Maybe Not Temporary

“Hey, I think I’ll be home late today. Sorry.”

Before Sehun could let out any sound from his already opened mouth, the line goes dead.

Which Sehun should probably get used to as this has been becoming an ongoing pattern of Kai for the past three months. Then again, why does he still feel a sense of disappointment whenever Kai announces his absence for the night.

Well, at least he’s coming home tonight. Though that did not stop a resigned sigh from escaping his pair of lips.

Putting his phone faced down on the table next to his shared bed with the man he just phoned, Sehun let his back fall onto the soft mattress. Staring up at the ceiling, he couldn’t help but wonder what is Kai doing right now. Is he having his training? Is it hard and too straining for him? Or is he having a special one-on-one sparring today? Did he win? Is he hurt—

Once that thought made an appearance in his mind, he immediately shuts his eyes with a frown. He knows he is, it would be a surprise—miracle even, if there wasn’t a single scratch on Kai at all. It was bound to happen when one does boxing for a living.

Switching his body position to the right, he curled himself up into a ball after getting under the thick blanket, trying to get rid of any unfavorable images out of his head.

Happy thoughts Sehun, happy thoughts. Repeating like a mantra, his face slowly relaxes and soon fell into a deep slumber, not moving an inch when there was a sudden presence of warm breath tickling the skin on the back of his neck.

3 Months ago

Kai always has a passion for boxing.

It may or may not be due to the influence of his late father and anyhow, it became a dream of his to fight on a national level. So, when his coach finally deemed him as potential material after six years and offered him to join the annual local boxing competition that multiple clubs participate in, he couldn’t say no. After all, it was a known fact that it was where players are scouted by professional teams.

Of course, the first person that he would share the great news with is his boyfriend, Sehun.

Needless to say, Sehun was ecstatic for Kai. He knows how much Kai loves and enjoys boxing. Heck, he was already in a club before they met. Kai applied to a boxing club as soon as he graduated high school at 18, met Sehun shortly after at 19 and proud to say, are still going strong.

“The competition is in six months. So, I will have to go through extra training, like way more. Which means we can’t spend as much time as we are now. Is that okay?”

Well, Sehun expected it, it is a big competition. It is also a golden opportunity for Kai and from the way his eyes light up and glitter when he talks about it, he can tell how much he wants it. He definitely wouldn’t want to get in his way. Besides it’s only for six months, he’s pretty sure he can deal with it.

“Yeah, it’s fine. I’m really happy for you.”

The first week

It was not that bad.

Despite the one date that Kai had cancelled at the last minute, they still have their ‘fancy dinner night’ every Saturday. There were also days where Kai made time for small coffee dates and random night walks which Sehun really appreciates.

Everything is pretty much the same. Is all good for Sehun so far.

The fourth week

At this point, Sehun could tell a difference. A subtle one.

There were two or three times where Kai would forget to inform Sehun of his extended trainings and not turn up for their lunch date. There were also times where the older male failed to leave a message to let Sehun know that he would be home later than usual.

Though it’s fine, really, Kai would always make it up to Sehun at night.

The seventh week

Now, something is definitely off.

Forget missing dates, they barely set one any more. And of course, as times goes, ‘fancy dinner night’ is no longer a tradition of theirs. Well, Kai still does apologise for his doings, but sometimes Sehun wonders why does it sound like he is indifferent about it.

“Hey,” Kai came home on schedule today.

As much as Sehun wants to take this chance to just cuddle with Kai all night, he decided to have a talk with Kai instead. A talk regarding how their relationship might have taken a wrong direction. “I have something that I want to tell you.”

“Yeah? Come here.” Kai motioned as he shoots out his palm, offering Sehun to take it.

Untangling his fingers that were playing with each other—subconsciously—he accepts Kai’s gesture and rests himself on his lap.

“What is it?” Kai asked, sincerely curious.

“Um—”

Honestly, Sehun doesn’t know how to begin. Does he start from telling him how he had felt for the past weeks? Should he first bring up about the current situation that their relationship is in? Or—

Sehun assumed that he must have took a while with his little debate that he had in his head when Kai suddenly winced and said, “Sorry babe, could you sit beside me instead? I had a tough set for the thighs today.”

“Oh. Oh, y-yes. Sorry.” Sehun mumbled before quickly scrambling off Kai and settling on the couch, next to him. Without knowing, again, his fingers find their way to each other with his eyes concentrating on the unpolished wooden floor.

This time, it didn’t go unnoticed by Kai.

“Hey baby, you okay?” He questioned, his tone laced with a hint of concern, while taking Sehun’s hands into his once more.

It was either the worry in his voice or the caring action that he showed. Maybe both. Sehun doesn’t really know. What he does know is that it made him somewhat flustered, causing his cheeks to be kissed with a hue of pink.

“Y-yeah. I’m fine.” Am I really?

Looking up at Kai, he continued. “So, uh—what I was trying to say was—”

And he paused.

That was when he sees it.

The small, faint bruises at the side of his jaw. That little scar right above his eyebrow. The sense of tiredness radiating from his eyes.

Not that he was unaware of it before. He was, many times in fact. Except, for some reason, this time is different. Something got to him.

Yes, Kai scored a shot to the next step of his goal. He’s at his turning point of his life.

But, it did not occur to Sehun that Kai might be having a hard time too. Given the stage that Kai is in now, one would think that things are going great for Kai, that he’s living his life. He’s doing what he loves after all and he is doing it at a next level. And that’s what Sehun thinks too.

What Sehun did not know is that Kai is not exactly having the happiest time of his life. Instead, Kai is sacrificing more than ever. He’s working even harder than before. Giving double triple the effort into what he’s doing.

And Sehun is aware of that now. Only now.

Was I too selfish to not recognise that I’m not the only one losing out? Sehun thought to himself as guilt washed over him.

“Sehun?”

Stepping out of his trance, he realised that he was spacing out for the second time.

I can’t do it.

“So,” Getting a grip on himself, Sehun continued. “I ran into Baekhyun today. Apparently, he managed to open his own café. And he’s inviting us over next week for its opening party.” Which is true, just that it happened two days ago.

“That’s great! I’ll check with my coach later and let you know if I can make it.”

“Later?” Sehun asked, one of his brows raised. He was not expecting this.

Though something deep down tells him he should have.

“Yeah, I’m heading back for some overnight training. Just needed to grab something.” Standing back onto his feet, Kai shuffled over to their bedroom, into the toilet and took ‘something’ that Sehun assume was a toothbrush.

Oh.

“You didn’t mention it before, so I thought—” Sehun says as he follows Kai’s footsteps like a shadow.

“It’s an impromptu thing. Sorry. I’ll see you tomorrow.” Turning around after pocketing it, Kai explains as he pulls Sehun closer to him so that he could plant a kiss on the younger’s forehead, before heading towards the main door.

The eleventh week

What Sehun did not expect from all of this is losing their physical intimacy.

Since the beginning of their relationship, Kai rarely keeps his hands off Sehun. He would make use of every opportunity that he finds to ensure that he has a form of physical contact with Sehun. Be it an arm around his waist, a pet on his head or something as simple as having their hands brushing against each other.

Yet now, is so hard for them to even see each other. The irony, when they practically live together.

As Sehun is not much of an early bird, he doesn’t get to wake up to Kai’s face like how he used to. Only when the day turns into night, Sehun does see Kai, if he’s lucky. Though, when he is home, Kai will be too worn out and go to bed as soon as after he showers.

Another reason as to why Sehun wakes up in the late morning was probably because he spends the night staring at Kai’s sleeping face, until he falls asleep at least. It was to make up for the hours or days that Kai failed to grace him with his presence.

Still, Sehun is contented with it. It was enough to keep him sane.

However, above all that, what Sehun yearn for is their emotional connection.

He couldn’t remember the last time they had a real conversation. Not the regular greetings or the casual question of “How’s your day?”, but the heart-to-heart talk. Where feelings are shared and thoughts are exchanged.

He missed the times when Kai would complain about the excessive routine that he was given. He missed the frustration that lingers in Kai’s voice whenever he whines about his coach. He also missed the way his boyfriend would always comfort him whenever his upset, the words he would give to keep him moving.

He’s only half way through, and he’s already not living it. And what if Kai does get picked up by a pro-team? Would things get any worse?

Though frankly, he doesn’t want to think about it at all.

All Sehun hope for is that after this competition ends, everything will be back to normal. Hope that he will be able to get back his affections and attentions that he craves from his lover.

Present

Instead of the alarm clock that Sehun had set the day before, he woke up thanks to his sensitive skin. He can feel the small pepper kisses along his ear to his jawline and fingers lightly playing around his waist area. Squirming, Sehun turns his body and snuggle himself against the body of the man he calls his. With his head right under his chin, Sehun breathes in the scent that he missed and can never get tired of.

“Morning sleepyhead,” Kai greeted while chuckling at his lover’s action. As a response, Sehun nestle himself further into Kai and let out a whine as a protest after hearing what Kai said afterwards. “Is time to get up.”

He’s so cute, Kai squealed internally before hinting at his intention for making Sehun waking up earlier than usual. “Come on baby, are you sure you want to spent the whole day sleeping today? Specifically, 26^th of May?”

Hearing that, Sehun shoot up instantly, so fast that it took Kai off guard.

“You remember?” Sehun asked, eyes wide. Although, it sounded more to a statement.

Confusion starts to be evident in Kai’s eyes. “Why wouldn’t I?” Kai asked, looking at Sehun like he’s crazy, silly crazy.

“N-no, it’s just, I—” thought that it wouldn’t occur to you, seeing that you’re so busy these days.

However, at this very moment, that didn’t matter anymore. “Nothing!” Sehun settled with as he attacks Kai with the biggest hug he has and the widest smile he owns.

Letting out a hearty laugh, Kai encircles his arms around Sehun’s slender waist and flipped them around, with him currently on top of Sehun. Removing his hold on the younger’s waist, he rests his warm hands on Sehun’s soft cheeks and lowers himself so that their foreheads are touching.

“I love you.” Kai confessed out of the blue as he looks into the pair of eyes he loves with his own full of admiration, adoration, and affection.

To Kai, that may be just adding to the number of times he proclaimed his love for the taller male.

However, is a different story for Sehun, he is this close to breaking down at the moment.

It sounds overly dramatic, but really.

It was a huge transition for Sehun, from being showered with Kai’s presence majority of the time for three years to him being alone for most days, weeks.

Sure, he has friends that he hangs out with time to time but is just not the same. They don’t make him feel like he’s on cloud nine from the smallest gesture, they don’t make him go all shy with the casual compliments and they surely don’t make him go breathless by just looking at their existence itself. If anything, it made him feel the opposite. It made him missed Kai more.

Yet, those mere three words seem to make up for the loneliness and blues that he was living in for months.

The swarms of emotions hit him like a truck and he can feel the tears gathering in his eyes, threatening to fall. It has been a long time since the true feeling of happiness visited him.

Before the tears can scream in victory, Sehun throws his arms around Kai’s neck and wraps his waist with his legs. Not because he knows his lover is not a fan of him crying, but to prevent the moment that he has been longing for to be ruin.

Quickly wiping away the tears that managed to stain his face, he tightened his grip and whispered, “I love you too.”

“Kim, good news! The senior that you’ve been blabbing about have agreed to meet with you. You better come down here in 10 before he leaves!”

so did he go or nah? he probably did.

but oh well, do decide on your own!

again, as always, do comment down your thoughts on this story. be it good or bad.