Jungkook walked away, as always. Every time the boy was faced with any problems, he’d face the other way and go as far from the problem as he could. But given the circumstances and the confusion the boy was feeling, could you blame him?

Yes, yes you could, and that’s exactly what the boy did, 

He blamed himself because frankly, it was all him.

                                      
And he knows that he should fix things and just stop running away but God, all he wanted to do now was to get out of this place as fast as he could. He didn’t want the others to see this side of him.

The insecure, terrified side of him.

“Jungkook-ah!, Jimin calls out but he only walks faster.

God, do you have to hurt everyone around you, Jungkook?! , he thinks.

He vaguely hears Jimin say something along the line “Why’d you do that?” to Yoongi as he strides his way to Jungkook.

-

He almost reaches the cabin but Jimin yells this time, “Yah!! Jeon Jungkook!”.

Jungkook stops in his tracks but doesn’t turn around. Jimin pulls him by the arms so that he was now facing the latter.

“What?”, Jungkook says, a little bit too coldly than intended.

He always does things more and worse than intended.          

Jimin purses his lips and scowls. 

Something was up with this boy for sure.

“What was that about?”, he asks, slowly eyeing the boy whose eyes were redder than usual.

“I-”,Jungkook says but stops himself from continuing, before saying something stupid. He looked at the shorter boy, hoping he’d get the message,

why are you still coming after me after all I put you through?

why does it look like you’re worried?

please don’t look at me like that…

“Walk with me”, Jimin says as he walks ahead.

Jungkook only follows quietly, not knowing what else to do.

Jungkook sees Jimin let out a deep breath. He holds his own when the boy started speaking.

“I know what you’re thinking”, Jimin says, “And I know that.. you might hate my guts and all but …I just want to know ..why?”

He stops in his track to turn to Jungkook, his expression way too forlorn and so unlike the epitome of Jimin himself.

You got it all wrong Jimin-ah.

 "Why is it that you feel annoyed at everything I do? Why is it that despite how many ing times I try , you always push me away?“, he asks, his voice rising with every passing words. 

You got it all so wrong yet so so ing right.

He sounded angry when he spoke, but he looked miserable.

And maybe he was a little bit of both.

It wasn’t a daily thing for Jimin to be upset or mad, at least he wouldn’t be showing his anger.

But Good lord, how could he not get angry? It was always like this and Jimin was tired.

He tried and he tried to get the younger to like him, to somehow make Jungkook stop despising him so ing much, but it always ended with Jungkook rejecting him.

-+-
"Jungkook-ah you wanna go for a walk?”, 

“No thanks, I have homework”

-

“Jungkookie, teach me how to play overwatch!”

“Pft, you’re not good at games anyways, why bother playing?”

-

“Kookie!! You’re 17 now!! Happy birthdayyyyyyy~”, he hugged the boy.

“Ugh l-let go of me!…. P-people are l-looking”

-+-

He doesn’t really see as to why he tried so hard for the younger, when all he did was throw spiteful insults and send glares.

“I’m tired.”, Jimin continues when he notices that the taller won’t budge, 

“I’m tired of all the insults and the glares and the fights, god I’m tired of you!!”, he rambles out.

“And you still didn’t answer me, what was that?”, Jimin asked pointedly, jabbing a finger at his chest.

“Why did you look so miserable like you’re the one hurting?! Like you’re the one getting called as all those names??”, Jimin continued, shoving the boy backwards slightly.

“I’m stupid, ugly, fat , annoying-what more do you have to say? Huh??”, Jimin breathes heavily at the sudden outburst even he had not expected from his own self.

And as uncharacteristic as it seems, Jungkook whimpers with a lowly voice, “I’m sorry”.

I don’t mean it.

“For what exactly Jungkook-ah? For shoving me away from you? For treating me like ? For insulting me? You gotta be specific here”, he says back sarcastically as he folds his arms.

His glare was prominently set on the boy who wouldn’t look him in the eyes, but his gaze turned softer the second he noticed a lone tear tracing down his cheek.

Was he crying?

Jimin voiced his thought out and tried to get closer to the other boy to see clearer but Jungkook only turned and walked away, fast.

And this time around,

Jimin didn’t chase after him. 

*

The next day Jimin and Jungkook were avoiding each other like the plague. Interacting with anyone but the other and only answering in short sentences when necessary.

Jungkook knows he should do something about it, he’s the cause for this and Lord, did he know.

He knew from the moment he spoke those spiteful words to the older boy that he messed up.

Yes, he’d always teased him and all but never did it make that big of an issue that it would create such tense atmosphere around the two of them.

And God, he feels horrible. 

The other night he had cried in front of Jimin, he could only hope Jimin didn’t notice the hurt expression of his. He was starting to show his emotions but he didn’t want to.

He never wants to express his feelings, as a matter of fact, he guards them like a ing shield, not wanting anyone near him, not wanting anyone to hurt him.

It was the crippling anxiety and fear of getting hurt that had caused him to push people away.

It was the crippling anxiety and fear of getting hurt that had caused him to push Jimin away.

He feels horrible.

And the way Yoongi would cuddle and occasionally whisper soft words to Jimin on the couch in front of him, doesn’t make him feel any better.

If Jungkook felt jealous before, it was nowhere close to as bad as he feels now.

He feels hurt.

_(past tense)

He tried to get angry, to vent out the tugging feeling off his chest.  But Jungkook can’t be mad at Jimin, he can’t come to blame anyone but himself, it was his own fault.

He wanted to fix this, but he just didn’t know how.

He always dealt with things the only way he could, he ignored them. But he knew for a fact that it’s not going to take him anywhere.

And so he does the second best thing he could do,

moping around and glaring at Yoongi.

They were waiting for the rest to come so that they could go night walking in the forest park, yes, it’s 1 am right now but no, who sleeps in a summer camp night?

 -

A while later, they had went out, with Jimin still glued to Yoongi’s side, like usual.

And with Jungkook still looking at them, like usual.

Taehyung had tried to pry Jungkook into conversations, to somehow make the mysteriously sad boy engaged in whatever it is they were doing.

Even after they reached the park filled with beautiful conifer trees, Jungkook was still in his blur state of mind.

This was definitely unusual, Taehyung thought. Jungkook always loved the starry summer nights, what was so different now?

Taehyung knew better than to ask and talk to the boy though, there was no way that he’d talk about his problems to him in the first place.

But it’s not like he needs to anyways, he sees the way Jungkook looks at Jimin, the way Jungkook glares and uncomfortably fidgets whenever Yoongi and Jimin are close to each other.

-

Jungkook was sitting at a bench by the small lake (it looked more like a pond, Jungkook wasn’t so sure), he sat as far from the couple as he could, but no matter what, his eyes always looked back at the shorter boy, at the way he was smiling oh-so-widely at whatever it was that Yoongi said.

It’s as if they were in their own little bubble, they had completely spaced the other guys out.

Although the park was as good as empty, it still felt crowded to Jungkook.

  Too much trees, too much light, too much emotions.

Through his thoughts of self-grief, he hadn’t realised Jin sat beside him, yet again.

“Talk to him.”, he said and sighs. “You’re so obvious”

Last time he said that he had laughed at him, joked about it, ‘cause It was so obvious that you like him .

But this time around, he had said it a bit softer, with a hint of sad, ‘cause It’s so obvious that you’re hurting.

 -

“I can’t..”, Jungkook said after a while of collecting his thoughts.

“And why’s that?”, Jin asks.

“..he hates me.” ,Jungkook rasped out. His throat tightening and heart stinging now that he actually stated the words out.

“did he ever say that?”

“..no”

“then why do you say that?”

“ because it’s obvious?”, he looks at Jin in with a ‘duh’ expression

“Just as obvious as the looks he’s giving you right now?”, Jin retaliated as he nodded his head, pointing towards where Jimin was standing with Yoongi.

Jungkook furrowed his eyebrows at what he says and turns to look at the direction he was pointing at.

He noticed Jimin looking at him but quickly looking away, all the while sneaking glances at him.

He didn’t have the tint of red on his cheeks this time (or maybe he did, Jungkook couldn’t really tell in the dark night), instead he looked doleful. 

Like he’s mad, and upset yet longing.

“He doesn’t hate you Jungkook-ah, he never did. “, Jin said, causing Jungkook to look at him again.

“You’re the only one who went around saying how much you hate him, kook. Only you.”, Jin said as softly as he could, like he knew how fragile and miserable Jungkook felt.

Oh God.

“But ………I don’t mean it”, Jungkook said slowly, looking at his cocoa-stained timberlands, trying to stop that goddamning stinging tug at his chest.

“..I love him,hyung” , he said looking straight at Jin. “You know that” , he whimpered ever so slightly.

“I know Jungkookie, everyone knows.”, Jin said. 

“But just not him”.

Hellooo~! Well, this took a long time to write, oops XD . I hope you like it! I swear I’m not trying to be cruel with you guys lol I just want Jungkook to suffer cos he hurt ma poor Jimin.

I know there’s not much going on here but trust me, you’ll need a breather like this for the next chapter… ;) bombs will be dropped lol.

Thanks for reading! <3