Sorry for taking so long to post this! T______T;

 

 

Minho was happy that, over the next few weeks, Jinki continued to call him on a regular basis. Minho enjoyed spending time with Jinki again, especially since Jinki often looked for him now.

At times Minho thought he must be delusional, because he would see Jinki staring at him, or he would say things like “I love spending time with you, Minho. You always make me feel happy,” or “I really like you, Minho,” which would confuse Minho’s heart and make him think for a second “Maybe Jinki-hyung likes me more than as a friend?”

 

Minho shook his head, sighing softly, until he felt someone poke him in the arm. He didn’t expect anyone to disturb him in the library.  He looked up to see Jonghyun smirking down at him. Minho wanted to laugh at Jonghyun and how happy he looked at being able to look down on Minho for once in his life.  His laughter stopped when he saw Jinki standing near Jonghyun, smiling brightly at him. Minho in a deep breath and just smiled back at Jinki, ignoring the way Jonghyun rolled his eyes at him.

 

“I’ll leave you two lovebirds to yourselves,” Jonghyun said, shrugging slightly and patting Minho on the shoulder. “Try not to look like a dog in heat, eh? I don’t think hyung would appreciate you slobbering all over him in your excitement.” Jonghyun grinned as Minho’s jaw dropped open in shock.

 

“Tsk tsk, what was I just saying, Minho?” Jonghyun smirked, waving his fingers as he walked off, leaving a stunned Minho staring after him. Jinki immediately sat down next to Minho; Minho felt like his legs were trembling when Jinki’s thigh bumped his. Jinki was too close, way too close, but Minho didn’t want him to move.

 

“What did he say? You look so shocked.” Jinki frowned, leaning forward eagerly. “Minho-ya?” Slowly Minho turned to look over at Jinki, recoiling when he saw how close Jinki’s face was. His eyes were wide as he stared at Minho, and those plump lips were close enough for Minho to kiss. Gulping, Minho pulled back, pressing a hand to his heart to stop its pounding.

 

“Uh, he was just winding me up.” Minho sighed, hanging his head. “He likes doing that, but I don’t usually pay any attention to it.” Minho swallowed when he saw how attentively Jinki was watching him, nodding his head as he listened to every word.

 

“Oh, I see. Um, can I ask you something?” Jinki bit his lip, glancing around the library carefully even though the area was deserted. Minho felt himself perk up at the way Jinki was being so careful. Maybe Jinki had something very important to tell him. “I mean, you don’t have to answer if you don’t want to. If it’s too personal, um, you can just ignore me. I’m not trying to make you feel awkward-”

 

“Hyung,” Minho interrupted with a soft smile, “just ask me?” Minho’s smile widened as he saw how embarrassed Jinki looked, the way his cheeks were flushed and how he looked down at the desk before he glanced up at Minho. Minho could see Jinki’s thigh shaking next to his, and he wanted to press a hand down and just tell Jinki to relax. Jinki wet his lips, his tongue sliding slowly across those lips, and Minho felt his face heat up too.

 

“Oh, I was just, um, wondering how you, um,” Jinki paused, leaning closer, “knew you liked boys? Like how did you work it out?” Jinki tilted his head to one side, his eyes widening; he looked so unsure. Minho felt his heart start beating rapidly again. Why was Jinki even asking him this?

 

“Hyung, why are you asking this?” Minho shook his head slowly, realising that was the wrong thing to say. “Well, I guess I was attracted to guys. I didn’t find girls attractive or appealing, and when I tried dating a girl, it just felt all wrong when I kissed her.” Minho shuddered at the memory, before glancing curiously across at Jinki, watching him intently for his reaction.

 

“Oh, it felt wrong? What do you mean?” Jinki touched his lips, blinking his eyes rapidly, as he stared at Minho. “How does wrong feel in a kiss?”

 

“I just didn’t enjoy it,” Minho said with a frown. “I guess I realised I wanted to just be friends with her and not actually kiss her.” Minho shrugged, still staring curiously at Jinki, wondering why he was asking all these odd questions. The weirdest part was how Jinki’s face revealed nothing of what he was thinking, usually it was so easy to tell what he was thinking or feeling but not today.

 

 

“I think he likes you,” Sungjong mumbled, patting Minho on the shoulder before handing him another beer.  Minho opened his beer and looked around the dark field, it felt so different at night and was such a big part of his life. During the day he would be running around kicking a ball, and at night he was always here with Jinki. It felt like the field was an extension of himself, but tonight it felt wrong because Jinki wasn’t there.

 

“I mean, I’ve seen him watching you all the time. Staring at you.” Minho turned to see Sungjong grinning at him, his hand squeezing his shoulder, before Minho looked away again. He chugged his beer, shutting his eyes and trying not to think about what Sungjong had just said. Minho didn’t want to let himself get carried away. It was just better to squash his feelings down and tell himself there was no chance; it was less painful that way. 

“Hrm, whatever!” Minho mumbled, flopping back onto the grass . “Jinki isn’t gay. Jinki doesn’t like faggots like Choi Minho!” Minho murmured, gripping the beer in his hand. “I am just delusional thinking that he’s looking at me or that he wants me.” 

 

A small part of Minho knew he was being ridiculous; Jinki had never seemed to care that Minho was gay. But it was just easier to think Jinki was disgusted by him being gay – even if it was blatantly obvious that Jinki wasn’t disgusted by that --. because then Minho could convince himself that there was no chance that Jinki could like him back.

 

“Hyung, just stop it.” Sungjong sounded irritated. “Don’t be like this, please.” Minho breathed out softly as Sungjong’s fingers touched his stomach. Minho opened his eyes to catch Sungjong frowning to himself and glancing around as if he was wondering why there were in the field drinking. Sungjong looked at his watch, biting his lip, and Minho pouted slightly.

 

“You have work, right?” Minho held the sigh back. He just wanted to drink with someone. Minho’s heart sank a little when Sungjong nodded his head. “Sorry, um, don’t worry, I’ll be fine alone.” Minho shrugged, hoping that Sungjong had forgotten how Minho had passed out the last time he drank. Minho would feel guilty if Sungjong phoned in sick.

 

“Hyung, are you sure you’ll be okay? Couldn’t you go home?” Minho watched as Sungjong stood up carefully, wiping his with his hands. “I hate to leave you here by yourself,” Sungjong mumbled a moment later, wriggling his foot, and Minho frowned down at his beer. Why had he wanted to come and drink here? It just reminded him of Jinki and how hopeless the situation really was. At the same time, Minho wanted to just stay and keep on drinking there. It was silly really, but it was the place he always met Jinki, so Minho hoped that Jinki might just randomly turn up. That was unlikely, but Minho wanted to lie there and at least pretend Jinki was there.

 

Minho drank another can of beer, watching as his friend walked off in the darkness. He frowned when he saw that Sungjong was on the phone and then smiled, figuring he was talking to Myungsoo. Minho felt so happy that things had at least worked out for them. With a sigh, Minho flopped down onto his back, gazing up at the few stars he could see. Minho thought Jinki was the sun, and he was one of those tiny, tiny stars that were barely visible. It hurt to look up at the sky and think of Jinki. It all hurt, and Minho wanted to drink more until he forgot everything.

 

When Minho sat up again, reaching for another beer, a hand stopped him, making Minho jump with surprise. Who had stopped him? Had Sungjong come back? Curiously, Minho looked up to find Jinki, his heart stopping when he recognised him in the darkness. Even through his drunken haze, it hurt to see Jinki and not be able to touch him. Minho wanted to shut his eyes and just turn away, but at the same time he couldn’t look away, not when Jinki was right there.

 

“Hey, I think you’re drunk enough,” Jinki murmured softly, tugging the beer from Minho’s hand. Minho groaned and then crawled over towards Jinki. “What are you doing?” Jinki whispered, eyes wide as he stared right into Minho’s drunken face. Jinki looked so beautiful, the way he was glancing down at Minho, the way he nervously wet his plump lips. Minho just wanted to lean up and kiss him; he just wanted to taste Jinki.

 

“Why did you ask me those questions weeks ago? It’s been bugging me forever,” Minho whined, sticking his lower lip out in an attempt to look cute. “Why did you want to know about that? You’re not gay or biual, are you?” Minho gently reached out, tracing his fingertips down Jinki’s chin, smiling when he saw how Jinki shivered and leaned into the touch. Minho could not fathom why Jinki wanted to know, and he swallowed, realising that, oops, he had asked the questions even though he had planned on keeping them to himself. But seeing Jinki’s eyes widen and the way he suddenly pulled back just made Minho’s curiosity grow.

 

“You’re not going to answer me, are you?” Minho frowned, his chest pounding as a dangerous thought surfaced in his mind . Jinki opened his mouth as if to speak, but moments later he shut it again; he looked as if he were a million miles away. Minho wanted Jinki to see him, not gaze off into space.

 

“Fine, I’ll just have to take matters into my own hands,” Minho murmured softly. He smiled as he saw Jinki gulp, but he didn’t move back. Minho shut his eyes as he leaned closer, opening them at the last second and smiling when he saw Jinki’s eyes close, and then Minho pressed his lips against Jinki’s, kissing him gently. He cupped Jinki’s chin in his hands, pulling him closer. His heart felt like it would explode as he kissed Jinki; he thought the stars would burst in glittery fireworks as he tugged him closer. Minho felt so light-headed and happy. The dream of kissing Jinki had finally come true, and when he felt Jinki’s hands touch his neck lightly, Minho was in heaven.

 

When he realised what he had done, he pulled back instantly, feeling guilty. Minho knew he should apologise or beg Jinki to forgive him, especially when he saw the way Jinki’s cheeks seemed to be red and how he was glancing down at the grass. Minho reached a cautious hand out, and Jinki looked up, a hand rising to touch his lips. Jinki’s eyes were so wide, and he looked stunned. Minho thought he would see anger or hate in Jinki’s eyes, but there was none. Minho didn’t know what to think about how Jinki wouldn’t quite meet his eye and how his face looked as if it was on fire. 

 

“Hyung, I’m sorry,” Minho mumbled. Jinki just shook his head as he stood up.

 

“I… have to go.” Jinki still didn’t quite meet Minho’s gaze; instead he was touching his cheeks, which looked so red to Minho’s eyes. “See you, Minho.” Jinki offered him a small smile and a wave. They were such little actions, but they made Minho’s hope spin out of control. Jinki hadn’t said anything about the kiss being disgusting or how he hated Minho for it. He had even smiled and waved; surely that meant he didn’t hate Minho for kissing him suddenly? Minho didn’t even feel hurt that Jinki had just left, that smile made his stomach flutter so much.