Chapter 1: Faded and scratched

“I’m glad you’re awake.”

Those four words were the ones the boy heard from his wake. He lazily opened his eyes and found a blonde haired guy staring at him. His lips went agape and his fingers twitched. He felt a lot of better now compared to the last few days of tortured breath. The blonde haired guy called out for his assistant and wrote something on his notes. A minute later, his assistant came inside and checked his blood pressure, the result clearly earning a smile from the blonde man.

“Can you breathe properly now? Does your chest still hurt?” The man asked. He was wearing a white gown and he also had his name plate just below his stethoscope.

Oh Sehun, it read.

“Can you roll your eyes upward if you can understand me?”

The boy did what Sehun told him which in return, Sehun gave him a huge smile. “I’m glad that you’re recovering now Kai.”

The boy’s eyebrows narrowed from what he heard, “K-Kai?” he asked. The brown haired nurse and Sehun gave each other a quick glance before the nurse walked out of the room. Sehun sighed and grabbed the nearest chair he could find.

“It’s your name since you couldn’t remember yourself.”

“You gave me that name?” Kai answered, full of curiosity. He admit that he had seen the doctor for a few times but he never got the chance to talk to him. All he could do is follow his orders and try to understand what they are saying. Sehun scratched his nape and wrote a few notes once again on his notepad. “That’s temporary though. It’ll be what I’ll call you until you remember.”

“W-What happened then?” Kai almost stuttered leaving Sehun to chuckle.

“I am sorry but,” Sehun paused for a second, “I cannot answer that.”

“What do you mean?”

“I can’t help you remember.”

Kai frowned from the doctor’s answer.

“You need to do me a favor.” Sehun called out. Kai raised an eyebrow and slowly, he rose up from the white velvet bed. Sehun assisted him and put a pillow behind the patient.

“How could I help you when I’m lying here and not knowing anything at all?”

Sehun smiled, “Then help yourself remember. Once you do, that I could help you and tell you what happened.”

“It doesn’t make any sense.” Kai protested. He doesn’t even know his name or this man in front of him. All he knew is that he had been here for too long.

“Would you like to take a walk outside?”

“Better than this stuffy room.” Kai replied that made Sehun quite shaken. He bet that Kai is returning back to his old self and that’s what he wanted in the first place. He assisted Kai as he stepped down the bed slowly. It felt weird for Kai when he felt his knees helping him to stand. The cold marble floor felt foreign to him yet it feels reviving.

Sehun grabbed Kai’s left arm and lend him a hand. The doctor’s cold grasp made him flinch but rather that Kai didn’t protest and let Sehun stay by his side.

“So,” Kai started. He was curious about everything and anything at all that he would even want to ask why the sun is shining brightly outside. “how long have I been here?”

“You’ve been here longer than you thought.” Sehun answered. As they step out of the hallway and walk through the pavements that lead to the Hospital’s garden, the green lush trees, chirping birds, flowers blooming at different sides and the bright and cheery day. It felt rather a comfortable ambiance than what he had a few minutes ago when he woke up.

Being with Dr. Oh might be awkward and new but he cannot doubt who he is with now. It’s all Sehun he could trust.

The warm breeze tickled his nape and it was a pleasing feeling to Kai. Sehun probably saw this and didn’t hesitate to ask, “How does it feel to see the world again?”

Kai didn’t answer at first and wanted to observe what he could see. He felt happy but there’s seriously something bothering him. It felt like the world is trying to hide something behind those fluffy clouds.

“It felt new.” Kai retorted and turned to Sehun. “I felt like I was reborn without any sins.”

Sehun tried to hide his shock upon Kai’s words. His tongue seemed to be tangle by his patient’s response. It was definitely a thin sign of hope but Sehun thought that it might be too early. “What do you mean by sins then?”

“I don’t know.” Kai sighed and continue walking. “I just felt like I needed to say it.”

From kai’s answers, Sehun concluded that he needed more time and a few more treatments before he could go and explore the cruel world that isolated him for a few months from now.

--

They went back to Kai’s room and had nurses interrogate him and foster him. Kai didn’t try to convince himself that all those nurses were kind of annoying but he couldn’t do anything at all. He couldn’t be mad, he couldn’t cry and it’s because he felt empty.

The same cycle repeated the next day and Kai hoped that Sehun would appear. Each nurse opening the door and smiling at him felt like a complete ghost to him. He could sense that he’s secured but alone. He squeezed his brain cells hard, wanting to know why he’s only with nurses. He absolutely sneaked out of the room last night. He saw that he was not alone, at least but what made him surprised is that those other patients like him had someone beside them.

They weren’t doctors or nurses or maybe staff, those patients looked comfortable around those people who they are with. He could differentiate his atmosphere with them.

So where are they? Kai hoped more than once that one day, if that door ever opened, there would also be someone for him either if they’re crying or happy to see him, he just wanted someone.

But a week had passed by and there was no one.

--

Kai stared at the ceiling and breathes slowly as the invisible seconds pass by. He was bored and he felt useless. What was he even doing here? He needed to at least do something like the others. Convinced by his own opinions, he stood up from the bed and strolled towards the door. He twisted the door knob only for it to be twisted back by someone. He stepped back and welcomed Sehun who had been smiling since he saw Kai.

“I see you’re about to escape.”

Kai deliberately shook his head. “I-I won’t!”

Sehun chuckled and what Jongin noticed were his smiles. It was rather what Sehun was holding.

“What are those for?”

“Tools for the past?”

Kai doesn’t answer and just let Sehun assemble what he had brought. It was an Easel, a white canvas and also a few jars of roygibiv paint. Sehun had quietly put them around the corner and even put a small stool in front of the easel.

“Tada.” Sehun mutters leaving Kai silently wondering what it was for. Was it to keep him entertained while he was kept like a prisoner here?

“I’m only giving one shot to you.” Sehun instructed, “I want you to paint what you remember. Fill this plain canvas with colorful paint. Whatever words or people who you know, I want to see them through this canvas.”

“What if it’s not enough? And what if I can’t remember?”

Sehun did not face him and walked towards the door, the cold metallic tang of the door knob touching his warm palm. “You just need to dig deep. Let your hands handle it, the paint flow like memories and it won’t matter.”

Sehun opened the door and stepped outside but he stopped midway when Kai spoke again. “B-But I can’t paint!” He shouts almost like a desperate plead.

Sehun doesn’t answer and as the door closes, he slowly murmurs, “Yes you can.” He heaved a deep sigh like he’s exasperated of everything. “Jongin.”

Kai stared at the empty canvas unable to process an image.

“That doctor must be crazy.” He muttered inside his head and looked intently it. He grabbed the green jar of paint and picked the smallest size of the paintbrush.

He did a line with one but realized his mistake. He tried to undo it by rubbing his palm on the stained canvas. It only grew worse. Kai stomped his feet in mere annoyance.

He felt like a corpse.

He could feel no emotion but rather emptiness.

He couldn’t remember.

No one cared for him.

“Come on Kai, think.” He told himself and closed his eyes for a moment. He tried and tried and tried his best to remember something.

But nothing came.

--

Days had passed almost completing another week. Kai hollowed his cheeks as he finished a small image of a music box. Sehun came and checked on him with a small surprise.

“You’re remembering?” He asked kai who was utmost focused on the canvas. He finished coloring the music box and turned to Sehun. Sehun could tell that he’s not sleeping early like he used to. Kai was very determined to remember that he didn’t speak to any nurses. He kept his thoughts to himself and didn’t ask cliché questions like what was he doing there or what he did in his past life.

Seeing Kai’s passionate but random , Sehun could not interpret what he did on the left side. It was just a splash of random colors rather a picture but he needed to let Kai focus, just let him be.

From the canvas, all he could see are a music box, a cat, black and white ribbons, a coconut tree, two apples and eyes that were definitely his.

But Sehun’s curiousness was lead to the highest when he got to see an empty space in the middle of the canvas. “What’s this?”

“I keep on remembering someone but I couldn’t paint his face yet.”

Sehun stiffened from Kai’s answer. “Who was it?”

“I don’t know too."

--

“Thank you so much Dr. Oh.” An old lady bowed in front of Sehun in which he was happy to return. “My little Luhan’s been very good now—“

“Aish Halmeoni!” A boy beside the old lady protested. “I told you, stop treating me like a baby!”

“Oh really? I would stop treating you if you would promise me you’ll drink coconut juice and avoid all those bag of potato chips that’s been torturing your prostate!”

“Aish stop it!” The boy named Luhan blushed a bit and attempted to cover his grandmother’s mouth. Seeing his grandmother being carelessly loud in front of someone and even mentioning his prostate was surely annoying and embarrassing for Luhan. His grandmother gave him piercing glares before turning to Sehun who was still watching them.

“Dr. Oh, I want you to take this bag of fried coconuts for your health.” Then she elbowed Luhan and the latter rolled his eyes and shoved Sehun the small plastic. “Xi Luhan!” His grandmother hissed at him.

Sehun could only snicker and bow. He could also guess that the two were Chinese based from the accent they have. Sehun gave Luhan a quick glance before his grandmother, “If there are any problems again, come visit me.”

“Tch, I hate doctors.” He heard Luhan whisper while rolling his eyes. Sehun didn’t answer him back just let the small smile creep and stay on his face. “Have a safe way home.”

Sehun watched as the two bicker at the hallway and that boy Luhan being hit multiple of times. He shook his head and was almost startled by the nurse who was already by his side. “Dr. Oh, Kai had already finished his medications. His Easel is also done.”

--

When Sehun had arrived in Kai’s room after a successful operation, he saw the boy sleeping on the floor while holding a paintbrush colored in black. Sehun wasted no time and gazed at Kai’s work. His eyes automatically became slightly anxious from what he saw but aside that, he’s happy that Kai’s finally remembering.

In the middle, he could clearly see a pale boy with big doe eyes. He also has that pink heart shaped lips and that small reassuring smile. Kai also had given the boy a beautiful touch of pink blush across its cheeks. 

Sehun’s last wonder was if Kai could just remember his name and that boy painted on the canvas.

---

COMMENTS IF I DID YGOOD IF YA'LL ANTICIPATING ABT THE PAST EHEHEHEHE THAT'S ALL ILY GUYS