Just One Letter

Jennie wants to scream, lash out at the blonde, telling her to stop ruining everything.

But that would be just silly, wouldn't it?

So instead, she does what she does best - walks away, wincing internally at the clacking sound her soccer shoes make against the concrete.

She doesn't go far though, because the blonde blocks her way. And as much as Jennie wants to just shove her away, she simply cannot bring herself to touch the other girl. Afraid her body would react with another wave of nauseous heat at the contact.

“Please don't go,” the girl says, her resolute eyes looking straight into Jennie's. “I promise I won't tell anyone.”

Jennie scoffs, giving the blonde her meanest look. “Of course you won't, unless you want me to break these precious legs of yours.”

The girl frowns and Jennie can tell she doesn't believe her one bit. No wonder. It's a ridiculous threat. Besides, the girl wouldn't go without a fight, most surely. And Jennie isn't convinced she would come out on top if it came down to that.

(The whole scenario sends a revolting shiver down her spine.)

“Move,” she utters through clenched teeth, but the stubborn girl doesn't even budge.

“We could play here together,” she mumbles, sounding almost desperate.“No one would know. It's not like I'm supposed to be here either.”

Jennie's eyebrows furrow in curiosity. She wonders what the girl means by her last words but doesn't inquire.

“No,” she states curtly.

The girl's shoulders slump, lips forming a sad pout as her gaze escapes to the starless sky above them.

“Fine,” she sighs. “Then I'll leave, but you stay here and keep doing what you were doing.”

She makes a cautious step backwards, but Jennie uses that moment to just walk briskly past her.

“Hey! You forgot your ball!”

Jennie hears the blonde holler behind her but doesn't stop her march. Seconds later her ball flies above her head, landing some distance away in front of her.

Glancing over her shoulder, Jennie sees that the girl is already focused on practicing her shots, and so, she scoops the ball onto her foot and into her arms.

Then she runs, stopping only when she reaches her home.

(She cannot sleep that night.

Plagued by the images of blond hair fluttering in the nightly air.)
 

* * *
 

Kim Jennie plays soccer.

“Lisa!” Jisoo shouts, forcing Lisa to focus back on the game.

The striker blinks away her unfocused gaze, but it's too late. Momo breezes past her, easily whisking the ball away from under her unmoving feet. Jisoo shakes her head in disappointment and waves Lisa off when the girl mouths her apology.

Minutes later, their P.E teacher and coach signals the end of practice. Before she rounds them up and discusses the strategy for the upcoming match, she gives them a few minutes of break.

Lying down on the grass, Lisa basks in the warm glow of the spring sun until a shadow looms over her. Chaeyoung throws a bottle with cold water to her and she catches it, sitting up.

“Thanks.”

Lisa downs the drink greedily while Chaeyoung plops next to her.

“What?” the blonde asks once the bottle is dry and her friend's eyes are still on her.

“Everything okay?”

“Yeah,” Lisa mutters, wiping with the back of her hand.

“Girls are worried. They've never seen you so out of it,” Chaeyoung states quietly. “Something happened at home? Is it about your dad talking about law schools again?”

Lisa shakes her head, fiddling with the bottle's cap. She wonders whether she should tell Chaeyoung what she saw yesterday.

For as long as their friendship lasts, they've never kept any secrets from each other. Even the matter of Lisa's ual orientation wasn't as much of a secret as it was just Lisa not being entirely sure of it and waiting for the right moment to tell her friend.

What happened yesterday, however, was something else entirely. She promised Jennie she wouldn't tell anyone, and she never was the type to break her promises. Best friends or not, the events of that evening stay just between her and the brunette.

“I'm fine Chaeng,” Lisa finally breaks the silence and puts on her best smile. “Just stressing over the match. Plus, I haven't got much sleep. I probably shouldn't have watched those cat videos till late at night.”

(Jennie reminds her of a cat.

A stray, mistrustful kind that hisses at you when you approach it, before fleeing to its hideout.)

Chaeyoung snorts a laugh and pokes her cheek. “Told you to cut down on those.”

Lisa swats away her palm and falls back onto the ground, closing her eyes.

“And don't worry about the match. I'm sure we'll win.”

Lisa hums her approval, but her mind is already on a different path.

No matter how hard she tries to keep her thoughts about Jennie at bay, her mind stubbornly keeps returning to the events from the yesterday's evening.

She's not sure she believes in fate. Unlike Yuna, who keeps reading those horoscopes, she never gave the concept much thought. But there was certainly something special, for the lack of a better word, about that evening.

Not only had she sneaked out of the house for the first time in her life, but also happened to see Kim Jennie kick a ball while donning a pair of sleek red soccer shoes (that must have cost her a small fortune).

Lisa could tell the girl wasn't new to the game. Just like she knew that kick back then during the P.E class wasn't just amateur's luck. Jennie's posture coupled with the precision and strength behind her shots, it all suggested that she must have trained soccer at some point in her life.

But if so, then why she hasn't joined their school's team? Why she hangs out with Jimin? None of this makes sense. It's almost as if that evening was just a very bizarre lucid dream.

Except it wasn't.

And now all Lisa can think of is how to convince Jennie to play with her in that secluded place under the cover of the night.

The easiest way would be just to go and talk to her. But that strategy proved fruitless twice already. Apparently, Kim Jennie isn't much of a talker.

A soft nudge to her shoulder interrupts Lisa's thoughts. She squints her eyes, watching Chaeyoung as she dusts off her yellow shorts.

“The nap is over, Champ. Coach is calling us,” her friend informs and jogs towards their teammates who gather in a circle around their teacher.

Groaning inwardly, Lisa stands up from the ground and joins the team soon after.

She tries her best to stay focused and listen to their coach as she goes over the strategy for their upcoming match. But the truth is attentiveness has never been her forte. That's why her mind soon replaces the 'pressing play' for plans on 'how to make Kim Jennie play again'.

(Why she cares so much?

She isn't sure.

But it may have something to do with that cute smile that lit up Jennie's features that evening.)
 

* * *
 

The solution comes to Lisa unexpectedly during a particularly boring history lesson, which nonetheless, gives her the most brilliant and simplest idea.

A letter - an old mean of communication nearly forgotten in today's day and age but still perfect for indirect confessions.

She could write Jennie a letter, leave it in the girl's locker, and what happens next is entirely up to the brunette. She may take her up on the offer, or simply ignore it.

(Somehow Lisa doesn't want to believe that the outcome may be much worse than that.

Like her ending up with a black eye and a bleeding nose.

Maybe it's naive, but unlike Chaeyoung, she thinks that Jennie is all bark and no bite.)

Having decided on a plan, Lisa rips a sheet of paper from her notebook and ponders on what she should write. Something short and straight to the point should do the trick. Jennie probably won't have patience for anything longer than two sentences.

She begins to scribble and once she's satisfied with the final outcome, she politely asks the teacher whether she can leave to use the toilet.

Chaeyoung slants her a questioning glance, but Lisa ignores her and hurries out of the classroom after the graying man grants her his permission to leave.

But instead to the toilet, Lisa runs to the second floor and easily finds Jennie's locker.

(The brunette has a habit of leaning against it during the breaks while talking to her boyfriend.

Lisa have seen the picture enough times to have it committed to her memory.)

Without hesitation, she slips the folded piece of paper inside the locker and walks back to the classroom.

Now all that's left is to wait, which is easier said than done.

At some point during the lesson, Chaeyoung asks her (in a stage whisper, although Lisa is pretty sure the teacher is half deaf) whether she has developed some kind of OCD with the way she keeps checking the time on her phone, every five seconds.

Lisa doesn't really know what to say and settles for a sheepish grin.

Chaeyoung sighs, shaking her head and muttering something that sounds awfully similar to a 'weirdo'.
 

* * *
 

Jennie clicks her pen in quick successions, counting down minutes to the last bell.

The day has turned out surprisingly okay, despite her initial fears of being followed by judging stares and snide remarks.

For some unfathomable reason, the story of her yesterday's P.E incident hasn't become the most discussed topic at school. And more importantly, it hasn't reached Chanmi, Mina or Seolhyun. Apparently, Jimin hasn't shared that one with them.

But the fact doesn't completely rid Jennie of the uneasiness that squeezes her chest.

Because what if Jimin just waits for the right moment to reveal it? To use it against her? Jennie isn't stupid; she knows the girl won't let it go so easily.

As for the other girl who knows her secret, she's not that much concerned about her. The blonde promised she wouldn't tell anyone, and although Jennie knows little to nothing about her, she believes her.

(She's like Jimin's complete opposite.

Her warm eyes and smile seemingly incapable of lying.)

The final bell rings, snapping Jennie out of her thoughts. She gathers her stuff, leaves the classroom and heads for the lockers. As she opens the metal door, an unfamiliar piece of paper catches her attention.

She picks it up, half-expecting it to be some blackmail letter from Jimin (although that wouldn't be her style), but instead she's met with a neat handwriting saying:In case you've changed your mind, I'll be waiting at eight in the same spot – L.

“What's that?”

Startled by the sudden voice behind her, Jennie shoves the piece of paper back to her locker and shuts its door. Turning around, she faces Seolhyun's curious and amused stare. The long-haired girl towering above her similarly to how the blonde did it yesterday.

“Nothing,” Jennie mutters, adjusting the strap of her backpack.

“A love letter from Bobby?” Seolhyun teases. “You're lucky to have such a romantic guy,” she sighs dreamily, leaning against the lockers.

Jennie offers a lopsided smile as a reply.

(She almost wants to tell the girl she can have him if she wants.)

“Anyway, we're hanging at June's place after school. Jimin sent me to ask whether you'll joins us.”

For a split second, Jennie's thoughts flicker to the note in her locker, but she quickly discards them. No way in hell is she going there again. That blonde girl is clearly out of her mind.

“Sure,” she answers coolly.

Seolhyun makes a tiny elated clap with her palms.

“Great. See you later then.” The girl twirls around and walks away, leaving Jennie alone.

“Yeah, see you.”

After Seolhyun leaves, Jennie makes sure no one observes her anymore. Then she opens the locker and takes out the piece of paper again.

She hasn't noticed it the first time, but at the bottom right corner, there's a drawing of a sitting cat. Its back turned to Jennie and it seems to be waiting for something, or someone, perhaps.

Jennie frowns. A sense of deja vu hangs in the air around her, squeezing her chest and clenching her jaw.

(She also wrote her letters.

Long and short ones.

Jennie burnt them all.)

She crumples the paper in her palm and throws it to the bottom of her locker.
 

* * *
 

Hanging out at June's place means the usual - playing pool in his basement and drinking beer. Jennie would be probably bored out of her mind if not for Hanbin losing pretty badly to Chanmi. For the third time in a row.

He's a sore loser and it's entertaining to watch him throw a fit every time he misses and the younger girl scores.

“Just give it up already. You can't beat her.” Bobby chortles after his friend loses another round and instantly asks for a rematch.

Sitting beside him on a worn out couch, Jennie lets out a chuckle. Mina's phone camera zooming on her for a moment before it focuses on June.

“I'm starting to wonder whether you understand the rules of this game.”

Hanbin looks like he's about to snap, but whatever nasty comeback he has prepared, it's exchanged for another plea.

“One last rematch. I swear.”

Chanmi shrugs, acting all smug and nonchalant, but then Jimin cuts in:

“How about someone else plays now? Jennie? Want to give it a try?” She smiles languidly at Jennie from the opposite end of the couch, huddled under June's protective arm.

“Me? No, thanks,” Jennie declines easily.

She doesn't feel like being in the center of attention. Not now, not ever.

“Why? I bet you're a natural, just like our Chanmi.”

In her peripheral vision, Jennie catches a glimpse of Chanmi's wry face. She isn't sure whether the rest has noticed it, but the younger girl obviously hates it whenever Jimin compares them to each other.

“Aren't you just full of hidden talents, Jen?” Jimin asks, making Jennie's guts twist in sudden dread.

Staring at the smiling girl, Jennie wants to ask her what does she mean by that, but at the same time, she knows exactly to what she's alluding. Her predictions were correct. Jimin was just waiting for the right moment to drop the bomb.

But despite somewhat knowing it would eventually happen, Jennie doesn't have any comeback prepared. She feels like this is it. This is the moment when her carefully crafted facade is going to crumble apart under the malice of her 'supposed' friend.

But then Bobby decides to make another one of his asinine comments.

“You bet she's full of hidden talents. If you know what I mean,” he intones in a suggestive manner, grinning at Jennie.

She frowns at him, having no idea what he means. It's like he just used the opportunity to vaguely hint at something that never happened. Regardless, June and Hanbin seem to have fallen for that as they both wolf-whistle idiotically.

Jennie would be pissed if not for the fact that their reaction successfully diverts everyone's attention from Jimin and her cryptic question. The girl, however, still observes Jennie while sipping her beer. And the message in her eyes is clear - she's letting Jennie off the hook this time.

(For how long though?

That remains a vexing mystery to Jennie.)
 

* * *
 

After witnessing Hanbin lose another round, they finally decide to leave the murky basement and spend some time in June's backyard.

Jennie walks up the stairs that lead out of the basement when she feels Bobby's hand wrap around her wrist stopping her.

She shoots him a questioning look over her shoulder. But the boy puts a finger to his pouty lips and points the couch behind them with his head.

Jennie bites the inside of her cheek.

(She knows what he means.

And what he wants.)

An excuse about not feeling well is already on the tip of her tongue, but she swallows it.

She has been postponing these kind of situations for far too long already.

(He may go whining to June and Hanbin.

Then the girls will find out.

They will start to talk.

And suspect things.)

Giving a small nod, Jennie follows Bobby to the couch once their friends leave to the backyard. Seolhyun closing the door as the last one. Jennie thinks she saw her wink but isn't sure.

Bobby sits down on the couch and she straddles his hips, glad she has chosen jeans over a skirt.

They start to kiss. Without any prelude of soft touches and loving stares. It's not rough, but not gentle either. Jennie tastes the bitter flavor of alcohol on his tongue, and it takes all her willpower not to flinch when his hands slip under her t-shirt.

She tries to get some sort of pleasure out of his touch - convince herself that this is what she wants.

But all this thinking makes it actually harder for her to get into the situation, and it almost becomes an out of body experience for her. She's there physically, kissing him and allowing him to touch her, but her mind is elsewhere.

(Back in New Zealand.

In the locker room after practice.

Where it all began and ended.)

His hands feel rough against her cold skin, and as they descend onto the zipper of her jeans, panic shoots through her rigid body.

“Bobby, stop,” she mutters, breaking the kiss.

“Don't worry. They won't come looking for us,” he mumbles against her neck and continues to work on her jeans, popping their button.

“What the , Bobby?”

Jennie pushes away his palms and leaves his lap.

“I told you to stop,” she yells, fingers trembling as she zips back her jeans.

“Relax babe.” The boy tries to placate her, reaching out to touch her arms.

But Jennie flinches and takes a step back. Her vision turns hazy, and before she realizes, tears are staining her cheeks.

Bobby sighs, running fingers through his messy hair.

“Jen, I'm sorry,” he says in a gentle voice. “You know I would never hurt you, right?”

Jennie draws in a shaky breath, not sure what she's supposed to say.

The lie her mind tells her? Or the truth her trembling body whispers?

“I should be going home,” she finally mutters and heads for the stairs.

“Jennie, wait.” Bobby stands up from the couch, but it only makes Jennie hasten her steps.

“Tell Jimin I wasn't feeling well,” she says, not looking back as she leaves the basement.
 

* * *
 

Jennie hoped the evening breeze would calm her nerves.

But fifteen minutes into her march, she still feels her body thrum with anxiety as she wraps her arms around herself and hangs her head low. Frantic eyes throwing glances at each passing stranger.

And the farther she is from June's home, the bigger the guilt inside her mind grows, telling her that she shouldn't have overreacted like that.

Nothing really happened. They were just fooling around. Besides, he said he wouldn't hurt her. Right?

She could at least join the rest in the backyard. But now it's too late. And Jimin will file this incident as another suspicious and odd thing about Kim Jennie.

In times like these she begins to wonder why she even bothers hanging out with them.

A horn blasts and she jumps to the side.

Frozen in her spot, Jennie stares after the car as it drives away into distance. Somewhere at the back, there's that thought telling her that it wouldn't be so bad if the car had hit her.

She quickly shakes off the morbid idea and continues her walk.

She needs to go somewhere when she will be alone, not surrounded by people's prying eyes.

(They are all like vultures, flocking around their prey and watching as it shuffles through the desert on the brink of exhaustion.

One stumble and they will tear her into pieces.)

She's not sure how she ended up in the abandoned tennis court. It's like her feet gained a mind of their own.

In the distance, she can hear the distinct sound of the ball hitting the wall.

Like in a hypnotic trance, Jennie walks toward the sound, although her mind screams for her to go back. Turn around and run. Because the only thing worse than the eyes filled with judgment are those which make her stumble and fall.

(Disarming.

Enchanting.

Absolutely abominable.)

“You came.”

The blonde stares at her, a smile of sheer happiness curling her lips.

“I didn't think you would.”

“Yeah, well, me neither," Jennie deadpans, averting her gaze to the listless ball under the girl's feet.

Her fists clench as pent up frustration rises within her chest and leaves her shaking again.

And then the blonde passes the ball to her, as if she knows, as if she somehow understands. Even though, Jennie herself doesn't quite get it.

(Is she mad at Bobby?

At the blonde?

Or just at herself?)

Jennie rushes at the ball and kicks it, silencing the unanswered questions. With each hit, the flecks of paint chip away from the wall just like the layers of anger that cover her heart and mind. Caught up in the moment, Jennie doesn't even realize that she's actually playing with the blonde as they take alternate shots at the wall. There's even a hint of competitiveness in these curved balls that are a bit harder to chase after.

And as the game prolongs, the blonde becomes more and more talkative, not at all bothered by Jennie's silence.

“Ooh, that was a good one.”

“Niiiice!”

“Okay, you have to teach me that.”

Jennie cannot decide whether her constant rambling is annoying or amusing. Maybe a bit of both, if that's even possible.

The game has no winners nor losers as they both succumb to exhaustion and make no moves to chase the ball, after it strays into the bushes. Breathless and sweaty, Jennie sits cross-legged on the cold concrete and stares at the dark sky stretching above them.

“Why the sky above Seoul is always starless?” she voices her thoughts aloud.

“I don't know. Pollution?”

Jennie glances at the blonde, who sits beside her, wondering just how in the world they ended up in this situation.

“Yeah, probably,” she mutters, returning her gaze to the sky. “This doesn't mean we are friends,” she adds as an afterthought.

“Oh...”

The girl sounds utterly devastated, but Jennie chooses to ignore it.

“Will you come here tomorrow?”

Jennie's tongue darts to wet her bottom lip as she ponders on her answer.

She shouldn't come here. She knows this. But at the same time, she doesn't remember when was the last time she had so much fun.

(That's a lie.

She remembers.

Vividly.

Just like she remembers all the letters she received.)

“Maybe,” she murmurs, more to herself than to the girl.

“I will.”

The odd determination in the blonde's voice catches Jennie off guard. She looks at her and there's that smile again, wide and content, even despite no promises were made.

“Wha-t? Do I have something on my face?” the girl stammers as she palms at and cheeks in an attempt to wipe away whatever invisible dirt she has there.

Jennie blinks, realizing she has been staring at the girl's face for an unnecessarily long time.

“I should be going. It's late already.”

She stands up from the ground and dusts off her jeans.

“Oh, by the way,” the blonde speaks up as she mimics Jennie's action. “I'm Lalisa, but everyone calls me Lisa. Not just my friends, like literally, everyone. So you can call me Lisa, too.”

Jennie snorts a chuckle because frankly, it's difficult. Difficult to remain cold and impassive in the face of Lisa's silly smile and unnecessarily long introduction, which isn't even needed in the first place.

“Jennie. Just Jennie,” she replies curtly.

Lisa's smile widens impossibly and Jennie takes it as her cue to leave.

(She knows she has lost tonight.

To Jimin.

To Lisa.

And to herself.

But if so, then why does she feel like a winner...?)

TBC
 

Author's Note: I'll edit this later since I'm exhausted right now. I just really wanted to post this already. Hope you'll enjoy it. Thank you for all your support and comments! :D Also, the next update will be Helter Skelter in September, but I don't know the exact date ^^;