The second time, even if we had met a few times in the SM building, none of them were actually something big, luckily we waved at each other, or exchanged a few words of encouragement. Because I am good friends with some members of EXO, I could easily see her when she visited one of her good friends, Suho, but most of the times it was just me watching her walking away with the dark haired man. 

Finally I had a chance, it was the same year I was preparing to debut with NCT, I was supposed to debut with EXO but I really wanted to focus in my studies, so I delayed it. My fellow member, Doyoung, was doing a show with Leeteuk sunbaenim, he suddenly came to the practice room with a shy smile, he was quiet, and nothing took away that expression of his face, he was hiding something.

-Okay, tell us already, what is going on?- Taeyong asked wipping sweat off his forehead, everybody knew something happened but he was the only one that showed real interest about it, more like the only one who could get the truth out of him. -It's nothing- He answered with a timid laugh, Taeyong looked at some members and as they shared smiles we all knew what was gonna happen, the leader of the group threw himself to the younger male tickling him as much as he could as th others tried to hold him down. -Okay Okay, I give up- Doyoung finally said catching his breath. -Yoona sunbaenim requested to come on SMT- My heart stopped, just listening her name made my heart ache, everybody looked at him, of course must of us were SNSD fans, some of the members more than the others, but to be on a show with one of them was an amazing chance, the ones who looked as jealous as me were Jaehyun and Taeyong, the rest were just surprised. -Man, that's amazing- Mark said with a goofy voice, he was lucky, more than that, he didn't even knew it. This was a chance, the chance I've waiting for without realising about it. We stopped with the little break and kept practicing the dance of our new song limitless, I tried to think of way to get in the program without being too obvious, Should I just go visit him that day? What If show up like nothing? If I do will she remember me? What if I try to talk to her after the program? Does she even know my name? All kind of thoughts appeared in my head, and then, a solution came out of nowhere. I should switch with Doyoung.

The day Yoona would show up wasn't known, so I had at least a week to convince Doyoung to let me so his job at SMT, so every day, every time I saw him I pleaded. -Please, it's all I am asking, after this I will do everything you want.- And Doyoung always answered the same. -There is no way I am letting you do my job- His cold way of speaking made me loose hope. Everyday I tried to bribe him with different things, I promised I would make his bed for a month, that I would never ever again, I would help him with his vroom vroom show on NCT life, and that I would buy him lots and lots good food, and finally after a few days, he gave up. -Okay, you can do it, but if you don't do all the things you said you were going to do, I'll slit your throat.- And I was the happiest I could ever be, I kissed his cheeks as he would cringe by the act, I ran to our manager to tell him the news, he got quite angry knowing that he would have to tell the news to Leeteuk sunbaenim and all of the staff, they will definitely scold him.

Monday came, and unfortunately, Yoona wasn't available that day, so that meant I had to wait for another week, I was expecting, everyday passing as fast as it could, sleeping early to make the time go fast. All the time I had dumb smile on my face, it was annoying, but I couldn't help it.

Once again another Monday, and this was the day that Yoona would go on the show, I was nervous, , I was shaking by the excitement, my legs felt weak and my hands unable to calm down, trying not to be too excited, I took my headphones and listened to some music to relax, that's when Leeteuk Sunbaenim opened the door with what seemed a small laugh, he saw me and smiled right away, I got up and properly said hi to him, the make up artist came  talking with another girl, they started to put some make up in some places no to look too tired, or maybe only to me, I wasn't able to sleep well knowing that this monday was just about her. -She is really pretty- The voice of the woman took me by surprise, they were talking in English. -I know, she didn't even need that much make up- The other girl answered, looking at what it seemed to be a photo. -Man, Yoona is really nice, I would be really annoyed if someone woke me up for a picture- The woman praised the idol as she kept rearranging my hair. Yoona, with just that name my mind went blank, this wasn't the only time I heard nice things about her, and of course, it wasn't the last.

-Ten more minutes- One of the staff said and left quickly, my heart beated faster, I was gonna see her, finally after so much time, I was going to see her. I swallowed my saliva and Leeteuk noticed. -Are you nervous?- He asked nicely, I always liked him, he was one of the beat sunbae in SM, he was down to earth and kind to everyone. -Yes- I responded with a big sigh. -Why?- Leeteuk asked again, I actually understood his curiosity, the other times I was quite awkward but mostly chill, this was work,  my Korean was better and I knew the guests, but this time was different, my confidence left as soon as I stepped inside the building. -I usually am always nervous, but this time, is a different kind- I explained trying to make him understand what I meant, he laughed and gave me friendly pat on my shoulder. -There's is no one nicer than Yoona, I swear.- He said with his nice smile. -Do you like her?- He continued. -Actually, she is the first idol I met in Korea, she looked really pretty, ever since then I've been a big fan.- I tried to sound as normal and indifferent as I could, I thought it worked, but the smile on his face said otherwise, I seemed that Leeteuk had encountered many male fans in all this years of friendship with Yoona.

- Just one minute- The staff said again and we left the room to go to our prospective seats. And then, there she was, Yoona at that time was with her eyes closed as she let her make up artist put some eye shadow, she looked healthy, and that made me relieved, even though she was naturally skinny, I hated to see her on her bones.

The show started, the SMT introduction was quite cringy, Yoona sat beside one of the cameras waiting to be announced to get in the picture. - Im YoonA! Im YoonA!- Leeteuk cheered and I copied him by doing the same thing. Her cute smile appeared right away when we started, thank god for the make up, if it wasn't for that my face would have been all red. The compliments that Leeteuk gave to Yoona were smooth, and by the way she answered I knew it wasn't the first time she dodged them, everything was going well, I had my nervousness under control until the mischievous smile of my sunbae appeared. -However, I feel like Johnny is specially nervous today.- , this was the taste of betrayal, I looked at Yoona who was a little confused and then again at Leeteuk. -I don't know what you are talking about- I said with a laugh trying not to be so obvious as I knew I looked. Yoona covered her face, she knew, I had been discovered. I couldn't think of anything, her sweet smile made it seem like it was okay, of course she was used to this, but I didn't want to be like everyone else. Leeteuk kept explaining what happened right before the show started, it was kind of dumb of me to think he wouldn't tell YoonA, one of his best friends, the fact that I have a crush on her. -Johnny, do you really like her that much?- Leeteuk questioned, I glanced at the girl, who wasn't just a girl anymore, she was a woman, a woman older than me by 5 years, and she was watching with shinning big eyes full of curiosity, I couldn't hide it anymore. -Yes, I'm fan- My voice sounded confident, and as Leeteuk continued to embarrass me in front of her I thought, why not just do it completly?. -Ah really?- Yoona asked me with a radiant expression, it loomed like she was waiting for me to actually corroborate the story. -Yes- Once the words came out of my mouth, my voice sounded a little weird, Leeteuk teased me as Yoona laughed, man, what would I give to make her laugh every day. -If I recall to that day...- I started to tell the story myself, it's true that she is my first love, but Leeteuk was known to exaggerate things, so I tried soft all that he said. I told them almost all I remembered and without looking more than a few seconds to Yoona I could tell she was listening truly. -So even now I can't look at her in the eyes- I finished making everything much weirder for me, YoonA, smiled again doing some aegyo, man, even though I wanted to watch everything she did i couldn't do it, if our gazes met I shivered. -Perhaps, have you ever shaken hands with Yoona before?- Leeteuk, this time, called Yoona by her name instead using formal speech, I was jealous, all I could do was say Yoona sunbae or Yoona Noona, their closeness made me a bit frustrated, I wished I could have been born before, then maybe i could have the joy to hear her voice calling me Oppa. -No, never, not even once.- I glanced again at her, she had loving eyes as she covered her smile with her hands, she enjoyed when people told her they liked her. -YoonA, could you please shake hands?- The dark haired man went back to the formal speech. I was thankful, maybe if Leeteuk hadn't don what he did I would have never hold her hand. -Oh, of course, he is my hoobae- She stood up, showing how beautiful her body was, the smile that she carried in her face never seemed prettier in all her life, our eyes met again, my heart rushed. She walked normally, and before amything happened I felt my hands a bit sweaty, so i left them on my legs making them dryier then, when she was just a step away from me, I stood up awkwardly. Her hand came first, and then mine, I grabbed it carefully and gave her a gentle squeeze, I felt the electricity run trough my body, Did she fell it too? Did she noticed  the way my hands shake? My eyes looked at her again, she was beautiful in every way possible, another second passed and I didn't want to let go of her hand, but I had to. A weird notice came out of my mouth, I was trembling full of nervousness, and as much as I tried to hold it in, it got out showing how timid I was in front of her. I must say, her hands were soft, and looking her so close made me notice she wasn't as tall as she used to, I wasn't as small as I used to.

-My face- I said out loud, I was burning up, i thanked again the make up that didn't show any of the redness I actually had, I could still feel her hand in mine. -Hopefully you'll continue holding that kind of felling for me- And how couldn't I? Even if another 9 years passed my heart wouldn't change, it does not matter if Yoona dates SeungGi again, it doesn't matter if she dates another man, my heart won't waver. -So Johnny, why don't you express those felling in English?- Leeteuk asked making me land on earth again, I accepted  without thinking it twice.

-Ever since 2008, I feel like, nothing has change like... The way... I'm really nervous, I can't express it well.- Once again, I felt myself shaking with some kind of excitement and a familiar felling. I took a big breath and I finished. - I'm a big fan and I always will be. Thank you, thank you for being you. Oh my god.- But it didn't quite cool as I wanted to, my voice trembled again and I felt extremely ashamed, trying to cover my face I heard how Leeteuk kept teasing. I just want to keep going with program, my cool and confident image was on the ground, but the dark haired man said one last thing. -Actually, to be able to stare at Yoona is quite hard- Oh no. -Yoona, can you make a 3-second eye contact with Johnny?- This could have gone better, but maybe, if i hadn't tell Leeteuk that I like her, I wouldn't have been able to have so much of her. -Of course.- The way she responded made me feel better, she was so nice and accepted everything Leeteuk made her do, she looked so secure about herself. -I can't do it- I told him already knowing that she'll see me even more embarrassed, the dark haired man just gave me words of encouragement and started to count. I prepared myself, and in that seconds I had before seeing hair I tried to have a poker face, which disappeared the moment the sunbae made us look at each other, once again, three seconds that made me fall even deeper for her, three seconds that left me waiting for more than I could have. I looked away making her laugh, and after it ended, Leeteuk finally continued with the questions we had to do to her.

I tried not to look too much, but I guessed it didn't really matter, when I could I stared at her but the moment she looked back I felt shy again and looked down. It was my turn to talk again, Yoona won the most popular artist at AAA and I bought a rose to congratulate her, I wanted to show a good image, giving her roses and praising her, but nothing went along as I planned. -Actually, I prepared something- I said taking the rose of a box and standing up, her reaction was good, better than I imagined, she said she was touched, and I smiled at her happiness. -It's embarrassing- I told Leeteuk going back to where I was sitting. The questions continued, this time about her drama, I had seen it, and I disliked the actor who was with her, all the scenes together, even the kiss made me feel bitter when he showed up. What made me happy was she never mentioned him in any of her favorite scenes, she preferred other who were important with plot. Everything about her amused me, she joked around comfortably, she felt proud about little things, and she was really down to earth. The way she smiled and laughed shyly, I couldn't take my eyes off of her, in those moments I was drawn to her in every possible way. After a while, I calmed down, I could finally see without avoiding her gaze and talk to her looking at her for more than a second, but the moment Leeteuk said something about me the nervousness came back, when they talked about her chinese drama I felt more courage to tall to her, I even had prepared questions for her, when she said something about her movie I understood something, Yoona likes being praised, she is just modest but loves when they tell her nice things, so I tried. -But, really, I saw your drama and your acting is really good-  Her eyes widened like she was ready for that compliment, she shook her head and with a cute voice said that she wasn't. Felling shy, Leeteuk gave me his attention and to avoid the awkwardness I answered quickly, and then. -I think you Korean is much better than before- Does that mean she remembered the first time we met? Or maybe was a few years after at the SM building with some of the EXO members? -Yes, that, I've been working hard- My hands moved through the table without knowing what to do, my smile came the second I heard her voice and I couldn't stop. -Thank you- I said as I gave a light bow, my smile never left until I realised, her fans can get angry. I pulled myself together and said to the camera. -I got praised, so I'm felling great- I explained suddenly looking at her again, wondered how do I look in her eyes. I bet I am just her cute hoobae.

When Leeteuk asked about SNSD I saw how her expression became a bit sad, I knew why, for an idol to be almost a decade in the industry is just too much. I shared stares with the dark haired man, something was up again. -Your favorite SNSD member is YoonA?- I didn't get it then, but now I do, hyung was trying to make her feel better. I gave a quick glance towards her and then back to Leeteuk. -Yes- Then again towards her, she looked happy, or maybe just satisfied. -What about your second favorite?- I actually wanted to say right away that it was only her, but was it too much? Maybe she felt a bit pressured about me. -I only have one favorite- I answered choosing to expose the truth right away.  Her reaction now was surprising, she was happy, more than that, she expressed with her pretty eyes and nice smile, not understanding why she gave such a big reaction, Yoona explained that most of the times they ask, they chose her because she is beside them, but when asked the second favorite member they tell the truth, that's why she was happy when I just said I liked her. We kept talking until we could have a little break, Yoona drank some water again and her manager came quickly giving her a phone that I supposed it was from her, the make up artist also came fixing our hair and make up, but Yoona suddenly stoop up and picked up a call, her sweet voice was soft and I couldn't understand a thing of what she said, but she seemed focused, so I thought It could be from work. It took her a few minutes to come back and let her staff do the things she needed, she had a small talk with her stylist and then, the break was over, her eyes landed in mine, and I looked somewhere else, the camera focused on me and the next segment was presented, everything went smoothly, I discovered a few things of her and got to talk to her in Chinese, but because I was nervous I ended up messing a little bit in the pronunciation. I have to admit my jealousy towards Leeteuk were useless, even If I felt a bit sad when she spoke so gently about him, I now realise he is just a friend.

Maybe one of the cutest thing I got to discover about her was her big appetite, when she was happy about winning the meat it was the cutest, I heard the rumors, Yoona eats a lot and doesn't gain weigh, but I didn't believe it until that day. When I gave it to her, her eyes were stuck on the meat, she didn't even saw me walking towards her.

The next segment came as well, and Yoona kept watching every girl with all the attention she could, when it was over she couldn't chose her favorite, so without Leeteuk telling me, I went towards her with the small doll she had to draw on, Yoona said many times she didn't have any drawing skill, but I was expecting anything from her. Leeteuk, knowing that she wouldn't talk much, told me a story of her pre-debut, I felt closer to her, even if it was a small thing, I was happy. As Leeteuk and I spoke, he suddenly asked something when I was caught off guard. - So Johnny, your ideal type is YoonA?-  I was trapped, I didn't want to be obvious, but there was no time for that after all the things that happened. -As I said before. I like a girl who smiles often- I said trying to indirectly say it was YoonA, but hyung helped with that right away. -A girl who smiles often, is Yoona, and?- I chuckled, Yoona had a lot of good things, but my mind went blank. -A girl with a kind heart.- That was her, Yoona, if she wanted, could keep a lot of money, but she shares it and does charity. -A girl with a kind heart, Yoona.- I glanced over at the woman who was busy drawing on the doll, even if she wanted to be a surprise, I heard when she told her manager she was going to draw me, so I was expecting  even more. -Also, in the morning, a girl who i can drink coffee with.- I didn't know it then, but she is not such a fan of coffee like me. -A girl who drinks coffee, Yoona- Yoona then laughed,and I saw her with a smile on my face.

-Now, name there strength of Yoona. Why do I like her?- My heart skipped a beat, once again I looked over her, she smiled at me and continued what she was doing. I explained it the best way I could l, I said the exact same that I said before. - Kind, beautiful and kind-hearted, has a pretty smile, what else?- Leeteuk kept bugging, my hands played with each other, what more? Everything, what wasn't a reason to like her? -Is there a need to say more?- I answered him with another question. Her smiled came back and thanked me.

Yoona finished drawing, and my expectation grew stronger, she showed the doll who looked like me, if you actually saw it in an artistic way, I wanted to rush and take it, but Leeteuk suggested to sign it, and she did as he told her, I was happy, I though this was definently the beat day of my life, I got so many gifts from her that I couldn't even ask for more. I went for the doll, we were close again, this time much more because there was no table in between us, I couldn't look at her, but I felt her eyes on me. -Thank you-

An hour passed quickly, and Yoona, all of the sudden, was on the last segment, Leeteuk said o should help her, and as I couldn't really say much, I noticed another thing of YoonA, when she is focused, she doesn't listen to anything beside her, she is just doing what she has to do. One of the wishes Yoona did was that she wanted to see dance to one of SNSD songs. -If Yoona sunbaenim wants it, I'll do it- Then, the game started. It was funny to see her excitement and how easily she got happy by the smallest thing, I knew i had a few minutes left with her, so I looked at her as much as I could, my eyes didn't leave her, and when she lost, I saw how touched she was when her fans wanted her to win. She looked at me with her shinning and dark eyes, she wanted me to dance her song. -Then... SNSD's gee- I said, I know the dance, but when I was handing there and Leeteuk did a better job, I felt discouraged, YoonA, who was a few meters beside me looked at me dancing as well.  I did a bad job, I couldn't remember the steps, but Yoona didn't complain at all. -Then how about you dance while we read the comments?- Hyung suggested, I looked at him, this was a chance, a chance to show Yoona my cool side instead of the clumsy and cute one. -Please, play some music- I said more serious, and both of them stared at me impressed, Dancing King of EXO started playing, it was a groovy melody and all I could do was try not loose the beat, Yoona stared at me again, she seemed amused at first, than she laughed and clapped her hands to the beat. I was dancing, and only for her, I looked at her and got closer, she smiled proudly and kept cheering. When I stopped Leeteuk wondered why I did so well. -Because of Yoona- That was my only answer, then I added that I was still nervous. -This is a good way for people to know Johnny- She said and clapped her hands again, then she laughed at the jokes Leeteuk said. Yoona had to wink for the fans, and my heart beated faster, everything she did made happier. But it was time for her to leave, and as she cutely said goodbye to her fans, I started to get a bit sad, when will I ever see her again?

-Good, thanks everybody for working hard- The director said once the cameras were off, Yoona Stood up and Leeteuk and copied her action, she got closer to us with a big smile. -Thank you for everything- The woman made a small bow and then she turned around and did the same to the staff, everybody started moving, and when my manager said I had to go to practice I couldn't make more time. -Johnny, if you need anything count on me- Yoona said and I walked to the other side of the room, a gave her a smile and thanked her as well, but it didn't seem like she heard me, her staff took all of her things, but she carried the flower. Then I remembered about the doll, and I ran for it, I took it as fast as I could and left. It was a good day, the best.