I sighed as I sat in my room and stared at my phone. I shared a room with Seungwook (Riho) because there was a limited amount of single rooms and we were the only two that had known each other before the group was formed... Though Seungwook and Bin (Jaebin) seemed to have gotten quite close already.

I hadn't really found myself talking to anyone yet, apart from Seungwook, Bin and Junhoe. I found that everyone else seemed to be on a level that was too far away from my own. I'm not quite sure if it was jealousy or fear but they seemed to intimidate me. I had met them around two months ago, we still hadn't debuted at this time, yet I still found it hard to talk to them.

It was hard to be around them when people would have to interpret what I say for other members and then they would have to talk back to me through someone else... It was very awkward...

The door randomly opened, dragging me from my thoughts, back to the present. Seungbo was standing there, one hand on the door frame and the other hidden behind the door, grasping the handle as he rocked forwards to be inside of the room. "I was wondering if you wanted to join us for a movie?" He asked as I awkwardly led there, turning around to see him over my shoulder. The only problem watching a movie with the rest of them was the language choice... If Anthony put on a film, it would be English and we would have to do rock paper scissors for the language of the subtitles meaning that it was only Seungbo, Bin and Anthony who never lost out as the rest of us sit there trying to figure out what's going on through facial expressions.

"What language is it?" I asked, preparing for it to be in a different language meaning that I would decline, despite the subtitles (I wasn't in the mood to be messing around).

"Korean with Mandarin subtitles." He said and I swivelled my body to be sitting on the bed before agreeing and following him into the living room where i found the rest of the members crowded around the sofa and table, waiting for our arrival to play the movie. The only space left was fairly big enough for the two of us and it was on the opposite end of the sofa to where Bin and Seungwook were cuddling up together in a comfortable embrace.

For some reason I found Seungbo the hardest person in the group to deal with, and he probably felt the same about me, because he seemed to be able to do a hell of a lot more than I could even attempt and he seemed to be able to do it naturally, without effort or rehearsal. Most of the staff we worked with preferred working with him over me because he was more relaxed and was always so polite where as I usually made them feel awkward if I didn't have something or someone to talk with or about. I wouldn't be surprised if he had ended up drawing the short straw when he came to call me from my room to even ask about the movie.

Once we had sat down the atmosphere only continued to get more awkward than it had previously been as I was trying to sit in as isolated a position as possible whilst being surrounded on all sides by the back of the sofa, Seungbo Bin and Junhoe in front.

The movie wasn't that interesting, or if it was I didn't have enough incentive to actually watch it with the situation I was in. I ended up muttering a quick "I'll be back." (which was a lie) before escaping past Seungbo in the direction of my room. I hadn't actually managed to make it through half of the movie before I left, I had just felt so out of place. It wasn't even Seungwook and Bin's actions, it was more just the presence of Seungbo... There was something about him being too close to me that nagged at something deep in my mind. I wasn't sure if it was a good or bad feeling but I didn't really want to wait to find out...

Falling down onto my bed, I let a long sigh of relief flood from my lungs. My head felt lighter now that I was out of the crowd in the other room.

I soon found myself scrolling through instagram on a secret account that I had made, after joining A to Z but I'd kept using it when I joined Varsity just so I could see what had been released about the group and even keep up to date with some of my other favourite groups.

"What are you doing?" A voice asked from the door, startling me because I had been laughing at a short video that I had found. I was surprised as to who it was, Seungbo never usually talked to me outside of the times that he was forced to by the other members, though this could easily be Seungwook's doing...

"Nothing much..." I muttered.

"Oh, okay..." He sighed coming in awkwardly, but staying near the door. "I just thought I would check because you said that you would be back and the movie is pretty much over..." he explained and I nodded an apology.

"Sorry, I'm fine." I said, turning around to face him. "I wasn't too interested in the film, amd I wanted to be polite..." I explained. "What about you, aren't you missing the ending?" I asked.

"Nah, it's not that good and I've seen it before." He smiled before walking a bit further into the room and sitting down at the chair by the desk, placed on my side of the room. "I know we've never really gotten a chance to talk properly before..." He started, awkwardly rubbing his neck as he spoke. "I don't want things to be awkward between us... considering we're going to be in a group together, and you seem like someone I would usually get along with..." He tried to explain.

"I guess..." I muttered. In all honesty I didn't really know Seungbo very well but most of my prejudice had been pushed into rejecting change, which is one thing that Seungbo seemed to optimise. 

"I know you're awkward around me." He said with an awkward laugh and I smiled slightly now that he was starting to relax in my presence, but soon put up my stone face again. "I just hope you'll relax around me a bit more." He muttered then randomly stood up and turned away from me.

"Are you okay?" I asked, raising my body so that I could go to him, if needed.

"Yeah, I'm fine..." he said as he made his way back to the door before turning around quickly before speaking. "We're going over Manny's mother's house for food on Saturday, to celebrate Junwoo's and Anthony's birthdays... I hope you join us..." He said before quickly and shyly slipping out of the room, but not before I noticed the slight tint to his cheek. I hadn't really noticed that it was even that warm in the room...

 On the next Saturday I actually ended up finding myself in the car with Junhoe and Seungbo on the way to Manny's Mother's. I hadn't originally intended to but Junhoe had managed to weasel me out of my room and forced me to sit in the back of the car with Seungbo as he drove, saying he was 'too angry' at me for not agreeing straight away to let me sit near him. I could tell that his words weren't true but I didn't have the strength in me to argue with him.

Junhoe kept on looking back onto the rear-view mirror as Seungbo and I sat there, fidgeting with my fingers and the hem of my sleeve.

"So..." Seungbo muttered. "When do you think they will be releasing the teaser pictures?" He asked me randomly.

"Some time later on this month." I said. "Around the 20th apparently, but that is what Seungwook told me so you can't take it too seriously." I muttered with a small smile, hoping to get rid of the tension in the air.

"I heard you two almost debuted in a different group...?" Seungbo asked with a strange twinge to his words that I couldn't quite place or understand.

"Yeah, we were originally part of a group called A to Z... but we disbanded before we even debuted." i explained. "We then ended up being dragged into Varsity and here we are... Didn't the same thing happen to you?" i asked forwards, my eyes meeting with Jumhoe's in the mirror before his eyes skipped over to Seungbo's then back to the road.

"Yeah, roughly... It pretty much ended the same way though..." He explained and I nodded.

"Have you ever been over manny's before?" Seungbo asked randomly.

"No..." I muttered. I hadn't really bothered even trying to get closer to any of the Chinese members... I probably should have... 

"You always seem distant from the group, do you regret joining?" He asked and I laughed, shaking my head slightly.

"No... I'm just not that great with people..." I said, hoping my excuse would pass through and he would stop questioning it.

"Well, I'm going to have to change that." He said with a wide smile that showed off all of his teeth. And true to his word, when we reached Manny's mother's house he ended up putting his hand on my back (which I didn't seem to find uncomfortable) as he sided me through to the kitchen where they had a table full of food and on the work top there was even more food and drink spread out with two distinct cakes placed to the side, waiting for everyone to clear off the rest of the food.

I found myself saying a curt hello to Manny's Mother, with the help of Bin, before I was ushered to begin eating with the rest of them, being forced to talk by both Seungwook and Seungbo, who had claimed the spaces either side of me.