Personal
Dribs and DrabsWalking back into their room after his shower, Seungri took a moment to observe the emotional mess on the bed that was his boyfriend. Although smiling that gummy goofy smile of his, his eyes were wet with tears that had run in overwhelmed rivulets down his face. He was just staring at his laptop screen, still looking completely overcome by what he'd just watched.
Slipping on his boxers, Seungri joined his boyfriend on the bed. Sidling right up to him, knowing Jiyong needed the comfort right now.
“You know I'm not going to be able to show this right?” He asked in complete seriousness.
“I know,” Seungri admitted easily, he was aware of that when he recorded the video.
“You'll have to do it again,” Jiyong mused, his eyes still lingering on the paused image of his boyfriend on the screen. “But a more public version.”
Smiling at his boyfriend's remark, Seungri took Jiyong's hand intimately in his. “No, I'm not doing another video.” Jiyong turned to face him, Seungri could already see the protest his boyfriend was about to make and stopped him before he had the chance. “You wanted to know who Kwon Jiyong is to me, right? Well I told you. You got my most honest, sincere feelings,” Seungri spoke openly, which was the complete truth.
Jiyong smiled, but his emotions took hold again as he listened to his lover and tears welled quickly in his eyes. Brushing them away before they could spill, Jiyong took a few deep breaths to settle his emotions, to hold them at bay. “Still, you know I can't show it on tour. It's too personal.”
“It doesn't matter,” Seungri assured him, his eyes cast over Jiyong's face as he moved a few strands of hair away from Jiyong's eyes.
“Everyone else's video's will be shown though, and the fans will be wondering why there isn't a video from Bigbang's maknae. They'll be thinking up all kind of weird scenario's like we're not that close, that there's problems in the group.” Jiyong surmised, summing up other people's reaction to the fact there'll be no video from Seungri.
Once again though, Seungri just smiled. “It doesn't matter,” he repeated. “We know, right? And besides, as awful as it might sound - this video isn't for the fans. This is my video, with my sincere feelings for you... about you...” the youngest acknowledged. “Its for you, nobody else.”
Tears once again welled in Jiyong's eyes, although he tried to maintain eye contact it was too difficult as those tears threatened to erupt into life like unruly fountains.
Shifting into a more comfortable position with Jiyong lying up against Seungri's broad chest, the older of the two moved the cursor to the beginning of the video before pressing play so they could watch the video again, this time together.
* * *
Jiyong had been anticipating the video, Seungri was one of the last people to give him his. He'd waited to give it to Jiyong personally rather than sending it from abroad. He'd only just got back from Japan, and Jiyong was waiting for him eagerly, knowing he was going to get the video when his boyfriend got back.
Seungri had left him to it, leaving Jiyong to watch the video in private because he felt that was the right thing to do considering the content.
Jiyong got his laptop out and quickly entered the USB. He was anxious as he waited for the file to load up before he quickly selected the video. Truthfully he was expecting humour. His boyfriend wasn't good at expressing his feelings and usually masked them with humour.
But what Jiyong got was something completely different, something completely unexpected.
The video started with Seungri having positioned the camera, and was moving back into a more comfortable position on the bed. He was only wearing a hotel white robe, his hair kind of messy after a long day. Honestly, he looked tired, exhausted even – but he also looked thoughtful as he took a moment to decide what he was going to say.
“Who is Kwon Jiyong to you?” He asked himse
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