[CHAPTER 39]

"Sunday"

"Sorry, I'll come tomorrow instead," Hongbin said on the phone in secret.

"It's okay. Is it Hakyeon?" Taekwoon asked.

"Yeah... sorry, I'll definitely drop by to help you tomorrow."

"Don't worry about it. You have a lot on your hands too. Just take care of Hakyeon okay?"

"I will. Thanks."

Hongbin found himself bounded by Hakyeon's demands and sorrowful expressions. He's always been weak to Hakyeon's tears and cries. He was never able to leave the older alone whenever that happens and Hakyeon didn't let him go anywhere that night.

What am I going to do? Hongbin found himself sighing in confusion as he thought about what to do. He thought about giving some space to Hakyeon until the older calms down since the latter was worried about Sanghyuk but Hakyeon's sudden change in attitude made him doubt his decisions once more.

Hongbin returned to the bedroom and opened the doors quietly since Hakyeon fell asleep. He turned off all the lights except the side bed lamp because the older was afraid to sleep in the dark. Hongbin crawled slowly into the bed while trying not to disturb the older but as soon as he did, Hakyeon curled closer to Hongbin.

"Where did you go?" Hakyeon muttered those words while half-asleep.

"Washroom," Hongbin said.

Hakyeon fell asleep just like that. That night was the first night since forever that Hakyeon slept in Hongbin's arms.

Hongbin once thought that his return to Hakyeon would eventually bring them together more and they did have their moments of peace until Sanghyuk fell ill. Everything changed in their relationship and despite the fact that Hakyeon finally returned to Hongbin, there was change in their bonds. Hongbin can't help but admit that things will never return to the way it used to be. Hakyeon can be childish at times, which made him adorable in many ways but there are times where it frightens Hongbin with the way Hakyeon talks selfishly. Of course, Hakyeon can act stubborn and persistent all he wants, especially after everything he's been through, but it also leaves Hongbin in bewilderment as to what he should do.

Rather then selfishly staying behind, he's now more worried about the future. He knows for sure that if anything, Hakyeon will have to eventually choose one over another, that is, choosing either Hongbin or Sanghyuk's life.

What's more important? Hongbin can kind of guess the answer already because if it was him, he knew exactly what was the best for everyone.

I love you Hakyeon-ah, but if we stay together like this... what's going to become of us? Of you? Hongbin was frightened by the future he can't imagine. Hakyeon had no future, no one knew of Hakyeon's future, even the Goddesses who created fate could not foresee what was coming.

* * * * * *

Taekwoon slouched in the chair for hours after Hongbin left. He was distressed the entire time as he tried to solve the problems he had to face but at the same time, he was a bit thankful that Hongbin showed up. A part of him felt at ease knowing that he could finally talk to someone about his dilemmas and uncertainties. It took Taekwoon a long time to realize that he should have went back to Moirae's Edge like he was supposed to but a part of him was worried that after he leaves, Sanghyuk's condition would remain the same.

He let out a deep sigh.

Cough. Cough.

The subtle sound of the younger coughing in the other room worries Taekwoon to no extent. He got up to check up on Sanghyuk and opened the doors gently to see how the younger was doing.

He grabbed one of the towels next to the younger's bed and soaked it in ice water, he scrunched the towel dry enough to place it back on the younger's forehead.

"How are you feeling?" Taekwoon asked knowing very well that the younger had no energy to respond.

Taekwoon wasn't waiting for a reply from Sanghyuk but he was hoping that the younger's complexion would get better instead. Just then, Sanghyuk grabbed Taekwoon's wrist. It wasn't a tight one, but it was one that was enough to let to make Taekwoon stop what he was doing.

"Was... someone... here?" the younger forced out those words to form a question.

Did he hear me talking with Hongbin? Taekwoon worries.

"No, it's only me here," he lied.

"Don't...lie... to... me..."

"I'm not," the older insisted.

"Something... is... happening to me. What... are you... hiding?" Sanghyuk tried to open his eyes to look at the older but the pain made it difficult for him to concentrate on anything.

"I'm not. Just rest. Give it some time, believe me," Taekwoon found himself ruffling through the boy's hair gently, "soon, I promise very soon, all the pain you're feeling right now will go away. I'm sorry this happened. I'll make everything right again so just hang in there a little longer, please."

Sanghyuk didn't utter another word and only listened to Taekwoon's quiet yet sincere apologies. They were in a situation where neither of them could have ever imagine it to be this way. It was a strange feeling for two of them but there were no complaints. At this very moment, Taekwoon was the only one Sanghyuk had by his side and whether he liked it or not, he really didn't care to think about it. All he knew was that there was someone by his side during this time where the pain was slowly eating up his insides.

I will definitely make this right again, even if it kills me, Taekwoon thought as he sat on the side by the younger's bed and fell asleep.

* * * * * *

Throughout the entire night, Hakyeon never let go of Hongbin while he was asleep. He held desperately onto the younger, refusing to let the younger out of his sight. That being said though, Hongbin who woke up first, tried to wiggle some space to get out of bed. Hakyeon was still deep asleep, proving just how much sleep he has lost these past several nights because of his worries.

Hongbin went to the bathroom and washed his face to wake himself up completely. He was glad that Hakyeon fell asleep peacefully but on the other hand, it became a restless night for Hongbin instead.

He let out a deep sigh as he opened the cupboards to see what he could make for breakfast. Hongbin was never a good cook and to be honest, even if he could make something edible, he was too lazy to do it. He realized just how spoiled he's been all these years since he was born because his mom would prepare everything for him without asking him to do anything in return. It made Hongbin feel a bit guilty as thoughts of his family and home suddenly flashed before his eyes. Though he never had any deep or meaningful conversations with his parents, it didn't mean that he didn't love them. They were only worried for their son who refuses to go out of the house, but they never tried to force Hongbin to do anything that he didn’t like. So, Hongbin eventually grew to take advantage of the silence he got. Since no one forced him, he didn't have to do anything to satisfy anyone. But now that he was gone from home for so long, he couldn't help but feel a bit home sick to be honest.

He rummaged the fridge to grab some ingredients out to prepare a light meal and as he did, every little motion and things he did was like an imitation of what he saw when he was younger.

I wonder how they're doing... Hongbin thought as he chopped the ingredients finely enough to be placed neatly in a bowl.

As he concentrated on making the meal, Hakyeon suddenly caught him by surprise with a backhug.

"H-Hakyeon?" Hongbin turned around to see the older holding onto him tightly.

"What are you making?" Hakyeon asked.

"Breakfast."

Though it wasn't obvious, Hakyeon was trying to hide his trembling as he held tightly onto Hongbin but the younger could tell right away that the older was scared of something. Was he worried that Hongbin was gone? Hongbin turned around to hold onto the older tighter and tried to put Hakyeon's heart at ease.

"Wash up, let's have breakfast," Hongbin suggested as he hope to calm the older down and securing him with his touches.

Hakyeon let out a slightly reluctant nod and retreated to the bathroom.

Minutes later, he came back outside looking more woken up and more energetic. He sat down by the table obediently as Hongbin served the food for the two of them.

"It's not much, but have some," Hongbin offered.

Hakyeon looked suspiciously at the food and then took a bite of the toast that the younger made.

"So you do know how to cook..." Hakyeon said.

"I don't, not really. This is all I can make. It's what my mom used to make all the time for me," Hongbin said.

"Your mom?"

"Yeah..." Hongbin realized he shouldn't have mentioned his family in front of the older," anyways, let's eat."

"Okay."

"What are you doing today?" the younger asked as he munched on the food.

"Staying with you," the older said boldly.

"I see, "Hongbin almost choked on his food by surprise at the older's statement. "What do you want to do?"

"Anything you want."

The things that Hakyeon was saying suddenly didn't feel like him at all which really caught Hongbin by surprised. He didn't know how to react to Hakyeon's bold statements and persistence.

"Oh, I found a really nice shop yesterday when I went downtown with Sungjae," Hakyeon said.

"Sungjae?" it was the first time Hongbin heard of that name.

"The substitute teacher for Hyogi's class..." Hakyeon found his tone dropping at the mention of Sanghyuk's name," anyways, it's a really nice place. Do you want to go with me?"

"Sure," Hongbin smiled at the older.

That was exactly what became of the Sunday.

After breakfast was over and all the dishes were put back to where they belong, the two of them got dressed and headed out. They took the bus to get to downtown and along the way, Hakyeon secretly held onto Hongbin's hands when no one was looking. Hongbin was slightly glad at the older's warmth yet he knew that Hakyeon was doing all those things out of insecurity. But Hongbin decided to just let things be, he decided not to question anything anymore as he spent the last day of the weekend was his beloved one.

They went from one shop to another, while Hakyeon led the entire trip with Hongbin following right next to him. Even though yesterday was actually Hakyeon's first day exploring downtown, he felt like he was obligated to lead the tour of the city. They went into a few art galleries, boutiques and ate a lot of snacks along the way. Hakyeon smiled happily and he dragged Hongbin around. The younger was relieved to see even the slightest smile show on the older's face.

"Look, this is so cute," Hakyeon said as he pointed at one of the dolls displayed by the window of a shop. "It looks just like you."

"How?" Hongbin stared at the green pea plushie by the window.

"Kong," Hakyeon chuckled. "He's a bean and so are you."

The older giggled childishly at his little joke but Hongbin laughed along with him.

"Do you want to buy it?" Hongbin asked.

"Why do I need it? I already have you, don't I?" Hakyeon asked back.

"I-I guess," the younger suddenly felt a bit of guilt jabbed through his chest.

After the countless shops they went to, they finally got the chance to sit down at a nearby park to relax. The park was quiet and comfortable, the trees were didn't have any leaves or colors at the moment as if they were still hibernating for the rest of winter and though the air was chilly, it wasn't as bad as they thought it would be. Winters were usually vicious in the city but luckily, it was rather warm that day.

"It smells like spring," Hakyeon commented as he took a sniff at the breeze that passed by.

"Mhmm," Hongbin nodded.

"I can't wait until the cherry blossoms bloom. They'll be so beautiful."

"Yeah."

"Let's come here again once they bloom," Hakyeon suggested. "We can take a lot of photos and stuff. I've always been so busy the past few times that we never got a chance to come here together or take any pictures. Let's do it next month!"

Next month... Hongbin gulped.

"Kong-ah?" Hakyeon noticed the younger's expression suddenly changing.

Hongbin grew quiet and didn't reply much, "I..."

He couldn't say it. He didn't know how to say it.

It was beginning to hurt just imagining what might happen, not just next month but even tomorrow or the day after tomorrow. Just how many more tomorrows will they be spending together?

Hakyeon let go of Hongbin's hands and grew quieter.

"Did you make up your mind after all?" Hakyeon asked sternly.

"..." Hongbin swallowed his words.

"Are you going to leave me?"

"Hakyeon-ah, I..."

"You're leaving me, aren't you?" Hakyeon turned to face the younger and Hongbin could see right away how sad Hakyeon became.

It wasn't just Hakyeon though, but it was the same for Hongbin as well.

"I can't stay," Hongbin finally said. "Me staying here will only make things worse. You know very well that I shouldn't have come here in the first place. I don't belong here, and this isn't where I should be."

"But we can change that, can't we? I can help give you a reason to be here, be by my side. I have the power to do so, don't I? That's why you guys gave me a blank book so that I can write your story for you. Isn't that why you came back?" Hakyeon tried to hold back his tears as he questioned the younger.

"I came back because I had to bring Jung Taekwoon back," Hongbin reminded him.

"Then you can send him back first and then come back to me later, can't you?"

"It's not that simple..."

"It is that simple! How can you do this to me? I thought you came back because you wanted to be with me. Now you want to leave me alone, again? Are you going to erase my memories like before, make me forget about you once you go back?" Hakyeon finally gave out and tears started to flow.

"No! That's not it. Hakyeon-ah, please calm down."

"How can I? How can I calm down when I'm about to lose you?"

"Hakyeon-ah, it's true that that's what we planned for initially, but things aren't that simple anymore. I told you before as well, didn't I? I would have to choose between staying here with you and never going home or I stay back in Moirae's Edge as we seal the gate in order to prevent anyone from doing the same things again. You even said you were alright with whatever my decisions are."

"I said that... it's true that's what I said but... do you really think I wouldn't be hurt by you wanting to leave me? I know you miss home, I can imagine it. I miss my family just as much even after everything that's happened but... I... I love you. So much that I don't want to imagine my future without you. You said I don't have a future, right? Well, I don't care what happens in the future as long as you're in it."

Hakyeon cried and cried as he confessed. Those words moved Hongbin just as much as it pained him. Of course, he wants to be with Hakyeon just as much as the older wanted to be with him.

But that was easier said then done.

Things have become way more complicated than he could have imagined it. Images of an uncertain future, and a disastrous one started to flash before Hongbin's mind. All he could really think of was the fact that him being on Earth with Hakyeon would eventually bring chaos not only to humanity but also to those involved. It's true that Hakyeon could help Hongbin create his existence in this dimension but what next? After his fate is written, after he settles down on Earth, what happens then? Is it really happily ever after as fairy tales always end in? Wouldn't that just be too ideal?

There were more things at stake than anyone could imagine and Hongbin didn't want to meddle with the fate of humanity as he already had done. He's done too much that even now, he was hoping he could revert time to change all of that. He wants to be selfish, but he knew very well that his selfish actions will only bring more pain to the future.

"Hakyeon-ah... forgive me," was all he could say as he held only Hakyeon's hands in desperation one last time.