Jeno’s Playlist for Songs About My Moomin Boyfriend

Dirty Laundry-All Time Low

“No Jeno, I am not putting on dirty laundry, it’s disgusting.”

“Why do you have to take the romance out of this song?”

“Why do you want me to smell like a skunk?”

“I was just… never mind.”

******************

“Hmmmph…hmmmmm…”

Jeno felt a strange motion going on in between his thighs as his eyes refused to open from deep slumber. It’s disturbing, yet somewhat enticing.

“Feels nice…” he moaned softly.

“Babe?”

“Junnie…what the !!” Jeno’s eyes opened slightly when he heard his boyfriend’s voice, but he almost screamed and kicked when he realized it was a dog on his lap, at the crotch of his pants. Donghyuck didn’t even bother to stifle a laughter as the dog scurried away, his tongue still hanging out after he had spent the last few minutes sniffing and Jeno’s crotch.

“Holy what the…”

“Hahahahahahahaha!!! Not the morning call you were expecting, weren’t you?” Renjun teased, kissing Jeno’s temple softly.

“Jesus Christ I was actually enjoying myself.” Jeno rubbed his eyes lazily. “Why didn’t you shoo it away?”

“We didn’t notice the dog until a few minutes ago.” Mark said, gargling his mouth with some water before spitting it out by a tree just a few feet away. “So, how does it feel to get a from a dog?”

“Wet.” Everyone laughed at Jeno’s extremely despondent and confused face.

“You should be thankful. That’s the only kind of you’ll be getting on this road trip.”

“Shut up Donghyuck.” Jeno stuck his tongue out. “At least I’m getting some.”

“From a dog? Yeah sure, keep telling yourself that.” Donghyuck answered back, a smirk growing on his naughty face as Renjun slapped his arm, telling him to keep quiet but even he couldn’t stop laughing.

“Yuck…now I really need a shower.”

“I think we all do.” Mark agreed. “We need more wet wipes and lots more water. I don’t think we have enough for this journey.”

“We found a nice waterfall a few miles along this highway.” Renjun said. “Maybe we can freshen up then. It’s not ideal but it’s the best solution for now.”

“Okay everybody! Come grab your eggs and toast!” Donghyuck carried out a pan of fried eggs and toast he had buttered on one side. “I’d make coffee but there’s no press or beans here.”

“It’s fine, have some soda.”

“Soda in the morning?” Mark raised an eyebrow.

“Hey, it’s not like our parents can mail us a full course English breakfast, now can they?” Jeno shrugged, chugging down some Mountain Dew. Breakfast was simple, high in calories and sugar (Mark knew that if his father found out he would have a heart attack) but it was enough to get them through till lunch.

“We should stop for dinner at a nearby town or something.” Jeno said as they tried to clean up after breakfast, getting ready to hit the road again.

“For some odd reason, I’m craving sushi.”

“Me too, I’m craving burgers and fries.”

“We can’t afford those. We’re on a budget remember?” Mark said.

“You’re forgetting, I have my mother’s credit card.” Donghyuck grinned, flashing the card between his fingers. “It’s settled then. For the next dinner, we’re eating out!”

******************

“What’s all this?” Donghyuck pointed at the pin-up board, where they had stuck all their necessary information, including the maps, nearest towns, list of emergency contacts and a picture of Scarwood Palace.

“Our trip information.” Mark answered, resting his head against a stack of pillows. It was Jeno’s turn again at the wheel, so now he and Renjun were in front, as they were the only two who knew where the waterfall was.

“What’s this place?”

“That’s Scarwood Palace, our final destinantion.”

“I’ve never heard of it.”

“It’s an old legend. My dad told me that if you went to Scarwood Palace, you would find the answers you seek.”

“What answers?”

“The answers to your questions.”

“How could going to a beat-up castle answer your questions? Is there a mystical shaman there who could see your future and tell you when you would die?”

“I don’t know. When we arrive, you could ask that and see what you get as an answer.”

“It’s probably just a bunch of bull. You know, made up legends to encourage tourism.”

“It’s not bull okay?” Mark rolled his eyes. “Just because you don’t understand it doesn’t mean you get to knock the fun out of it.”

“Okay I get it.” Donghyuck raised his hands in defeat. He didn’t want to cross Mark so he sat opposite him in the van as they drove down the highway. Donghyuck tucked his arms under his thighs as he bought them close to his chest. The van hit a small bump and Donghyuck was nearly thrown aside.

“My bad! Missed that pothole!”

“You better sit next to me.” Mark said, pulling Donghyuck’s arm. “Jeno has a tendency to lean to the left when he drives.”

Donghyuck didn’t argue as he slowly crawled his way over to Mark and sat next to him, knees touching, hands touching, hearts palpitating.

******************

“You sure this is the place?”

“Yep! That’s the entrance. Sunny Point Waterfall.” Renjun pointed at a sign. “Turn left here Jeno!”

“Woah.” Mark’s jaw dropped when they arrived upon the entrance. There were already lots of cars carrying other teenagers, parents with children and even tourists in buses. The parking lot itself was so full of people, it even had trashy gift shops and concession stands that made it look more like a jungle version of the Grand Canyon or something like that.

“That is a lot of people. I don’t even think I can find a space to park.”

“Let’s try parking some ways up there, and then we can walk.”

“This is a bummer.” Donghyuck said. “There’s too many people for us to properly clean up. We can’t be going into the falls all and stuff.”

“God look at all these cars. I guess we’re not the only one with the same idea.”

“Jeno! Over there! There’s a space out front!” Mark pointed to a spot that just came into view. The van was parked and everyone aligned.

“We’re in front of somebody’s property.” Renjun said, looking at a small wooden house that was a few feet away from their van. “Is it okay to park here?”

“We don’t have a choice, we’re already way far out from the entrance.” Mark said. “It’s fine. Let’s not take too long. I’m sure whoever who lives here won’t mind.”

“Then why is that old man staring at us with a shotgun in his hand?”

“What the…”

A wrinkled face with frowns so deep was staring at the four young boys from his window. He opened it and yelled “Get off my property you rascals or I’ll shoot your heads off!”

“Run!!” the four of them ran from the van as the old man kept waving his fist in the air. Jeno could have sworn he was trying to raise a middle finger, but the man probably had carpel tunnel and couldn’t stretch that finger out.

******************

“I seriously don’t think we can do this here.” Donghyuck shook his head at the crowd heading towards Sunny Point Falls. “There’s too many people.”

“What do we do then?”

“Relax and follow me guys.”

“Donghyuck where are you…”

“I wasn’t nominated to be leader of the Bears Club for no reason.” He grinned. “Do you know what my nickname was?”

“What?”

“It’s Hunter, because I can find just about anything as long as I set my mind to it. In fact I…”

“How about finding yourself a mouth with zips and legs that walk?” Jeno shoved him playfully. “Just get on with it, there’s people behind us.”

The four of them trekked off the beaten path. They passed three streams at the bottom, a smaller waterfall and even Sunny Point itself. Donghyuck took them higher and higher up for almost 3 hours.

“Hyuck…where…” Mark panted heavily, shifting his backpack on his shoulders. “Where…are…we…”

“Just a little more. Trust me.” Donghyuck said, pushing away some branches.

“We…are...we…passed…”

“Tada!” Donghycuk said as they came to a clearing, revealing a beautiful waterfall before them. The water was rushing down at top speed, creating a gorgeous curtain that emptied into a pool before them. The sun was shining just above it, and the best part: secluded and private.

“Every land waterfall has a mother waterfall.” Donghyuck grinned. “We just have to climb higher to find it.”

“It’s beautiful.” Renjun said in awe of its majesty.

“Finally, god I am so sticky and sweaty.” Jeno peeled off his shirt and his pants. “Last one in here is a rotten egg!”

“Lee Jeno wait!!!” Mark’s face was splashed by icy cold water as Jeno jumped in, splashing water all around.

“Oh yes! This is amazing! Renjun come on in!!” and another body jumped in.

“Wait for me!!” Donghyuck peeled off all his clothes and jumped in, laughing as the cold water hit his hot skin, and he splashed about like a duck. Seconds later, Mark jumped in, and all four of them were laughing, splashing water all about.

“Let’s get Mark hyung!”

“What the…why me?!?!”

“Because you were the last one, so you’re the rotten egg!!!”

“Wait!!! Donghyuck if you try to…ah!!!!” he was dunked in by the youngest boy, before retaliating and trying to dunk him. All four of them were like this for a while, just splashing water on each other, trying to pull off each other’s underwear and screaming as they jumped went under the curtain of water, feeling nature pour down their heads and through every inch of their skin.

******************

“Isn’t this paradise?”

“It sure is.” Jeno said, patting Mark on the back as they made their way down the mountain. They said goodbye to Full of Pee Falls (aptly named because Donghyuck peed in it 3 times) and trekked down the mountain side. Renjun and Donghyuck were a few feet in front, with Renjun’s hands in Donghyuck as he wasn’t so experienced in trekking.

“I’m glad we did this.” Mark smiled. “We would have never been able to find that waterfall if it wasn’t for Donghyuck.”

“And to think, we were almost going to send him home.” Jeno grinned. “Glad we didn’t do that.”

“Where should we head to next?”

“It’s almost evening now. We should find a town and get something to eat.” Jeno said, carefully avoiding a fallen log as they continued their trek. “Look in front,” he pointed at the two boys, holding hands as they crossed a stream. “Isn’t that the most adorable thing you have ever seen?”

“Yeah.”

“My boyfriend and yours.”

“Donghyuck is not my boyfriend.”

“Sure.”

“He’s not.”

“Uh huh.”

“Jeno,” Mark pulled him back. “Do you know something that I don’t?”

“Maybe I do, maybe I don’t.”

“Stop talking in riddles and spit it out.”

“Why should I tell you everything? It spoils the fun of discovery.” Jeno teased. “Figure it out yourself.”

******************

“Is he still watching us?” Donghyuck asked as he carefully entered the van. They didn’t dare came in from the front, not with that old man and his gun. Instead, they tried to crawl in through the back.

“I don’t think so. He’s not at his window.” Mark said.

“Old bastard.” Jeno grumbled. “He threatened to shoot us just because we stepped on his land. Seriously, this is a popular tourist destination! There were probably lots of other people who have trodden on his land.”

“I can’t wait to get out of here. He gives me the creeps.” Renjun shuddered.

“I don’t know about you but I’m still sticky.” Donghyuck groaned uncomfortably. “I totally forgot that we would sweat on our way down and get all sticky again.”

“Me too.” Mark shifted in his seat. “We have to go find another shower again.”

“I think there’s one…” the discussion was interrupted by a spray of water from the sprinklers in the old man’s yard. Donghyuck didn’t waste a single second in removing all his clothes once again.

“Wait, what are you…HYUCK!!!!”

“Come on guys!!!! It’s shower time!!” Donghyuck sprinted across the yard in his underwear, water dripping everywhere.

“I don’t know about you but I’m going. Come on Renjun!”

“What are you guys doing get back here!!!” Mark yelled from the van. “He could come back for us anytime!”

“Oh yeah, well do you know what I really think of you, you old monster?!” Donghyuck yelled at the house. “This is what I think of you!” he turned around and flashed his bottom, raising two middle fingers in the air. Mark screamed in horror as he dashed out, running under the sprinklers and pulling Donghyuck in his arms.

“ARE YOU TRYING TO GET US KILLED ?!?!?!”

“Hey! What are you monsters doing?!?!?”

“ RUN!!!” Mark pushed Jeno and Renjun, dragging Donghyuck with his other hand. He climbed into the driver’s seat, all wet with water dripping and entering his eyes, but he couldn’t care less as he started the engine and shot off like a rocket. Donghyuck, Jeno and Renjun were screaming as the old man ran out his house, this time without his rifle, but he was waving his fists again angrily, mouthing curses so filthy no amount of Holy water could cleanse his dark soul.

“Holy …”

“Oh my god you guys are insane!” Mark yelled. “Why did you just…you guys…”

“That was fun!!!” Donghyuck cackled, grabbing a towel to wipe his body off. “Did you see his ugly face?!” he pulled a face and everyone in the back was laughing.

“We are never doing this again.” Mark said, trying to sound serious, but he couldn’t stop a grin from forming on his lips. “That was a stupid mistake.”

“We are teenagers Mark.” Jeno said. “We live on stupid mistakes.”