"Students, the theme for this coming performance, is Surprise. So, I want you all to show really cool and surprising stages, and well, surprise me too. That means, there will be no full dress rehearsal. We will see how you prepared by yourselves as a team, on the actual stage itself. No chances to improve or correct any mistakes, just one chance to be used wisely."

As always, the other boys accepted the announcement with loud noises, though this time, there were already many shocked gasps and those already pleading to teacher, to no avail. There were also the ones who just worried about it, silently. Those like myself.

"Well, we sure wouldn't have to worry about the surprise part anymore, that's for sure."

I looked to my right side, and Gyu Min hyung was already there. with a small smirk on his handsome face as he glanced to me and then to Seong Wook hyung who's probably somewhere at the back.

I wished I could feel good about it, but I couldn't shake off the worry over how people would respond to our performance, particularly Sung Wook hyung's dance break part. I mean, EXO sunbaenim is a big name and they have some of the biggest number of fans. What if the fans are offended by the bug dance?

It's cool though. Really. I should heed his advice about not caring what others have to say, but saying is always easier than doing, and agreeing is always easier than believing deep down. As much as I wanted to believe we would come out of this unscathed, there's always the possibility of failure, of hurtful reactions, and those could affect our grades, and possibly put us in danger. I've heard of rumours spreading around that the academy might decide to conduct an elimination earlier than year end, according to our monthly performances' results. Although rumours come and go, and some could be really wild...like that one time, there's gay rumours after two students did a suggestive dance together for a performance, and also one, of the academy being a secret ion ring because of how many students like to take out their clothing pieces during performances to hype the crowd, and also, the countless dating rumours, since we're not supposed to be in any relationship for as long as we're in the agency, and also the bullying and cheating for votes rumours, but nothing came close as worrying as this one. At least for me, and friends in the same boat, the bottom ranking students. My team.

We could be thrown out at any time...and...I'm just not ready to leave. Even though it doesn't seem like anyone would be affected whether I'm here or not, getting into this academy was already like a gift, a blessing, an opportunity that not everyone could have the chance of experiencing...and having to leave without having a performance that didn't leave you with any regrets, and one you would remember for the rest of your life and be proud of, would be just sad. Like you wasted that precious chance handed to you.

"Then don't waste it."

Sung Wook hyung suddenly appeared on my other side. He didn't even look at me, and was staring at teacher who was still giving his usual speech of reminding us to do our best and also information about our upcoming performance schedule and venue in front of our assembly square, but even so I was certain he was talking to me, but...how did he know? I didn't say my thoughts aloud, or did I?

I contemplated whether I should ask him about it or if it would be better to pretend I didn't hear anything. But before I could decide he already made his move to the back. What really just happened? Did he came to the front just to say that?

But... he was right. I never felt like I had performed in any way that had made me felt proud of myself. 

It's not an easy thing to feel that sense of pride, when there's just nothing to be proud of compared to other students here who all have their own specialties or things they're known and respected for, not to mention their achievements. Sometimes, it makes me wonder if people are all born into this world, with their places already decided, and no matter how hard you try, you can never fit in a place that was never meant to be yours in the first place. But then, have I really tried hard enough?

The next day, it was finally time for our monthly performance where we're continously evaluated. There was a team of stylist noonas who had been hard at work since early morning to style our hairs and prepared nice clothes for us that would make us look cool on stage while performing. It's a really interesting sight, seeing how the friends you see on regular basis turn into superstars under the great powers of the great stylist noonas. As usual, today is a very busy day for everyone, only some are able to still joke around. Most are too stressed out to do their best or busy with last minute practices. And some are just tired over too much practice and lack of food intake, since nobody want to feel fat or heavy while dancing on stage.

I've been tasked as the main vocalist for my team, even though I'm placed in rap class for my major. I guess somehow I did well enough when we all tried out on the main vocal parts. Chan Yul hyung helped me a lot during our vocal practice for the song, and gave many good suggestions when I struggled with some parts. He helped Joong Ji hyung too. Come to think of it, it's strange that I ended up the main vocalist, instead of Chan Yul hyung.

"Yah, stay still."

"Oh, I'm sorry, noona."

The stylist noona continued applying eyeliner around my eyes entirely. It was a little uncomfortable to be putting such thick makeups, but I guess this is to match our concept. Of course the stylist noonas know best.

"That friend of yours though, weird kid. He said his concept is bareface and refused any makeups."

"Huh?"

Who could that be? I never heard of this concept in our discussions. Or was the noona mistaken with another team?

"You're doing EXO's Monster, right?"

"Yes."

Then...if it's really our team...could it be....

"He even went as far as saying makeups are for the cowards. What a weirdo rude kid. Does he think he's Jung Woo Sung or Won Bin or Gong Yoo or what? Even EXO needs heavy makeups, and he's acting like some bigshot  visual.  Hu