I heard footsteps slowly  approach me. “Eun Mi?” I gasped as I lifted my head expectantly. Oh. It was just Hyunseung hyung. Hyunseung hyung was my best friend, my pillar of support.

“Come on Junhyung, manager hyung is looking for you. He wants to discuss our new album concept with us.”Hyunseung hyung informed me.

“… Junhyung?” I ignored him and continued staring blankly at the horizon, at the beautiful setting sun. But its beauty could never compare to that of Eun Mi’s.

He sighed and sat down next to me on the sand. “Still thinking of her, Jun?” I lifelessly nodded my head. He sighed again. “It’s been six months, dongsaeng.”

“So?” I snapped. I immediately regretted when I saw him jump slightly with shock. I hung my head. “Sorry hyung, I didn’t mean it. Its just… I can’t forget her, no matter how hard I try. Sometimes I’m convinced that she’s still mine, that my life’s still a perfect fairytale.”

He put his arm on my shoulder. “I understand. But we’d better get going now before manager hyung gets really mad.” I nodded reluctantly and swiftly slipped my notebook into my pocket. Nobody needs to know about it. He helped me up and fetched me to our dorm.

Apparently manager hyung wants me to write the title song for our latest album. The genre and content was entirely up to me, and I was really burdened with the task, as all I usually did was write short raps. Not wanting to disappoint him, I agreed.

After he left for the company, I trudged to my shared room with Hyunseung hyung and plopped myself on the bed, considering the topic of the song. Hmm… about faith? Nah. Too cheesy. Falling in love? Too hard. Argh, why is this so hard?! I was too wrapped up in my internal debate that I didn’t notice Hyunseung hyung enter the room and sit beside me on my bed. He chuckled.

“What you thinking so hard about, Jun?” he mused. I snapped my head up, feeling embarrassed that I didn’t notice him before. “The song. I can’t find a suitable topic for it.” I sighed. He cocked his head to the side, furrowed his eyebrows and stuck his tongue out slightly at the corner of his mouth just like he did when he was thinking hard. I stared at him for awhile, amused at his temporarily distorted face. Then, a lightbulb seemed to light up in his head.

“Write something you’re most comfortable with, something you can totally relate to, or even something you’ve experienced. So that it’ll be easier for you to express your feelings and write and awesome song!” He emphasized on the word ‘awesome’ with exaggerated  hand movements. He grinned to himself, obviously pleased with his suggestion. Mm…something I’ve experienced and something I can relate to… My eyes widened.

“Hyung, do you think I can write about Eun…”I faltered. I couldn’t bear to finish her name. It hurt too much.Our eyes met and a silent understanding passed between us. He rested his hand on my back and rubbed it soothingly. “Do you think you can handle it?” He asked me, his eyes filled with worry. I hesitated, then nodded slowly. He smiled and encouraged me to go for it.

“I’ll be right here sleeping on my bed, so if the memories hurt too much and you can’t handle it, just wake me up okay?” I smiled weakly and nodded. He let out a sigh of relief and climbed onto his bed, after giving me a worried look.

I sat hunched in front of the small table with a piece of paper and a pencil in front of me. This was going to be a long night. I could hear Hyunseung hyung’s deep and slow breathing behind me.All that was left was me and my memories. I closed my eyes and think back on that day. The day my life became empty. The day my soul was stolen from me.

I returned to my shared apartment with Eun Mi after a long day of non-stop variety shows and music programmes. “Yeobo! I’m home!” I yelled out into the apartment while taking off my shoes at the doorstep. I frowned, wondering why there was no response. Maybe she was sleeping? When I walked in, I caught sight of her sitting on the sofa stiffly, glaring daggers at me, as if I had just committed a crime. Puzzled, I sat down next to her on the sofa.

“Baby, what’s wrong?” I asked, putting my arm around her shoulder. She squirmed fiercely under my arm and slapped it off her.

“Don’t ‘baby’ me!” I cringed at her loud tone. What did I do this time? “How dare you have all that skinship with the female idols, and even kiss one of them at a photoshoot?” I stared at her in disbelief. “You’re mad at me because of this? I thought you understood that the directors made me do those things! You’re impossible!”

She gasped. “Oh so now I’M the impossible one? It’s not my fault you’re a spineless born-loser, that you can’t even explain to the directors that you have a girlfriend who will get VERY mad if you do that?!”

I snapped. She just called me spineless. And a born-loser. Much as I didn’t want to add oil to the fire, I couldn’t help my quick temper. “And who are you to say that about me??!!” I screamed at her and slapped her. Oops. I regretted the action as soon as it was done.

She placed her hand on her cheek where it probably stung from where I had slapped her, her head still turned to an angle. With her hair covering her face, I couldn’t see her expression. “Who am I to say that about you huh?” She chuckled bitterly. She slowly turned her head to face me.”Fine. I’m just a nobody. I’m not even anything like the idols you flirted with. I’m not pretty, talented, or even smart. I get it. Sorry for ruining your image. It won’t happen again,” she took her coat, “because we’re over.”

My eyes widened. ‘No!’ I wanted to scream. I wanted to tell her that she was the prettiest, most talented and smartest girl ever in my eyes, but no words would come out of my mouth. I grabbed her hand. “I’m sorry! I didn’t mean it! Please don’t do this, don’t leave.” I begged her. She turned around, and her lifeless eyes bore into mine, sending chills up my spine. “Goodbye Junhyung. It was nice knowing you.” If this was a movie, this would be the part where the boy hugs the girl’s waist, and keeps begging her not to leave. He would tell her how much she meant to him, and how much she loved him. But this wasn’t a movie. As much as I longed to do that, my stupid pride prevented me from doing so. I watched sadly was she walked out of the door of our house, out of my life. I sank deeper into the sofa. I wanted to bang my head against a wall. I wanted to scream until my lungs burst. I wanted to run after her, to stop her. But my body wouldn’t listen to my brain, which was starting to malfunction.

I clutched at my chest. It hurt. So much. The tears flowed uncontrollably, staining my face, ruining my makeup, which I have yet to remove. But that didn’t matter. Nothing mattered more than her. Nothing. I dragged myself to the bed, where her scent was still lingering on the sheets. I inhaled deeply and cried harder.

The next morning, Hyunseung hyung tried calling me, but I refused to pick up the phone, so he drove all the way from the dorm to my apartment. He found the door wide open, so he came in, and found me, still in my stage clothes with my makeup on, tears streaked across my face, alone. He woke me up to bring me for schedules but after I told him about what had happened and seeing the state I was in, he pleaded manager hyung to let me take the day off, which was granted after a lot of grumbles.

The tears were flowing uncontrollably and it was getting hard to breathe already. I was reduced to a blubbering mess on the cold, hard floor. My loud sobs and hiccups must have woken Hyunseung hyung, because the next moment I felt his arms wrap around me protectively. “I told you not to push yourself if you couldn’t take it…” He muttered. I buried my head in his chest and cried harder, clutching onto the hem of his shirt for dear life.

Once I had settled down, I sniffed and reached into my pocket, taking out my little black notebook and showed it to him. Inside the notebook, were all the fictional stories of Eun Mi and I that I wrote since…that day. When I write stories, I lose myself in this world of fiction that sometimes I confuse fiction with reality. I believe that she had never left, that the whole thing was just a dream. But that feeling doesn’t last long when the cruel reality slaps me in the face.

An idea struck me. I untangled myself from Hyunseung hyung’s arms and shakily walk towards the chair. I sat down and gripped my pencil so tightly that my knuckles were going white. And I started composing.

*One month later*

I sat down on the sofa with the other members as manager hyung played the finishing product of the song that I composed over our huge surround sound system. I kept receiving praises from the senior composers from my company, them praising me for my wide imagination. But I knew. It wasn’t my imagination that gave me this final product. It was my life story. This song, is my long owed apology to Eun Mi, my disappointment in myself for not  being able to hold onto her because of my pride. It was my expression of the regret that I would have to live with for the rest of my life. It was titled … “Fiction”.

I still can’t forget you
I still can’t believe all of this
I can’t send you away like this, even today.

I will rewrite it again, very long, so that our story will not end
Just for a while, I’ll bury this sense of loss that digs into my flesh                                                                                                                                                                       I will write something new, a beginning with you and I laughing happily.                                                                                                                                                   The background being a narrow room without an exit so that you can’t leave me.                                                                                                                               

I kiss you as if there is nothing wrong
I can’t leave your sweet presence
There is no such thing as an end for us.

Like this again (Fiction in Fiction)
I can’t forget you (Fiction in Fiction)
I am writing the story that will never end in my heart.

I will hold you back (Fiction in Fiction)
I won’t let go (Fiction in Fiction in Fiction)                                                                                                                                                                                                        Inside our endless story, even today in Fiction.

Right now, there’s nothing but happy stories here
The very happy stories of the two of us (Different from reality)
Is written here, it’s slowly filling up

You come running to me and I embrace you
I can’t let you go once you’re in my arms
There is no such thing as an end for us

Like this again (Fiction in Fiction)
I can’t forget you (Fiction in Fiction)
I am writing the story that will never end in my heart

 I will hold you back (Fiction in Fiction)
I won’t let go (Fiction in Fiction in Fiction)
Inside our endless story, even today in Fiction

 I will say this again, one more time
I believe that you are by my side now (But it’s Fiction)

(But Fiction)
 I’m the writer who lost his purpose
How should I end this novel?
(My own Fiction)
I love you, I love you, I love you, I love you, I only write these three words.
(Everything is Fiction)                                                                                                                                                                                                                                               My pen breaks down, the page is worn out and smeared with tears                                                                                                                                                       (Everything is Fiction)
This story can’t be happy or sad

 Right now I’m writing such a happy story
But as usual, it is nothing but my dream.

I’m happy (Fiction in Fiction in Fiction)                                                                                                                                                                                                                We are together (Fiction in Fiction in Fiction)
This is the beginning (Fiction in Fiction in Fiction)
 It has no end (Fiction in Fiction in Fiction)

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Hey guys!

SORRY I know this is really bad:( I'll post older oneshots before writing new ones.