2017

Sunggyu had to take a call from the office so he retreated to a corner in the studio, blocking out Woohyun and Howon as they talked animatedly with Sungyeol. By the time he returned, Sungyeol wasn’t in the studio anymore. Instead, Woohyun and Howon stood, huddled over a blank sheet of canvas, whispering to each other… speaking as if they wanted to enter into each other’s mouths.

If this was three years ago, Sunggyu was sure he’d feel a pang of jealousy. But they were all past that now. Everything had changed and Sunggyu didn’t think there was anything to fight for anymore.

*****

2014

Sunggyu hated Howon from the moment they met. He was sleek and graceful and didn’t feel the need to fill empty silences the way Sunggyu did whenever it was just the two of them. There was also the added bonus that when Woohyun was around, he seemed so enamored by anything Howon did.

Howon did the dishes like a pro.

Howon did laundry like a pro.

Howon danced like a pro.

Howon even flirted like a pro.

Sunggyu hated him. Just like a pro would.

However, with Woohyun circling Howon for weeks and doing absolutely nothing about it, Sunggyu figured it was his time to step up. He’d put it off long enough. And he wasn’t about to bank on his future with Woohyun on the chance that Woohyun would have the restraint to not seduce Howon into his bed. If Sunggyu was going to confess, he had to do it now.

The first thing he did was get a haircut. And then he went down to the bakery and ordered some pastries before stopping by the wine shop on the way home and the grocery store. It had been a while since he was sure he’d have the house all to himself. Woohyun would be home, but Howon’s company had whisked him away for an MT. So this was the night.

Sunggyu was going to do it.

But when he got home that night, there was a strange pair of shoes in the fore room. Praying with all his might that his thoughts might be wrong, Sunggyu dropped the wine on the dining room table and tipped toe up the stairs until he came to Woohyun’s room where he could hear the distinct sound of skin, smacking against skin, as an unnamed, unfamiliar man moaned in throaty ecstasy at the hands of Woohyun.

Backing away from the door, Sunggyu walked back to his room. He slipped in, closed the door and fell to the floor, feeling the tears rolling down the side of his face.

*****

Sunggyu had never been one to delude himself. He knew where his mind went when it wandered and he didn’t shy away from daydreams or pretend that they weren’t happening. He liked to embrace every experience as it came because he’d come to realize that while sad situations often caused him to lose a lot of body salt, he also got good writing out of it.

He was an angry writer and he liked it.

But for some reason, this time, the anger couldn’t translate to lyrics or tunes or beats or anything. He just felt empty and angry and nothing. He sat in the studio for the whole day, barely registering that he’d had nothing to eat. By the time it was night, the door creaked open and Woohyun peeped in holding two packets of food.

“Hungry?” He asked.

“No.”

“I haven’t seen you all day.”

“I’m busy.”

“I can see that.” Woohyun said sarcastically.

“Do you want something?” Sunggyu snapped, belatedly wishing he hadn’t as Woohyun looked hurt.

“I was just… I wanted to- yeah.” Woohyun waved and exited the room, l