Chapter Eleven

‘What doesn’t kill you makes you stronger’ was proven to be wrong the moment when Youngji came back from school. She was drenched with her own sweats, body shivering and skin as cold as a dead body – maybe she was dead, she thought, but that thought was quickly ceased from her mind as soon as she saw her own reflection in the mirror. She caressed her cheeks, feeling how her skin was turning rougher and dull. Her hair looked perfect – all straight and smooth – but once she touched it, she could only feel like her hand was gonna be stuck in her hair, forever.

She looked so pitiful.

She puffed her cheeks, trying to make herself to look livelier by doing so, but she only saw the reflection of a squirrel with too many nuts in its mouth. She smiled, but she felt as if she was watching herself turning into a creepy clown – the only missing thing was a bright, red lipstick. Her shoulders were slouched as she sighed while staring at her own reflection. She really couldn’t do this, yet she knew that doing this could actually do her a favour.

But honestly, she was really scared to find herself thinking of Jongdae and all of his preferences. It was as if she was literally living to please him and follow whatever he told her to do. She didn’t dare to oppose Jongdae. Not at all, and she was really concerned by that. When he was there, she lost her ability to make her own decision. Her mind was paralyzed, and she started acting like his words were law. That only meant one thing: she cared for him. She cared for him so much that she was scared that going against his words was gonna cost her to be left by him.

It was terrifyingly extreme – the feelings she had, really – because she knew how much she would go for the people she cared about. Take for instance, her parents. They were quite the living evidence of Youngji’s devotion to the people she sincerely took care of. She was her parents’ doll, and they were mostly the only ones being thought by her whenever she was to make decisions.

Youngji had no problem caring for Jongdae – or even doting and cherishing him – if it wasn’t for the fact that Jongdae loved Chanyeol, and it had been obvious on several occasions that Jongdae would not appreciate any gesture which showed affection. She would be lying if she said that she wasn’t hurt, because every time Jongdae stared at her indifferently and trying to slap away her spontaneous gesture, she could feel a part of her collapsed on the floor. She disliked it when the person she was actually keen on tried to push her away.

Perhaps it wasn’t just because she liked him? Was there more to it? If there wasn’t, then why would she even put Chanyeol as one of her obstacles? Was she thinking that he was some kind of rival?

She shook her head while trying to suppress her urge to yell and break every object she could see. Jongdae and all of these dramas in this country were really causing her to lose her cool easily – it was as if there wasn’t any room for her to breath and actually enjoy her stay there. Just this evening at school – right when she was about to leave the school compound, somebody had actually thought that it was cool to throw pebbles at her. She really had no idea that Koreans loved throwing things at a person that much. Until now, she had not been able to see the face of the culprits who were behind every unfortunate event she had gone through – though, she knew the face of the real culprit. The one who gave out orders.  

A knock was heard, and she immediately stood up and pretended like she was actually trying to find an outfit.

“Youngji?”

She glanced at the door to find Mistress Park smiling lovingly at her. The woman was wearing something fancy, which only meant that she was going out.

“May I help you, Mistress Park?” she asked sweetly while putting down the random outfit she chose on her bed.  

Mistress Park came farther into the room and she finally sat on the edge of Youngji’s bed. Her fingers were pulling the hem of the outfit that Youngji chose, and then she looked around the room before she finally looked at Youngji who brilliantly concealed her nervousness.

“I want you to go shopping with me,” Mistress Park said nonchalantly while signalling at Youngji that she wanted the young girl to sit beside her. Once Youngji was comfortably seated beside her, she began to caress the girl’s hair. “There’s actually a dinner party tonight at the Kim, and I think that it will be lovely to have both Chanyeol and you to attend it as well.” She stopped brushing Youngji’s hair to detect any sign of indifference from the girl. “Are you okay with that?”

“Yes. Of course. It will be nice,” she replied normally – though her words weren’t even close to how much havoc she was causing inside her head.

Mistress Park smiled widely while patting Youngji’s back affectionately. “I know that I can always count on you,” she said happily. “I know that soon, Chanyeol and you will end up together. What nonsense did I just say? Chanyeol and you will always end up together! Remember when the both of you were kids – with this another friend of the both of you? I remember having to always monitor Chanyeol because he would always find an excuse to sneak into your Japanese class.”

“Yes, I do remember,” Youngji murmured. 

“He always came back with a new word, but he would forget it the next day,” Mistress Park continued speaking dreamily while looking in the air, as if the scene of the past was being displayed there. “He could only remember Yeol-chan, which is his nickname. It was given by you, isn’t it?”

Youngji nodded. “That’s true, Mistress Park.”

“Chanyeol never forgets you, and he will eventually fall back in your arms. Forget the past, Youngji. Everyone did something foolish in their past.”

Youngji ducked her head while pinching the tips of her fingers. She was starting to feel really uncomfortable and upset, but she would never be able to let them all out now. Not in front of Mistress Park, for sure. “Mistress Park,” she began calmly, “I feel that...”

“What is it?”

“Chanyeol and I,” she said. She gulped. “Why do you think that we will be together in the end?”

“He loves you. He has never been upset towards you, and although he never showed it, I have always known that he missed you a lot. It’s such a strong sign – it had occurred for two years. He is never wavered by anything – not even by his current girlfriend.” 

Jongdae has been loving Chanyeol since two years ago, too.

“The things from the past could never be shaken off by the mere two years,” Mistress Park stated dramatically. “It is not easy to just forget everything.”

“I understand.”

“I’m glad then,” Mistress Park replied. “So now, I hope that you’ll be able to get yourself readied because we’re gonna head straight away to the Kim after we purchase a suitable dress for you.”

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u n r i p e a p p l e

“I refuse to join.”

“Chanyeol,” Mistress Park called him out sternly. “You will be joining this dinner party, and you will accompany Youngji till the end of it.”

Chanyeol frowned as he bit his lips. “Mom –“

“Park Chanyeol. Dress up and get ready.”

Youngji couldn’t help but to stare at Chanyeol while mouthing the phrase ‘just do it’. She felt upset to see that Chanyeol was actually going against his mother. She wasn’t a fan of having Park Chanyeol as her company for the whole night – not after the incident from a few weeks ago. Not after she attempted on strengthening herself again and rebuilt her principle. But she greatly disliked it when Mistress Park’s words were taken lightly by him. That wasn’t the Chanyeol in her memory – not the Chanyeol from two years ago.  

“Are you happy?” he whispered as he walked pass her.

She froze. The question hit her hard.

She abruptly grabbed his shoulder, and he made an immediate turn, the look of disbelief on his face. “I’m not,” she whispered back, and then she left and headed towards Mistress Park who was already at the outside.

As the both of them were heading towards the elevators, Mistress Park suddenly stopped walking and grabbed Youngji’s arm. Youngji looked at her in confusion, but she waited until Mistress Park spoke.

“You look pale,” Mistress Park stated. “You were already pale in the house, but you look paler now.”

“I put too much cream,” Youngji immediately replied. “It has nothing to do with anything else.”

“Is it true?”

“It is.”

One of the elevators was opened, and Youngji was quick to storm inside, but Mistress Park stopped her.

“Not that one,” the woman said, and the both of them just stood and stared at the elevator until it was closed again.

They went inside another elevator instead, and Youngji felt awkward and a bit off – which actually meant that she felt like she wasn’t comfortable with being alone with Mistress Park. Why would she? Mistress Park was like her second mother, so why was she feeling all awkward and stiff?

They finally reached the ground floor and not to anyone’s surprise, a chauffeur was ready.

“Where are we going, Mistress Park?”

“The mall, of course,” the woman replied while touching her face up with some cream. “That’s a funny question,” she said while smiling.

“How about Chanyeol?”

“That young man can find his own outfit,” Mistress Park said while grinning widely. She reached for her phone and began tapping on the screen. “I just texted him; I told him that he’s going to be escorted to the Kim.”

“Which Kim are you referring to – if you don’t mind me asking.”

“The one with no heir for their own company,” she replied nonchalantly. “I heard that they found a young man to pick up that position, but the young man” – she paused – “ran away.”

Youngji knew of that powerhouse couple. She had heard the news about the couple taking in many orphans and made them their own children. They were indeed very noble. But there were also rumours being spread, saying that the orphans had been disowned. Youngji wasn’t sure about the credibility of the source, so she never spoke her mind about it. Furthermore, she was not one to mingle in the group of her own class – which she thought was ridiculous, because class or standard seemed shallow to her.

Youngji nodded. “That’s very unfortunate.”

“At least they don’t have their very own heir declining the position – take Chanyeol, for instance. His mind is really polluted by all the talks about freedom. Teenagers seem to think that freedom can actually buy everything – and they are actually belittling the power of money,” Mistress Park stated grumpily. “Youngji?”

“Yes, Mistress Park.”

“I really hope that Chanyeol will learn from you. You are brilliant – a very perfect heiress for your father’s company, intelligent, well-mannered and pleasant.”

“Thank you, Mistress Park,” she said. “I’m so flattered by the compliments.”

“So don’t you think that it’s time for Chanyeol and you to be wedded? That will surely strengthen the bond between our families and make Chanyeol to rethink about his life decision.”

Youngji opened to speak, to reply, to retort, to talk – to say anything that would be able to indicate that she was totally against that idea. But she closed again – with so much force, of course. She wouldn’t go to Canada two years ago and left Chanyeol without a word if she actually thought that she loved Chanyeol to be her companion till the end of her life. Chanyeol was more than a friend, but he was not a lover. Just thinking of him as her future husband made her stomach stirred uncomfortably.

“Chanyeol and I are still very young, and we have more ahead of us,” she stated as gently as possible; she wouldn’t want to be called rude and impolite.

“What’s wrong with it? You’re going to take over your father’s company, and Chanyeol’s – well, I’m going to make sure that he will take over his father’s company. The future careers of the both of you are guaranteed and solving problems together is more efficient. Furthermore,” she said, and then she looked at Youngji with her dreamy look, “I really can’t wait to have my grandchildren.”

Jooyeon can give you that, old woman.

Youngji pulled herself out from the dark hole as she felt herself mocking Mistress Park – mentally. Was it only her, or Mistress Park was starting to get really aggressive?

“We are here.”

Youngji snapped out from her trance. “Time does pass quickly.”

Mistress Park’s eyes sparkled in glee. “This is so exciting – we never went shopping together. Is this how it feels to have a daughter?” she asked while giggling – and Youngji actually felt happy that she managed to make the woman smiled. Chanyeol must have been a huge burden to her – what’s not with the way Chanyeol talked back to her and disobeyed her. “I want to get you a very nice dress.”

Youngji smiled while brushing her hair since it was a bit messy. She managed to apply her cream and put some lipstick on, but for some reason, she still felt like she looked dull. Really dull – and pale, like her blood just got by something. She frowned, because that cream, lipstick and make-ups in general were her last resort – she was obviously not a fan of stuffing her face with various colours and substances – but they still failed to make her look at least like she was a living thing. It was really a sad thing to be admitted, but even the middle-aged Mistress Park looked better than her.  

Mistress Park literally pulled her towards one of the luxurious boutiques and the only thing Youngji could do was to listen diligently to every word spoken. The cashier lady was grinning at her – like Youngji was too blind to see – during the whole time Mistress Park gave her lecture about choosing a nice dress.

“Do you think that a dark blue dress will fit? The change of tone from your chest to the very bottom will make up for the simple cut,” one of the ladies working at the boutique – Miss Song – explained while motioning at the said dress. “It is one of our very exclusive dresses and there’s a limited number of it in the world. Do you want to give it a go, Miss...” the lady trailed off while biting her lips.

“Miss Park.”

Youngji was greatly astounded and she immediately averted her gaze at Mistress Park.

“Well, soon,” the woman added playfully.

“Young couples are very sweet, indeed,” Miss Song stated while smiling.

“Absolutely,” Mistress Park said confidently, and she obviously looked proud to be able to imply that Youngji was going to be her daughter-in-law.

“I’m Miss Kang,” Youngji interfered quickly before the unpleasant conversation escalated into something more unpleasant. “I think that the dress will fit nicely, and I really love that it is very less adorned. But Mistress Park,” she said while looking at the said woman, “do you think that it will be appropriate for the dinner party?”

To Youngji’s horror, Mistress Park only shrugged casually. “I have no idea; the Kims didn’t say anything on the invitation card but the venue and the time.”

“If that’s the case, then I will take this dress.”

“You should, because you’ll look very beautiful in it,” Mistress Park commented.

They got out successfully from the boutique with a breathtaking dark blue dress and Youngji being alive, even from the many unpleasant moments she had in the boutique. She would remind herself in the future to be more aware of Mistress Park’s not-so-subtle way of implying that a wedding was actually being planned secretly. Frankly speaking, Youngji would not even be surprised if she got back home one day and found Chanyeol with a sulky face, wearing a nice tuxedo with a cute bowtie while holding the box of the wedding ring.

“We should go to a hotel and pay for a room so that you can change comfortably. I don’t want you to change in the public restroom and our house is actually too far from this place; it will take more time to reach the Kim’s venue.”  

Like usual, Youngji nodded like a loyal android. She didn’t put much thought on her action, until when Mistress Park and her began walking and approaching the car – then she ended up thinking about how much thought she should rake from her mind right now.

Kim Jongdae was standing in front of her, looking radiant as ever even while he was holding a non-elegant shopping bag with Strawberry Shortcake prints on it and flips flops.

“Good evening, Mistress Park. It’s certainly surprising to meet you at this place, in this kind hour,” Jongdae began the conversation after he gave a subtle look at Youngji.

“Kim Jongdae, isn’t it?” Mistress Park inquired, yet she didn’t even wait for Jongdae’s response before she continued speaking. “You are one of Chanyeol’s friends,” she stated.

“Yes, I am –“

“And perhaps, are you the one who used to come to our house and claimed that a studying session was being held although I could clearly hear noises and obnoxious laughter?”

By now, Jongdae’s face was already stiff. She clearly dislikes me.  

“I’m really sorry for all the inconveniences,” Jongdae muttered.

Mistress Park smiled while patting Jongdae’s shoulder. “It’s fine, young man. What’s a teenager without regrets and mistakes?”

Jongdae was quiet for a while. “Not-a-teenager?”

“Not so witty, young man,” Mistress Park commented while frowning. “By the way, this is Kang Youngji – I have no idea if you already met her at school – and she’s our soon-to-be new family member.”

“Family member?” he questioned in horror. He glanced at Youngji, who was actually already freaking out inside although she looked perfectly composed outside. She looked like a walking doll with a permanent sweet smile on her face – though now, Jongdae won’t be able to describe the smile as sweet. It seemed as if she was mocking him – although he knew that Youngji won’t even dare to do that kind of thing to anyone. But she knows that I like Chanyeol, he thought, feeling the silent pain stabbing him over and over again.

“I’m going to make this lovely girl as my daughter-in-law,” Mistress Park said playfully, completely oblivious to the change of atmosphere. From her perspective, she still saw a carefree young guy holding a cute shopping bag and a perfect daughter-in-law standing quietly on the ground.

“I see,” Jongdae murmured while fidgeting with the straps of his Strawberry Shortcake shopping bag.

“It’s really pleasant to have a conversation with you, young man, but Chanyeol’s probably already waiting at the venue and we won’t want him to be sulking alone. I want Youngji to at least mend his broken heart,” Mistress Park continued talking with her playful comments which she thought was funny. What she didn’t know was the Strawberry Shortcake young man in front of her was already burnt.

Youngji moved towards Jongdae when Mistress Park was suddenly distracted by her new founding – which came in the form of cute ornaments.

“Jongdae, she was just trying to be funny –“

“I got it. Yeah, I do,” Jongdae interfered with her sentence. “Is this some kind of arranged-marriage stuff? Because you should’ve told me earlier. You should add the ‘but his parents want us to get married’ after the sentence ‘I don’t like Chanyeol anymore’. If you had done this before, I won’t” – he took a deep breath –“I won’t do whatever I’m doing right now. I won’t be ing stupid to actually do something that I thought will work.”  

“I’m sorry,” she whispered while holding back her tears. She felt so bad.

He shook his head weakly. “No,” he said harshly. “I am sorry. I’m so sorry for messing with Chanyeol-Youngji happily ever after life.”

Her words were stuck in , and maybe – maybe it wasn’t just her mere caring feeling towards him that made every word muttered by him to taste bitter.

Maybe Kang Youngji wanted a happily ever after with Kim Jongdae, instead of Park Chanyeol.