It was only a few days later that Myungsoo finally noticed the change in himself. It was inevitable. He now realized why the rest of the members were constantly glancing at him with uneasiness. And how the air around them was stiff and tensed.

Not only has his physical appearance completely thinned out, he looked sickly. He also felt lackluster.

It surely wasn’t as if he was entering and fleeting fever or perhaps invaded by flu but a certain numbing of tiredness was instantaneously draining him. In the past there were moments that no energy can be mustered to regulate the slightest movement but recently the unbalancing became frequent.

Despite his outmost attempt to hide this exhaustion from his fellow bandmates, they have begun noticing when Myungsoo lost his footing more than usual.

How Myungsoo sweated so much more than he typically did within only an hour of dance practice despite that amount only being what was normal in 5. Tiring became effortless as sometimes just walking a short distance is enough to make him wish he out and sleep.

Albeit Myungsoo performing foremost and exceedingly to act and pretend that he was feeling congenial and not desperately tired, s noticed anyhow. But not even a single individual commented some type of fact or wariness because they know. They know that Myungsoo would do everything in his own power so that people didn’t have to worry about him. Yet if there was the slightest commotion, he’ll whine his way through till people stopped asking.

But their concern wasn’t thinning out. Especially since right now their second maknae has the most hectic schedule among the 7 of them.

It wasn’t helping their heart either when the younger’s appetite vanished. Now, the man was merely managing to eat the bare minimum to stay alive.

          “Myungsoo-ah, you’ve been out filming since 4am, did you eat anything?” Myungsoo was currently lounged on the couch when Woohyun arrived home. He finally saw the younger for the first time in 3 days and he can only say that the younger appeared to lose so much within those days.

          “Hm? Ah…no. I guess I was too busy filming that I forgot.” This caused the older to ogle at him in incredulity. How is it possible for him to forget to eat? Especially after such a long time span? Was this even the same Kim Myungsoo that loved to eat and was impossible to full?

          “Y-you forgot? But it’s now 8pm!” Woohyun saw the younger’s eyes widening in surprise and startling before darting around to find a timer to fix his limitless life. Did he not notice the change in time despite having the skies indicating every moment? Outside the window lays the vast endless sky that didn’t even have a spark of light contrast to the darkness.

          “Oh…oh, it’s this late already? I guess I didn’t notice time passing so quickly.” In truth, recently Myungsoo has lost his sense of time. It felt like he was drifting through the days. He didn’t even know what day it was or the date. All he has been doing is relying on his manager to tell him his schedule while also begging the man to not tell s anything.

          “Do you want hyung to cook you something? This can’t do. You haven’t been eating lately and it seriously is making you ugly.” His words held some truth. Sadly, Myungsoo was still gorgeous in all aspects. His beauty or looks weren’t something that can conveniently be named. He was the idealized lean and skinny that everyone admired, maybe even delicate. But the so-called beautiful body appeared nothing but ugly in Woohyun’s eyes.

          “Its fine Hyung so don’t worry about it. I’ll just get myself something to eat. There’s no need for you to go out of your way to cook.” He didn’t feel like eating. He wasn’t even hungry or felt the tiniest necessity to consume food. But he couldn’t even get his brain to function how such was strange for someone like himself who enjoyed eating and proclaimed himself to be married to food.

          “Nonsense! I enjoy cooking for you so by no ways am I going out of my way to cook.” Although Woohyun doesn’t cook for the members very often it’s not a lie that he enjoys cooking for Myungsoo. Something about their hardworking maknae a piece in his heart. Or maybe because Myungsoo eats really well. The way he stuff his mouth and chew with such happiness gave warmth to chef’s heart while also informing them that people enjoyed their creations.

          “But Hyung” Myungsoo was at the verge of protesting as his whine slipped out of his lips which were indeed at the beginning stages of forming a pout. But Woohyun wasn’t going to have any of it and he was determined to keep his thoughts. At least he can’t give in right now - not now that Myungsoo’s health deteriorated.

          “No buts! It is final. So sit back and wait here till I finish cooking. I’ll call you okay?” After seeing a reluctant nod from Myungsoo that took the room by minutes of silence, Woohyun gave the other a grin before turning on his heel and heading into the kitchen. Knowing that the younger haven’t eaten at all despite the long hours, Woohyun decided to cook up a notorious feast.

It merely took 30 minutes before he’s traipsing back to the common area to call the younger to eat. But what he found was their other maknae asleep and curled into himself on the sofa. It was a dilemma as Woohyun stood there not knowing which course of action to take upon.

Woohyun was well aware of how overworked Myungsoo was – the younger definitely needed as much sleep as he can get. But it was essential for him to eat as well. Even so, with the younger sleeping so peacefully and happily Woohyun didn’t have the heart to force the younger awake.

After standing and contemplating the pros and cons for minutes on hand, he decided to interrupt the other’s sleep anyways. Myungsoo barely ate anything nowadays and eating should only take 10-20 minutes. He can sleep later. Myungsoo will be home the next day anyhow since the younger was freed of any schedule for two days.

Maybe after a day or two of rest, Myungsoo will recoup if not recover. Their second maknae has been overly stressed out lately and Woohyun hopes that Myungsoo was fine like he claimed himself to be. Although the other members has been bothering him to get some sort of health checkup, the younger waved away the suggestions stating how he was just tired. If anything, Woohyun wondered how the younger hasn’t fainted even once yet.

They truly hoped that it was just the tiredness and not anything serious.

But they couldn’t be any more wrong. All it took was a simple news for their world to come crashing down.

Because…

          Somehow Myungsoo managed to lose another 5kg in two weeks. Within the two week time period he went overseas to film, separating him and s. The 6 members were bound to surprise as they were left speechless when Myungsoo returned. They thought it was impossible to get any lankier than what Myungsoo was but somehow the younger shed another layer of himself.

          Myungsoo himself was afraid. He realized how his body refused to function even with the easiest action. And how he struggled with even the simplest task such as getting off and out of bed. Also how he got waken by the slightest movement and sound yet sometimes sleeping so deep and long that people may think that he was dead.

Filming became so much harder as everything in life past as a blur but he knew he had to keep going. Despite being confused every minute he was awake, Myungsoo pushed through each day because he knew of the expectations placed on him. How heavy the weight of fame for Infinite is on his shoulders. It wasn’t as if Infinite relied only on him but at the moment his face carried people’s eyes. Of course Infinite is now a senior group with secured loyal fans and Inspirits is known to be one of the most calm and kindest fandom out there. But that doesn’t mean anything. Nothing in this world is 100 percent and the human heart is one of the most fragile life on Earth.

He didn’t want to return to the dorms because he knows. He knows that the members will see him and notice how he was different. As desperately he may try to hide or evade, the members will eventually catch him and then interrogate him. He wouldn’t be able to escape their confrontations.

          “Myungsoo-ah, what happened? Did you not eat at all for the two weeks you were gone or something? H-how is it even possible for you to get even…..uglier?” Woohyun questioned as soon as he caught eyes of the younger’s face and frame.

          “Is something wrong? This…how did this happen all of a sudden? No matter how hard it gotten for you, this has never happened.” Sunggyu also looked worriedly at him. It wasn’t the first time Myungsoo was consumed by work and stress but he has always returned the same or just slightly different.

This was the first time that Myungsoo went through such a drastic change. Even their debut day changes weren’t as dramatic or drastic. Their debut days were considered to be one of the biggest change as they went from unattractive to charismatic.

          “Tell me Myungsoo, do you feel sick? You know that you don’t have to try so hard for us right? Be selfish for once! Tell them no, tell them that you’re tired and that you don’t want to do anything!” Woohyun continued to scold as he ran up to smother the other only to feel overwhelming concern for the younger who was beyond bony under his arms.

          “No matter what you say this time, we’re not listening. You’re going to the hospital tomorrow and there is no arguments. Something is wrong. It’s inhumanely possible for you to lose over 15kg in a span of a month or two.” This time Sunggyu was determined and by no means will anything waver him. Before, he had gave in to Myungsoo’s stubbornness and pleading, agreeing to his wishes but no longer will he let the younger wander. He’ll bring him to the hospital even if it means tying Myungsoo up and dragging him.

          “Hyung, I’m fine. Really.” Myungsoo stated while mustering all of his emotions to sound confident and all right. He can only inwardly curse himself for getting caught. He should have stayed outside longer till everyone else went to sleep. But no, his brain couldn’t think of such a simple plan.

          “No you’re not so stop saying you are! Even if you were to go on your knees and plead, you’re still going.” Howon added in sternly. Even if he and Myungsoo have the most awkward relationship as the two don’t frequently converse or hang out together just the two of them, he actually cares deeply for the younger in his heart. And right now, the boy is seriously stirring up an unexplainable worry in the hearts of Hoya and the other 5 members.

Despite Myungsoo’s strong or cold exterior, the boy was sensitive and too kind and naïve for his own safety. His innocence and kindness becomes his greatest disadvantage. Because unlike Sungjong who is the devil’s spawn of a maknae, Myungsoo was delicate and sometimes fragile. He wears his heart on his sleeves and trust people too easily but just as likely to get hurt.

          “Hyung, I’m tired so please….” Truth to be told, Myungsoo himself was afraid of what results he’ll receive if he gets a checkup. He knows for sure that there are currently a lot of faults in his body. So right now all he can do is avoid going and come up with excuses not to. Who knows what the doctors will do to prevent him from working or taking him away from Infinite and their fans.

          “We’re not going right now. Get some sleep and as soon as you wake up tomorrow we’re leaving.” The tone of Sunggyu’s voice meant that there will be no more arguments as this decision is final with no rooms to compromise.

          “I….Okay.” He can only give up for now. Myungsoo still refuses to agree and go though. If he were to go, he’ll go alone so that no matter what the doctors tell him, only he will know. If the tests are negative, he can just lie and tell s that the reports are positive.

          Due to his unwillingness to have s know and worry about him, Myungsoo left the dorm early the next morning before anyone else woke up.

          Dongwoo screamed for Sunggyu as soon as he got into the younger’s room only to find not even a hint of shadow. It was an understatement to say that Sunggyu was merely mad. The oldest was fuming in anger of the escape of the younger while the rest attempted to call Myungsoo to ask his whereabouts.

Myungsoo had no schedule today so he was supposed to be resting but he suddenly disappeared. As no calls and messages was answered, Infinite can only sigh and give up. Their second maknae was simply way too stubborn.

They kept silent for a few hours before certain news caught their eyes and ears before making its way straight to their hearts. They felt an overwhelming cold as an emotion of dread and fear engulfed their whole being.

Looking at each other, their eyes screaming fear and disbelief. They understood each other’s thoughts.

          There’s no way right? This is a lie right?

[A new unknown disease was discovered last week. It wasn’t till an hour ago that scientists and professors were able to release a warning to the world. Despite their discovery being over 7 days old, there has been no evidence to their statements and possible causes but for now a worldwide warning has been given.

There is currently no clear symptoms or any ideas about the possible outcome of contradicting this diseases or has any cures been identified or invented due to the scarce data on the new unknown viruses that is predicted to have hit hundreds already.

But what doctors have found to be similar in all of their documented patients of this disease is the sudden drastic change in weight over a short span of time. The victim will also constantly feel a sense of exhaustion that will not go away no matter how much rest is taken. One may even find it hard to even move or engage in simple daily activities. It appears that a loss of appetite is also another “symptom”.]

∞

“Imagine and dream. Then the world will change to how you want it to be.”

As idols, we’re bound to dream. And then do everything in our power to fulfill those dreams because we’re no longer alone.

Our dreams aren’t just for ourselves anymore but for 6 significant others and those who watched over us – those who supported us; inspirits.

Sometimes we sit alone and fantasize. But sometimes we also sit together as a group and idealize our future.

We do everything in our abilities to dream so that the world will change for the better.

Some of us are just more secretive. More quiet.

People may misunderstand that we’re stuck up and that fame has gotten to our heads. That we don’t treasure our fans like they’re supposed to be loved.

Even though Inspirits are the center of our efforts.

For that, I’m thankful for you Woohyun hyung.

Despite often times coming out greasy and cringe-worthy, hyung constantly showed Inspirits our love.

That they’re important to us and that Infinite is grateful to them.

So hyung, let’s imagine and dream. For that then the world will change to how we wished. Let the world conform around us, even if it’s only for a moment.

---------------------------------------

Let me escape reality.