Everyone in their friend group would agree that Jeonghan and Jisoo were basically inseparable when they first step foot on Pledis University grounds. Newly admitted into the college, they were keen, wide-eyed, apprehensive, and only talked to each other the first few weeks. Slowly, as the days progressed, they opened up to new people, people that would make them laugh and vice-versa, people whom they could call friends. And soon their friend circle was large enough that they felt comfortably aligned with the school and with others.

Jeonghan was the more talkative of the two. He usually had interesting stories to tell that often involved someone falling over or screaming, but perhaps those were just overexaggerations. Jisoo always smiled quietly next to him, maybe rolling his eyes or laughing softly if the story got too out of hand. They had an interesting dynamic, an interesting friendship.

That's not to say that Jisoo had his own fair share of odd traits. Sometimes the things he'd do would cause everybody to be in hysterics, and wonder how such a mild-tempered boy could exhibit such eccentric behavior. Jeonghan would always laugh the loudest whenever Jisoo did or said anything remotely amusing, which the other friends of theirs noticed and picked up on silently. 

Their relationship was still confusing to some. Jeonghan and Jisoo denied the fact that they were dating, despite all the clear signs that they were a couple, from matching bracelets (couple bracelets, mind you) to the physical skinship the two shared, like holding hands, leaning on each other's shoulders, that sort of thing. Sometimes they looked more like a couple than some real couples at school, so can you really blame people for assuming such?

Despite the fact that they weren't dating, people still regarded them as exclusive. Nobody dared confess to Jeonghan nor Jisoo, even if some of their closest friends (namely, Seungcheol) might have had the tiniest crush on Jeonghan or Jisoo. It just felt wrong. Even if they were accepted, they knew somehwhere deep down that they'd always feel like second place compared to the other friend. This way, everything stayed balanced.

And things were balanced. For the longest time, things were sailing smoothly. They were already nearly finished with their third year of college. Already well accustomed to the campus and having met many more faces younger than them, such as the 'gag trio', Soonyoung, Seokmin, and Seungkwan, or the Chinese exchange students, Jun and Minghao. Everything was going great for them.

Thus, the calm before the storm.

It all started one Friday night. Jeonghan, being the fun loving party goer he was, was getting prepped up to go to Hansol's place. Jisoo, on the other hand, was staying at their dorm, maybe watching a movie or something. Another way the two were as different as ever.

Obviously, the two were roommates. Jeonghan's side of the room was a mess, the bed unmade, clothes strewn left and right. While Jisoo's side was nowhere near perfect, it was significantly tidier. For one, there weren't food packets all over his bed like with Jeonghan. And he actually had books and school related supplies visible.

"Come on Jisoo, it'll be fun," Jeonghan insisted, trying on another top and examining himself in a mirror.

"No thanks. Besides, I have a killer migraine right now," the younger replied sullenly.

"That's because you're staring at your textbooks all the time. Come on, live a little!"

"There'll be alcohol there, you know I don't like drinking."

"You don't have to drink, you know."

"I'll be pressured into it, I know. It's fine, Han, have a good time."

Jeonghan pouted but relented, finally deciding on an outfit. He quickly applied eyeliner to accentuate his eye shape, and a touch of lip stain wouldn't hurt either. He had to admit black was definitely a good color on him.

"How do I look?" he asked, twirling around to give Jisoo a full show of his getup.

Jisoo smiled despite the irritating headache. Jeonghan really could pull off any look. "Eh, I dunno, you look slightly less jaw-droppingly gorgeous than usual," he replied cheekily, noting the hint of redness that was certainly not there before gracing Jeonghan's face. "Besides, you always look good in whatever you wear, you know that."

Jeonghan rolled his eyes, trying to play it off. "And you look like you need a kiss." He reached over and planted a light kiss on Jisoo's forehead, leaving a small red mark on his skin. Jisoo's face was now a shade rosier, which was always nice to see.

"I'll be going now, see you later Jisoo!" he called as he left the dorm. Sure, it would've been nice to continue what they'd been at before, but Jeonghan wasn't quite sure what was really going on between them anyway. It was all so confusing.

Jisoo smiled to himself. True, their relationship was complicated. Sometimes he felt his heart skip around Jeonghan, sometimes he felt like Jeonghan was purposely flirting with him, and nowadays he didn't even know what they were. Friends? Best friends?

But right now, he wanted nothing more than to sleep. He'd been staying up nonstop this past week to meet essay deadlines and other annoying end of year reports. And his brain was completely wiped. He decided to settle with watching whatever was on TV, too lazy to change the channel.

At some point, he got up to have a drink of water, only to have his vision blur and the whole world spin for a moment. Brushing it off as a side effect of fatigue, he got his drink of water, leaning against their small kitchen counter. After a couple moments, though, he felt his center of balance shift and he nearly toppled over where he was standing. His legs starting shaking and that was when Jisoo realized something was seriously wrong. He needed to call somebody. 

However, his legs refused to cooperate with him. Try as he might, he couldn't lift them or move them in any direction. Beginning to feel panicked, he searched around for something he could use to help him. Finally, his legs just gave way and he fell to the ground. He scooted over on the floor towards his cell phone and called 911, because he was taught from long ago that even small instances could mean something severe.

"911, what's your emergency?"

"H-hi, m-my legs just—they stopped—I can't move them-" he stammered, aware how terrified his voice sounded aloud.

"I'm sorry, could you repeat that a little louder? You can't move your legs?"

Jisoo nodded, then realized the dispatcher couldn't see him so he shakily replied, "Y-yes."

"Are you in any pain?"

"N-no. I j-just have a headache."

"Has this happened to you before?"

"No, n-never."

"Can you give us your address?"

Jisoo stuttered out his dorm location, all the while trying his best not to have a breakdown.

"Okay, we're sending emergency services to your location right now. Stay calm. Is there anybody with you?"

"N-not at the moment."

"We'll be there as soon as possible. Stay on the line with us."

So Jisoo sat there on the cold floor, phone clutched in his trembling hands while praying that everything would be alright.

Jeonghan was completely spent after all the partying. Surprisingly, Jeonghan didn't drink as much as expected, the alcohol wasn't up to his tastes. Beer was too overused, and besides, he didn't want to bother Jisoo with another hangover, which usually left him vomiting in the bathroom. No fun.

He approached their dorm and that's when his heart dropped.

An ambulance was parked near their building, students were all curiously gazing at the scene as the red and blue lights flashed through the din of night.

He slowly headed to his room, feeling his heart sink with each step he took. No, no, no, it couldn't be...

He stepped inside. Paramedics were swarming his tiny flat and right in the center of it all was Jisoo, eyes flighty and scared as he said something to an EMT.

"Jisoo?" Jeonghan asked, a hint of relief seeing that Jisoo was awake and talking.

Jisoo's eyes turned to him, still scared looking. "J-Jeonghan..." he whispered in a hoarse voice. It made Jeonghan worried and he walked up next to Jisoo, he was seated on a couch, his legs being inspected by a nurse.

"What's going on?" the older asked.

Jisoo gulped visibly, eyes falling back onto his legs. "My legs stopped working..." he whispered. Jisoo had finally gained the strength to talk after a half hour of choked replies, having the nurses reminding him to breathe and stay calm.

Jeonghan's eyes widened and he knelt down next to him. "Wh-what are you..."

"Do you want to go to the hospital?" an EMT interrupted, gazing at Jisoo.

Jisoo shuddered, and unconsciously gripped Jeonghan's hand, to which the letter responded to by gripping back firmly. "I-I think I should," he whispered.

They placed Jisoo onto the stretcher. His eyes were still full of fear and Jeonghan wanted to keep holding onto his hand. "I'm coming with him," Jeonghan affirmed, and it wasn't a question. He climbed into the ambulance next to Jisoo, holding his hand tightly and reminding Jisoo it would all be alright. Trying to convince himself as well. He listened as Jisoo narrated what happened, and cursed himself for not being there to help him out. 

"You'll be okay," Jeonghan repeated for the nth time. "You were always the more emotionally apt of the two of us."

Jisoo smiled at that. "I hope so."

The waiting room left Jeonghan a nervous wreck. He'd called Jisoo's parents to let them know, though they couldn't be there right away since it was a 3 hour drive from where they lived. He wasn't sure if he should let their friends know and finally decided against it. Jisoo wouldn't want to worry others, no matter how bad the situation called for it. That's just the way he was. 

After a few hours, Jisoo's parents arrived in a frenzy, asking the doctor if he was fine, what his condition was, all the things Jeonghan was desperate to know as well. The doctor replied that they were currently doing a number of scans and that they'd have to wait a bit until the results were revealed.

They sat in the room, tensed. Jeonghan was starting to wonder just how bad the situation was. He couldn't help it, his mind liked jumping to conclusions. What could cause someone's legs to just stop functioning altogether? 

And then he began to feel regret. Why wasn't he there for him right away? Why'd he have to go and leave Jisoo alone? There were still so many things he needed to do with Jisoo, how could he if Jisoo's legs weren't cooperating anymore?

After what felt like forever, the doctor informed them of Jisoo's condition.

"We ran some brain scans since he'd been complaining of a headache, and..." the doctor motioned for them to sit down, which they all did, fearfully. "He has a tumor near his cerebellum."

Jisoo's mother nearly fainted and had to be supported by his dad, who was also shaking. And then the dreaded words:

"Unfortunately, it is confirmed that he has stage 3 brain cancer."

Jeonghan felt his world spin and he suddenly felt the violent urge to throw up. He got up and all but ran down the brightly lit halls towards the nearest bathroom and regurgitated everything and anything in his stomach, trembling uncontrollably. He vaguely heard the restroom door swing open but he didn't care. He didn't care that someone was there and telling him to take deep breaths, he didn't care that the person was gently patting him on the back, he didn't care that he looked like a wreck, not even when the male nurse finally helped him up. Jeonghan just stared at him with empty eyes before stalking back over to the hospital room containing his Jisoo.

"Let me see him," he demanded, clenching his teeth so as not to cry. 

The doctor looked at him with heavy eyes, his mouth curved downwards. "Go on in. His parents are already there."

Jeonghan slowly entered the room of whirring machines and overly sterilized equipment. It made him feel sick.

He saw Jisoo lying there, looking small surrounded by all the machinery and devices. His parents were bent over him, and Jeonghan stood quietly at the back, letting them have their time with their only son.

Eventually, they pulled away, wiping off tears, and that's when Jeonghan and Jisoo's eyes connected and everything around them disappeared.

Jeonghan walked over to him. "H-hey," he whispered.

Even under such circumstances, Jisoo procured a delicate smile. "Hey," he replied, extending his hand.

Jeonghan took it, holding onto it as tightly as possible without hurting the other. "How are you feeling?" he asked. 

Jisoo's smile wavered. "Not as good as I'd hoped," he responded, and Jeonghan felt his heart shatter. 

"I'm sorry."

"Don't be. It's not your fault."

"Jisoo..."

Jisoo closed his eyes, squeezing Jeonghan's hand. "You must be tired. Go get some rest."

Exhaustion was the least of his concerns right now, but the nurses told Jeonghan that he did have to leave, so it was with a heavy heart that he waved goodbye to his friend, trying not to let himself give in to the urge to cry.

Word spread quickly of Jisoo's condition. Seungkwan was the first to cry, but that was a given. Seokmin and Soonyoung followed shortly after. Minghao looked away but it was clear there were tears in his eyes. Chan, the youngest, managed a brave face for a moment before his eyebrows furrowed and tears poured out of them one by one. The quieter ones, like Hansol, closed their eyes or clenched their fists in dismay. Seungcheol finally asked if they'd be allowed to see him, and Jeonghan figured they should be, since they were all his friends. 

It was painful to see him at the hospital. Jisoo was always smiling, even when some of them broke down and cried. Jisoo never cried, not even when he tried walking once more and his legs once again refused to comply. However, he was starting to improve. He could stand on his own now, and after a few days he could take a couple steps before they gave away. The brain tumor was significantly affecting his motor skills and hand eye coordination, but he was starting to pull through despite the handicaps.

All the while, Jeonghan visited him regularly. He spent most of his day at the hospital next to Jisoo, telling him about the day while Jisoo listened attentively. Jisoo's smile was already enough, but getting Jisoo to laugh always left Jeonghan feeling warm inside. His laughter was light and graceful. It was soothing to hear no matter what the situation.

After a month, Jisoo was released from the hospital, able to fully walk on his own with no difficulties. He immediately ran and hugged his parents, who were in hysterics, and then turned and ran into Jeonghan's arms, burying his face in between his shoulder blades. 

Jisoo finally raised his head and looked directly at Jeonghan's eyes, not moving away. And Jeonghan wasn't letting go either. They just stared at each other, like the rest of the universe wasn't present and it was only them two. 

If you were to ask who initiated it, there wouldn't be a clear answer, all they knew was that at some point their lips were interlocked and their eyes were closed and all that mattered was that this was what they'd been missing all along.

They finally pulled apart when they heard awkward coughing and turned with flushed faces to see not just their parents and some nurses, but all their friends gawking at them like they were on display.

"I always knew it," Seungkwan mumbled.

"Jeonghan, don't hog him for yourself," Seokmin added, reaching over and hugging Jisoo. And thus hugs were exchanged, a bit of teasing here and there for Jeonghan and Jisoo, who were clearly flustered by the sudden development but laughed nonetheless.

If only time would just stop, then things would really be perfect.

Despite the fact that he was ill, he made it a priority to continue his schoolwork. He'd been given medical leave, and had chemotherapy administered to him, but Jisoo didn't let that be an excuse to slack off. Besides, he'd already missed a month, and now needed to make it up.

Jeonghan was much less keen, on the other hand. "I can't believe you, Jisoo," he commented, watching the younger write away in his notebook.

Jisoo responded by throwing him an annoyed look. "Don't you have work to get to? You were practically by my side 24/7 at the hospital. Which I appreciated, by the way, but at the same time..." 

Jeonghan yawned, stretching where he was seated on the bed opposite to Jisoo. "They gave me a break as well, the professors understood."

"Well, now I'm fine so you should go back to your work."

"Jisoo..." Jeonghan complained, reaching over and hugging him from behind. "It doesn't even feel like you're my boyfriend. Let's do something together."

Jisoo's neck and ears turned a lovely shade of pink, and Jeonghan smiled, knowing he'd won. 

Jisoo turned to face him, inches apart as Jeonghan's arms were still around him. "Fine, what do you want to do?" he mumbled, heat crawling up his cheeks. The fact that they were now dating still managed to make him blush, which Jeonghan found exceedingly cute.

"Anything, as long as it's with you," he replied cheesily, making Jisoo hit him lightly on the chest.

"Then let's study together," he contended, laughing a little at Jeonghan's put off expression. "Besides that," the latter muttered, resting his head on Jisoo's shoulder.

Jisoo sighed. "Jeonghan, you know I've liked you since high school, right?" he asked.

The sudden confession made Jeonghan's head snap back up, eyes wide. "No way, what?"

Jisoo blushed more, looking away. "I'm no good when it comes to owning up to my feelings. I guess I'm just a coward that way."

Jeonghan responded by kissing him on the lips. "Well, I like this coward, so there."

Jisoo rolled his eyes. "Can you not be corny for two seconds?"

"Never."

"Figures."

"Besides, I've liked you probably even longer. I don't know, my feelings are kinda all over the place," Jeonghan mulled, looking thoughtful.

Jeonghan wanted to keep holding Jisoo like this forever. He wanted whatever affliction Jisoo had to just go away and leave him alone. He wanted Jisoo to be happy and healthy, and never to have to see a hospital again.

Unfortunately, life didn't want to work that way.

Prior to his hospitalization, Jisoo had been heavily involved in campus activities. He had a lovely voice, so he sang and played the guitar. He'd also been convinced by Jun to try out the acting club, and soon began to enjoy acting. Soonyoung basically forced him into the school's dance club, and while awkward at first, he turned out to be quite a good dancer. He was on the honor council and helped with student resources and the like. 

"Are you really quitting?" Soonyoung asked him sadly, looking down at the resignation form. "You were one of the group's favorites. Your improvement's nothing short of amazing." 

Jisoo nodded, trying not to look to dejected. "I'm sorry Soonyoung, but with the way my condition is now, there's no guarantee I can dance on stage."

Soonyoung nodded, trying to look understanding. Jisoo smiled at him before turning in the form and leaving, waving bye.

That was the start of many things he had to let go.

"I just can't seem to remember these facts," Jisoo complained to Jeonghan.

Jeonghan shook his head. "Seriously, Jisoo, take a break. You've been studying for hours. Your hair'll fall out at this rate."

Jisoo responded with a rueful smile. "It'll probably fall out anyway, what with the chemotherapy and stuff."

Ah, right. Jeonghan sighed. "How long?"

"The doctors said to wait a couple weeks before we see any changes. So I have a while."

Jeonghan nuzzled his head against Jisoo's neck, holding onto him tightly like a koala, making Jisoo's smile turn into a more happy one. 

However, the happiness was short lived as Jisoo soon failed his very first test. He gaped at the test paper like it's been dipped in poison.

"I seriously got almost every question wrong," he revealed to his friends, looking distraught.

"It's fine, hyung, they'll understand," Hansol said reassuringly. 

"I just...I can't seem to remember anything. I memorize a fact and then I forget the one from before. I don't get it," he said, looking frustrated with himself.

They all gave him words of reassurance, but Jisoo still looked discouraged. 

It turned out that a side effect of the chemotherapy was memory loss, coupled with the brain tumor. It was then that Jisoo realized he really couldn't return to how things were before. He finally pulled out of school for the time being, opting to just take a break. It was agonizing for him to be unable to pursue his career after so many years of working up to it, but he knew that at least for now, he couldn't continue as it was.

"I'm sorry," Jun said as Jisoo conceded that he couldn't be in the play anymore. 

"It's not your fault," Jisoo replied. "I can't remember things like I used to. I'm sorry that the play's been thrown off because of me."

"Don't worry about it. Take care of yourself, okay?"

And then, on to the next one.

"You're really leaving the honor council?" Wonwoo asked, his eyes melancholic. "Are you sure, Jisoo?"

"I don't think I'd be of much help as of now. I don't want to leave you with an MIA member, so you're welcome to replace my spot as vice president."

Wonwoo lowered his glasses, a frown on his face. "We couldn't just replace you like that."

Jisoo's smile never strayed from his face, despite the heartache that ensued. "I'll be fine, Wonwoo."

Jeonghan watched Jisoo slowly close in on himself and swallowed down the urge to cry. "Jisoo," he called towards the younger who was staring out a window at the night sky. 

Jisoo's eyes were breathtakingly beautiful. The cat-like eyes of his caught the stars in the sky and recreated the galaxy in its own celestial way. If you looked closely you could probably find constellations scattered in his pupils. They were practically glowing in their own right, much like a feline. Jeonghan's words were stuck in his throat as he locked gazes with the Jisoo.

"Yes?" Jisoo responded, blinking and momentarily pulling Jeonghan out of his reverie.

"How are you feeling?" Jeonghan whispered, standing next to Jisoo and staring out the window towards the starry night above.

Jisoo silently leaned his head against Jeonghan's shoulder, closing his eyes. "I don't know."

Jeonghan ran a hand through Jisoo's hair, relishing the feeling while he could. Jisoo's hair was soft, soft enough that you could make pillows out of it. They stayed like that for who knows how long, Jeonghan caressing Jisoo's head and Jisoo breathing softly, evidence that he was soon going to fall asleep.

Time, I beg you, Jeonghan pleaded to the stars above. Please slow down. Or stop altogether. Let us stay this way.

Even if no one said it, it was clear that the air grew somber whenever Jisoo was present in the group. Everyone eyed him with various degrees of dispirit, even if some managed to continue and act cheerful as usual. Jisoo maintained his happy demeanor. He was always smiling, laughing, talking. He seemed the least affected by the whole situation, never lowering his spirits. 

Until finally, one day, someone snapped.

"I can't take it anymore!" Chan cried, getting up from his seat where they were eating at a restaurant and pointing at Jisoo. "How can you be so happy all the time, hyung? We never seem to talk about the fact that you have cancer, that you're dying, that—"

"CHAN!" A few members yelled, interrupting him. Jeonghan was already out of his seat and glaring at Chan from across the table, his fists clenched.

"I just don't understand! Why are you all so damn happy all the time? Why is nobody saying anything about this? It's like we're ignoring it altogether!" Chan yelled, looking angry. 

"Chan, just shut up," Minghao hissed, which was completely out of character for him.

"No, I will not shut up! I can't believe you guys! Jeonghan-hyung! Isn't Jisoo your boyfriend? Do you not care at all that he's going to die—"

Chan was cut off when Jeonghan lunged at him from across the table, knocking their food dishes to the ground as he charged at the youngest, engulfed in rage. He was seeing red, all he could think of was how to end the person in front of him, how he could make him never say a word again. They crashed onto the ground as Jeonghan hit him, punched him, kicked him, ignoring the way he received blows as well, ignoring the way everybody in the restaurant was shouting, ignoring the way his friends were screaming at him to stop, and when he was forcibly pulled back by Seungcheol and Mingyu, he clawed against them desperately, wanting nothing more than to keep going. 

"JEONGHAN, YOU ING IDIOT, LOOK AT JISOO!"

It was only when he heard the choked sobbing of someone he knew that he stopped and turned to see Jisoo crying his eyes out, his face drenched in tears as he desperately reached over towards Jeonghan. However, it was no more than a couple steps when Jisoo fell over, his legs giving way beneath him. Immediately everyone rushed over to him, but Jisoo wouldn't stop crying, to the point that he couldn't breathe and the lack of oxygen to his brain was causing him to lose control of his limbs.

"J-Jisoo—" Jeonghan stammered, pushing past the others and facing the sobbing male. "Jisoo—"

"Jisoo, breathe in and out," Seungcheol commanded, supporting Jisoo's head which was drooping over. "Jisoo, you need to breathe, listen—"

"J-Jeonghan—Ch-Chan—" Jisoo said in a strangled voice, his entire body convulsing. It was frightening, and the bystanders were on the verge of calling 911.

"I-I'm right here, Jisoo—" Jeonghan apprised, his fingers trembling as he reached over to touch Jisoo's tear-soaked face. "I'm right here."

Incredibly, it worked and Jisoo's breathing relaxed as his crying died down to small quakes. He sniffled, still shaking. He finally regained the ability to stand up. Everyone was watching him anxiously, but Jisoo simply slapped a hand to his mouth and ran, bolting past the tables of worried onlookers.

. Jeonghan took off after him, not caring how much of a moron he looked at the moment. All that mattered was Jisoo.

Jisoo burst into the restaurant bathroom and vomited over the toilet, his lunch going down the drain. He kept his head over the seat, the tears resurfacing as the image of Jeonghan attacking Chan replayed in his mind.

"Oh my god Jisoo—I'm so sorry—J-Jisoo—" the voice he recognized as Jeonghan's pleaded, sinking onto the ground next to him. "Jisoo—"

"I-It's all my fault—" Jisoo bawled, his eyes red and puffy from the continuous onslaught of tears. Jeonghan always adored Chan so much, for him to go and attack his baby like that made Jisoo want to throw up even more.

"No—oh god no Jisoo it's not your fault—Jisoo listen to me—" Jeonghan begged, tears stinging in his own eyes at the mess he'd created.

But Jisoo kept whimpering that everything was his fault and it made Jeonghan want to stab himself a million times for what he'd done.

Eventually Jisoo's sobs quieted down and Jeonghan helped him back up. No one had come in to check on them, perhaps hoping they'd work it out somehow.

They approached the table where their friends were seated, and Jeonghan felt a pang of guilt when he saw the cuts and bruises on Chan's face. Without another word they all headed outside before confronting one another.

"Chan," Jeonghan began. "I know I shouldn't have done that. , I'm sorry, I—"

Chan interrupted him, shaking his head. "No, I was a complete . I'm so so sorry, Jisoo hyung," he turned his attention to the puffy eyed male. 

Jisoo merely forced a smile on his face. "It's okay, I understand, Chan."

But Chan was looking on the verge of tears himself so Jisoo pulled him into a hug, knowing that even if he said it, things were slowly not becoming okay.

Jeonghan wanted nothing more than to lie next to Jisoo all day, but the younger insisted he go to class. "Don't give up your chance at graduating for me, Han," Jisoo pressed, and even then there was that same smile on his face. So Jeonghan relented and attended his boring classes. However, he insisted that someone always be with Jisoo while he was gone. His parents had work and lived too far to visit frequently, so they often had friends with free time on their hands come over and stay with Jisoo.

Today was Jihoon's turn, and the small male looked at Jisoo grimly. "You quit the singing performance we were going to have," he cited, folding his hands together.

Jisoo nodded, his face bleak. He was just so tired of all of this. "Yes, I'm sorry, but I don't want something to happen onstage. Besides..I think I'm beginning to lose control of my fingers," he whispered, his voice cracking at those words. "I-I tried tuning my guitar and fingers—they were so clumsy—they didn't feel like my own."

Jihoon's normally sharp eyes softened and he sat down next to Jisoo. "We don't have to talk about it if you don't want to," he stressed, placing his hands atop Jisoo's in a manner quite unlike the usually reserved male. 

Jisoo smiled at him, but the smile no longer reached his eyes. He was afraid, it was obvious. "Thank you," Jisoo replied.

Jihoon smiled back and kept his hands over Jisoo's. And when Jisoo asked in a quiet voice if they could stay like this, Jihoon readily complied.

Jeonghan arrived to his dorm only to find Jisoo leaning on Jihoon's shoulder, their hands together in a sweet show of affection. Jeonghan nearly awed at how cute the scene was, but Jihoon was clearly awake, glaring at Jeonghan as if challenging him to say anything, so Jeonghan just smirked and approached them. He helped put Jisoo to bed, then thanked Jihoon for staying with him. Jihoon rolled his eyes but said nothing of it. 

It was true, though. All their friends were growing closer to Jisoo than ever before. Seungcheol was incredibly protective after the whole fiasco at the restaurant, and Chan was doing everything possible to make it up to Jisoo. Mingyu made it a point to always bring over food whenever he stopped by their dorm, and Jisoo always looked delighted, so Jeonghan decided he needed to learn how to cook just so he could see that face again.

When Jun finally performed their play after all the adjustments, Jisoo was in the audience, cheering happily. And when Jun threw a bouquet of roses right at Jisoo, thanking him, Jisoo's face turned such a pretty shade of red it made Jeonghan jealous. So naturally he kissed Jisoo to remind him who had the upper hand. And the blush that accompanied that was much more satisfying.

When Soonyoung exhibited his dance performance, Jisoo was also there. He clapped loudly afterwards, and when Soonyoung pulled him onto the stage and announced that Jisoo was the member of honor, Jisoo's beaming face was enough to leave Jeonghan contented forever.

Jisoo finally attended one of Hansol's parties, though he was still barred from drinking. So instead they did other stuff, like pillow fights and lighting up fireworks, and the way the sparks reflected in Jisoo's eyes rivaled the stars in the sky. 

"You know," Jisoo instigated, catching the attention of the partying group. "You all mean a lot to me. No matter what happens, I just want you guys to know that you all have a special place right here." He pointed to the left area of his chest, directly over his heart.

"That was so cheesy hyung," Seungkwan said, while the others laughed or ran over to Jisoo to barrage him. 

"Well, that's just the way I am," Jisoo replied, grinning. "Maybe Jeonghan's rubbing off on me."

At that comment, Jeonghan reached over and lightly flicked Jisoo on the forehead, and when Jisoo pouted, he kissed the spot, just as he'd always kissed Jisoo right on the temple. He ignored the gagging noises made by the rest of his friends. It was almost as if things were back to normal and nothing could go wrong. And Jeonghan hated the fact that he felt as if things were going to smoothly, like he expected something bad to happen. No, Jisoo would be fine. He'd been fine all along so nothing should change that. His hair still hadn't fallen out and it'd been a few weeks since the diagnosis. Hopefully during the next scheduled checkup all would be well.

Jeonghan was at class when it happened. He got a call from Soonyoung. Now that in and of itself should've been nothing startling, but he knew Soonyoung rarely called people, and on top of that, he was with Jisoo at the moment. So Jeonghan excused himself from class to take the call.

"Hello?"

"H-hyung, you need to come to the hospital right now."

Jeonghan heart stopped. "Wh-what happened?"

"J-Jisoo-hyung—he wasn't moving—he just stopped moving hyung—" Soonyoung sounded on the verge of tears.

Jeonghan bolted out of the building—class could go itself—and hopped onto the nearest cab, found directions for the hospital Jisoo was at, and hurried to find him. 

He wasn't the only one informed. Seungcheol had shown up, panic written on his face. True to his assumptions, Soonyoung was crying, his face buried in his hands. As much as Jeonghan wanted to know more, he could see how visibly shaken up the younger was, so instead he sat next to him, gripping the edge of the seat tightly as every second ticked by. Jun, Wonwoo, and Jihoon also arrived, and it was clear only the older ones in their friend circle were told.

After what seemed like forever, the doctor came by, his face looking dark. It couldn't be good news, given the way his mouth was pressed in a firm line. "Should I wait or would you all like to hear it now?"

Seungcheol spoke up for them. "Just...get it over with."

"His condition has gotten worse," the doctor admitted, looking at all of them. "The chemo didn't do much to stop the spreading of the cancer cells. He had a seizure, which is one of the critical signs."

Oh, god no. Don't say it, please don't say it.

"He's progressed to stage four."

It was like a death sentence, and they all knew it. Nobody could remain calm, not when news like this hits home. Soonyoung continued to cry, while the others were trying their best not to break down. 

Jeonghan took a deep breath. He had to know. "How is he right now?"

The doctor gave him a faint smile. "Well, he seems to be fine right now. We need to administer more tests and see what is treatable." He finally walked away, and that's when everybody lost it.

"Oh god..." Jun's voice was hoarse. "This isn't happening."

"How are we going to tell the others? His parents?" Jihoon lamented, his face in his hands.

Seungcheol closed his eyes. "I can't...I can't believe this," he said thickly, his eyes were screwed shut, forcing back the tears that threatened to escape. 

Even Wonwoo's eyes were shining. "We can't tell the kids, they'll flip out." His voice was gruff, and he looked up at the ceiling, fists clenched.

"Somebody has to tell them," Jihoon responded sullenly. "..."

Jeonghan remained silent, trying to process everything that was happening. Jisoo and stage four shouldn't even belong in the same sentence. It made no sense. 

His best friend, his lover, there was no way Jisoo could just...leave, right?

"Oh my god..." the realization hit him like a bucket of ice cold water and he felt himself crumble. "Jisoo's being taken away from me..."

Everybody looked at him, pain written on their faces. And Jeonghan never felt more helpless before, never felt more like screaming at the universe, because why? Why would something like this happen? How could it possibly be that his one and only was abandoning him?

In his numbed state, he was vaguely aware that Jisoo's parents had finally arrived, but he couldn't say a word and just watched as the news sunk in, watched as both parents went to pieces over it, and watched as the stupidly bright lights spun around him like a whirlwind, taunting him.

After a long day, the doctor urged them all to go home. Family members were the only ones allowed to stay overnight, so the others reluctantly pulled themselves to their feet.

"Wait, which one of you is Jeonghan?" the doctor interjected, looking at the group.

Jeonghan tentatively raised his hand. The doctor gave him a light smile. "Jisoo was asking for you, so you can stay."

After bidding the remaining of his friends farewell, he sat back down next to Jisoo's parents. The doctor adjusted his glasses, looking tired. "Well, we have some more news on his state. With how far the cancer cells have spread, it's likely he has up to 9 months left, if that. We're estimating a 6 month cutoff before things get out of hand. At this point, the chemo is only being administered to reduce the pain."

The end of the line was approaching faster than they would've ever imagined possible. After that, it was only a painful silence, and Jeonghan felt Jisoo's mother lightly brush his shoulder. 

"Jeonghan," she said softly, turning towards him. "It's been a while, hasn't it?"

Jeonghan could only smile back, not trusting his voice. Jisoo's mother pulled him into a hug, and then he hugged his father before facing them once more.

"I'm so sorry," Jeonghan croaked, looking at the ground.

Jisoo's mother chuckled. "Silly boy, it has nothing to do with you. Jisoo loves you so much, you know? And we always considered you as our second son."

Jeonghan's heart ached at her kind words. "A-auntie..."

Eventually, they were told they could visit Jisoo, and Jeonghan steeled himself, reminding himself not to drag Jisoo down by looking depressed. The sharp scent of disinfectant reached his nose and he hated it. But what he hated to see more was Jisoo lying on the bed, hooked up to wires with a breathing mask over his small face. When he saw them, he strained his hand upwards and gave them a small wave of reassurance.

Jeonghan walked over to him and held his hand like he always did. "Jisoo," he whispered.

Jisoo's eyes shined, even now they were reflecting pinpricks of light. "Hi Jeonghannie," he replied, his voice muffled by the mask. He gave Jeonghan a delicate smile and it took all of Jeonghan's willpower to smile back.

From now on, it would just be a race against time.

After hearing about his condition, Jisoo insisted he be taken off chemotherapy. Naturally, people were against it, but Jisoo knew the chemo did nothing more than lower the pain, and deemed it unnecessary. At that point, it was really certain that Jisoo's time was limited. So by the end of May, he was taken off treatment and only stopped by the hospital for checkups. He had to return much more frequently, almost daily, so Jisoo finally decided to just stay at the hospital to reduce the trouble. At the very least, he relished in the fact that he still had a head full of hair.

His friends, who'd in the past often stopped by his dorm to check up on him, now made it their priority to visit him at the hospital, talking about their day or if some new development happened. Jisoo's personal favorite was finding out that Mingyu and Wonwoo were now a thing, and Jeonghan made a face over how excited he was over it. "You weren't even that excited when we finally got together," he accused, pouting slightly.

"Th-that's different. Do you know how long I was waiting for them to get together?" Jisoo defended. Jeonghan kept pouting, though, so Jisoo, who'd been sitting up in his bed, got up and wrapped his arms around Jeonghan, and the latter was all too eager to give in and let their lips connect in one fluid movement. Jeonghan had always been the more impatient of the two, so soon his hands were roaming all over the younger's body, ing his shirt and exploring the smooth expanse of skin beneath. They'd never really done much before beyond the usual physical touches and kisses, so Jisoo was slightly nervous as Jeonghan continued to press his lips against the other's jaw, then his neck, then his chest. When Jeonghan finally pulled back for a moment, his eyes were hazy with desire, and Jisoo felt compelled to keep staring at those eyes of his for longer.

"Jisoo, you're beautiful, you know that?" Jeonghan murmured, gaze falling back onto the younger's exposed torso. 

"Takes one to know one," Jisoo replied, intending for it to come out flirty but the breathlessness in his voice made Jeonghan smirk instead. He moved to kiss him again when there was a knock on the ward door. A nurse popped in, looking slightly uncomfortable over having interrupted the two of them, but it was her job, after all. She announced that it was time for Jisoo's scheduled checkup so Jeonghan reluctantly left, but not before kissing Jisoo once more on the forehead.

Once, Seungcheol stopped by, and when Jisoo asked how the others were, he was met with a pressed smile. "The kids are fine," he muttered, not meeting Jisoo's eyes.

Jisoo obviously saw right through the facade. "Seungcheol, what's wrong?" Seungcheol looked up at him, his eyes dark and it worried Jisoo.

"Nothing, Seokmin's just being a bit...odd. Don't worry, we've talked to him," Seungcheol said, but it was obvious that he was upset.

"Odd?" Jisoo repeated, leaning forward. Of all of them, Seokmin had always been the brightest, the most positive no matter what the situation.

Seungcheol shifted in his seat. "He's just...I don't know. He won't talk anymore, he's being kind of a brat to everybody. It's fine Jisoo, we've taken care of it."

Jisoo's eyes were full of worry. "Can I see him?" he asked. Their one and only happy virus, if he was upset over all this, then Jisoo felt the need to try and fix it.

Seeing Jisoo's restlessness, Seungcheol placed a hand on his shoulder. "Look, we're alright, Jisoo. Really. The younger ones just need some time to figure things out."

"I-I still want to see him," Jisoo pleaded, and Seungcheol gave in, calling Seokmin on his phone. When the latter