I never been very vocal about my s.exual orientation and is not because I’m ashamed of it or anything, I just think that liking girls, boys or both should not define you as a person. I knew I like boys and girls since I was 10 and once I hit puberty I started to realize that I’m slightly more turn on by guys than girls, even so I only had relationships with two girls in my entire life. Is still very difficult for me to approach boys in a romantic way, I always end up being friend zoned by all my boy crushes. It could be bad luck or just lousy taste since I’m always interested in straight guys. I just really hope this time is different, since I never had so strong feelings for someone else before, not even my ex girlfriends. But I do have a feeling that Jinu hyung is straight and watching him right now giggling and blushing with Mina is kind of confirming my suspicious.

When I told my mom that I like both girls and guys she told me that she accepted and supported me not matter what, that what was more important was for me to be happy and if I ever get married it had to be for love and not any other reason. However, she did advise me to not tell anything to my father, that he wasn’t ready for it and she didn’t want to see me suffer by his rejection. I did what she told me and maybe that’s the reason why I never been obvious about it, somehow, I was always hiding who I really am from him.

***********************************

Finally, lunch period arrived, we put our seats together like usual to eat. My hands were trembling as I was trying to figure out how to offer the lunchbox to Jinu hyung without been weird.

- Mino, great news!! – said Jinu. – coach Tablo is bringing your uniform today, it has your name and all, so that means you’re definitely playing with us on Sunday!!

- Cool!!, by the way Jinu hyung I cooked today and I went overboard and did too much. – Then I gave him the dossirak. – Do you want this?

- Sure, how can I say no to free food? – He said while smiling and opening the lunch box. – Wow, Song Mino this looks so good and tasty!!

- I hope you like it. – I said feeling happy.

- Finally, I can have all my food for myself, first time I’m not going to be desperate looking for food when I get home. – mock Hoony.

- Yes, thank you Mino, you’re doing a big favor to all of us. – added Yoon and was again laughing his crazy demon laugh.

- Ha, ha, ha, very funny. You know you love sharing your food with me.

- Yes, as much as we love your nagging on the soccer field. – said Hoonie with sarcasm.

As we were eating I couldn’t help but still glances at Jinu, his expression were so good, he really looked like he was enjoying his food, what better way to thank me for it. Jinu is so dense and never seems to notice how I put special attention to him, but suddenly I realized that Hoony was looking at me suspiciously, and Yoon looked like he was struggling to tell me something but didn’t know how. I must be less obvious about it from now on, at least until I can confess my feelings to him, I don’t want him knowing trough someone else.

- So, Mino, you met Eunji noona. – Yoon finally had the courage to ask.

- Yes, she seems nice. – I said.

- Did she said anything about me? – he asked.

- Well, she talked about all of you guys, she showed the fan site.

- That girl is pretty crazy, right? But she is cool, we all like her – said Hoony.

- I actually find very flattering how she takes her time to manage that fan site. Although it is weird to see yourself in that like you’re some kind of celebrity. – said Jinu. – I also think that she is very talented with creating websites and all of that, I’m sure she will be in the entertainment business in the future, maybe like a reporter or something.

- She is very talented. – added Yoon. – You know she has this project of creating a school paper, and we already offer her our help. I will take pictures for it and Hoony will be in charge of the humor and entertainment section.

- What about you? – I asked Jinu.

- Well, I’m not really good at anything. – he replied.

- Nonsense. – said Hoonie. – You’re good at many thing, and besides we already assigned you with the sports section. Oh, hyung! – said Hoony like remembering something all the sudden. – I forgot to ask you, how was first period?

Yoon and Hoony started laughing and Jinu cheeks were red like strawberries and he started choking with his food, I offer him my soda so he could drink from it, he took a sip of it and I was thinking about the indirect kiss we just had when Hoony said something that broke my heart into pieces.

- I still don’t understand what you see in her? You’re head over heels for that girl and I think you could do so much better. – He said and I could swear he stole a glance at me while saying it.

- Don’t say that. She is pretty and cute like a chipmunk, besides what I like more about Mina is her personality. She is so funny and outgoing.

- And loud and annoying. – added Hoony.

- And she is the freaking captain of the girls’ soccer team!! – exclaimed Jinu.

- Hyung, she is practically a dude with b.oobs. – said Hoony while he and Yoon began to laugh like crazy as I joined them so I didn’t look weird, even though my heart was sinking in the depths of the ocean.

- So, if you like her so much why don’t you just ask her out? – asked Yoon.

- I don’t have time for that, with the tournament and school. Besides you know I must get at least a B in English if I don’t want to be kick out of the team.

- Is just excuses. – said Hoony. – Hey, Mino. You’re good in English, I remember you went to that international school back in China.

- Yes, Mino. – said Yoon. – Why don’t you tutor Jinu hyung?

Even if my heart was broken, how could I said no to that? He was already staring at me with pleading eyes, he must really need that B. Besides now I know he is straight so I will not be deluded anymore, there should be no harm, just two friends studying together, and I’m well aware now that nothing will ever happen between us.

- That’s fine. I can be your tutor.

- Great. – said Jinu. – Since we don’t have practice on Tuesdays and Thursdays we can go to my place to study. I will at least make dinner for you, I promise.

Fantastic, now we will have to be together all day 5 days a week. If this would have happened 15 minutes ago I would have been ecstatic, but now I’m just disappointed at myself for been such a fool again.