The first time came like nothing during a practice session, we were both have been working on the Rumor choreography all they day long.

We ended sitting on the floor next to each other, the studio was completely silent and keep talking about anything and nothing at the time. After a few minutes me remained silent, he just smiled to me and said it as it were a good morning greeting.

“I love you, Tae” left his lips and the smile came back to his face and his arms surrounded me.

The second time that it occurred was during a gym workout. I was totally exhausted after been on the machines doing one of my hardest ever routines.

Matthew, was lifting weights as they were cotton, repeatedly and I was just admiring him for a moment. After he had enough, we both came in the changing room.

A short kiss on the lips was followed by a…

“You know I love you, right? I know you hate to workout but I was glad to had you over here today, J”

I could feel how the tips of my ears were from embarrassment, partly for him knowing me that well and how he was shamelessly undressing in front of me.

The third time it happened was on a beautiful morning of a day off. By that time were yet to do anything but we sleep together on the same bed and I frankly loved to wake up with BM by my side every morning but I wasn't admitting that out loud.

I took myself out from the bed and went to the kitchen that was located inside our dorm. Maybe I wasn't ready to express how felt with words but that didn't stopped to showcase them through actions.

So before BM woke up I had breakfast for the both of ready.

“I hope that those are pancakes” said a deep voice from behind as a pair of strong arms hugged me.

“ I love you, J. Thank you so much for this, you know I love a pile of pancakes in the morning” BM said as kisses were deposited on my neck and I was no one to complain about that.

The fourth time was in front of the girls while we were traveling back the DSP Media’s HQ. It was such a long and tough day... I was resting my head over Matthew’s shoulder. He and Somin were rambling about some meaningless topic and I was fighting the urge to sleep and at some point I just stopped fighting.

When I woke up, the girls and BM were talking so I kept my eyes closed to try to hear what were them about.

“The both of you make such a cute couple ” Jiwoo said in our direction as I assumed left the van because her voice became weaker.

“You don’t even know how much I love him ” BM said to no one and rested his head over mine, during the last part of our trip in the way back to our dorm with that warm feeling growing inside of me.

It occurred another time and with that one were five times, was in front of the fans during a performance of the Wild Kard Tour in the US. I have never ever been more embarrassed in my whole life.

I mean I have heard it a few times by now, but never in front of anyone out of the group. So you may understand that when I heard “ There is no one that I love more than what I love Tae ” through the arena’s speakers, I was paralyzed. I knew that for the fans it was just a display of affection but BM’s full of love gaze told that he meant everything he said and  that made feel warm inside.

The fans were screaming pretty loud and Matthew just crossed the stage to hug me and the made the shouting even worse. When the fans were already calm I was able to hear a weak ‘ You know that it's true, sweetie ’ and I wasn't able to stop my lips on curving into a smile.

I have been dating Matthew for months now. I was incredibly happy… In fact, I was happier than I have ever been. However, I was having a terrible day… It was my birthday and everyone congratulated me, in person or via SNS… Everyone but Matthew… We even saw each other in the morning and not even a birthday kiss was given nor an Instagram post… Nothing.

I was (we all were) off for the day and so the whole afternoon was done. The clock was marking 8pm when the door of the apartment was open. BM entered as nothing as just told to go somewhere with him.

My mind was blank and full of thoughts at the same time. I was trying to calm down and realise that I was just a simple date and it wasn't something special by the other side I keep thinking that should at least recall something that important about someone you do love.

The car has already stopped on the entrance of the park where met each other for the first time. The flashbacks of how everything started where hitting my like truck… I felt a tiny tear fell down of my eye and he wiped it immediately.

“Look in front of you, Tae”

The same tree where BM asked me out was completely decorated with photographs of the both of us. There was pic of every remarkable moment in our relationship. Even there was selfie from the day of the van, that I didn't know that existed.

The feeling was so overflowing that I wasn't able to control myself… I was crying rivers like there wasn't a tomorrow. This time Matthew hushed me with a chase kiss and wiped the long run of tears that were resting on my face. When I was relax he kneeled and said…

“I know, that I wouldn't be able to marry you at this moment… However I also know that I want to spend the rest of my life with you and don't need a paper to tell me that. Whichever the case, I want you to have this ring as a proof the titanic love that I feel for you, my dear Taehyung”

The beautiful ring and that blue and green stone that came within was know resting casually on my finger. I wasn't able to keep that to me anymore…

“Matthew, at this moment it's not possible for me to reject this from you even if I wanted to… For a second I thought that I was letting you in inside of my heart, however you just stole it completely. I love you, Kim Matthew and I do apologize for not been able to say it out loud but you need to know that I have been in love with you even before you confessed to my under this same tree”

“You can't even imagine how happy yours just made me… Plus, there is no need to apologize, honey, do you really think that I didn't notice how you would wake up to me make food for me, get out of bed just to put a blanket over me all of those times. I knew it from a long time but hearing it from you was amazing, babe”

We kissed for a long time and had dinner over a purple blanket… The blanket I put over him a few days ago…

“Also Tae, did you really thought that I was able to forget your birthday?”

“Well, we even saw each other in the morning and don't even said nothing to me… You were so mean Matt” That bastard was laughing in front of my face as nothing.

“I would never forget your birthday, babe. However was an amazing opportunity to tease and I was no one to let it pass, especially if you were pissed off all day”

“Aaarrrrggg!!! How do I even felt in love with you!”

“It doesn't matter now… You did, as I did with you and that is something I will never regret ”

“Damn you and your ability to always say the right thing”

“Happy birthday, my love” and a last kiss was shared.