“What did you say he did again?” Hakyeon asked as he thumbed at a magazine, lying on his bed.

“I don’t remember. Something about the movement of products or something. We’ve only talked about it a couple times. He gets…” Wonshik paused and made a face.

“He gets what?” Hakyeon asked.

“I don’t know. He gets really uncomfortable and changes the subject.” Wonshik was lying on his back on the floor of Hakyeon’s dorm room. When he woke up that morning, Jaehwan was gone and on top of Wonshik’s computer was a note scribbled on a scrap paper from his desk that read,

I’m so sorry. I don’t know when I’ll see you again but thank you.
-J

When Wonshik had read it, he felt his stomach drop. He had so many unanswered question. All the things they didn’t talk about the night before. Wonshik had held Jaehwan until they both fell asleep. It took a while for Jaehwan’s tears to stop and even longer for exhaustion to knock him out. When Wonshik woke up he hadn’t expected some fairy tale morning with Jaehwan, but he had hoped he would still be there. Call him naïve but an empty bed and a one line note was not what he had expected, though it should have been.

He didn’t know if he should tell Hakyeon all the details or not but he didn’t know what to do. He couldn’t go to the police. He wasn’t a witness. He couldn’t complain to the club because it hadn’t happened in the building. Now Jaehwan was gone again and Wonshik didn’t even have a phone number to call.

So, he ended up where he was now. On Hakyeon’s floor.

“You sure it wasn’t a jealous ex-boyfriend or something?” Hakyeon offered.

“If it was, don’t you think he would have gone after me?”

“I don’t know ‘Shik. It seems kind of sketchy to me. I mean he’s a nice guy and I do like him, but how much do you really know about him?” Hakyeon glanced at him from his magazine.

“I know he travels a lot. He’s been a lot of places.”

“You honestly believe someone our age has the money to travel all over the world like that?” Hakyeon deadpanned.

“Well…not exactly but even if he did lie about all the places he’s been, I know he at least has a vivid imagination.” Wonshik said as he continued to stare at the ceiling.

Hakyeon hummed in disapproval.

“You know, one time I asked him if he had any more stories about his tattoos and he showed me a dragon he has down his side. He told me he got it when he walked The Great Wall of China from one end to the other.”

“You believed that? You realize it’s five thousand miles long, right?”

“Yeah. But…you never know. He has a fighting spirit. I could see him going on a wild adventure like that. And even if he was lying, maybe he doesn’t want to remember why he got them. Maybe he tells me the stories because he doesn’t want me to know. Like, what if what happened last night was something from his past? I wouldn’t want to remember that either.” Wonshik closed his eyes when images of Jaehwan, bloody and broken, crossed his mind.

“Then maybe the bartender was right and you shouldn’t get involved. I mean he knows where you live, where you sleep. If he has dudes beating him up in alleyways, there’s no telling what he could be involved in.” Hakyeon had tossed his magazine to the side by then.

“I don’t know but I’m worried about him.” Wonshik opened his eyes and turned to look at Hakyeon.

“I know. It’ll be okay. You’ll see him again soon, I’m sure.” Hakyeon offered as he laid his head down on his arms.

“I hope so.” Wonshik said, turning to look back at the ceiling.

--

A week went by and Wonshik hadn’t bumped into Jaehwan. Not at the store, not in the courtyard at school, not at the café. He hadn’t even shown up at Wonshik’s dorm. Finals were coming up but all Wonshik had on his mind was Jaehwan. Was he okay? Had his injuries been too bad? Was he lying in a ditch somewhere? Was he too embarrassed to come see him?

“Hello? Earth to Kim Wonshik?”

“Don’t even try, Bin. He’s a lost cause.” Hakyeon said, rolling his eyes.

“Still caught up on that guy, huh?” Hongbin, a friend Hakyeon had introduced him to, teased.

“I’m not caught up on him. I’m worried.” Wonshik said as he tried to refocus on the notes he was supposed to be studying.

“You’re completely caught up on him.” Hongbin laughed. Wonshik didn’t comment on it.

“I still think you should let it go. It was okay while it lasted but you missed your opportunity, found out he has baggage, and now he’s M.I.A.” Hakyeon said as he stuffed a doughnut into his mouth.

Wonshik rolled his eyes.

“If he does have a troubled past, it really might not be a good idea to get into it with this guy, you know? I mean Hak said the guy got beaten up behind a club. There has to be a reason for that.” Hongbin proffered as he tried to steal one of the doughnuts in front of Hakyeon.

Wonshik sighed and ran his hands down his face.

“I don’t know. Maybe you’re right. But I can’t just drop all thoughts about him. That’s not how it works.”

Hakyeon stared at him as he continued to try and look over his notes. He could tell Wonshik wasn’t sleeping. The bags under his eyes were only growing every day. His mood had taken a 180 and his smile seemingly disappeared with Jaehwan. Hakyeon knew you couldn’t get over someone in the blink of an eye, but he had figured Wonshik was smart enough to realize that Jaehwan was in a difficult situation. Humans are different than lost puppies. A lost puppy wouldn’t bring the same kind of baggage and consequences like a troubled person would. He was only worried for his best friend.

--

The semester came to a close as finals ended and a month had passed since Wonshik had seen Jaehwan. It was two days until the new year and Hakyeon was growing tired.

“This new routine of yours isn’t healthy.” Hakyeon bemoaned as he followed Wonshik across the courtyard.

Wonshik had taken to going to the café every day, making sure to pass through the courtyard, by the fountain, just in case. He had also stayed in his dorm instead of going out.

“Just in case Jaehwan shows up and needs help.” he had said.

“I don’t know what you’re talking about.” Wonshik huffed from in front of him.

“You know exactly what I’m talking about. You go to the café every day. You walk the same path, every day. You go to the grocery twice a week now. You’re obsessing over Jaehwan and it’s not healthy.”

“Who said any of this was for Jaehwan?” Wonshik questioned.

Hakyeon rolled his eyes.

“You really expect me to take this with a smile? My best friend is hurting himself over some guy he barely knows and I’m supposed to believe him when I can see what is right in front of me?”

"I can't just leave this alone, Hak. I was really starting to like him! I opened up to him. I thought he was opening up to me too but then..." he taperd off.

"I hate seeing you falling apart like this. You need to do the adult thing and get over it and move on."

Wonshik looked at him for a moment before turning away.

"Where are you going?" Hakyeon called after him.

"I don't know. I need to walk for a while." Wonshik said over his shoulder.

"If you need me," Hakyeon trailed off.

"I'll call you if I do."

Hakyeon watched him as he went and wondered if he should follow but decided it was best to give him his moment.

--

They say time heals all wounds. They try to tell you that if you give it a while, you will forget. That everything will get better. That eventually you won't feel so bad. Wonshik didn't know if that was true or not but he did realize that ultimately you do have to grow up and get over whatever was bothering you no matter how difficult it proved to be.

Four months passed before his eyes. April brought warmer air and fresh growth on the trees. The nights were still chilly but the days grew a little longer with each passing day. Wonshik was nearing the end of the second to last semester before he would have his masters degree. Just thinking about his future brought him mild anxiety. The unknown being exciting yet worrisome. The fear of having worked so hard for so long only to be turned down by the board, or being unable to find a good job, lingered. Every day brought on new stressors. But the closer he was to being done, the better he felt about himself. Knowing he was so close to accomplishing something that no one, not even himself, thought he would.

Between the pile of assignments he had this semester and studying for finals, thoughts of Jaehwan had taken the back burner. Hakyeon didn't bring him up for fear of reviving Wonshik's bad habits of staying up too late worrying or obsessively following the same daily routine in the off chance of running into him. Taekwoon also knew better than to say anything.

He and Taekwoon had actually become pretty good friends over the last few months. Dating Hakyeon had meant they spent a lot of time together anyway, but working together on their project gave them a lot of time to share stories and toss ideas back and forth. He found that Taekwoon had a calming presence. When you got passed the intimidation, Taekwoon was all small smiles and soft edges. He could sit with Taekwoon, not having to talk about anything, and take in the world around him without worry. Whereas Hakyeon was the hurricane of a man, Taekwoon was more like a spring shower. A soft pitter-patter of a rain. Something he didn't even know he had needed.

His mind still wondered to Jaehwan every once in a while but once he caught himself thinking about him, Wonshik would open his laptop and start working on a song or polishing something he already had saved. It had been hard at first. Jaehwan had come into his life in a whirlwind and just as fast as he entered, he had disappeared without a trace. But, there was nothing Wonshik could do and he learned that after weeks of moping around and being berated by Hakyeon.

But then again, Wonshik had never had the conventional life and things liked to take a sharp right turn at any given moment.

So...hi!

It's been a year since I updated this story, or written anything in general for that matter. A lot has happened and I'm in a different place than I was twelve months ago.

Let me start by telling you a little story.

I actually got a job a few days after my last update. I took a month away from fandom to be able to get accustomed to my new schedule and I had every intention to keep up with my writing and everything else. But then hours picked up and I started clocking 70 hour work weeks. Every. Week. Fast forward to May and I'm still working those same hours. I'm exhausted, rundown, and never finding the time to enjoy my hobbies.

Then I got hurt.

In mid-May I suffered a major injury to my shoulder and neck while at work. After 13 doctor's appointments, 24 physical therapy sessions, 14 dry needling treatments, 2 MRIs, and 5 months of ridicule from my bosses, I was still not healed. I'm still not healed even today. I am in constant pain, my left arm likes to go numb every once in a while, and I suffer from the worst headaches I've had in my life. But there's nothing the doctors could do for me.

On top of all that, since I graduated college, they took away my Microsoft license and I no longer had access to anything. I couldn't even open my documents. All the notes I had on anything I had written the last 3 years, were gone. By some strange miracle, I got a new laptop and after I transferred everything, I discovered this computer has WordPad and it opens my old files! It's not as good as Word but it's enough for now.

All that being said, this chapter is all I have to show for the last year. It was written last December and all I did was proofread it a little. I sincerely apologize as an author, as someone you guys looked to to provide entertainment, as a person who also hates when authors don't update for months at a time. Could I have found other ways to write? Absolutely. But I also haven't been into it. I unfortunately don't even listen to kpop all that often these days. There's just no time. I've lost interest in a lot of things and this year I reached a really low point. But I'm here, I'm going to try and start writing again (with no promises right now), and I'm going to force myself out of this slump.

I hope everyone has been well. Thank you to everyone who stuck around and read this.