The window sills were covered in dust and the window panes were as blurry as can be. Wonwoo shifted his gaze to the man who had just walked into the room, smiling. It’s as if Wonwoo had just taken a paint brush and painted a huge smile on the man’s face. The man threw a can of pop in Wonwoo’s face just like he always did, in which Wonwoo caught in a flash, just like he always did.

“Will you quit doing that Soonyoung?”

It didn’t sink in fast enough for Wonwoo. He stood in front of the boy he poured his everything into. He didn't quite seem to understand what was happening. Soonyoung snapped his fingers loudly in front of his face in order to catch his attention. It was only at that time that the latter broke free from his trance. 

“I’m really going. They’re stationing me in Afghanistan next week” Soonyoung exclaimed as he reached to envelope Wonwoo’s hand and wrapped it into his. 

“So you’re leaving me?” Wonwoo immediately retracted his hands and crossed it in front of his chest, making a sour face. 

“You know I’m coming back. I’m only getting deployed for 9 months babe. The days will go fast. I promised.” He reassured him with a trusting smile. “I’ll be back before you know it.”

Wonwoo, parading a black outfit, never thought he’d come to Soonyoung’s house so soon. It’s only been 5 months since he was deployed. He scanned the room with his oh-so-glistening eyes. Everything looked the same, untouched, and as if time froze everything still. He ran his finger on one of the tables. “I’ve told him to dust it up before he left for his deploㅡ” 

A set of arms tapping his shoulders stopped him in his tracks. He was met with Junhui, their long-time childhood friend. “I’m sorry but we have to leave now or we’ll miss the ceremony.” Wonwoo’s eyes pleaded to stay a little bit longer but he knows that kind of tactics doesn’t work on Junhui anymore. He knows because he’s tried it numerous amounts of times before. He nodded before following the older one, who in turn, gave a sympathetic smile.

Wonwoo promised himself he wouldn’t break down at the ceremony. He promised, he really did, but he knows he won’t be able to control himself the moment he sees the casket in front of him. It took him every ounce of energy, as if he even had any left to begin with, to make it through until this day. 

Soonyoung’s body inside looked too serene as if nobody could ever disturb him from waking up. 

There were many familiar faces in the crowd that Wonwoo recognizes. Today, somehow his mind refuses to acknowledge any of them. It’s as if everything was a blur. His mind was detached, floating through space. Killed in Action by an IED. KIA. Kwon Soonyoung. The South Korean flag that was draped on Soonyoung’s casket was now being folded, ready to be given to Wonwoo. With Junhui’s hand on his shoulder, the flag was passed down to him. It was only then that the reality started sinking in. 

The reality that Kwon Soonyoung is gone. The reality that Kwon Soonyoung is dead and contrary to his promise; is never coming back. Kwon Soonyoung; a fallen soldier to everyone’s eyes but a fallen angel to Wonwoo’s eyes. 

The first week and the second week were brutal. Hell the first 3 months were excruciatingly painful. Wonwoo looked for Soonyoung in every place he thought the latter could be. But he’s never going to show up, no matter how hard he tries.
He desires to hear his voice one last time. He missed his deafening naggings. He went to their usual drinking spot. But no matter how many times he goes there, he just can’t hear anything. Soonyoung’s voice is nowhere to be heard. He missed it and no matter how much he quaffs the bitter taste of the alcohol, he just can’t seem to hear his voice. 

The most burdensome part is moving on. When will Wonwoo ever move on? Willl he be able to? Maybe he will. Maybe he won’t. But that’s the beauty of maybes. There is a chance he might never recover from this tragedy but there is that little hope of maybes… that maybe he will. 

“I hope that whenever you are, it’s always nice and I hope the sun shines and that it’s a beautiful day.”