Seungri finds himself crying more often these days. He’s starting to grow accustomed to the weight of the rusty shackles around his raw heart, a constricting ache that never quite diminishes. Maybe it is his brain’s way of sharing some of Jiyong’s pain – by suffering the same feelings as him, he can prove his understanding and empathy. Because Jiyong was always the one with thoughts like the black plague, the one who feels too many things and then nothing at all, the one who is hanging onto his soul by a tether.

All these years with Jiyong, Seungri has been fine. He has been uncrackable. But there’s a limit to what he can endure, and maybe this is the culmination of all the times he swallowed it down and plastered a smile for Jiyong.

It’s wrecking Seungri, scraping out every layer of the old him from the inside and filling his shell with black, black ink like the ink of Jiyong’s pen spilled all over in his songwriting notebook.

He doesn’t want to blame Jiyong. It’s not like Jiyong forces him to suffer on purpose. But sometimes… it’s so tempting to just dump all the fault on Jiyong and curse him and spite him because he’s so fatigued to the core from blaming himself.

Not that he would ever allow himself to condemn Jiyong though.

Seungri has got to remain intact for Jiyong’s sake... but if they’re both crumbling separately, who’s going to hold the two of them together?

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