"Yifan Ge, you know that I love you right?" Zitao whispered to a sleepy Yifan. He's huddled beside the elder, his arms wrapped around Yifan's right forearm tightly like a koala.

"Yes, as a brother?" The older asked, his head slightly leaning to where the younger is. His eyes are already closed, couldn't even open them properly because his eyelids felt like leads.

Zitao buried his face on Yifan's arm as he whined. "No! As a man!"

Zitao didn't hear anything from Yifan, so he peeked through the other's arm and saw the older's state. He smiled a little, butterflies fluttering in his stomach at the thought that he's the only one who had seen him like this. He's about to let the conversation die, but he couldn't help but ask the question he's been pestering Yifan for almost a week, and so he did.

"Do you love me?"

The older, even though on the verge of falling asleep, still mumbled out a fast answer to Tao's inquiry. "Yes, but as a brother."

Figures.

Tao's smile turned bitter, once again he buried his face in the arm he's hugging. The brunet knows that Yifan would always say no, and it's so sad that he's unable to stop his self from inquiring or—

From getting hurt over and over again.

Even though it's always the same result, it never fails to send another wound on the brunet's battered heart. Like the many lacerations that Zitao receives whenever Yifan rejects him, he's sure that this new one will heal yet it'd be marked as a scar like any other else. Zitao knows that this is madness; That every love he'll give will only flare up like Icarus' wings when he tried to get near the sun. Because Yifan's his sunshine, and he's just too bright for Zitao that whenever he tries to give his everything it starts a fire that burns him down. Up to the point where he'll be consumed in flames until there's nothing left but ashes.

But it's okay, because someday when his sunshine decides to provide his light to someone else— someone who's worthy enough for his beloved, Zitao would give up without a fight.

He'll let go even if it meant that he'd be abandoned in the cold, unforgiving dark, where he initially belongs.

Zitao would even step out of the light and go back to his miserable life.

That's how much he loves Yifan.

 He doesn't deserve to feel the warmth of his sunshine anyway.

His almost unbreakable friendship with Yifan started around middle school, back when he was a kid who's loved by many because of his wealthy parents. Yes, he's a kid who's loved when he's facing his classmates but hated when he turns his back. And he knew, but he pretends that the love he receives is all pure and untainted with jealousy.

Mask all the lies he tries, and from doing so he failed to notice that his world is dimming with all the negativity that's surrounding him. It made him feel insecure, made him feel that he's not enough, and lastly it made him feel like he's not a person of his own; That he's just a rich man's son.

Soon Zitao's jubilant personality vanished. He isolated his self from everyone, and that's when all hell broke loose. Those who hated him started to show their true colors and bullied him to the point where he begged his dad to make him learn something that would help him defend his self, of course without telling the real reason behind his plea.

That's the time where he learned Wushu, the only thing he's thankful for from being bullied. It honed him in a way that he found some inner peace—some because he's still looking for one thing; Love.

His parents weren't always there to provide that, and so Zitao decided that he'd only focus on Wushu and his studies. Isolating his self more in a way that only the teachers have the guts to approach him. Because Tao without a smile looks intimidating, and no one from his age could handle him without feeling like they're putting their lives on the line.

"Zitao's rich and knows martial arts; I don't wanna be his friend because he used to be needy of affection."

"I know, like what if he clings to me?"

"It'll make you look gay!"

"Exactly! And I wouldn't be able to pry him off cause he's either gonna kick my bum or
he's gonna call daddy to get me killed."

Tao heard those unbelievable words from his so-called playmates back then when he's about to enter the classroom.

Those playmates who didn't even lift a finger to help when his bullies tormented him. They used to follow him like baby ducklings whenever Tao plays with them back then. But look how the tables have turned, now they're reduced to backstabbing turds who couldn't even lower their tone down that people from two blocks away would probably still hear them ranting. Zitao could only blink his eyes as he stares at the door blankly. His face is as blank as an unused paper, but his heart's trembling with the reality that these type of scumbags once had a connection with him.

There are fifteen minutes left before the first-period starts and Zitao did what he had to do. He poured all the pain anger pulsed through him as he entered the scene with an expression set to kill. And it surely diminished the noises inside the classroom. He looked around, sure enough, there are only few who are still not present. Zitao poured his hatred as he kicked an unoccupied chair. Gasps could be heard, probably even reaching outside the room, but the boy doesn't care anymore. He broke what he could; From chairs to tables, and the chalkboard. But still, it did not cease the darkness that's filling up his heart like a black hole eating it whole. When Zitao's finished with the catastrophe he bequeathed, he noticed the damage he created. Some of his classmates are not present anymore while others stayed at the very back, their eyes painted with disbelief and fear. 

His principles from wushu are damned just for this moment, Zitao needed this.

"What happened here?!?"

He faced his teacher who looked like he's about to faint from what he's seeing. "I did this," he confessed, his arm raising to point at his classmates while his eyes are still locked with his teacher. "Because trash belongs in the dumpster. I made the classroom look like one."

His adviser could only gape at the words that spilled out of his student's mouth—voice overflowing with venom.

"I'm not trash so I need to get out of here, so do you, Mr. Lee." Zitao bowed in front of his teacher. "Thank you for everything."

After that Tao walked out, never planning to go back again. Even though he caused a ruckus, there's no fear residing inside him because he knows that Zitao can get out of this mess; He's a rich man's son, remember?

After the incident, Zitao's parents decided that he'll be homeschooled, and that's when his sunshine appeared through the help of his new tutor Eunhyuk, who apparently has another person he's homeschooling. That person happened to be the son of one of his father's colleague in business. It was all planned actually. His dad's associate was the one who introduced homeschooling when he heard about Tao's problem. Coincidentally his own son also had troubles in his school that he ended up quitting. The two talked about it with booze in their hands, and a week after Tao met Eunhyuk who's with another kid that seems to be a little bit older than the boy.

"Who are you guys?" He asked, eyes wary with the two, especially the one with the glasses.

"Hi! I'm Eunhyuk, your tutor!"