This will be a four shot(?), and chapters that are written like "and Mina left" are from the past. Just a headups, so y'all wont get confused with whatever plot I'm about to write *insert Mina's ehehe laugh here* 

*

I didn't feel anything when I left you. When I saw your crying face, when I imagined this was going to be our last moment, I didn't cry, nor was I upset, angry, sad. You called me heartless because I was expressionless, you claimed I didn't love you, and you told me to go. I was too empty and numb.

But you see, here's where you're mistaken. I did love you, more than you could ever imagine, but I was too scared to show it, too immature to say it, I didn't take you seriously and I admit my mistake. I wanted to go back to you, back to your arms, but I just couldnt. I wasn't ready, ready to show how I truly am, because none have seen 'me'. You know how my family controlled me as if I was their pity puppet, not being able to do what I wanted, only to do what they expected me to do. So, naturally, a part of 'me' got lost in my awful childhood. I didn't know what 'I' liked and what they didnt, so I just acted as they told me to. It was easier that way. 

But you? You were a breathe of fresh air, something that fits right in with me, but so wrong at the same time. You opened a new world to me, allowing me to savour new emotions, sensations, everything in between. I found light when the alley was dark, but as soon as I acknowledge how much you changed me, and they realised as well they couldnt control me anymore, I let your hand slip from mine's. 

'That's a small sacrifice in your development, Mina', my father said. Ah, he didnt like you. 

'Yeah, for the sake of this family, you must stay clean and devoid of anything real', my mother added. She didn't like you as well. And so, I could only comply to their terms, because that's all I knew how to do correctly. So I left you. 

I had to, Momo. For the sake of you and me, both. I had to. 

You must probably wonder how did I do. If I was as miserable as you were. The first year, I wasn't. I acted like the empty puppet I was, not knowing what "feeling" was. The second year, I moved abroad because my parents want me to be a better ballerina, so I did. I went to Russia, but everything changed there. I cried every night to sleep, I wanted to die because you werent there. No one was. I couldn't breathe, and I didnt find motivation in dancing if you werent there with me, to watch me, to compliment me. To tell me how beautiful I looked doing a simple spin - Oh, it took two years only to yearn you. To miss you. I missed you so much I could die right in the spot. The third year, I went back to Japan, completely different from my previous self. I secretly bought an apartment away from my parents, in Shibuya; I secretly tattooed myself, as a reminder that I didnt completely forget you, and that I was my own person. And last, I dyed my hair a color my parents hated the most, red velvet. You loved that color, and I grew to like it as well. Rather than losing myself, I think I found who I truly am.

'You're a disgrace to this family, Mina', cruel words but I could taste freedom in them. Ah, now I am free. Should I contact you then? No. Not yet.

The fourth year, Sana did. Sana was your best friend, and she's one to me as well. She always took care of me, and I always made sure she'd know just how grateful I am that she did that. 

But, ever since I decided to leave you, she stopped caring. I knew she was angry, probably sad too, and I understood. I gave her the space she needed, and in the way I gave up finding a way to at least reach her - until she contacted me. 

It was a long talk, ours. She said everything, and she ended up crying because she was hurt as well. I apologised to her, tears threatening to leave my eyes, but I held them back. 'Not now, Myoui' I thought as I hugged Sana. I was sorry. At you, at her. At everyone. I'm deeply, truly sorry. 

We parted with her saying 'go to WOMB this Saturday at midnight' 

'Why?'

'Just do, Mina. Don't skip it, go' it's almost as it was a demand. I nodded, she smiled and left. 

*

I noticed Sana in the front door followed by a cute brown haired girl. It took me a while to notice you. You were there as well. I quickly diverted my eyes and pretended not to feel your eyes all over me, pretending you werent there - because I wasnt ready. 

', Sana, you and your games' I said, but deep down I was thanking her. Probably. (I wouldnt give her the satisfaction to know that). Minutes passed and after gathering every ounce of bravery? I turned around to meet your eyes. 

Oh, you look almost the same if it werent for your now different hair color. It used to be blonde and long, but now its short and brown. Remember when you said you disliked your hair short, and I disliked my hair long? Oh, the irony of the situation now. 

I walked over you, legs trembling out of fear. But what did I fear at the moment? I dont know. 

You? 

Me?

Us?

Maybe. 

I took you to an empty table and listened to your story. 

'....... The fourth year? It wasnt that bad. Sana was there to help me. I continued with college, and you werent that much in my mind anymore'

I see. I looked down to hide my smile; I was happy you got me off your mind, weirdly so. But I nodded anyways.

'I don't hate you' - Thank you. 

'I could never hate you' - Thank you.

When you touched my lips, I felt hot all over. A heat crept up to my neck, cheeks and stomach, making me desire more. 

, you never fail to rail me up like this, don't you Momo?

I grabbed your hand and lead you off the club, to take you to my apartment. 

I wanted to jump off and feel the adreline of our dangerous relationship once more, and if I am....

...I might as well not jump alone in this.