Jongdae looks over his shoulder and sighs.

Minseok isn’t what he was when they met in college 6 years ago. He’s still very handsome but he’s no longer what Jongdae desires. Jongdae turns back around and continues his crossword.

When they met in college Minseok had been the mysterious friend in Jongdae’s group. Minseok had been silent and kept to himself and that had only drawn Jongdae closer. It had been a game between them and Jongdae had enjoyed it. Minseok had been everything he wanted and more – but he isn’t anymore.

It’s not that Minseok is a bad boyfriend in any way. He provides for them and complains little. Jongdae, on the other hand, complains a lot and it bothers him that the only answer he usually receives is an agreeing hum. He can’t find it in himself to break up with the older man, however. Jongdae is way too dependent on Minseok and he keeps believing there are ways to fix it, ways to talk it out and ways to start over again.

Except every night he lies awake while Minseok sleeps next to him and hopes he’ll soon be able to leave because he can’t talk to Minseok. They’ve grown apart and the longer it takes him to remove the bandaid and break up, the more will it hurt.

He lets his eyes rake over the paper before he returns to the crossword.

In an apartment in Jongam-dong is Jongin waking up from his afternoon nap when his phone starts ringing. He fumbles with his glasses and finally finds it, only to get disappointed when he hears his boyfriend on the other end. A surge of guilt follows the disappointment.

“Hey,” he says into the phone and tunes out while Kyungsoo tells him about his colleagues.

It’s not that Jongin doesn’t care but Kyungsoo says the same thing every time he’s overseas and Jongin knows he won’t be missing what he wants to hear the most. Because no matter how often Kyungsoo is away, he never tells him that he misses him. Jongin doesn’t really doubt Kyungsoo’s love for him but it’s overshadowed by feelings of loneliness.

They haven’t spoken in a long time. Jongin finds it hard to tell Kyungsoo that he feels lonely because Kyungsoo won’t understand. Kyungsoo doesn’t have a large group of friends but they’re close and he never needed verbal affection.

Jongin needs verbal affection more than anyone he has ever known. He needs to be told that he’s loved and appreciated and every time he tells Kyungsoo this the other man tilts his head in a question and asks why. And Kyungsoo won’t ever understand and Jongin doesn’t want to annoy him by requesting things that falls so unnatural to him. Kyungsoo hangs up after an ‘I’m running late, see you later’ and Jongin stares at the phone in his hand.

Jongin appreciates Kyungsoo. He loves him. But the more they’re together, the more do they seem distanced and Jongin doesn’t know what to do to get closer to Kyungsoo again.

He puts the phone down, forgets his unhappiness and turns on the TV.

“Chanyeol for crying out loud,” Baekhyun says and turns around on his heels so he can glare at the taller man. “How long is it going to take?”

He hears noises from the bathroom and sighs frustrated. It’s always like this whenever they’re on their way somewhere and Baekhyun is getting impatient. It had been a charming thing when they met but the way Chanyeol takes his time with everything is starting to bother Baekhyun now.

They’re always running late because of Chanyeol and Baekhyun hates when he has all eyes on him in a negative light.

And right now, they’re on their way to a baby naming ceremony and they're late.

“I can’t tie my tie,” Chanyeol says and Baekhyun groans out loud. He doesn’t care that Chanyeol hears it because he’s frustrated.

“Then leave the damn tie,” he says and walks through their apartment so he can burst into the bathroom and remove the tie violently from around Chanyeol’s neck and slam it onto the counter. “I don’t ing care, come on!”

Baekhyun has to tell Chanyeol to speed and they barely make it to the church, everybody looking at them when they enter seconds before the doors are shut behind them. Baekhyun does his best to ignore his boyfriend and calm his anger throughout the ceremony and he succeeds – until Chanyeol takes forever with getting to the reception afterwards.

Baekhyun isn’t a man with a lot of patience but he has been waiting for Chanyeol for years. When he fell in love with Chanyeol 5 years ago he had sworn that he would wait forever but forever is a long time and Baekhyun’s patience has long since run out. Chanyeol apologizes in a hushed whisper and Baekhyun accepts it but they both know it’ll be the same the next time they’re going to an event.

Deep inside Baekhyun knows that they should probably break up, that it doesn’t work out for them and that they’re hurting each other more than anything by keeping up the façade, but Baekhyun loves Chanyeol and he’s a little scared of what’s going to happen when he no longer has Chanyeol, so he swallows the frustration as good as he can and clings on with all he has.

Kyungsoo yawns as he walks through passport control. His small luggage is following along behind him as he drags it with him with little force. It’s 11.23 pm and he has the next three days off. For some reason, however, he’s not looking forward to getting home. He feels bad about it but reasons that it’s not his fault. Jongin has been passive-aggressive for the past weeks and Kyungsoo doesn’t know what more to do. Jongin never says what it is he wants.

Kyungsoo had tried taken more time off but that hadn't helped. Now he takes the long flights so he doesn’t have to worry about Jongin. It’s cowardly but it’s easier to pretend everything is fine between them on the phone.

One of the stewardesses pass him and wishes him a good weekend and Kyungsoo nods and wishes her the same.

When he leaves the airport, he goes to find the Airport Railroad Train. The train is relatively empty on a Friday late evening and it means Kyungsoo gets a seat. He leans back against the windows and closes his eyes while he lets the train transport him towards home. When he first got the job, Jongin had happily travelled back and forth to pick him up from either Incheon International Airport or Gimpo International Airport, but ever since they moved to Jongam-dong it has been a rarity.

Kyungsoo doesn’t really fault Jongin for not wanting to drive far when he has a job too, but at the same time, it hurts a little sometimes when he has been away for a few days. Kyungsoo transfers to line 6 at Gongdeok Station and sinks back into another seat.

26 minutes later he exits with his luggage and looks towards the sky. It’s cloudy and chilly and Kyungsoo sighs. It’s not going to be warmer when he comes home.

Chanyeol isn’t a stranger to the threads his and Baekhyun’s relationship is holding onto. He knows that Baekhyun is constantly on the move, his mind working without relaxing. It used to be charming, the way the other man always had a million projects on the go, but it isn’t anymore.

Chanyeol is tired. He’s tired of seeing death and injuries every day at work and his mind needs to gear down, needs to remove the images of what he’s seeing at times and it results in everything else working in slow-motion. Chanyeol knows it bothers Baekhyun but he doesn’t want to change it. He knows they should talk about it, that he should tell Baekhyun why he needs to slow down and be clumsy and forgetful and lazy but he can’t find the words to say it.

And Chanyeol loves Baekhyun, he really does. The 4 years with Baekhyun has been 4 years Chanyeol appreciates and cherishes. He’s no idiot, however, no matter how many times Baekhyun tells him he is, and he knows that maybe it would be better to break up. Breaking up is scary, though, and so he decides to carry on, ignore their problems. At least until he can find the words to explain to Baekhyun.

Minseok loves Jongdae. He sees their differences as a way to grow and he enjoys Jongdae’s rants every afternoon. He knows Jongdae well enough to know that the other man is annoyed when he doesn’t say much, but Minseok doesn’t know what to say. He tries to come up with things for Jongdae, he tried even harder when they started dating, but by now he has grown comfortable in their routine and he prefers it this way.

He loves it when he knows what’s going to happen. He loves that he’s home at 5 pm every day and can start cooking for when Jongdae returns from his shift at the hospital at 5.30 pm. He loves that they eat together, sometimes in comfortable silence, other times with Jongdae ranting about colleagues. There’s a certain satisfaction that comes with knowing what happens next and Minseok appreciates the predictability.

He climbs out of the covers and looks back at his sleeping boyfriend. Jongdae has never been a morning person, not like Minseok. Minseok appreciates the sunrise more than the sunset. He slips on his slippers and walks towards the bathroom so he can shower. The hot water warms up his cold body and he closes his eyes under the stream of water, lets it wash away his thoughts and doubts.

When he steps out of the shower, he hears Jongdae’s alarm and Jongdae cursing. Minseok sends his reflection a smile and then the door opens and a dishevelled Jongdae appears.

The pager in his pockets beeps in quick succession and he groans internally. It’s not that Jongdae usually minds getting called but he’s in the middle of his lunch and this beeping means incoming trauma. It’s rare that he even gets these calls because he’s a dentist and he is never really required to be there. The message on the pager readers major head injury, however, and that means that he has to be there to look at the jaw and the teeth should anything require emergency surgery. His colleagues send him a smile when he gets up from his seat and leaves the coffee room to go down to the E.R.

The trauma team takes over first when the patient arrives and when the paramedics are done with their job they leave. Jongdae tilts his head when he notices the tall man in the paramedic uniform talk to the head nurse. Then he turns his head towards the patient and immediately knows that he has a lot to do. If all the blood on his face indicates anything, Jongdae is pretty sure he requires surgery and possibly a lot of it.

“I understand,” Baekhyun says and scribbles the request into his note book. “Yes. Absolutely, it’s not going to be any problem. What day would fit you?” he asks and then finds his calendar. The 25^th is circled with red. It’s their 5^th anniversary. Baekhyun tunes back to the customer on the phone and listens to their schedule.

When she suggests the 25^th Baekhyun takes a look at his calendar before he confirms. He writes the appointment down and hopes that Chanyeol will forgive him. They never do anything on their anniversary anyway, it’s impossible that Chanyeol has planned anything this year. In fact, it would probably be a miracle if he hasn’t forgotten. Baekhyun doesn’t think it hurts anyone. He hangs up on the phone after he has confirmed a few of her requests.

It’s the first meeting they will have but this is a woman with plans and Baekhyun is going to meet all of them and make her wedding exactly what she wants it to be and more.

This is what Baekhyun does. He plans weddings and other events and makes sure they are dreamlike. He makes them whatever his clients want them to be and Baekhyun is the best in town. It has taken years for him to get where he is now but now that he is finally on top of the game, only competing with a few others, he is not going to suddenly lose clients because he can’t meet up with them.

He turns to his computer and starts writing down in more detail what has been said in the phone because there is no way he is going to be able to read his own notes in a day or two.

Jongin sighs and rolls his shoulders. The weekend has been absolutely horrible. The minute Kyungsoo stepped inside the apartment, Jongin longed for him to leave again. It’s easier when he isn’t there. Somehow the loneliness is justified when Kyungsoo is in another continent, but the loneliness doesn’t disappear just because Kyungsoo is home and it makes it a lot harder to deal with. Jongin turns back to his computer screen.

If only he could talk to someone about it. He doesn’t want to talk to Kyungsoo but Jongin has also been unable to tell his sister and it bothers him a little that it has become such a secret. It shouldn’t be. Jongin isn’t a horrible person for feeling the way he does. Yes, he feels guilty whenever he sees Kyungsoo and knows that he doesn’t love the other man anymore but it doesn’t make him a bad man and he knows that his sister would understand. Still he’s unable to tell her that things aren’t going as smooth as he wants them.

He blinks a little to focus back on his job. Jongin has a habit of day dreaming at times and his boss isn’t particularly satisfied with this. It’s not that Jongin is bad at what he does, he isn’t. Working with software hadn’t been Jongin’s first dream when he was a child but he’s happy with where he is. The company is large enough to not suffer much financially but small enough that the employees know each other and it’s the perfect place for Jongin.

His phone weighs in his hand as he stares at the last conversation he had with Jongdae. It’s from two days ago and it’s a simple request of picking up some milk on his way home. They don’t talk a lot these days and while Minseok doesn’t mind the lack of conversation, it does worry him a little.

He pockets his phone again without telling Jongdae that he has gotten a job interview. He can tell him over dinner. Minseok isn’t disliked at his work place, but the stress is getting to him and he wants to work somewhere smaller. He can’t quit, however, because that would mean living solely on Jongdae’s income and Minseok doesn’t want to burden his boyfriend. Instead he has started looking for jobs elsewhere around Seoul.

The first time he brought up his unhappiness with his job, Jongdae had enthusiastically encouraged him to find another job. Now Minseok never hears Jongdae’s opinions on anything. He sighs a little and continues down the street, styrofoam-cup of coffee in hand.

“What?” Chanyeol asks. Baekhyun doesn't look up from his calendar.

“Do you mind?” he asks but doesn’t sound very concerned with Chanyeol’s opinion.

“I …” Chanyeol looks at Baekhyun for a few seconds while he decides whether or not he minds. “Yes, I mind.”

Only then does Baekhyun look up from his calendar. He raises an eyebrow.

“Really?” he asks and Chanyeol sighs a little.

“Nevermind,” Chanyeol says and watches as Baekhyun shrugs and returns to his calendar. They should be talking about this but Chanyeol is too exhausted. Instead he turns around and wanders into the bedroom.

Kyungsoo turns to look at Jongin.

“I’ll be back tomorrow. It’s just a quick flight to Beijing,” he says. Kyungsoo doesn’t really know what he expects but it isn’t Jongin turning around with a raised eyebrow.

“I’ll be at Taemin’s tomorrow,” he says. “I promised to babysit the little ones while he and Gwiboon go on a date to celebrate their 5th anniversary.”

Kyungsoo looks at Jongin and nods a little. He guesses it would have been too much if he had expected Jongin to wait for him at home.

“I’ll call you when I arrive,” Kyungsoo says instead and Jongin just shrugs. Kyungsoo doesn’t want to feel annoyed but he can’t help it. Jongin’s nonchalance and his passive-aggressiveness is starting to get on his nerves and even though he tries to stay calm, he can still feel how he grits his teeth. Kyungsoo turns around and leaves Jongin in the living room.

When Jongdae plops down on his seat in the canteen, he notices the tall paramedic that had been there the day he had gotten the trauma call. For reasons Jongdae doesn’t know he gets up from his seat and walks towards the other man.

“Can I sit?” he asks and obviously pulls the man from his thoughts. The other man sends him a wide smile and nods a little.

“Yes,” he says and gestures towards the other chairs. There isn’t anyone around them, people sitting with colleagues at other tables. Jongdae constantly tries to figure out why he has moved to sit opposite of this stranger, but he comes up short. The only logical reason he finds is that he just wants to get to know new people, that he just wants new friends.

Jongdae doesn’t get out much, not after they moved to Hagye-dong. His friends are busy with their own lives and most of them have moved further away after they got children. Some of his childhood friends still live in Daejeon and it’s too far for a casual meet-up. Minseok’s friends are boring and Jongdae never really hit it off with them. Jongdae wishes he could fault their move on Minseok, but truth is that they moved to get closer to Jongdae’s work place.

He bites into his sandwich before he sighs audibly in front of the stranger.

“I’m Chanyeol,” the man opposite of Jongdae says after 5 minutes of silence where they have been eating. Jongdae looks up, chews his food and sends Chanyeol a smile.

“Jongdae,” he introduces as well. 

Baekhyun knows the look in Chanyeol’s eyes when he gets dressed Saturday morning. He doesn’t say anything as he grabs his bag and slams the door behind him. The sun is shining from a blue sky but Baekhyun isn’t in the mood to good weather. Honestly, it would have been much better if it had been raining. He shakes his head a little and tries to forget Chanyeol as he walks towards his appointment.

He stands up from his seat when the woman enters. Baekhyun has prepared a pot of tea and he gestures towards it while he tells her she can take a cup if she wants.

She has big dreams. Baekhyun can see the details before him until he asks her about a budget and it's much lower than her dreams would ever cost.

It takes a lot to discuss the reasonable wedding she can get for her budget and he needs to cross a few things off his list. There’s no way she can afford a menu including oysters and caviar. She isn’t happy with this knowledge, however and it takes a lot of sugar coating and sweet-talking to get her to calm down. In the end, however, she believes in his ability to make it perfect despite the low budget.

Baekhyun manages his temples. The incoming headache is not going to be better when he gets home and has to deal with Chanyeol.

Minseok should have seen it coming. Really, the signs had been there. Their lacking interest, the short conversation, the unimpressed boss. He sighs a little as he stops in the middle of the street. His suit looks flawless and people stare at him like he stands out amongst the other business people in the district. He runs a hand through his hair.

Minseok wants to scream. It had been the perfect opportunity but there is nothing he can do about it now. He sends a text to Jongdae but the only thing he receives is a Read 12.05 PM.

Chanyeol stares at the two candles. The expensive red table cloth is on the table; the food on the plates is untouched. Chanyeol knows he shouldn’t have made a big deal out of it. It’s only their 5^th year anniversary, not their wedding day. Still he feels exhausted that he’s here alone on a day that should be significant to both of them. He doesn’t know when Baekhyun’s meeting ended and where he is and he hasn’t bothered to text or call him. He’s staring at the wax making its way down the two candles, two orange spots flashing before his vision every time he pulls it away from the candles.

When the front door opens, Chanyeol removes his gaze from the fire and blinks a couple of times to remove the orange spots. Baekhyun enters the kitchen with a yawn and then stops.

“What?” he asks and Chanyeol smiles a bitter smile.

“I’m celebrating my 5^th anniversary with my boyfriend. Oh right, he’s not here. Because he doesn’t care.”

Baekhyun tilts his head and raises an eyebrow.

“Really Chanyeol?” Baekhyun asks and Chanyeol leans back in his chair and crosses his arms. “You know how important my job is to me. No, wait, it’s not like you would understand what it means to work hard for something.”

Chanyeol blinks, taken aback at the venom in Baekhyun’s words.

“What’s that supposed to mean? You think I became a paramedic in my sleep?” Chanyeol asks. Baekhyun doesn’t say anything. “You have got to be kidding me.”

When Chanyeol gets up from the chair he has been sitting on, he towers over Baekhyun. Baekhyun doesn’t step back, however, too used to Chanyeol’s height.

“So you’re leaving, huh? What a way to deal with like this.”

Chanyeol whips around and glares at Baekhyun.

“Are you for real right now? You were the one who thought your job was more important than us, you were the one that ditched me even though I said I minded and right now you’re the one accusing me of running away?”

“You are running away! You’re always running away. Unless we actually have to be somewhere because then you’re so ridiculously slow that I have to drag you out to get anywhere on ing time.”

“This isn’t about me being slow,” Chanyeol tries but Baekhyun shakes his finger a little in disagreement.

“No. This is about you being slow. This is about you expecting everything even though you always run away from confrontations and conversations.”

“You never talk to me either! The only thing you ever say you say to ing hurt me. I’m sick and tired of always having to be your puppy! Do you even love me?”

Baekhyun stops a little before he answers.

“No.”

Chanyeol looks at him and feels his heart crack in two. He knew. Somewhere deep inside he has known for months where they were going. Chanyeol has known for months that they were heading towards a break-up but hearing it said out loud hurts so incredibly much.

“I want you to leave,” he says. He swallows the lump in his throat. “I don’t want to see you again. We’re done.”

Baekhyun blinks a few times.

“Coward!” he says before he turns on his heels and heads into the bedroom so he can pack his things. Chanyeol flops down on the chair again and buries his head in his hands while he realizes that this is real. The candle wax is dripping onto the cloth now. When Chanyeol hears footsteps he looks up from his hands.

“Baekhyun,” he shouts and Baekhyun stops in front of the kitchen.

“If you take back your words, then I will be the one to say them. We’re done Chanyeol. I break up. I’ll come get my things soon.”

With those words, he leaves the apartment and Chanyeol buries his head in his hands once again.

Jongin looks at Hyein who clings to her mother. Gwiboon is looking at him with pity.

“Jongin,” she says as she rocks back and forth in the rocking chair while she feeds Jungwoo. Jongin ignores her and calls towards Hyein again but the girl only tries to climb onto Gwiboon’s lap. Taemin joins them in the living room and grabs the 3-year-old girl before she can get her feet caught under the rocking chair. She giggles a little before she notices Jongin and hides in Taemin’s shoulder.

“You should go home,” Taemin says as he plops onto the couch next to Jongin. “I bet Kyungsoo is missing you.”

Jongin scoffs and both Taemin and Gwiboon raise an eyebrow.

“No, he doesn’t,” Jongin mumbles. That’s the last thing Kyungsoo does. Jongin hasn’t told Taemin that his and Kyungsoo’s relationship is not ideal anymore, however. He had wanted to tell him but then Gwiboon had gotten pregnant with Jungwoo and Jongin hadn’t wanted to impose on the family happiness. The longer he had left it unsaid, the harder it had become to actually say it out loud.

“What?” Taemin asks. “Is everything okay?”

Hyein moves in his lap and turns around to look at Jongin. She starts talking to Taemin but he only briefly looks at her before he gets eye contact with Jongin.

“Dad,” Hyein says and Taemin sighs a little.

“Not now princess.”

She pouts and cuddles into his chest to gain his attention but it doesn’t work. Jongin wishes Taemin would be more focused on this daughter than he is on him. That isn’t going to happen, however, because whenever Taemin has an inkling something is wrong, he’ll go to the world’s end to figure out what it is. Jongin doesn’t understand why Gwiboon married him.

“It’s … nothing. We’re fine.”

The lie is obvious and Jongin fools no one.

“Princess?” Gwiboon suddenly says and gains Hyein’s attention. Jungwoo is done nursing. “Do you want to help mommy fix lunch?”

Hyein nods and climbs from Taemin’s lap. Gwiboon hands Taemin Jungwoo instead and the 4-months-old baby burps and then falls asleep in his arms.

“Jongin, what’s wrong?”

Jongin sighs.

“It’s … I feel lonely,” he finally admits. “We’re just not compatible, I guess. But I love him, I really do.”

“Why do you say you’re not compatible?”

“He never tells me he loves me.”

It sounds so pathetic. Jongin really shouldn’t complain about his relationship with Kyungsoo but he feels so lonely, so distanced. It doesn’t feel like they’re boyfriends and Jongin is sinking further and further into the loneliness. He wishes he could just stop demanding the verbal affection from Kyungsoo. If he could then everything would fix itself. But life isn’t like that.

“Did you tell him?” Taemin asks and Jongin nods.

“It doesn’t come naturally to him and I guess I got tired of constantly complaining because he doesn’t tell me he loves me or misses me. I don’t know Taem, I wish it was easy but … I don’t know what to do anymore.”

“You should break up if you’re falling out of love, Jongin. It’s not fair to either of you to stay in a relationship that doesn’t work out. You’re not making things easier by staying.”

Jongin nods a little. Still he doesn’t want to fully admit to himself that Taemin is right. He’d rather believe it can be fixed, that time will heal the wounds – even if logic tells him that there is only one right decision.

“Dr. Kim,” the nurse says and Jongdae looks up from his patient to turn around and look at her.

“What is it?” he asks and she bows a little as an apology for interrupting his session.

“Mr. Kim is here to see you.”

Jongdae bites his lower lip and closes his eyes while he counts to 10 so he doesn’t get angry.

“Tell him I’ll be there when I can,” he says and opens his eyes to watch her nod and close the door. Then he turns back to the patient in the chair. The woman looks at him curiously. Jongdae counts to 10 again, just to be sure that his annoyance has dimmed enough to not affect his communication with the patient.

Minseok is not supposed to be here. Jongdae has asked multiple times that he doesn’t show up at the hospital. The nurses think it’s a sweet gesture and that Minseok is oh-so-romantic but Jongdae finds it annoying. He wants his work-place to be free of dating and romantic affection. He’s a professional and he wants to spend his breaks with his co-workers, not his boyfriend. There is a clear line in Jongdae’s mind and Minseok is overstepping constantly, even when he has been told not to.

So Jongdae does what he does best; he prolongs the time before he has to talk to Minseok. It makes him strangely satisfied to see Minseok waiting for him.

When he can’t stall their meeting any more he goes to fetch Minseok, only to be handed a piece of paper and get a kiss on his cheek. Minseok leaves him with a smile and Jongdae looks down at the paper. He sighs and pockets the paper as he reads the time and the restaurant on it. Then he returns to his office and tries to forget the dinner invitation that lies heavy in the pocket of his doctor’s coat.

Kyungsoo shouldn’t be upset with the lack of Jongin in the past two days. He knows that it’s on time they end it, that the act can’t keep going. He just doesn’t want to hurt Jongin. It should be logical that hurting is inevitable but Kyungsoo feels bad because he knows that he will feel more relief than he’ll feel hurt and it’s all wrong. He should be heartbroken to let his boyfriend of 4 years go but he isn’t.

“An Americano to go,” he says to the barista behind the counter when it’s finally his turn and as he steps aside he starts thinking about him and Jongin again. Maybe time caught up to them, maybe they were just not as strong as he first thought they were. Maybe they were not meant to be.

He’s handed the cup of coffee and goes to find a table before he has to board. He’s there early, way earlier than he’s supposed to be, but staying in the apartment without Jongin had been a dreadful reminder of what was no longer. There is still an hour until he has to start working and Kyungsoo fully intends on using it people watching in the airport.

A large family in a hurry captures his attention and he watches the parents usher their children towards the terminal. He guesses they’re going on vacation if their clothes say anything. They’re probably going to Europe. A lone businessman in suit rushes past in the other direction. He’s definitely on a flight to Busan. He’s probably going home. Kyungsoo smiles a little. Then he tilts his head as he observes a young man with his hair dyed red. He’s tapping his feet to an invisible beat like he’s in a hurry but when he turns around to look for a place to sit, he seems oddly relaxed. The man sits a couple of seats away from Kyungsoo but Kyungsoo can’t tear his eyes from the other man.

Baekhyun takes a deep breath and looks around to find a seat. He’s still annoyed with Chanyeol and how everything has played out. He didn’t want to break up like that, but he’s also too angry to fix it. It’s over between them. It had been unfair of Chanyeol to act like he had.

Baekhyun has been sleeping at Taeyeon and Jiyong’s. Taeyeon is highly pregnant but the minute he had told her what had happened between him and Chanyeol she had insisted that he stayed with them. Baekhyun still needs to tell his parents that they have broken up but he isn’t going to rush it. Right now, he has promised Taeyeon to spend some money to treat himself so that is what he’s going to do.

Baekhyun has planned a flight to Sapporo and he’s going to spend the weekend relaxing in onsens and eating great food. He should probably feel bad due to the break up but Baekhyun is looking forward to forgetting Chanyeol. The anger he had left with is still simmering within him and he just wants to forget it all before he has to go back and stand face to face with Chanyeol once again. Then he catches sight of a man in uniform, sipping a cup of coffee and Baekhyun places himself in a chair so he can take looks at the other man. That is wrong, so wrong, but it helps Baekhyun forget.

“I can’t believe he did that,” Chanyeol mumbles and plops down in front of the dentist. Jongdae looks up from his lunch and raises an eyebrow at the sight of the tall paramedic.

“Who did what?” he asks and Chanyeol only then realizes that he’s not alone at the table.

“Oh, uh, it’s nothing,” Chanyeol says and waves his hand a little. He starts eating but he’s still annoyed. Baekhyun shouldn’t have fled the country. They could have worked it out. It was a stupid misunderstanding, a heated argument. This is ridiculous. “No, you know what? It’s not nothing.”

Jongdae tilts his head a little in question and Chanyeol just sighs.

“My boyfriend … ex-boyfriend, I guess, is just being absolutely ridiculous.”

Chanyeol smiles a little to lift the atmosphere and Jongdae nods a little. Chanyeol has a beautiful smile, but right now it looks worn down. Jongdae frowns a little. That was an unprofessional thought. He shouldn’t think like that when he’s in a relationship.

“I know that we don’t really know each other, but if you need to let it all out, I’m a great listener,” Jongdae says and Chanyeol just nods a little.

“That’s a kind offer, but no thanks. I’ll be fine.”

When Minseok hangs up, he lifts both arms in a silent celebration. He got it. He did it. This company is perfect. They’re smaller but still big enough to need an HR manager. It’s located in Northern Seoul so Minseok doesn’t even have to propose a move to Jongdae. And the best of all – the employees and bosses seem like amazing people he’ll be able to work well with. It’ll be perfect. Finally he can leave his dreaded position. Finally everything will be better.

Nevermind the fact that Jongdae stood him up yesterday at the restaurant and only arrived after 50 minutes. According to Jongdae he had forgotten the note in his doctor’s coat but Minseok knows deep down inside that it hadn’t been that. He decides to ignore it, however, because he wants to believe they can fix it. He loves Jongdae and he doesn’t want this to go to waste. Things will be better now. Definitely.

Minseok is sitting on the couch, typing away at his laptop when Jongdae enters after his .

“I have something to tell you,” Minseok says excitedly and pats the couch to invite Jongdae over. Jongdae still stands unnecessarily far away.

“I got a new job,” Minseok says at the same time Jongdae says “let’s break up.”

They look at each other.

“What?” Minseok asks.

“Let’s break up,” Jongdae repeats. The temperature in the living room suddenly feels chilly. Minseok puts the computer away on the table and turns to look fully at Jongdae.

“Why?”

He doesn’t understand. Everything was supposed to be better. Minseok just got a new job, they were going to fix this. They can’t break up.

“I don’t love you anymore Minseok.”

The words sting as they’re said and Minseok gets up from the couch, only to sink back onto it when the words sink in. Then he feels a tear trail down his cheek. Minseok doesn’t understand it. When did Jongdae stop loving him? When did their relationship become unrepairable?

His emotions are all over the place and Minseok cries. He cries into Jongdae’s shoulder when the other sits down on the couch next to him and wraps his arms around him. Minseok wants to be mad, wants to push him away but he doesn’t. The only thing he’s able to is hold Jongdae close and cry and Minseok wishes it wasn’t like that.

“We should break up,” Jongin says to his reflection in the mirror. “I’m breaking up,” he repeats. Then he shakes his head. He can’t do it. Why is breaking up with someone so difficult?

It’s for the best, Taemin’s voice echoes in his mind and Jongin frowns. What if it isn’t? What if he’s just fooling himself because he’s blinded by his own disappointment? Jongin shakes his head again and returns his gaze to his reflection.

“I think we should break up.”

Kyungsoo looks at his co-pilot. They’re over the Pacific Ocean and there has been no trouble so far. It’s 3.30 AM back in Korea and Kyungsoo is tired. He hasn’t been able to sleep well with all this distance Jongin is putting between them and even the coffee he has consumed in the airport before starting work is no longer enough.

“Would it be okay if I took a collected rest? Just 10 minutes. I’ll fly afterwards if you need me to?”

His co-pilot nods a little and Kyungsoo scoots his seat back, away from the instruments.

“Trouble back home?” he asks and Kyungsoo groans and rests his head back against the seat.

“Don’t remind me,” he says and his co-pilot chuckles a little. Kyungsoo falls asleep within minutes and is awakened 10 minutes later. The power nap helps him focus on the rest of the flight, but the thoughts of Jongin never disappears.

Baekhyun really doesn’t mean to get drunk, but he still ends up crying into Taeyeon’s pregnant belly when he arrives home from Sapporo, drunk out of his mind.

He misses Chanyeol and it’s stupid. It’s stupid because he broke it off, it was him who couldn’t fix it any more, him who couldn’t stand Chanyeol. Chanyeol and his stupid long legs and his stupid gorgeous smile. Chanyeol and his deep voice that sends shivers down Baekhyun’s spine. Chanyeol and everything he brought with him. Taeyeon sighs a little but runs her hand through Baekhyun’s hair.

“I miss him,” Baekhyun whispers and hiccups before he forces his tears away with his hands. “I should call him and apologize.”

Taeyeon gently fishes his phone out of his pocket and places it between her thigh and the couch pillow, effectively trapping it out of Baekhyun’s reach.

“No, you shouldn’t. You just miss the idea of being in a relationship,” she says and Baekhyun shakes his head against her belly.

“No. No, I definitely miss Chanyeol.”

He nods a little before he sniffles. Chanyeol who had been his dream guy, his ideal type, everything he had wished for. And then he starts crying again. How stupid he had been when he broke it off. Because of a silly argument. They could have fixed it, right? Taeyeon continues to his hair while Baekhyun cries.

“This is purely platonic,” Jongdae says and reaches over to grab the beer on the counter. Chanyeol nods beside him.

“Of course,” he says and sends Jongdae a smile. Jongdae wishes it wasn’t so contagious. “So why did you invite me out to grab a beer?”

Jongdae just sighs.

“I need advice and I have no friends in Seoul that doesn’t know my boy… ex-boyfriend.”

Chanyeol nods in understanding.

“Oh,” he says and Jongdae nods a little as well. Going to the guy he has spent lunch with a week or two is stupid. Jongdae should have talked to his friends, called Sanghyuk and asked his opinion but it had been easier to ask Chanyeol out to get a beer. It’s friendly, the atmosphere doesn’t suggest anything and Jongdae just enjoys the presence of the other man.

He doesn’t know how to feel after he broke up with Minseok. His first emotion had been relief but then Minseok had started crying and guilt had been overshadowing the relief. He still doesn’t really know how to feel. If relief is even alright to feel in a situation like this and even though he knows that Chanyeol just got out of a relationship as well, it feels nice to just say it out loud. It’s easier to sort through his feelings and thoughts when he gets to say them out loud and Chanyeol is a great listener.

They talk for hours in the small bar, one beer becoming two and two becoming four and before he knows it he’s a little tipsy. It feels liberating, however and Jongdae welcomes the feeling with open arms. And when Chanyeol laughs he knows he made a great decision when he asked Chanyeol to go with him.

Jongin finds Kyungsoo in their apartment when he finishes brushing his teeth. He has had the music on loud and hasn’t heard the front door open so when he’s suddenly face to face with the smaller man, he stops his dancing. He’s in his pyjama pants and a grey shirt and Kyungsoo is standing there in his uniform.

“We need to talk, Jongin,” Kyungsoo says and Jongin’s resolve crumbles. He doesn’t want to talk. Suddenly he’s not ready to do anything and he wants to run away and hide in their bed, put his fingers in his ears and act like Hyein instead of the 26-year-old man he is.

“Can’t it wait?” Jongin asks and Kyungsoo shakes his head. . “I was on my way to bed.”

Kyungsoo sighs and looks at Jongin and Jongin shrinks in on himself.

“Jongin,” he says and Jongin stands as nailed to the floor while Kyungsoo places himself on the couch. There’s silent in the apartment. “I don’t think we should continue.”

Jongin squeezes his eyes shut at the words. He doesn’t want to listen anymore.

“No,” he whispers. Kyungsoo continues.

“This … Us … It doesn’t work anymore. I’m unhappy. I can’t do this anymore, it’s not fair to keep you in this relationship either. It’s not you, it’s me. Let’s break up.”

“No,” Jongin whispers again with his eyes still shut. This is not true. Kyungsoo can’t break up with him, not like this. Why is it so easy for Kyungsoo to say these words? Why doesn’t he struggle with them?

When he opens his eyes Kyungsoo is still there on the couch, pity in his eyes, sadness in his smile and it’s all wrong. It’s all wrong. Jongin should have been the one to break up with Kyungsoo. Jongin is the unhappy one. What did he do to make Kyungsoo so miserable that he had to break up? Jongin turns on his heels and heads into the bedroom where he crawls under the blanket. He listens to footsteps but hears nothing. There’s silent around him and the silence is suffocating.

Jongin is the wrong person. It’s Jongin, not Kyungsoo. It’s not you, it’s me. The anger that rises in his veins slowly overtakes the confusion.

Of course, it’s Jongin. Jongin did wrong. Kyungsoo didn’t do anything. He sits up in bed and punches his blanket. Of course, Kyungsoo wanted to break up with him because Jongin has only been doing the wrong thing. Jongin is the course of this. Jongin was jealous, Jongin was unable to conform, Jongin was unable to compromise. He wants to scream and punch the wall but instead he throws the blanket to the floor and then curls in on himself and starts crying, rocking back and forth on the mattress.