Day 67

“... 10 weeks,”

I hear that again. I hear that again and again. It keeps on repeating in my mind as if my brain is reminding me of how hopeless I am. After that day, I asked to leave the company. Thank god they don’t ask me a lot of questions, or I might have a break down again. For now, I prefer staying at home and let the days pass slowly.

I still hope this is just a dream. But having myself counting the days and taking medicines… how is this a dream?

I let out a heavy sigh and walk to the convenience store. I always go there now because of Hyerin.

Yes, Hyerin.

After the day when we first met, we sort of talked to each other. She is a fun person. Despite the fact that she’s 3 years younger than me, she talks like an adult. Like, more adult than me. Although sometimes her logic doesn’t make sense but it’s acceptable so it’s fine. We got closer as time passed by. I listen to her stories and she listens to mine. We argue a lot too. She’s so hard-headed that it annoys me sometimes. Though I told her everything, I haven’t had the chance to tell her about my sickness and my… cruel fate.

“Hey, you free after your shift?”

She has the counter duty again today.

“Oh, hey Jaehwan. Uhh yes… My shift ends in 15 minutes,”

“Okay, I’ll wait at the cafe next door,” she nods and I leave.

After about 30 minutes waiting for her, she comes in and takes her seat in front of me.

Ripped skinny jeans and black plain shirt. Her signature style.

“I thought you said 15 minutes,”

“Jeez, give me a minute to breathe,” she rolls her eyes “How’s it going today?”

She reaches out for my plate and feeds herself with my fries.

“Watched some movies at home,” I shrug.

“Good for you,” she sighs “I think I should quit my job too,”

I chuckle. What an idiot.

“Idiot, if you stop working who is going to feed you?”

“I’m aware with that, thanks Jaehwan, that’s why I don’t,” “And stop calling me idiot,” she stuffs more fries inside .

“What about you?”

“Me? Nothing really, my feet hurt from standing for a long time at the counter, sleepy, as usual,”

I nod. My fingers are busy playing with themselves. Is this the right time to tell her?

“Hyerin, I want to ask you something,”

She raises her eyebrows in questioning manner.

“What?”

I clear my throat.

“If you know you are going to die soon, what would you do?”

Hyerin stays silent for a while and straightens her back.

“Hmm… You know, I saw this in a movie a while ago. I’ll make a ‘Before I Die’ list,”

“What list?”

“’Before I Die’ list. Like a wish list. I’ll write down everything that I want to do before that day come,”

“So, after you write them?”

“I’ll do each one of them, of course, idiot,” she rolls her eyes again. Hyerin rolls her eyes a lot. “Because, all we have to decide is what to do with the time that is given to us,”

“Wait, did you just quoted a line from a movie?” this girl is unbelievable.

She grins and nods “Lord of the Rings,”

It’s my turn to roll my eyes.

---

A ‘before I die’ list…

Should I do it? Or not?

“All we have to decide is what to do with the time that is given to us,” Hyerin’s voice rings in my head.

I reach for the empty notebook I bought on my way home. This feels a bit funny, and a little awkward, and also a bit nerve-wrecking.

Taking a deep breath, I tighten my hold on the pen in my hand.

So,

1)…