Two hours had already passed and I had written almost nothing on my notebook because the teacher spoke too quickly and I rarely, or almost, never wrote despite knowing the whole alphabet.

"Why haven't you written anything down?" Kyungsoo asked as soon as the teacher left our classroom and he used the same tone of voice as Jongin so not to scare me.

I glanced at his notepad and compared to him I had written practically nothing. I really wanted to take advantage of this opportunity given to me to have a normal life, but it seemed that I was far behind in the matter of knowledge.

"Hi." An extremely cheerful voice interrupted my line of reasoning, and I lifted my head, but I immediately lowered it.

"Hello, Jongdae. Do you need anything?" Kyungsoo asked.

"Nothing in particular, Kyungsoo. I just came to introduce myself to HyeJin." He replied and I felt his gaze on me. "Hello. My name is Kim Jongdae and I want to be your friend." I lifted my head at the word friend and looked at him in surprise.

"A friend is a person who wants to maintain a relationship of affection and respect with you. Jongin is not only your adoptive brother, but he is also your friend because he has a great affection for you or feels a certain fondness for you. Friends are loyal who will not abandon you when you're in trouble. A friend does not have to always agree with what you think, but have to accept it and try to help you, whether in good or bad situations. It also protects you from danger and you can trust him too. And the most important of all is that a friend will accept you with all your defects and your qualities."

The explanation of a friend that Doyeon gave me echoed in my head and I looked at Kyungsoo because I didn't know what to do. I didn't even know if I was allowed to have friends since my life was always full of rules and restrictions. I still felt Jongdae's gaze on me and I was beginning to feel pressured.

Noticing my nervousness, Kyungsoo took my bag and took out the package with my candies. He opened it and gave me a candy that I put in my mouth right away.

"Jongdae, HyeJin is a bit special. She doesn't speak due to a traumatic experience and recently suffered an accident that made her lose her memory so she doesn't remember many things. She doesn't deal very well with people so she doesn't know very well how to react."

Kyungsoo explained as he took the small thing with my carrots and opened it. I quickly picked up a carrot and began to bite it as the animal named rabbit I saw on television.

"It's all right. I didn't want to pressure you, HyeJin. Sorry, my proposal will always be standing." I looked confused at Kyungsoo.

"He meant that he'll wait until you want to be friends with him."

"That's right. I hope it's soon." His smile was not as big as at the beginning of the conversation, but he continued to garnish his lips and I felt guilty because I knew that some of his joy disappeared because I didn't want to be his friend.

Is it so important to him to be friends with me?

However, being friends with him was the least I could do since he saved me without even knowing me.

Jongin stopped as he left the building called the mall and looked around us as if he were looking for something. His expression changed rapidly from relaxed to frightened.

"I forgot about the bag with mom’s purchase in one of the shops we went. For the love of God, do not leave. I'll be right back." I nodded and he hurried back to the mall. I watched curious the people walking past me and closed my eyes for a moment to feel the air.

For these people air is such a banal thing, but for me it is a privilege finally to be able to breathe fresh air.

During the time I spent with Jongin inside the mall, he did not let go of my hand for fear that I would get lost in that sea of ​​people and because he thinks I am afraid of people. I spent practically my whole life in a small place with more people than there fit, so I did not freak out when I saw that accumulation of people in one place.

I opened my eyes abruptly as I felt something wet on my cheek and I touched my cheek feeling something cold. Soon  the other cheek was wet by something and I lifted my head. The sky was gray with clouds of the same color and that could only mean one thing. I could not go back inside the mall to protect myself from the rain because I would definitely get lost and Jongin would be worried if he didn't find me here. I looked around for a solution and my eyes stopped at a boy who opened an umbrella, an object that served to protect oneself from the rain.

I more than anyone else knew I should not approach strange, but the need to protect myself from the raindrops that began to wet my clothes slowly was becoming greater than my fear of strangers. I rushed toward him and clung to the body of this man I didn't know, but he protected me from the raindrops with his umbrella. My body began to tremble as the raindrops hit my body because of a strong gust of wind and memories of the past passed through my mind increasing my desire to cry that this time I couldn't control.

"Hm, are you okay?" The boy who was supposed to be my age asked without turning away and I shook my head.

I want the rain to stop!

My tears were already wetting the stranger's shirt, but I didn't want to part with him because his umbrella protects me from one of my greatest fears.

"Are you injured? Lost?" He asked quietly and I felt his hand make circular movements on my back to calm me down.

Why are men out here different from those in that hell?

"Are you afraid of anything?" He asked and I nodded.

I felt he was going to say something, but he was interrupted by Jongin's yell that came rushing toward us.

"I told you not to leave, Jin." Jongin said and I stepped away from the boy to meet his eyes. "Who are you and what are you doing with my sister?" He asked with a serious countenance.

"It was her who just came running towards me and hugged me as if her life depended on it," the stranger defended himself. "I think she's afraid of the rain." He told his suspicion to Jongin who turned her gaze away from the stranger to look at me.

"Is it true, Jin? Are you afraid of the rain?" I nodded slowly. "I'm sorry that I reacted badly." Jongin apologized and pulled out of one of the sacks an umbrella smaller than the stranger's one. "You can come, HyeJin." I let go of the boy who protected me from the rain with his umbrella and hugged Jongin with immense strength, but he did not complain.

"Thank you one more time." I could finally see him completely since I hadn't paid much attention to his physique before.

He was only a few inches taller than me and his skin was just darker than mine. His hair was reddish brown and his hair strands bend making curls. His eyes were as dark as Jongin's and his lips were slightly pink. I just could not analyze him anymore because Jongin's father stopped the car in front of us and I quickly entered, being followed by Jongin who thanked the stranger again for helping me.

"Good morning." The teacher called me back to Earth and I quickly ate the rest of my carrot  not to risk being reprimanded since it was forbidden to eat during class.​​​​​​

***

When the bell rang, all the students dropped the pens they used to write and ran out of the classroom without worrying about putting away their materials.

Are our materials going to stay overnight at school?

"It's lunchtime, HyeJin." Kyungsoo warned me and I nodded without moving from my seat. "Come on." He held out his hand and I picked it up.

I followed him through the corridors, not knowing where he was taking me, and I watched everything curious around me. The sound of people talking and laughing invaded my ears and I looked forward curiously to know where we were going. Kyungsoo opened a large door and a sea people invaded my field of view. They were sitting in groups just as I watched on the television and talking to each other while they ate.

"Your brother is there." Kyungsoo pointed to a table where Jongin was talking to a boy I didn't know. Kyungsoo started to walk towards this table and Jongin noticed our presence on the way.

"Hello, Jin. Kyungsoo hyung." Jongin greeted me and pointed to the chair next to him so I could sit down. "Do you want to sit with us, hyung?"

"No, thank you. I'll see you later, HyeJin." He smiled in my direction before pulling away from us and disappearing into the thick sea of ​​people.

"Who is she, Jongin?" The boy with whom Kai was speaking before asked and I moved closer to Jongin because the boys' gaze on the table was intimidating me.

"Her name is HyeJin." Jongin introduced me and took my hand to give me security. "HyeJin, this is my best friend Taemin and the other guys are Minho, Jonghyun, Jinki that we call Onew and Kibum, better known as Key."

"Is she your girlfriend? I heard some girls whining and crying because their favorite oppa so you had arranged an older girlfriend and that you came hand in hand to school with you."

"First of all you're more popular than me and secondly my parents welcomed her so she's like a older sister to me." Jongin explained and Taemin smiled in my direction.

I don't like him.

"Don't even think about it, Lee Taemin. She is out of your league." Jongin warned and put his arm around my shoulders protectively.

"Let's see if she resists my charm." Taemin laughed.

I turned my gaze away from Jongin's best friend and looked at Jongin who was eating while talking to the other boys. He felt my gaze and realized my silent question so he nodded. I took the chopsticks with a little difficulty because I hadn't yet gotten used to eating with it and I took the piece of meat that fell on my first attempt to take it to my mouth. I felt the boys' gaze on me and I lowered my head even more. I tried one more time and failed.

"Let me help you." Jongin said and with extreme ease took the piece of meat.

"I've never seen you so attentive with anyone, Jongin. Are you sure you don't feel anything for her?" The boy named Minho asked with a smile on his lips.

Jongin ignored him and continued to give me food although sometimes I managed to eat alone.

The same girls of this morning were sitting at the table next to our watching from the corner of their eye and I didn't understand why they were staring at me with a frown.

***

"I’ve noticed that HyeJin can't keep up with taking notes in class. She is very slow writing." Kyungsoo informed Jongin, who was listening carefully.

"Do you have any idea to make her faster?"

"I have the feeling she didn't write much before and that's why she's slow. I put my sheets with the notes I took in every class in her bag. Instead of making photocopies, I suggest that she writes everything down by hand and that you time the time it takes her to copy everything. The more she writes, the faster she will become. Her handwriting is already readable so we must focus on improving her speed."

"Okay, hyung. We'll do it that when we get home." Jongin reported. "See you tomorrow."

"See you tomorrow. I'll be waiting for you at the front of the gate tomorrow." Since I couldn’t say goodbye with words, I waved and followed Jongin to the car waiting for us. Jongin let me in first and tightened my seat belt as he sat down beside me.

"Hello, dad."

"Hi, son, HyeJin." I nodded slightly without turning my eyes away from my hands.

"Who was the boy who was talking to you?"

"His name is Kyungsoo. Since HyeJin's condition is special, the principal decided that he would take care of her during class as they are in the same class." I didn't hear any response from Jongin's father and I wonder if I'm in any kind of trouble.

"She did well." I squeezed my hands as I noticed the somber tone in his voice.

I stood still for the entire ride because I could feel the penetrating gaze of my owner on me and I did not want to take the risk of making a mistake.

"We're here, HyeJin." I shuddered as I felt Jongin's hand on my shoulder.

"I won't come in with you because I still have to pass by my job." Jongin's father said and I hurried out of the car to get rid of him for a few hours.

"It's okay. See you later."

I took Jongin's hand and pulled it out so he could hurry off. He heeded me and walked to the door of the house which was opened by an old lady.

"Good afternoon, young Kim. Young Oh." She greeted us and Jongin passed by her without giving much attention to her.

He took me to his room and I looked at him confused by his behavior since he is nice to the other employees.

I also worked at the house of important people when I was ten years old and our bosses always treated us very badly and looked at us with contempt as well as all the people who were clients of that hell. On my first day in this house, I woke up early thinking that I would also have to do household chores and all the maids tried to stop me from working what I didn't understand since they are usually happy when there is someone else to help them. Only when Doyeon walked into the kitchen and the older maids explained the situation did I realize that I was in an unusual situation.

Never in my seventeen years of life did I thought I would have people serving me and not the other way around.

Whenever I passed a maid, I tried to smile and treat them with respect because I knew what it was like to be treated with contempt. They are still lucky because this family still treats them as people and not as slaves who should only work.

"I know what you must be thinking. It does not matter to me whether people are poor or rich, as long as they treat me with respect, I will do the same, but I really don't like that maid. There is something about her that bothers me a lot." Jongin explained and I nodded.

A person can not like everyone and it is better to keep its distance than to show its displeasure.

Someone knocked on the door and I got up to open it. One of the maids had a tray with food in her hand and I took it thanking her with an almost imperceptible smile. I sat down on the bed again and handed the tray to Jongin who also sat down and stared at food as if it were the first time he had seen it.

"I'm starving to death. Good thing I didn't even have to go in the kitchen." He smiled and picked up one of the sandwiches, but instead of eating it, he stuck it in my mouth.

"You have to eat too. You're too thin for my pleasure. If I could, I'd force you to eat the triple you eat, but that wouldn’t be good for you. Besides, you have this habit of only eating when someone says that you should." Jongin started muttering about my lack of weight as he ate and I watched him eating.

After we had eaten, Jongin and I went to the living room and Jongin went to get an object unknown to me. In the living room there was a table large enough for us to spread our books and Jongin sat down beside me.

"This is a laptop." Jongin set the object in front of me. The object was very thin and I was surprised to see Jongin open it in the middle revealing buttons with symbols and letters. "To turn it on, you have to touch this button." he pointed to a button with a circle in the middle. When he pressed the button, the laptop screen lit up and I looked at it in fascination. I heard Jongin's small laugh because of my reaction and I widened my eyes to see the image on the screen.

It was the first photograph Jongin took with me early in my stay here.

My reaction to seeing someone similar to me imitate my movements on Jongin's cell phone was to run away because it was frightening me, but after ten minutes of explanation from Jongin I agreed to take a picture. I really did not know what to do so I simply imitated Jongin who was smiling openly and simply showing two fingers. Jongin's smile was obviously bigger, but my smile came to my eyes that were shining for the first time.

"I liked the picture so much that I decided to transfer it to my laptop and put it as a background image. I also did it on my mobile phone." He showed me the image of his cell phone that was his before, but it was the same as the laptop.

"In order to use it, you have to write a word in this little box." He moved the square below the buttons. "To move the arrow, you have to slide your finger in this square and if you want to click something, you have to load twice." he explained. "The password on my computer is ... Jisoo." I looked at Jongin at the name of the female name and his cheeks turned pink.

He's so cute when he's flushed, but who is this Jisoo?

"Jisoo is my crush." He replied as if he had heard my thoughts. "What I want to say is that I like her in a romantic way, but she doesn't know about my feelings or my existence." I touched his warm cheeks with embarrassment and smiled amused. "Is it me or you're having fun with my embarrassment?" I shook my head, but my smile betrayed me. "I want to see if you'll keep laughing when you're in my situation." My smile slowly faded.

Love is something that will always be forbidden for me!

Jongin went on to explain how his laptop worked and though I paid attention to his words, I couldn't  prevent a part of my brain from repeating his words.

"Love is forbidden here, but out there is the feeling most wanted by people. It gives us the strength to face any obstacle for the loved one, but it can also be something negative. If love is not reciprocated, it is destructive and will only bring suffering and sadness. If love is sick, it will bring a person to madness. However, everyone isn't afraid to take the risk of living a love story because that's why we were raised." One of the prisoners explained to us what love was in her point of view and I was really curious.

Despite the inhuman circumstances, some of them were able to find love, but as soon as the bad men found out about the relationships, these couples were punished and directly separated. So far I've only seen the negative side of this feeling called love, but never the positive side that people talk about so much.

What feeling is it that can illuminate or destroy a person's life?