What makes someone a ‘crush’?

Is it the way they make you feel lightheaded when you catch them looking at you? Or the way their name makes you smile at the mention of it? Perhaps the way your entire soul seems like it’s being out of your body when you sit at night thinking you have no chance with them?

Whatever the official criteria of a crush is, Sooji didn’t have time to think about it. Instead, as she tugged her scarf tighter around her neck, she stubbornly mumbled, “I don’t have a crush…”

“Right, you don’t,” Miyoung tucked a wavy strand of her newly dyed honey hair behind her ear, “Well, you could’ve had me fooled!”

Sooji blinked at the older girl, wondering what Miyoung meant by this. Of course, Miyoung was obviously implying that her behavior indicated having a crush on someone. This was impossible – at least, to Sooji – because outside of Jinyoung, Jihoon, and Dongbin, her interactions with other males were little to none. Jihoon and her were barely friends. Jinyoung… well, he liked someone else. There was no way she would allow herself to like someone who she knew wasn’t interested. Dongbin… well, they were quite friendly with each other… and they did have a history... Sooji wondered if that’s what Miyoung was referring to. Was that one of Miyoung’s requirements of someone being a crush? Familiarity?

The idea lingered in the back of her mind enough to distract her from the entire bus ride to the mall. Before Sooji realized it, they were standing in front of the boutique entrance. She had vague recollections of Miyoung showing her more pictures of dresses from the online store and occasional run-ins into people navigating through the mall crowd. The boutique was less crowded than the outside of the mall with two groups of girls – possibly friends – browsing the racks. Taking Sooji by the wrist, Miyoung brought her to the far-left side of the store and insisted they make their way from the front to the back. With the way she greeted an employee standing by the door, it seemed it wasn’t her first time shopping there.

For the most part, Sooji was at Miyoung’s heel, watching as she would take dresses from the racks, hold them up, and ask what Sooji thought of it. If Sooji commented that it was nice in any way, Miyoung would tuck it under her arm and move onto the next dress. Of course, Sooji genuinely thought a lot of the dresses were pretty. That’s why by the time they finished the first rack, Miyoung already had eight dresses in tow. Sooji even offered to carry Miyoung’s shoulder bag for her so that she wouldn’t get tired. However, the only thing Sooji was holding by the time they finished the first rack was Miyoung’s shoulder bag.

“Are you sure you don’t want to try on anything?” Miyoung asked, noticing the lack of dresses in the younger girl’s arms. Though she had shown Sooji a few that she thought might have looked nice on her, Sooji would politely decline it. When they reached the fitting rooms, she turned back around before entering her room saying, “You don’t have to buy it! You can just try it on for fun!”

“I’m okay – really!” Sooji insisted, waving her hands in front of her to reassure her friend. It’s not that she didn’t want to try anything on – because she did – it’s just knowing Miyoung, the epitome of feminine, would see her made her nervous. Sooji started inching backwards towards the ‘boyfriend chairs’ outside the room, “You can go ahead – I’ll just be here! Just call if you want me to look at anything…”

The next few minutes were of Miyoung slipping in and out of the dressing room trying on the dresses she had picked out. Sooji swore with each dress Miyoung tried on, she looked increasingly like a princess – even if Miyoung didn’t like them. The first dress was a glittery silver off-shoulder dress; while it hugged her athletic figure nicely, Miyoung thought it was something you would wear to a luxury club. The third and sixth dresses were similar in that they were blue with intricate beading, but they weren’t the exact blue dress with crystals Miyoung had showed Sooji earlier. The remainder of the dresses she tried on were either too big, too small, or just fit weird.

After trying on the last dress of her batch, Miyoung took one quick glance at herself in the mirror once more before deciding that she could find a better one. As she closed her room door behind her, she sighed and looked longingly at the photo of her dream dress on her phone. Miyoung shook her head and whispered words of encouragement to her reflection – she was going to find it in the store no matter what. She was in the middle of changing into her own clothes when – through the Venetian openings of the door – she saw Sooji wandering around by the unwanted garments rack (a.k.a. the rack customers put dresses on if they decide not to get it). Pressing her face to the screen, Miyoung squinted to get a better look at Sooji from a distance. Her eyes lit up when she saw Sooji holding a dress up to her body, picturing how it would look on her as she stared at her reflection in the mirror.

“You’d look lovely in that dress,” Miyoung commented. With how Sooji jumped in place, she was surprised by her appearance. She added her dresses to the unwanted garment rack and held out her hands to take Sooji and her bag, “Go ahead and try it on!”

“Ah, I-” Sooji started to make an excuse, but Miyoung cut her off by taking the bags out of her hands and softly pushing her into one of the rooms. So there Sooji was, standing in front of the fitting room mirror, hanger in hand.

“Miyoung, really…” Sooji sighed as if she was bothered by Miyoung’s persistence, but the corners of lifting into a smile as she held the dress up in front of her said otherwise, “I suppose I’ll just try it on so she won’t keep pushing me to.”

A few layers of clothes later, Sooji had finally managed to zip herself in. She had tried the dress on facing the door, afraid that she might dislike what she saw in the mirror as she was putting it on. With a deep breath, Sooji slowly turned around to face her reflection; a small smile forming on her lips when she saw herself. The dress wasn’t elaborately decorated, but there was a beauty in its simplicity. She brushed her fingers across the cold satin bodice, down the skirt, and against the matching satin black sash around the waist. Sooji twirled once, amused at how the skirt opened around her when she did.

“Miyoung…?” Sooji stuck her head out from behind the door, “Do you want to see?”

At the sound of her name, Miyoung ran down the hallway and squealed happily when Sooji moved the door out of her way, “Oh my gosh, Sooji, you’re so cute!”

Sooji rubbed the back of her neck nervously, thanking her friend. She had to admit, it was a bit embarrassing receiving a compliment from someone who looked like an actual princess not too long ago, but it was also an interesting experience. Growing up, it wasn’t often her mom would say she looked ‘pretty’ or ‘cute’. Instead, when she would go to award dinners with her parents or some scholarly formal party they were invited to, her mom would say she looked ‘presentable’.

“Here, let’s see how this looks,” Miyoung set the bags she was carrying between her legs and reached over, gathering up Sooji’s hair. She laughed when Sooji grabbed at her bare shoulders, covering them up, “Don’t be afraid to show off your shoulders, Sooji! That’s the whole point of a modified sweetheart neckline!”

“I’ve never worn a strapless dress without a cardigan over it,” Sooji laughed nervously, letting out a sigh of relief when Miyoung let her hair back down.

“Well, you will now!” Miyoung beamed, “You’re getting that right? You have to buy it!”

Sooji twiddled her fingers, avoiding Miyoung’s gaze, “I don’t know… I’m afraid of what my dad might say. Maybe I’ll look for a different one? One with straps, probably… but I’m not sure if I’m even going, you know? I could always borrow from my mom anyway.”

There was a sad look in Miyoung’s eyes when she watched Sooji come out of the dressing room and return the hanger on the unwanted garments rack. She asked again if Sooji really wasn’t going to get it, but the younger girl insisted that she was fine not buying it. She said there were many other dresses anyway. It wouldn’t be hard to find a design exactly or similar because it was a basic design. They returned to walking around the store and returning to the fitting room to try on dresses for Miyoung. About an hour later, however, Sooji was sifting through one of the racks near the stock room entrance, when she saw a familiar crystal design.

Sooji took the dress from the rack and gasped when she saw the exact dress Miyoung wanted in her hands, “Miyoung, look! It’s the dress you wanted!”

Glancing over her shoulder, Miyoung’s jaw dropped when she saw Sooji holding her dream dress high above her head. A high-pitched squeal echoed throughout the boutique after Miyoung shoved the hangers she was holding into a random rack and bolted to where Sooji was. Sooji told Miyoung to hurry and try it on, and when she came out, it fit perfectly. Sooji clapped excitedly for her now-happy friend. If there was anything that felt better than personal happiness, it was seeing her friends happy. Miyoung hugged the shorter girl tightly and thanked her for finding it. When Miyoung twirled in front of the mirror, Sooji could remember the exact same feeling she had earlier when she tried on the white satin dress. Still, Sooji pushed the thought to the side and followed