"She's dating?" Henry asked incredulously. 

"That's what I heard from Ailee," Eric said, shrugging.

"Who?" 

"No idea. Apparently, she's being really secretive about it." 

Henry clenched his fists, glad that Kris was gone, cause that would've been his first thought considering how close the two of them had been. Now he had no idea who it could be and was at least saved the mental image of imagining them side by side. 

"Are you sure she wasn't talking about someone else?" 

Eric rolled his eyes and walked away from his suddenly neurotic friend. 

Henry was left mentally scrolling through all the male friends he'd seen Amber hanging out with over the years and more often recently. There were two who came to mind, but one was dating another of Amber's friends, and he simply couldn't imagine her with the other one. 

No matter who it was, he couldn't help feeling betrayed. When she'd said if they chose to date it would have to be all or nothing and that she had to be older and ready, he'd kind of figured she wouldn't date anyone until she was ready to date him. He only had himself to blame for that assumption. She often talked about being lonely, and he knew she wanted kids someday. Maybe when they'd talked about dating over a year ago, she'd just been trying to let him down gently that she didn't really want to date him. 

"What's with that look on your face?" 

Henry scrubbed his forehead. "I think I just need to get out of the country for a while, visit some friends, maybe England, I don't know. I've been working a lot." 

"And you don't want to bump into Amber and whoever her boyfriend is?" 

A pained look crossed Henry's face and Eric felt a bit bad about teasing him. He loved both Henry and Amber like they were his siblings and kind of hoped they would get together, but kind of hoped they wouldn't at the same time. Henry was nice, but could he really trust Henry with Amber, she was a lot more fragile than she let on. And she was so nice, almost to a fault. She'd been used for her kindness before but didn't let it stop her from being open-hearted. He was afraid Henry was a little too careless for her, no matter his general kindness. 

"Why has she stopped telling me things?" Henry said sadly. "When she first came here, I was one of the people she told everything to, then she got more and more friends and we had less and less time for each other. I would at least think she would tell me if she were seeing someone, you know, considering..."

"Considering you two considered dating?" 

Henry nodded. 

"Just give it some time, man," Eric said, hating seeing his friend so down. "Maybe it'll last with this guy, maybe it won't."

"I hope it doesn't," Henry grumbled.

Eric slapped him on the back of the head. "Don't be selfish. I know you don't want Amber to have a broken heart." 

Henry scowled. It was true, but he still didn't want her to be dating someone else. "I'm gonna go for a walk. I don't like you very much right now." 

Amber laid on her bed, staring up at the ceiling, thinking about her short, three-month-long relationship. It had disappeared in the blink of an eye, most of the time spent trying to find time to spend together, the other half, missing each other's calls or there being hours between each text due to their different schedules. 

It didn't seem like so much work when trying to find time to meet up with friends, but trying to find somewhere to cuddle or hold hands or kiss outside of their apartments had just gotten to be too much work. After having her secretive fling, she knew that she wanted a relationship she could show off without worry, though she had no idea how she would get that. She would have to worry about fans abandoning her when she announced she was dating, or random people scolding her if she ever broke up, feeling pressured to stay in a relationship because of people being used to them being together etc. 

"What are you thinking about?" Krystal asked, brushing Amber's hair off of her forehead. 

Amber sighed. She hadn't seen Krystal in a while, but she'd returned to Korea the other day and they'd been catching up with one another. "How futile relationships seem right now. How are things with Jongin? Have you two decided to date yet?" 

"We're almost there," Krystal said with a shrug, snuggling up to Amber's side. "We're both just so busy that we're trying to figure out if it's worth it first." 

"Yeah..." 

"What?" 

"Do you think that it would be worth it, if you really loved someone, or if it would just be that much more frustrating?" 

Krystal shoved herself up so she could look down at Amber. "Probably more frustrating, honestly. If you don't like someone much, you don't care if you can't be close to them all the time." She rubbed Amber's nose. "That's how I feel about you." 

Amber laughed, feeling her mood lighten a little, then dim. "I'm gonna miss this when we each get into relationships." 

Krystal lowered her lashes and nodded. "Me too." She couldn't really explain what they had. It was something more than friendship, but less than a relationship. They'd never really done more than make out a few times over the years, and that was mostly for fun, or practice, or to feel physically close to someone when the loneliness of travel and being away from family got a bit too much. They were the person each could tell everything to. 

"Have you ever..." Krystal trailed off and shook her head. 

"What?" 

"Nothing." 

"No, come on, say it," Amber insisted. Krystal's words were a welcome distraction from her thoughts. 

"Have you ever wanted to do more?" 

"More?" 

"With me?" 

Amber stared at Krystal for a full minute. "What?" 

"Cause sometimes I want to do more...with you..." 

Amber sat up, jostling Krystal out of her position at her side. "What are you talking about?" 

Krystal's face went red, her eyes shiny. "I don't know if I'm..." She lowered her head. "I think I'm attracted to you. It's why I can't say 'yes' to Jong In. Not yet. Not until I know for sure that what I'm thinking about you, about us, isn't real." 

Amber's mind swirled. She'd been sure they were both just kind of playing along. She never suspected Krystal might actually be going through something. 

"Krys..." 

"My heart races when you kiss me. I get jealous when you talk about Henry, or Kris, or all those other guys you're always talking about."

Amber ran her hands through her short blond hair, trying to pull her thoughts together, but everything was scattered. She never thought her friendship with Krystal was something she would have to worry about in this whole mess of things. 

"You don't feel any of that?" 

Amber hated to say so, but she couldn't lie to Krystal in this situation. It would just hurt her more later. "No. I'm sorry," she admitted. "I feel comforted, and loved, and happy...but my heart doesn't race. I should've stopped this a long time ago," Amber lamented. 

Krystal shook her head. "No, I should have. I'm the one who's confused. Maybe it's just a crush since you're such an easy person to love." She cupped Amber's face in her hand. 

"Do you feel this way about other girls?" Amber asked carefully. 

The younger girl bit her lip and nodded. "Just not as strongly as for you, since I know you, and we've-" 

Amber nodded. "Yeah..."

"I'm sorry." 

"Don't be. You can't help what you feel." 

"And you don't?" 

Amber shook her head. "Sorry." 

"Don't be," Krystal repeated with a slight smile. "You can't help what you feel." 

She glanced around Amber's room. "So...now do we have to be awkward around each other, or can I cuddle back up to you? It's kinda chilly in here." 

Amber laughed and leaned back, spreading out her arm for her friend. "Guess you were trying to secretly get into my pants all these years." 

"Guess so," Krystal said, feeling good that her feelings were out in the air, not so great that they weren't returned, but glad that Amber wasn't making her feel bad about it. 

"I'm just too irresistible for my own good." 

"This was a mistake," Krystal groaned. 

Amber fell silent and Krystal's hair for a while, looking over at her pinboard where she kept most of her favorite memories captured in photos, news articles, and little merchandise her fans gave her. "I don't think I liked him as much as I thought I did. I'm glad I don't have to work to see him anymore. That's all it felt like. Work to see him, exhaustion when we finally met." 

"How does it feel when you meet Henry?"

Amber chewed her lip. 

"Effortless? A relief from the day? Fun? Worth it?" 

"Y...yeah, kinda of a mix of all of those." 

Krystal hugged her close. "One day you two will be ready for each other, but don't make it too soon, okay? I promise I smell much better than he does at this time of night."