(Hi! please keep in mind that the timeframe here is jumping against each other, sometimes it’s in the present, sometimes in the past, if you’re reading this, thank you!!!!)

Seunghyun had never suspected at first, Jiyong was always a kind and a caring lover, they fit each other well just like that. But then this new album deadline kept coming closer to the point that Jiyong rarely went home, if he asked he’d just shrugged it off saying that he need to run errands and his music was getting nowhere. Somedays he also chilled with Jiyong in the studio, sometimes he also wrote and he had some demo recorded already, he just haven’t got the time to show Jiyong and the rest of BIGBANG yet due to their individual schedules and his recent movie project in Germany. Until one day he came home after a wrap up dinner of his movie and he walked to a drunken Jiyong, sleeping his off at the floor, with a faint smell of and victoria’s secret sweet mist all over his coat (he’d thank his noona for that) that he realised that Jiyong was playing him dirty. 

Seunghyun ignored it though, ignored the fact that Jiyong had grew apart from him and the thought of him cheating was so hard for him to comprehend. He thought that maybe if he put a one blind eye on Jiyong, it would go away, and they’ll be close and okay again. It was October 2014, twenty days before his 30th birthday and he saw pictures of them, of his long-lifetime lover with his mistress being pictured by local media. He never was a fan of social media and the internet made him dizzy but then he stumbled over said thread. G-Dragon and Model Kiko Mizuhara spotted on a Seoul date.

His world crumbled apart from that. He tried to be brave and to stop his aching heart from wailing and when he saw that pic of Jiyong leaning on the balcony’s rail and caressed his mistress’s face the way Seunghyun does for Jiyong when he was wary and sad, he’s gone. Rather than angry, he was more disappointed, and sad. He still can’t conjured why Jiyong could do this? And why can’t after all these years it seems that everyone know about this except him?

Jiyong came home that night, days after ignoring everything. Seunghyun was sitting on their joint home’s kitchen bar, sipping his 1987 Pinot Noir that he once bought during his fashion week trip in Paris that he’d save for their yearly wine date anniversary later this year, cos he realised that there’ll be no anniversary anymore. 

“Why didn’t you tell me?”

“I love her. But Seunghyun, you’re the love of my life.”

“What do you want me to do now? I guess we should split everything and go our separate ways now?”

“No! Don’t put words in my mouth. That’s not what I wanted, I always wanted to live with you.”

“Well forgive me for thinking wrongly cos you made it clear by dating someone else behind me yeah?”

Then he saw that Jiyong was crying and he had not been able to lift his eyes to see Seunghyun’s face because hell Seunghyun also felt like crying too.

“What was I too you, Jiyong? Am I just your toy that you played and stayed with when you were down or when you need life support?”

“I love you, Seunghyun you know that? But then I saw her, she was brilliant, witty, charming, she was beautiful.  And then after awhile I got carried away? You know how I always wanted marriage and kids? When I was with her, I got this strong urge to stay with her because of that. Because we can’t never do that, can we? But at the end of the day when I came home, I realised that I - I love her but my love for her wasn’t that great that I still wanted to be with you. You’re the only one, it doesn’t matter about marriage and life after this. I wanted to be with you regardless.”

Seunghyun didn’t say anything after that. He just kept staring at Jiyong as if he still can’t understand how all of this could happen? How did their love wasn’t strong enough to protect each other? How did their love wasn’t strong enough that Jiyong seek other’s to fill him in? He never heard anything from Seunghyun, so he plucked up the courage to walk to Seunghyun’s side and engulfed him from behind the dining chair, he faintly murmured “I’m so sorry, I don’t deserve you.” 

Jiyong was thinking that was it, the end of everything - his career, of BIGBANG, the end of his relationship with Kiko, and most importantly the end of his greatest love affair. He just blew everything up not only he hurts the ones he loves, but he managed to hurts the one important person who was always be by his side since they were just unknown faces back then in school splitting silly rap during their lunch time. Not only he’d lose a lover, he always lose his best friend and there’s nothing tier than that. 

But when he felt Seunghyun leaned his head back to Jiyong and he clasped their fingers together, Jiyong knew that they're stronger than his affair, that they're stronger than whatever life would threw them at, that he knew that he'd forgiven.

*

Jiyong remembers those time when he got so low and found that Seunghyun was there. Strangely, Seunghyun was always there, during Jiyong’s low and also when Jiyong accepted his bunch of MAMA awards. He felt Seunghyun’s strong arms around his back, a strong gesture, as if to say “I’m proud of you, go claim your awards.” Jiyong also remember his bad bad breakdown after the drug scandal - he didn’t know that he could get any lower than that. Everyone used to love and praise him, g-dragon the king of kpop and fashion, and suddenly he smoke that ty thing and everyone turned his back towards him, at least Seunghyun and the rest of the band didn’t. He remembers Seungri was crying for half an hour, and Youngbae was really mad that they stopped talking for awhile, he remembers Daesung’s strong arms around him and he also remembers the one moment when he got home and Seunghyun was already waiting for him - he couldn’t look up to Seunghyun’s eyes, just like now. Shame.

“Seunghyun, I don’t have much left.”

“Please look at me, Jiyong.”

“Do you want to live or not? Because if you want to die, then there’s nothing I could do about it.”

“I want to live, but I want to live with you.”

And despite everything that happened with them, Seunghyun stays. Seunghyun was there, Seunghyun helped and protected Jiyong. If it wasn’t because of Seunghyun’s support, Jiyong was probably - long gone.

I was there.

I followed you.

I tried to help and protect you. 

I protected you from everything. 

Probably too much.

*

Note :

*p.s : Yves and Berge did split romantically at 1976 and here in this timeline, but our couple Jiyong and Seunghyun remained strong till death finally tore em apart.

*p.p.s : The “lifetime” at the end of Seunghyun’s note for Jiyong was refer to Kiersten White's quote, which I happened to made an edit about it here http://kimchimacchiato.tumblr.com/post/160906942564/25-lives-of-jiyong-seunghyun-and-id-choose (shameless tumblr promotion lol)

*p.p.p.s : “But I also know that I will never forget what I owe you and that one day I will join you under the Moroccan palms” - this was what Berge actually said during Yves’s funeral service. “I was there, I followed you..” was quoted from the YSL 2014 movie, spoken by Berge himself.

*p.p.p.p.s : So this is the second part for this series, guess it’ll end in the next chap (warning : character death). tell me what you think?