After a while, her life changed. Matthew no longer offered to take her to lunch or look for a movie day, he did not talk to her unless it was necessary or Somin and Taehyung were present. Little by little he walked away from her in just a few weeks. In the presentations they did not speak or have contact unless it was for the choreography, the fans had no more to ship them with and although sometimes that became exasperating, she found herself missing it, wishing that what those fans shipped, was real.

She didn't know why, what had changed, if she had done something wrong. But she didn't look for answers either, after all this wasn't the first time someone stop talking to her, actually she was quite used to people leaving her often, she had never had a real best friend before, for some reason people kept pushing her away after a while and eventually she stopped caring and convinced herself that all she needed was herself. 

And so she didn't do anything when Matthew suddenly changed his attitude towards her, but she couldn't deny she was startled, after opening up to him and letting him see glimpses of her life no one ever saw before, after trusting him... 

He didn't care.

And she was disappointed but certainly not surprised.

***

The show ended and they walked out to the backstage. 

“Good job, fam!” Matthew shouted and Taehyung celebrated along him. 

When Jiwoo turned towards Somin, she saw her crying and hurriedly approached her to see what was wrong.

“What's wrong Somin unnie?” She asked concerned, immediately looking for paper to offer her. 

“Nothing, it's just so amazing...”

Jiwoo didn't let her finish and pulled her into an embrace. 

“The emotion, right?” Somin nodded. “I know how that feels, is amazing, but you don't have to cry.”

Taehyung and Matthew approached and immediately got worried about Somin. 

“What happened?” Taehyung asked passing an arm around her shoulders.

“I'm just moved...”

“Aww, babe,” he hugged her and Jiwoo decided to leave them alone. 

Matthew was already away flirting with some staff girl in a corner. 

Jiwoo shook her head and headed to the dressing rooms, she closed the door behind her and sat down in a couch. 

She plunged into her thoughts for a while. Taehyung and Somin were happy together and although she was happy for them, she could not help feeling a little jealous for not having someone like that. She also wanted a close family like the one they all had, she wanted to go back to Korea and run into someone's arms and not just her mother, with whom she did not even have a very close relationship since she could live perfectly well without her, being unable to miss her or grieve for not having her. She had only one brother she did not get along with and she had no more family, no more friends, no one else that could be proud of her or dedicate her work to, only her fans. 

She was tired of being alone, she didn't know if Somin and Taehyung were her true friends, because having never had one in every sense of the word, she did not know if this was how a friendship was, besides Somin already had a best friend who certainly wasn't her. Matthew seemed to be a good friend until he walked away and even though she did not consider him a stranger, she thought that it was definitely not real, because if he was, he would not have to go away or just be in for a few moments. 

And then there was that feeling of emptiness in her chest, in addition to all of the above, she felt like something else was missing. 

Love. 

She needed that so much that at the first demonstration of interest of her group mate, she fell flat on her face. No one had ever cared for her that way, no one had ever really wanted to meet her. But Matthew had. And now he just walked away... 

But that did not stop her feelings from being there, she wanted him, it was inevitable. But it hurt, it hurt more than all her other problems together, because somehow she was already accustomed to the rest, but she had not felt something like that for anyone before and she definitely did not know how to deal with it. She did not know what to do with the tightness in her chest every time she saw Matthew flirting with a girl or whenever he ignored her. She didn't know what to do. 

And so, thinking of everything, her mind collapsed like it had never done before. 

Her small body jerked as she allowed herself to break. Tears streamed from her eyes and she could not stop them. She never cried, she could not even remember the last time she had, but this time she could not hold it anymore and she didn't mind being in a place where she could be seen because she couldn't even stop.

She had been trying to be strong for so long...

A pair of arms pulled her into an embrace, she didn't even notice who it was or when had come into the room, she was just glad that that person didn't say a thing and just wrapped her in their arms. 

She didn't know how much time had passed but she was too comfortable in those arms...

“What is it?” The person asked. And it wasn't any person. 

It was Matthew. 

She pulled away from him and dared to look up.

So beautiful, he thought. 

Even with her puffy eyes and flushed face, he thought she was gorgeous. 

He had never seen her cry before, he didn't even think she had cried a single time in her life. But there she was, looking smaller than she already was in the big couch, hugging her knees and hiding her face, allowing herself to break down.

Like a storm. 

The ocean always was amazing, calm when it was sunny, cold when it was cloudy, dangerous when stormy...

But beautiful. Always beautiful.

***

She pulled away. She found herself extremely satisfied in his arms, but she still was mad at him.

“What is it, Jiu?” He asked in that deep voice of his making her tremble.

“Nothing,” she replied and in just a few seconds her expression was calm, as if nothing happened. “How's Somin?”

Matthew frowned, she was the one crying as if her life pained her but she was asking how Somin was. She cared more about others than herself, she was soft and caring on the inside despite being rough and insensitive on the outside.

“Fine,” he nodded. “Tae is with her, I think she's pretty happy now.”

Jiwoo nodded and remained quiet.

“Hey, listen,” he said firmly. “I will not let you keep this burden to yourself, you have to let go of whatever is tormenting you.”

“I'm okay,” she whispered. “You don't have to worry about me.”

“I don't have to, but I do...”

She looked at him, penetrating him to see if he really meant what he was saying. 

“Why did you leave me?” She asked in a barely audible voice, that if he had not been so close he would not have been able to hear.

He didn't answer.

“Why did you stop talking to me? Did I do something wrong? Normally I do not care if people leave me, I'm so used to it that I'm not surprised, but why you?” She began to raise her voice as she spoke. “Why Matthew!” She exclaimed. “I did nothing but let you in! No one has ever had the slightest access to my life more than you, you know I have trust issues and you didn't care!”

She began to cry again as she claimed, her little hands flew to his chest, she was angry. He stopped her by pulling away her hands to keep her from hitting him, though the blows were not at all strong, and he placed his palm on her cheek to steady her before approaching and hitting a kiss on .

She stopped moving as she realised he was kissing her. She felt unable to respond, but when his hand rested on her waist, she placed hers around his neck. She had wanted it so desperately...

When he felt her hands around his neck and playing with strands of hair, he growled against . It was so good. The feel of her soft lips against his, finally having contact with her as he had wanted for so long.

They parted and looked at each other.

“Why did you do that?” She asked in a low whisper.

“I have wanted to do that for so long,” he said. “I guess I just couldn't resist it anymore.”

She smiled.

“You didn't answer me,” she said.

“You have always been interesting and attractive to me and I knew from the very first moment that you would be a mystery, that you did not easily let see who you really are, my goal has been to get to know you. And over time, you caught me. It's just that you are so incredible and so beautiful that I could not help but fall in love with you. But the more you let me see glimpses of your life behind what you usually show, the more I realised that I don't know you at all. And yet I lived to be for you, I wanted to be with whom you wanted to share your happiest moments and be the only one that you allowed to see you in your moments of weakness. But it did not seem to get anywhere, you did not seem to love me the same way I loved you. And I realised that if I continued... I would drown.”

“What do you like most about this place?” She asked.

“The ocean,” he replied.

“And about Seoul?”

She could feel his gaze penetrating her.

“The ocean.”

She lowered her head, feeling the urge to cry again. She had known all this time that he wanted her, she just couldn't realise it because she was blinded, locked up between the walls she herself had built. When he had said 'the ocean' that time in Santa Monica, he meant her. And he had felt that he was drowning, because of her. 

What he had said was the most beautiful thing someone had ever said to her and she didn't know how to respond. So she did the only thing she could at the moment: he pulled him closer to her and kissed him. 

“I love you too...”

And in that moment they were the happiest people in the world. 

She was finally giving into his touch.

And he was happy. He hadn't had to return to the shore. Instead he continued swimming, diving deep into the ocean...