Water... water...

 

That was the first thought on Kim Taeyeon's mind as she slowly stirred awake. was parched and she couldn't understand why her head was hurting so badly.

 

Slowly, she opened her eyes and everything was dark around her. As much as her mind was still in a groggy state, Taeyeon knew that she wasn't in her bedroom. She let her eyes slowly adjust and then she realised that she was hooked up to a hospital machine.

 

For a moment, she panicked and the machine started beeping a little louder, indicating that her tension is rising. Why was she hooked up to a machine? Why was she in a hospital?

 

Taeyeon's hand clambered around until her fingers felt the smooth plastic of a remote by her bed. She bought it in front of her face and pressed on the red button, calling for a nurse as she tried to wreck her brain as to how she got here. Nothing. She couldn't recall how she had gotten here.

 

Think, Tae, think!

 

She remembered the SNSD Tokyo Dome concert... Wait, that was a few weeks ago.

 

Think harder!

 

She remembered flashes of images of them re-filming their new single Catch Me If You Can after Jessica's departure...

 

That was about it. Seems right. Was it yesterday that they were re-filming the music video? Wait, this doesn't explain how she landed in the hospital.

 

Frantically, Taeyeon swung her legs off the bed and drew in a sharp breath when she realised that the simple action actually made her hip hurt a lot. What in the world was going on?

 

Gingerly, she slipped off the bed, landing gently on her two feet and winced when she felt a slight pain shooting up her right thigh. As Taeyeon tried to take a step forward, she felt a wave of giddiness hit her and she stumbled. Quickly grabbing on to the night stand for support, Taeyeon blinked rapidly, trying to make the black spots in her eyes disappear.

 

The hospital door swung open and a nurse stepped in and switched on the lights.

 

“Taeyeon-ssi! Why are you out of the bed? Please return back to bed. You need more rest!” The nurse said frantically.

 

The nurse quickly helped Taeyeon back to bed as Taeyeon felt the whole room swirling.

 

“W-Why am I here?” Taeyeon murmured weakly.

 

“... accident... thank goodnes you...”

 

Taeyeon felt her eyes flutter close as she could only catch that few words from the nurse. Accident? What accident?


“W-Wha...?” Taeyeon murmured weakly.


It was as though the nurse couldn't hear her as Taeyeon heard the nurse calling out, “Doctor, Kim Taeyeon's finally awake!”

 

Before Taeyeon could ask any more questions, all she could see was darkness as her eyelids fluttered close and she drifted off.

 

=========================

 

“Shouldn't she be awake by now?”

 

“Shh! Don't speak so loud. Let her rest.”

 

“I hope unnie will be okay... The nurse said she woke up yesterday but was still very weak.”

 

Before Taeyeon opened her eyes, she could hear the familiar voices of her members around her. She recognised the first voice to be Tiffany, followed by Hyoyeon and then Seohyun.

 

“Look, unnie looks like she's waking up!” Yoona whispered.

 

Taeyeon opened her eyes and squinted. The sun was too bright. Sunny seemed to notice and quickly crossed the room and shut the curtains.

 

“Oh my god, you're awake!” Tiffany cried in relief and embraced Taeyeon gently.

 

“W-Water.” Taeyeon croaked out after Tiffany let her go.

 

With a glass of water already in hand, Sooyoung handed it to Taeyeon who immediately downed the whole glass.

 

Sooyoung then took the empty glass from Taeyeon and set it down on the table. Taeyeon blinked as she stared at her friends and manager standing in front of her.

 

“Thank goodness you're okay.” Yuri said with a smile.

 

“Yeah, Tae, it's been like three days.” Tiffany chipped in. “We had been so worried.”

 

“The doctor will be here in a second.” Their manager said. “You feeling better, Taeyeon?”

 

Taeyeon made no reply as all she could do was stare at the people in front of her. When did their manager dye his hair? Wasn't it brown a few days ago? And Hyoyeon... why is her hair so short all of a sudden? Sunny and Sooyoung's hair was also shorter! Tiffany's hair was also back to black...

 

Did all of them change their hairstyle in just three days? That was strange. She thought that their hairstyles were already decided when they were re-filming the MV.

 

“Why isn't she talking?” Sunny asked worriedly.

 

“Taeng, you okay?” Tiffany asked.

 

“Unnie, please don't scare us!” Seohyun's eyes widened.

 

Taeyeon blinked, “I'm fine. Sorry. I was just wondering...”

 

“Wondering about what?” Yoona asked.

 

“What's with the new hairstyles? Why the sudden change again?” Taeyeon asked.

 

Sooyoung raised an eyebrow as she touched her hair, “New hairstyle? How is this new?”

 

“Are you talking about me t my bangs?” Tiffany asked.

 

“No, no...” Taeyeon replied impatiently. “Hyoyeon, your hair is so much shorter. Sooyoung and Sunny too. And Fany, you dyed yours back to black. Everyone's hairstyle is different. Are we suppose to change a new concept again?”

 

There were confused looks exchanged between her members as they self-conciously touched their hair, wondering what was Taeyeon talking about.

 

Finally, Yuri spoke up, “What are you talking about, Taeyeon? This has been our style since Lion Heart.”

 

Taeyeon frowned sleepily. Was she hearing things again? Lion what? What in the world is Yuri babbling about?

 

Before Taeyeon could question any further, the doctor entered and interrupted them as he ran some checks on Taeyeon.

 

He shone a torchlight into her eyes. Checked her temperature and recorded the readings on the machine that was hooked up to her.

 

“How is she?” Sunny asked.

 

“She seems to be recovering. Everything seems alright for now.” The doctor replied. “Thankfully she was sent over in time. Her cuts will heal so don't worry about it.”

 

“W-Wait a minute.” Taeyeon interrupted. “How did I get here?”

 

Everyone shot Taeyeon a surprised look and then Seohyun replied carefully, “You were in a car accident, unnie. Don't you remember?”

 

“Car accident?” Taeyeon repeated slowly.

 

“Yeah,” Tiffany said. “Friday night, don't you remember? You were driving back to Jeonju and your car hit a truck.”

 

Taeyeon shut her eyes as she tried to recall. Weren't they all busy preparing for their comeback without Jessica? How could she have time to head back to her hometown? She couldn't remember heading back to Jeonju, much less an accident.

 

Her friends could see that she was struggling to remember and their faces turned worried again.

 

“Did the accident actually mess up her brain?” Hyoyeon asked worriedly.

 

The doctor frowned, “Maybe. Sometimes patients tend to forget about the accident from being traumatised too much on the first day. Give her another day and she may slowly start to recall. Not just the accident. Some patients may even lose a few days worth of memories.”

 

Taeyeon stared at the doctor. That must be it. She must be feeling too traumatised to actually remember a thing.

 

Baby steps, Tae... Perhaps you'll start remembering from tomorrow...

 

“Don't worry too much, Taeyeon,” Their manager said. “You have a lot of time to rest since you've finished filming the CF for Samdasoo.”

 

“Yeah, our next Phantasia concert will be in a while so take the time to rest, unnie.” Seohyun smiled.

 

“Samdasoo? And what concert?” Taeyeon asked, confused.

 

“Samdasoo water. You just went to Jeju with Kyuhyun to film the CF, remember?” Their manager said.

 

Taeyeon stared ahead... What's going on? Why are everyone babbling about funny names? First, there was the Lion somthing... And what's up with Samdasoo water? And Fantasy concert?

 

“Fantasy concert?” Taeyeon stared at Seohyun.

 

“Phantasia.” Tiffany corrected.

 

Subconciously, Taeyeon smoothed her hair but suddenly, she froze when she realised that her hair felt short. Very short in fact. It was short like in 2011, during The Boys era.

 

“What's wrong with my hair?” Taeyeon's eyes widened. “Get me a mirror.”

 

“Your hair?” Yoona peered. “It looks fine, unnie.”

 

“Mirror. Hand me a mirror!” Taeyeon panicked, her hand already outstretched.

 

Yuri leapt towards her bag and grabbed her mirror. She passed it to Taeyeon and when Taeyeon held it up and stared at herself, she almost had a heart attack.

 

Blonde?! When did she chop off her long black locks and went all blonde? Her hair was barely touching her shoulders!

 

“W-What happened to my hair?!” She shrieked.

 

Wrong move to shriek as Taeyeon immediately felt a sharp pain in her head. She winced and shut her eyes momentarily and then took a dreep breath and opened them again.

 

She startled her members and all seven of them rushed forward immediately.

 

“Taeyeon, are you okay? What are you talking about?” Sunny asked, concerned.

 

“Your hair wasn't damaged from the accident. See? It's all good.” Sooyoung said assuringly.

 

“Tae, are you seeing things? Is the accident causing you to hallucinate?” Tiffany asked worriedly.

 

“Should I call the doctor? Are you in pain anywhere?” Yuri asked.

 

Taeyeon clamped her eyes shut as she tried to drown out their voices. All the chatter was making her head ache again.

 

“Stop!” She finally cried out, distressed.

 

Everyone fell silent immediately as they stared at Taeyeon, cautious and afraid.

 

No one dared to speak until finally with a quivering voice, Taeyeon said, “I don't know what's going on...”

 

Her voice sounded weak and scared and her members knew immediately that something was very wrong.

 

Tiffany said slowly, “Don't be scared, Taeng... What do you mean exactly?”

 

Taeyeon was on the verge of tears as she cried out, “When did I cut my hair? I can't remember! And what concert were you guys talking about? When did I head to Jeju with Kyuhyun oppa?!”

 

Her outburst shocked everyone in the room as they stared at their friend. Everyone had the same thought... Did Taeyeon lose a few months worth of memories?

 

Slowly, Tiffany replied, “Taeyeon, you cut your hair shortly after MAMA. You ruined your hair by dyeing it and stylist unnie had to cut it off for you.”

 

Taeyeon stared blankly at Tiffany. Everything that came out from Tiffany's mouth sounded so strange.

 

“Taeyeon, tell us your most recent memories.” Sunny said, trying a different approach.

 

“Yeah, relax, unnie, don't worry. Take your time.” Seohyun encouraged.

 

Taeyeon took a deep breath and she said, “I remember our Tokyo Dome concert... and I think the latest was us re-filming Catch Me If You Can...”

 

There was a shocked silence in the room as Taeyeon stared at her friends who were gaping at her.

 

“What?” Taeyeon asked. “D-Did I lose a few weeks of memories?”

 

“N-No...” Yoona stammered, shocked.

 

“Then what? Two months?” Taeyeon asked frantically.

 

Sooyoung asked slowly, “What year is it, Taeyeon?”

 

Taeyeon her lips nervously, “2015...”

 

“Oh no...” Sunny mumbled.

 

“Taeyeon,” Tiffany said gently. “It's the year 2016 right now.”

 

Taeyeon felt her jaw drop as she stared wide-eyed at her friends. Were they pulling a joke on her? It has to be... right? How can she lose one year of memories?

 

“You're joking, right?' Taeyeon asked. “You must be joking. Guys, stop it. It's not funny.”

 

No one made a reply and Taeyeon turned to Seohyun, “Tell me the truth. You won't lie to me, Seohyun. You guys are just joking, right?”

 

Seohyun struggled to reply, “We're not joking, unnie. It's April 2016.”

 

Taeyeon took a deep breath and tried to calm herself down, “That's not possible.”

 

“Here, see if any of these jogs your memory.” Sooyoung said as she put her phone on Taeyeon's hands.

 

Taeyeon stared at the photo in front of her. All eight members were on a beach. Were they having a photoshoot or filming a CF? Taeyeon also realised that her hair was pink. Good god, did all these really happen and she completely forgot?

 

“We were in Thailand filming our single Party.” Yuri explained. “It was shortly after CMIYC.”

 

Taeyeon scrolled through the photos as her members explained.

 

“That's Lion Heart. Remember the awards we've gotten?” Sunny asked.


Tiffany pointed to another photo, “Look, that's our TTS album, Dear Santa.”

 

“Unnie, you can't possibly forget your own solo.” Yoona said.

 

Taeyeon stared at a photo of herself with blonde hair holding an award in her hand. It looks like a MAMA award.

 

“Look,” Sooyoung swiped to the next photo. “That's your new single's photo for Rain.”

 

A wave of dizziness hit Taeyeon and then she felt a sharp pain in her head. Taeyeon gasped as she clutched her head and closed her eyes.

 

“Are you okay?” Her members asked frantically.

 

As the pain slowly disappeared, Taeyeon opened her eyes to see that her doctor has returned.

 

“What's wrong with her?” Their manager asked worriedly.

 

“She lost a year of her memories!” Yoona exclaimed. “Will Taeyeon unnie be okay? Is the memory loss just temporary?”

 

“A year?” The doctor asked. “Well, that could be possible since her accident was pretty serious.”

 

“Why do I still feel dizzy?” Taeyeon asked weakly. “And my head... it was hurting very badly a while ago.”

 

“Were you trying to remember?” The doctor asked.

 

“Yes.”

 

The doctor shook his head, “Then you need to stop that. Don't put that kind of pressure on your brain for now, Taeyeon. You need to rest. Don't worry, the memories will return.”

 

“When?” Taeyeon asked immediately.

 

“I can't say when, Taeyeon. Every patient recovers at different rates. All I can tell you is that you have been through a lot. And what you need now is a lot of rest.”

 

The doctor then turned to the other seven girls, “Try not to force Taeyeon into remembering at all. Let her take it slow.”

 

“Is it definite that Taeyeon unnie will get her memories back?” Seohyun asked nervously.

 

“Nothing is definite in this case but Taeyeon will be back regularly for check ups and reviews. We'll help her with the process. It shouldn't be a problem.” The doctor replied.

 

Taeyeon felt her spirits plunge further when she noticed the pitiful looks her friends were now giving her.

 

“Come on girls,” Their manager said. “Let Taeyeon rest. We should go.”

 

“W-Wait,” Taeyeon called out. “I need to know more-

 

“You need to rest,” Their manager oppa replied firmly. “Please rest, Taeyeon.”

 

“I'll be back in a few hours, okay?' Tiffany whispered and hugged Taeyeon. “Don't worry and rest, Taeng.”

 

Taeyeon didn't want her friends to go. She felt alone and for the first time in a very long time, Taeyeon felt scared. But all Taeyeon could do was to see her friends and manager leave after they bid their goodbyes.

 

The doctor handed her a pill and Taeyeon took it dutifully. Thankfully, she was dozing off again due to the pill and her worries were cast aside in the meantime.

 

=============================

 

“You shouldn't drive like this!”

 

“Let me go!”

 

“Let me drive instead!”

 

“Just leave me alone! I don't even want to look at you right now!”

 

Taeyeon tossed and turned, her eyebrows knitted into a frown as she slept. She was dreaming... Two people were arguing. She couldn't see anything. It was all black and the voices were muffled. But Taeyeon was certain that the voices belonged to a man and woman.

 

The images were starting to appear but this time, the two people seemed to have disappeared. There was an image of a huge truck. The headlights from the truck were too bright. So bright... Taeyeon squinted and then there was a loud crash and Taeyeon's eyes flew open.

 

She was breathing heavily as she fought to catch her breath. That dream... Was it purely a dream or did it really happen?

 

The room was dark and then a figure shifted nearby which startled Taeyeon. She was about to scream when the figure flicked on the lights and she heaved a sigh of relief to see that it was only Byun Baekhyun, her boyfriend.

 

“You're awake.” Baekhyun said as he walked over.

 

“H-Hi.” Taeyeon whispered with a small smile.

 

Baekhyun walked over and sat on the chair beside her bed. Taeyeon stared at him. Baekhyun's here. Does that mean that they are still together? A lot could have happened between them but Taeyeon was sure that if they had broken up, Baekhyun wouldn't be here alone in her room at night, visiting her.

 

“You feeling better?' Baekhyun asked with a smile.

 

“Yeah,” Taeyeon mumbled as she sat up in bed. “B-Baek... I'm not sure if you've heard but...”

 

“That you've lose a year of memories?” Baekhyun continued. “I've heard from Tiffany noona.”

 

“Ah...” Taeyeon said slowly. “So, I may be a little confused... But between us, everything is okay, right?”

 

Baekhyun stared at Taeyeon for a second and then with a laugh, he replied, “Us? Oh, you mean... Yeah, we're fine. We're still a couple if that's what you're wondering.”

 

Taeyeon broke into a relieved smile, “Thank god.”

 

“I've got to go actually.” Baekhyun said as he looked at his phone.

 

“Already?' Taeyeon's shoulders sagged in disappointment.

 

“Yeah, I have a recording that starts soon. Rest well.” Baekhyun said and then dropped a kiss on the top of Taeyeon's head.

 

Before Taeyeon could protest, he was up and gone just like that. Well, he was still the same, it seems. The same disappoinment she remembered feeling in 2015 was still the same.

 

Again, she was alone. Taeyeon wondered where her phone was and she felt like an invalid without it. She has so many questions. Does her family know she's here? If so, where were they? She stared at the clock in her room. It was almost two in the morning. She had been asleep for a very long time.

 

Taeyeon's gaze drifted to her bedside table as she was about to pour herself a drink. She was about to reach out for a glass when something on the bedside table made her stop. There was a bouquet of purple roses and a card.

 

I dropped by but you were asleep. I couldn't bear to wake you. I love you so much, Taeyeon.