Thank You
Mad Love
It was difficult for me to use my legs properly and get near to my favorite patient. The cell was bigger than I remembered and due to her short stature, she seemed even tinier than she already was. Maybe that was on purpose. Throwing someone small into a big room with nothing in it makes them feel inferior and much more powerless than common cells. Is that what they want Taeyeon to feel? That she has nothing here? That she can't do anything in here other than to be at mercy of their will?
When I finally got near her, I realized she was sleeping… or sedated? I couldn't tell. Her eyes were closed and her soft breathing quickly gave her state away. I gulped upon noticing that her hair was oily and disarranged, showing that she's probably been without a shower for a couple of days. She was deeply underweight, clearly not being fed well enough since God knows when.
I got on my knees just beside her and leaving tears falling down, I touched her muzzle wanting to rip it off from her face as soon as possible.
“Doc?” I felt Yuri's hands touching mine, stopping me from doing what I so desperately wanted. “Don't.”
I looked at her. “It's not safe.” She said shaking her head sideways.
“But...”
She quickly interrupted me. “She's dangerous.”
“She's not an animal!” My voice came lower but firmly nonetheless.
“No. She's a psycho who needs to be stopped!” That made more tears come down from my eyes. “We had to stop her. I'm sorry, Doc… but she can't be trusted. She might hurt you.”
“She won't.”
“Last doctor she had injured, she did it by biting her ear off.” My eyes were wide open. “It's not safe.”
I looked back at Taeyeon, taking my time to observe her small face. The muzzle covering made me gulp anxiously. She was restrained in every way possible. Legs, arms, hands… and mouth. I've learned that in some cases when the patient is too violent and has tendencies to bite when angry we use the muzzles to stop them. We also use muzzles to make them quiet as it's very uncomfortable to speak with that over your face. And well Taeyeon… well, she is kinda a blabber… having this to shut is honestly… hurtful to see.
“Yuri...” I called her. I sensed the officer looking at me. “Please...” I pleaded.
“Tiffany...”
“This… is not… Taeyeon.” I said refusing to look at her face now. I was looking downwards, my eyes focused on her feet; only then I was able to actually smell the odor coming from her body. It wasn't pleasant the slightest. “This... is…”
“Tiffany...”
“Humiliating.” I replied gulping hard again.
“I'm sorry.”
“How long is she without a proper shower?”
“Two weeks.” I clenched my fists upon hearing the answer.
“And a proper meal?”
“Two weeks.” My nails embedded my palm forcefully. “She eats twice a day, breakfast and dinner. Those meals consist of a glass of water and a bowl of porridge.” Two weeks straight only eating that? Taeyeon would be lucky enough if she still has her teeth in .
“My God...” I covered my face with my hands. “How… How come you don't do anything?” I asked shocked by their behavior. “How come you let all this happen? How come you don't feel anything?”
“Like what?” She frowned her brows.
“I don't know… like… compassion?” Yuri's expression changed to a cold one.
“That inmate ed my girlfriend…” She said bitterly reminding me of that particular incident, making me look away. “The last thing I'd feel for her would be compassion!”
“Yuri...”
She scoffed raising up from the spot beside me. “Are you really gonna pity her now? Are you really gonna make me the villain here?” She asked angrily. “Just because she is wearing all that ed up stuff? Are you that weak?”
“I… I'm...not...weak.”
“She chose this, Tiffany!” She said coldly pointing her finger to Taeyeon. “She picked left, remember? All she's ever done in her life was to lie and steal and murder! And here you are, crying your heart out because your favorite inmate is without a proper shower!” I shook my head, trying to deny it. “Are you really serious? Can't you think for a minute about the people she bluntly killed? Look at the people just outside the gates, Tiffany! They are all screaming to this place being shut down because that ing psycho killed their husbands, wives, children and friends!” I used the back of my hand to wipe my tears. “This is ridiculous!”
“Yuri...”
“And I'm not here to hear you scold me for what I did or did not!” She stepped back, getting closer to the door.
“I'm sorry.” I tried to apologize. I heard her scoff. “I know she must be stopped from hurting other people. I know she's dangerous. And you're right… Those people outside the gates... they are in their rights to shoot for this place to close down. What she's done is unforgivable.”
“But...” She added knowing that I would counter that.
“I'm here to take care of Taeyeon. And I won't take care of her being restrained like this. I didn't come back here just to tie her up on the walls and let her starve to death!”
“She is not starving, Tiffany. Many children around the world have less than her to survive.”
“Taeyeon needs proper care.”
She scoffed again. “It's quite clear why you're her favorite doctor. You're too soft.”
“I'm not soft!” I raised up my voice, and myself, in order to stand my ground.
“Of course you are! Look at your tears! They're all shed just because that woman is chained to the wall! Can't you think of how ed up it is, Tiffany? Can't you think of how sick it is that you are fond of that psychopath?”
“She is not a psychopath.”
“That woman is everything but a normal person, Tiffany! And you know it! You just told me yourself! She is dangerous! She needs to be stopped! So why the you still care about her when you know she's not worth it?”
“She is worth it!” I replied firmly. “Everyone is worth it!” I said, quieter this time.
I got closer to Taeyeon and kneeled down again beside her. The first thing I got it off was the muzzle out from her face. Slowly and carefully I removed that apparatus from , noticing some strings of saliva inside. The smell I felt from hers made me want to rinse right away. I pulled up her upper lip to check her teeth and although they were all still there, the yellowish-brown color quickly gave the poor hygiene away. I let go of her lip and cupped her face, looking for any injuries but she seemed to be fine other than a few red marks caused by the muzzle on her white skin that will be gone after a while.
“Doc...” Yuri tried to speak again but I ignored, sniffing, and now proceeding to untie Taeyeon's straight jacket. That thing was one of the most uncomfortable things to wear ever. It didn't only prevent your torso and arms to move but also inflicts pain for the amount of time your arms have to be held in that position. One by one, I unbuckled the strings of the jacket. When all the strings were finally unbuckled, I took the jacket away, trying to not do any harsh movement that could hurt Taeyeon. “Doc...”
I threw the dirty jacket away, still ignoring her. “Doc, stop! You can't do this, she's gonna hurt you!” Now the only thing it was chaining her was the cuffs around her ankles.
“Yuri, listen… I know it is painful to you… Every time you look at her face, you remember what happened between Taeyeon and your girlfriend. I get it.” She huffed angrily. “I'm not asking you to forgive Taeyeon or to like her back… I'm just asking you to… please… uncuff her.” I saw her looking at the floor. “I'll take care of Taeyeon from now on and you won't need to worry anymore. But please, let me do it by having my patient free from all those chains! Please...” I begged, letting a tear stream down my cheeks.
“No.” She denied. “I'm sorry, Doctor. My duty is to keep others out of danger from her. I won't free her.”
“Yuri...”
“You are putting yourself in danger. And if she kills you, this facility will be shut down and I won't let that happen! So… you may have gotten rid off her muzzle and jacket, but I won't make her able to walk from here. I'm sorry.”
I hung up my head in defeat. I sat on the floor with my back against the wall and pulled the girl into my lap, the back of my fingers touching her face. “Don't worry, Taeyeon. I will take care of you.” I whispered softly. I tucked her hair behind her ear. “It's okay...” I said softly. “It's okay, I'm here.” I hoped she could hear me despite being unconscious. “It's alright.”
“How is that possible?” I heard Yuri ask coldly. I looked at her. “How does she do that? How can that happen? Why?”
“Why what?”
“Why you like her more than me? WHY SOYEON LIKES HER MORE THAN ME? WHY EVERYBODY LIKES HER MORE THAN ME?” I felt my heart squeeze as I saw Yuri crying some tears. I shook my head, not knowing how to answer that question.
“I...”
“It's not fair, Doc.” She kept shaking her head. “It
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