting us back, but I’m afraid Taeyeon is a little sick today and I really want to put her to rest as quickly as possible.”

“Oh. It-it’s my pleasure. Well.. everything here seems to be alright. I won’t take another second of your time. Miss Taeyeon, I hope you have a quick recovery. I’ll be back before dusk to have one more patrol around the perimeter.” He tips his hat, smiling at the both of us as he backs up and returns to his patrol.

“Well, he seems like a nice guy.” I comment as soon as constable Kwon was out of hearing distance. Stephanie gives me a frown and waves me to descend the stairs. Last thing I want is to topple down the stairs so I hurriedly do as she says.

It’s as I am putting the bag on the kitchen table that she scoffs. “You only say that now. You don’t really know what he’s like.”

“Hey, where is this coming from?” I turn to her and raise both my eyebrows. I’ve got one arm open, inviting her to my embrace which she happily jumps into. Her body instantly melts into mine, her arms wrapping around my waist as she presses a quick peck to my cheek. My heart soars and I can’t help the wide grin stretching my cheeks to the limits. I am a fool for this girl and she knows it, the shining gleam in her eyes tells me so as she grins back just as wide. I can’t get over the fact that her eyes smile along with her when she really means it, and that I’ve only seen them directed at me.

But I mustn’t be so easily distracted. I give her a good squeeze, giving her a quick sniff kiss near the base of her neck before resting my forehead with hers. “Now, stop distracting me and tell me what you find is wrong with the new constable?” I squeeze her tighter when I feel her start squirming to get out. “Ah-ah! You’re not going anywhere until you tell me what’s wrong.”

She huffs, placing her hand on my arm as she leans back somewhat. “Can I not answer this?”

“Sorry to say, I must get one. You heard what he said, he’ll be patrolling the perimeter which means he’ll be around more often. I really don’t want to have any trouble with him. Besides, he doesn’t seem like the rest of the guys. He wasn’t ogling you and he didn’t even know you, which is a first.” I sway us from side to side, nudging her with my head. “Come on. Admit it, he’s alright. You can’t always be right.”

“When did I say I was always right?” She presses the side of her head against mine, hiding the pout I just know was on her lips.

“I’m not saying you say you’re always right… but really, most of the time your first impression seems on the dot. You’re friendly to the people who mean no ill will or harm and you avoid the ones that I know are a bit spiteful and dramatic. It’s like you just know these things in one glance.”

She sighs, shaking her head at my logic. I know she understands what I’m trying to convey. “Alright. There’s nothing wrong with him. I just don’t…” I give her a look. She sighs again, squeezing my arm as she presses her forehead back on mine. “forget it. It’s nothing. He’s alright.”

“That’s my girl.” I lean up and catch her lips with mine in a quick peck. She rolls her eyes and pushes me away, but I see her smiling.

“Alright. Now that that’s settled… We should get going and check on the master. He must’ve been looking for us- urk!” The sudden force pulling my arm catches me by surprise and it takes me a second to reorient my balance. I hold my other hand out, helping me balance on my wobbly knees as I shake away the sudden lightness of my head.

Stephanie has my arm in a tight grip, a frown on her lovely face. “And where do you think you’re going?”

“Uh…” I look at the stairs. “work?”

“Oh, no, you’re not!” she grabs me by the shoulder and directs me towards the bed, ignoring my loud protest. Unfortunately for me, she was a lot stronger and all my attempts to weasel my way around her were quickly stopped. The back of my leg hits the edge of the bed and one forceful shove later my knees buckle under me and my bottom meets the mattress. The jarring of my body shoots a new set of pain in my head. I am a little late in controlling my facial muscles and I see her expression of worry intensify and see her eyes hardening in conviction. “You are resting today.”

“But work!” I try to stand, but her hands on my shoulders anchor me down.

“I don’t see the master leave any notice behind. And if he needs us he can come back and I’ll help.” She puts a finger on my forehead and pushes me back. I swat it away, I wasn’t going to sit still and allow myself to be bossed around like a child.

I scoff. “You’re not even comfortable around him alone.”

She stiffens, crossing her arms over her chest as she runs her tongue against the insides of her cheeks. “I’m sure I can handle a few hours with the master.” She says, but her voice doesn’t hold the same strength she usually has. I know if the master does come she would have trouble being around him for longer than a few minutes, much less an hour.

“I’ll be fine. I just… there- there were just some things going through my mind earlier. I’m fine now.”

“Liar.” She calls me out, her expression pinched. I sigh and press my lips in mild annoyance.

“Look, let’s make a deal. I’ll make you something to eat and you just sit still for a while. Rest a little, Taeyeon, it won’t kill you. If the master comes around then..” she pauses in thought, I tilt my head and raise my brows.  She sees my expression and she rolls her eyes before flinging her arms up in frustration. “Fine, I’ll let you go. But, on the condition that you slow your pace. I don’t want you overexerting yourself and fainting.” She takes the space next to me, gently turning me by the shoulder to face her until my knees bump against hers. She takes a long inhale through her gritted teeth, her dark eyes roaming my face. “Honestly, you look horrible.”

My lips curl into a sneer. “Gee, thanks. Just what I wanted to hear.”

“Oh, hush you.” She gently runs her hand through my hair and down the side of my face. I am not ashamed to admit that the warmth of her hand has me leaning into her touch. The soft pads of her fingers run up to the side of my head and start pressing small circles against my temples. The pressure was just enough to help alleviate the muted yet consistent pounding in my head and I groan my thanks.

After a while she guides my head to the pillow, brushing her lips a few times on my forehead muttering the same old compliments and “I love you”s that never fails to warm my being. It is lulling, her gentle ministrations, and I don’t doubt that she knows what it does to me. And despite my earlier indignation for being treated like a child, I don’t mind this at all. The heavy lids of my eyes finally fall to a close and my hearing buzzes until I hear no more.

“It’s not pronounced that way. It has more of an abrupt stop to it.” The master corrects for what seems like the twentieth time. I look up from the book, my mouth set into a sour expression. The extended afternoon sleep and the warm meal in my belly had done great wonders to my attentiveness and boost in energy, but still, I was having some trouble pronouncing the new words before me. It did not sound like anything close to the accents I overhear from the merchants or the random passers-by. It did not help that I the inscriptions did not look anywhere close to English.

I try again.

Again the master stops me. “Now you’re just saying it wrong.”

I breathe hotly out of my nose. I feel completely stupid, not even able to read one word correctly without referring to the alphabet I had scrawled on the gravel road. I couldn’t even pronounce them right and the more I get interrupted by the master to correct my words the more I felt disheartened. “Why do I even need to learn how to say it? I can understand what it’s saying just fine.”

He pulls the short blade from the half-formed wood. He put it up to eye-level against the soft light of the moon, looking at his carving closely before going back at it with his blade. “It’s better you know in the long run.”

“Again, why?” I return to checking the inscriptions, this language composing of lines and dots I have never seen before. “We wouldn’t be talking to each other in this language, right? I mean, might as well tell everyone that we’re witches and get run out of town”

“You joke so easily.. tell me, how does one even know what language witches speak in?”

“I…” He has a valid point there, but still. “Why would it be better in the long run? I just… I mean, I can understand it easily. And if you’re worried that I won’t be able to do that incantation.. I’m sure I can find a way to memorise it even without the guidance of the book.”

“If you cannot read it, then how do you expect to pronounce the incantation correctly?”

“I don’t know. Listen to it a couple of times? Recite it to you until I get it right.” I offer. “I didn’t know how to read before but I understood and spoke English just fine.”

“Ay, and you spoke even better once you knew how to read.” He responds in a heartbeat. “I told you, I will teach you everything I know. Even if this will take us months.” He looks at me, a faint encouraging smile curving at his lips.

I sigh and return to my feeble attempts at reading. Fortunately, he was patient with me, not even once raising his tone even if he had already corrected me a couple of times. I do try my best, but it’s hard to pick up the way it’s intoned while still struggling to remember the new set of alphabet I now have to memorise. I would occasionally look to the expanse of gravel where I’ve copied the new alphabet from the first page of the book and connect them together to create a word, then a sentence, and finally ending the paragraph. For a second day, I do believe I wasn’t doing that bad. Not much progress, but not bad. But I was getting tired and frustrated.

“Can’t I stop now?”

The master takes a puff from his newly lit stick, lets it dangle from his lips as he blows out the smoke from his slightly parted lips, away from where I was sitting. “Why?”

“Don’t we have work to do?” I ask. We were sitting off to the side of the trail, still far from the town and close to the hideaway. Wherever I look I don’t see anything aside from the few lonesome trees here and there. I guessed that was the whole point, so that nothing would distract me from learning. But staring at the alphabet and inscriptions was only interesting for so long. I don’t expect anyone to study for so long without getting tired of the same thing again and again.

The master seems to think otherwise. “What can you do if you can’t even read off the book?” He looks down at me, his tone a little condescending. I lower my head.

“But.. work is still work. Don’t you need to collect souls today?” I try to persuade him. I didn’t need to make it sound delicate, we both knew that essence of the departed were just souls trapped in our plane. He looks over at me, brows furrowing at my choice of words, or my balls to question his decision, before grunting.

“Your studies are more important.”

“But I’m tired. I can’t retain any more information. I’ve got almost half of the alphabet memorised. If I can just take a break…” I lower my head when my eyes meet his stern ones. I sigh, sights returning to the book and the thin scratch like inscriptions that were hard to read under the faint light of the moon. I knew exactly why we had to leave the hideaway. Stephanie would have served as a good distraction for me, as if the beds weren’t tempting enough. But why couldn’t we go somewhere with a better light source? Or brought an oil lamp at least.

“Get up. We’ve got work to do.” I glance up at him in surprise.

“Really?” I scramble to my knees, disturbing part of the alphabet I had inscribed on the gravel in my haste. I don’t really pay too much attention to it. “We’re really going?” I ask again, wanting to be sure I wasn’t hearing things.

He takes the last puff of his stick and throws it to the gravel path. His looming form pushed off the tree, stepping down the lowered path and headed for the town in his usual silence. I quickly kick up what was left of my writing, part in excitement part in relief before grabbing the rest of my things and hastily catch up to the master’s retreating form.

We take a different route, turning at a fork a few metres before arriving to town, moving quickly down to the vast fields which I had called the farmer’s route. I have never gone down this route before, never found a need to. I’ve only ever seen farmers with their wagons of goods pulling up the road, used to be with a good number of young boys trailing after with sticks as they played Indians and cowboys. With more than hundreds of Acres of land stretching out as far as my eyes could see I wasn’t too keen on taking the journey and risk provoking the master’s anger.

Now, as we traverse the lonely road by passing rows upon rows of field I see just how badly we were faring. Most of the crops had wilted to a sickly brown with the soil looking parched, forming interconnected cracks all around. The reason for the price hikes. With summer approaching fast I can tell that many will struggle if the farms continue like this.

It is as we get to the first farm house that the master slows his gait. He looks to the two story house with a dilapidated roof and dark interior that looked just as barren as the houses in town. Not a small flicker of light, not even a rustle of leaves could be heard, and that send shivers up my spine. It’s unnatural, all of it. I’m beginning to think the places we’ve visited in the night isn’t exactly the same place they are in the morning.

I push the thought aside for the time being, careful to keep close to the master as he moves to go around the side of the house. This time around I make sure to listen closely to the master’s mutterings, following along with the incantation scribbled on the book. I’m pleased to catch a few of the letters and had a little less trouble following along. It is hard, but I do think this is the best shot I have in memorising the incantations. We continue moving around the expanse of the fields, moving from one house to the next. By the third soul, I was following the incantation a step behind the master, skipping some and excitedly reading ahead on others. It was progress.

By the fourth house, the master had settled down to a set of crates, the woods creaking under his weight yet stubbornly held still. He lights another roll and that is my cue to settle down under the light of the moon and brought out my material. Once again, I am guided only by the moonshine. Bringing my coat around me to cover my legs as best as possible I reach to pick out the length of stick I had seen earlier and began writing at the patch of dried soil.

“Is it always like this in the evening?” I ask him after taking a look at the darkened interior from the closest window. I’m reminded of our visit to town, doing my best not to think about the demon cat, I recalled the darkness of the centre. “Back in town.. I thought there would at least be some light coming from the tavern. Don’t merchants usually come and go after dusk?”

“Ay, they do.” He grunts.

“Then, shouldn’t it be wiser for the tavern to keep up a little bit of light? Make it known to weary travellers where they are?” I questioned, recalling Stephanie telling me tales of when she was still with her family. I remember the faint smile as she talked about her travels from town to town, following a set route that all travelling merchants knew off. Of how, despite the darkness, it was easier to pass upon the roads without disrupting other travellers and kept the dehydration to a minimum. How they would sing songs to pass the time and hop from one caravan to the next to chat with the rest of the group.

“You sound well-versed in that subject.” He looks over at me. I can’t clearly see his face, partially hidden in the shadows, but he does sound genuinely impressed.

I grin and nod, copying down the last of the alphabet. “Yes, um.. Stephanie told me.”

“She’s a smart cookie.”

I nod my head, a proud grin on my face. “Yes, she is.”

“You’ve grown attached to her.” His next words have me stiffening. I press my lips together, wondering whether I should tell him. About me and Stephanie. About my worries. He wouldn’t tell me to send her away, I foolishly allow myself to think. He could have done so before. He knows there’s something going on between us.

“I am.” My voice comes out hoarse, my throat tightening in anticipation. I needed to do this. “I- I love her.” My grip on the stick tightens until my knuckles turn white from the force. I’ve stopped writing, waiting for his reaction.

I hear his loud exhalation. Already I’m expecting the worse and was mentally preparing my defence, my reasons, and I’ll even go as far as trying to use this training of this essence collection to broker a deal with him.

“I was afraid of that.” He finally says. The wooden crates creak loudly, almost deafeningly in this unnatural silence, as he shifts. Soon enough, I feel his big hand on my shoulder, closing around it like a vice. My mouth opens to start my argument, but nothing comes out, I’m too seized by my worries and fears coming to life to even utter a sound. I could feel my eyes watering up and my throat tightening a fraction more.

The weight on my shoulder lifts. “I can’t keep her safe, but you can.”

My head snaps up to him, silent tears falling down my cold cheeks. I wanted to slap myself, find proof that I am not dreaming. He continues. “I like that woman, she’s responsible. Plenty useful. I’ve seen her handiwork behind our home, planting tubers and herbs. She’s a lot smarter than anyone in any of this God forbidden place.”

“She stays?” I hear myself croak.

“She takes great care of your wellbeing; I don’t see why I should force her away.” He nods his head. “You just keep up with our training and that cat won’t bother you or her. So, don’t you worry too much about her. She’s safe.”

A shuddering breath rushes out of my body and with it most of my worries. Sinking down to my bottom my lips tremble with the beginnings of a relieved cry.

My woman was safe. My Stephanie didn’t need to leave my side. I can continue to fall into her arms at night and wake to her peaceful face. I can continue drowning in the love we have for each other, feel the safety and warmth in her presence. The aches in my chest from all the uncertainty flushed away by just that last two words. She’s safe.

She’s safe and she can stay, that’s all that matters.