Somi loved Sejeong. Almost too much for her to handle. Somi loved how Sejeong could touch her fragile heart so easily with her soulful singing, how Sejeong could trigger the small sparks in her heart just by showing her that concerned smile when Somi was hurt or stressed, how Sejeong took care of her even if it was through small actions like bringing her food. Somi hated how much she loved Sejeong. Because it was going out of control. Somi started to cling unto Sejeong more, showering her with affections more, such as hugging or nuzzling her nose onto Sejeong’s neck, or even kiss Sejeong on the cheek. It seems like no one noticed the change in her as no one voiced up anything at all. Not even Nayoung, who absolutely hates skinship and could not handle staring at members kiss each other. Everyone continued with their life as per normal.

Well… that was until that time were Somi was sick…

Somi sighed as she lied on the bed, trying her best to fall asleep. Her head has been hurting for the past hour and it was killing her. Somi groaned as she grabbed her head, shaking it back and forth, as if the pain would be shook off if she does that. “Ugh it hurt so much… I should probably eat a panadol.” Somi whispered to herself, not wanting to wake the others. She opened the door slightly, peaking outside to check if anyone was around, or if anyone was playing movies that she was not allowed to watch because of her age.

Just as Somi was about to walk out, she heard murmuring coming from the kitchen. She slowly opened the door, praying that the door would not creak. Once she opened it fully, she gingerly walked closer to the kitchen, back against the cool wall, listening to the conversation. Somi was usually not one to snoop around but when she heard how quiet the two members were trying to be, curiousity got the better of her. And it was true that curiousity killed the cat when Somi saw who the two members were and what they were doing.

“Sejeong are you sure they’re asleep? I don’t want anyone seeing us here.” Chungha whispered as she leant against the kitchen counter.

Sejeong shrugged as she replied, “We’re coming out tomorrow so what’s wrong with someone seeing us now?”

Chungha frowned, seeming to be deep in thought. Seeing Chungha’s serious expression, Sejeong laughed before reaching out her hand and tugging Chungha closer to her, closing the gap between their lips gently. The sweet kiss lasted about 5 seconds before Sejeong pulled away and swung an arm around Chungha’s shoulders, assuring her, “Don’t worry about the members, it looks like everyone is gay except Yeunjung and Nayoung. And even both of them are a little gay sometimes. No one would object to it babe, don’t worry. Now go sleep, we have to practice our dance tomorrow.”

Little did Sejeong know, someone would object. Just that she didn’t because she was too in love with Sejeong to even care about her feelings. She believed that if Sejeong was happy, she would be happy.

That night, Somi’s headache went away.

The pain she felt didn’t come from her head… It came from her heart, shattering into a million pieces.

//

When tomorrow came and Sejeong and Chungha came out to the group members, everyone was wishing them the best of luck in their relationship and congratulating them. Sure Nayoung and Yeunjung gave them a playful scowl but deep down in their heart they were still happy for them. But Somi? Somi had the largest grin plastered on her face, a signal to everyone that she totally supported this relationship. But was she really though? It seems like no one managed to noticed how Somi’s eyes didn’t light up as brightly as her dazzling smile, how she looked so dead after Sejeong and Chungha announced their relationship. Maybe all of them were too used to Somi solving her own problems that they immediately assumed that she would be fine on her own.

But that was wrong. Somi needed them now more than ever. Even if she could not tell them why she was sad, she just needed someone to be there physically for her. She needed a shoulder to cry on.

But she never received one. Maybe because she never asked for one…

So Somi coped with this unrequited love’s heartbreak alone. Surrounded by people, but still as lonely as ever. She never really cared about the pain she was feeling, she just pushed it to the back of her thoughts, convincing herself that she was going to be fine alone and that the pain would leave her soon. But instead of the pain leaving, Somi realised something else.

//

After their dance practice, Somi, being the clean freak she is, rushed to the bathroom to bathe. On the way to the toilet, she saw Sejeong and Chungha holding hands, sitting on the couch, talking. Sure, it was one month after Sejeong and Chungha revealed their relationship, but Somi’s feelings were too strong and they hung on. Somi’s heart ached badly at that sight but she forced herself to look away and hurried to the toilet.

Just as she reached the toilet, small droplets of tears escaped from her eyes, flowing down her pale white skin. Her heart hurt, the only thing different was that her lungs started burning. Somi wheezed. Her lungs felt as if there vines tightening around it and suffocating her. Still coughing, Somi felt feel hoarse and specks of red blood could be seen in the white polished sink.

Somi’s eyes widened when a single lilac petal, which was stained slightly red because of her blood, floated gently into the sink.

What on Earth is happening?!

Somi quickly took a tissue and wiped away the blood and went into the shower, turning on icy cold water, trying to remove the image of a stained petal being coughed out by her.

-

After showering, Somi shouted to her unnies, “Shower room is empty!” And when she heard Sejeong ask Chungha if she wanted to bathe together, the jealously in Somi took over but she masked it with playfulness when she added on, “One at the time please!” And roars of laugher could be heard at her comment.

Somi went back to her room and flipped open her MacBook, casually typing the password without looking since its practically carved in her brain ho