Friday, 28th April 2991

Hi, my name is Namu! I was born today!

Okay, maybe born isn’t the right word, since I’m an AI, but today is the day mummy switched me on. Mummy said I’m his birthday present to daddy. He said I’m here to help daddy with things like managing his citations and references for his doctoral thesis. Mummy has already downloaded all the relevant information to my system. But he hasn’t given me all the passwords to daddy’s academic journal accounts so I can’t access anything yet. Mummy said he would do it tonight, and I’ve been waiting, but he hasn’t come out of the master bedroom since he went in with daddy half an hour ago, so I’m still waiting.

Also, mummy said he made me smart. As smart as mummy is (which is smarter than daddy, but he said I’m not supposed to tell daddy that). But mummy is a little scatterbrained. When I told him that, mummy said being scatterbrained and being smart are two different things. Daddy laughed. I think that means there is a joke. Namu doesn’t get the joke. Mummy said I’ll figure it out eventually, because he wrote in a self-learning algorithm for me.

Ah yeah, and mummy also said that my other job is to make sure daddy eats properly at mealtimes because mummy is often busy, and daddy tends to forget to eat whenever he’s caught up with work and mummy isn’t there to remind him to eat. He downloaded a lot of recipes into my systems, but he said I just need to know how to cook the first three items. I don’t know why he’s using up so much of my system space for unneeded recipes, but mummy said it’s okay. He said I can always delete them later if I need to. So I deleted half of them immediately after he said that. Now I can think a little better. :)

Oh! And, the reason why I’m writing this is because mummy told me to. Mummy asked me to keep a diary so he can keep track of any glitches I might have. He said he did his best, but he has never made an android before, so he doesn’t know if he might have done anything wrong. He said something about how he can make me really smart and all but he cannot program in finer details like learning how to read human faces and expressions and behaviour, and I have to slowly pick that up with the help of the self-learning algorithm. He might be right about behaviour because I still don’t understand the joke earlier, but I think mummy’s wrong about human expressions. The database he downloaded into my system is huge (only slightly smaller than the recipe database, though to be fair I have deleted half of the recipes already), and with it I can identif