AN: i had troye sivan on repeat to write this..... i hope you enjoy!!!! thank you for the subs and comments!!!! i will be trying to reply to some of them!

He ends up sleeping on the floor. Minghao insists, especially when Junhui takes his bed. It feels foolish and like they are children, but Mingyu doesn’t argue. They just pile their extra pillow and blankets onto the floor for the two of them. “I didn’t expect to get home so late,” Minghao says, then yawns. Already, he looks prepared to fall asleep standing in the midst of his sheets. Junhui chuckles at him as he wavers almost drunkenly. Joshua looks somewhat concerned.

“Did he drink enough water?” He asks, peering over the side of Mingyu’s bed.

Mingyu tilts his head back until he’s looking up at Joshua. The bed is just taller than him; if he walked over to it, then he could probably reach Joshua easily. “Yeah, a bottle on the way home and a bottle while we were figuring out the best way to do this.” He answers giving a upside smile to Joshua. It looks somewhat like a disgruntled frown, Joshua thinks. it’s childish, but Mingyu’s bending his back so that he can see him better and it’s the most endearing thing he’s seen. It’s a little silly, but the moment passes just as quickly as it comes and Mingyu is turning around to look at him, rightside up. “Stop worrying about him. He’s just exhausted.”

Atop the other bed comes a soft, sleep-addled voice. “Go to sleep, Hao.”

“I think he’s a step ahead of all of us,” Joshua says, looking past Mingyu at a standing Minghao, who is definitely not fully conscious with his eyes fluttering shut. He wavers and Mingyu lurches forward to catch him before he can fall over. His head lolls to the side as he lazily opens his eyes.

“I’m awake,” he says unconvincingly.

“That’s the problem,” Mingyu shakes his head, feeling like a mom for the first time in awhile. “I’m going to turn the lights off now, alright?” He pauses next to the light switch. “Goodnight,” he says before flipping it. In the brief flicker before the lights go dark, he swears he sees Joshua watching him, gaze soft.

His heart skips a beat.

Minghao whines from the floor, curling up into the blankets. Junhui and Joshua both bid a goodnight back to Mingyu. It feels a lot like they are teenagers again, not adults. He definitely wouldn’t complain if he could get a mini-vacation from all the troubles that being an adult has brought him and has yet to bring him. It feels nice to go back in time. He lays down on the thin pile of blankets that acts as his makeshift bed. Minghao rolls until he’s laying against Mingyu’s side; his lanky limbs misplaced around their bodies. It could always be worse.

--

In the middle of the night, he wakes up without the familiar press of Minghao against his side. A quick investigation comes up with the simple answer: he’s gone rogue from his own idea. He’s more-or-less laying atop Junhui underneath the blanket that he’s stolen from the floor, which has left Mingyu with a blanket that hardly covers his knees and no heat from another body pressing against him. The AC is foolishly on. He almost just lays back down on the floor, but his anxiety ebbs as he shakes Joshua lightly. It doesn’t take much before he’s blearily looking up at Mingyu. His eyes seem to have trouble adjusting to the dark as he keeps blinking, slow. He reaches his hands up to rub his eyes, but then thinks better of it and closes them tightly.

“Can I sleep with you?” Mingyu whispers. It sounds crass, even though it’s innocent. His face turns a bright shade of red and he’s thankful for the dark. Joshua tries to crack an eye open, but fails to successfully keep it open. His expression does not look annoyed though, just confused. “Minghao left the floor and I don’t have a blanket that fits me.”

Joshua makes a noise, then tugs on Mingyu’s shirt. It’s easier than words, but it causes Mingyu’s heart to hammer hard in his ears. He lets Joshua tug on him as he climbs onto the bed, the older male never letting go of him as he finally opens his eyes. Because the bed is so small and Mingyu so massive, he has to throw a leg over Joshua’s waist. If he presses himself against the wall, then he should be able to lay on his side and cuddle up with Joshua so that neither of them fall off the bed onto the pile of pillows below them. He’s about to gently move Joshua over when he realizes that Joshua still hasn’t released the front of his shirt.

In the darkness, their gazes meet. Mingyu swallows hard, tries to focus on the way that Joshua’s eyes shimmer below him. Hovering above him, Mingyu feels much too big for his body. The expression that reflects his is playful where his is nervous. He feels the tugging on his shirt resume, but this time it is not needy or sleep-laden. it is careful. He follows the movement until his nose is brushing against Joshua’s, so close that he can feel his accelerated breathing coming out in shallow gasps against his lips. His arms move from between them until they are coiled around his neck, keeping him there with light pressure. If Mingyu wanted to move, then he could, but he doesn’t. This is a moment that he wants to live in forever.

No words pass between them as he leans down to close the distance.

It’s like wading into the ocean. The first couple of steps induce surprise (at the temperature), uncertainty (should i dive in?). When their lips brush, Mingyu almost bounds away. It is barely a ghosting of lips, but it shocks Mingyu, like electricity. He knows that he should let the kiss happen, eyes shutting gently and hands knowing where to place themselves, but he feels awkward and overwhelmed. His eyes are saucers and when he doesn’t move into or away from the kiss, Joshua cracks an eye open to evaluate the scene. A laugh slips from his mouth which causes him to brush against Mingyu’s suddenly dry lips. It sounds louder than it actually is; he expects Minghao to rustle around in his sheets, always a lighter sleeper than anyone else in the room. “It’s alright,” Joshua cooes, lips brushing against his chin. “Take it slow. We don’t have to rush it. We have… forever,” he breathes out the word and it makes Mingyu believe it.

He nods, letting his eyes slip closed as he moves back down into another kiss. This time, Joshua leans up to meet him; his finger twining in the hair at the nape of Mingyu’s neck. The kiss is slow, neither of them move to deepen it. They press and separate, repeat, trying to get a feel for each other. Joshua’s lips are so soft against his own that his brain feels like it short circuits. He moves without realizing it, taking the upper hand in the kiss as he swipes his tongue against Joshua’s bottom lip. The boy underneath him tightens his grasp within Mingyu’s hair and holds him close. When he opens his mouth to let Mingyu into it, slow and careful and unsure of his actions, he realizes that Jeonghan would consider this rushing things, maybe. Joshua isn’t so sure, especially when he feels Mingyu’s tongue moving against his own. Thinking becomes hard; breathing is equally as difficult. His lungs start to burn, but he doesn’t want to move away.

Mingyu thankfully does, breathing ragged.

Joshua untangles one of his hands, moving to press his fingers again Mingyu’s battered lips. He feels the puffs of breath against his skin, then Mingyu is pressing sweet, chaste kisses to each one of his fingers. Joshua wants to laugh, wants to pull him closer. It feels so foolish to be so happy from such a simple action, but it makes his stomach feel light. His lips tingle from the feeling. “Wow,” Mingyu breathes out. He wants to tilt his head back and laugh at the lightness in his body, at the happiness of the moment, at Mingyu’s disheveled appearance that he can barely make out in the darkness. His eyes glisten in the dark; Joshua ends up pulling him back down, pressing a soft kiss to his forehead, then moving down each side of his face to his nose to his jawline to his chin. Mingyu feels silly underneath his ministrations, but doesn’t want to complain. It’s a good feeling. Joshua pushes against him gently until he moves to where he originally planned to lay, but he doesn’t make him stop there as he switches spots with him until he’s atop him.

There’s an expression on Joshua’s face that Mingyu cannot make out in the darkness, then he ducks his head until his lips are peppering kisses against Mingyu’s neck. He makes sure not to or nip at the skin, moving quickly. Mingyu’s skin tingles wherever his lips touch. He drops down to his collarbones, but stops there. “Can I…?” He tugs on the hem of his shirt. Mingyu’s eyes get big as his breath escapes him (and he’s not ready for things to be moving this fast, but he’s sitting up to take his shirt off). Joshua gives him a gentle smile that breaks the sharp anxiety boiling in Mingyu’s stomach. He continues his path along his collarbones until he’s kissing down Mingyu’s sides, across his stomach, pressing against his belly button, touching along his hip bones, running down his arms, lingering on his shoulders, caressing his hands, fingers, fingertips. Then he backs off, moving so that Mingyu can lay how he had wanted to since he asked to share the bed. His shirt had been dropped off the bed, forgotten, and instead of getting it, he simply curled up underneath the blanket that Joshua covered him with, moving back until they were pressed flush together. Mingyu holds him carefully, skin feeling like it’s glowing, singing. He hears Joshua hum to himself quietly, content.

“I think you are beautiful,” Joshua says when Mingyu feels himself being lulled asleep again. He wants to respond, but finds it to be incredibly difficult when he can’t even keep his eyes open. The noise that slips out of his mouth is supposed to let him know that he’s heard him. He doesn’t know if he agrees that he’s beautiful; he knows he isn’t ugly, but he has his own worries about his looks. His skin in general is a topic of discussion here and there, but Joshua doesn’t seem to mind any of it. He presses a lingering kiss against the palm of Mingyu’s hand before Mingyu falls asleep. The happiness that he’s holding is something he’ll never let go of.

--

Ideally, he’d prefer to be woken up with a few polite words, maybe a gentle shake if talking to him doesn’t work, but when Minghao’s first drives itself into his side, he feels like this may be the worst way he’s ever woken up. “What the hell?” He exclaims, causing Joshua to look over his shoulder and up at him. He’s half-dressed, standing before the mirror. Minghao gestures to him erratically and then pulls his fist back to hit Mingyu again. “Wait, stop, stop..!” Mingyu shouts, holding his hands up to protect himself, blanket sliding off of his chest.

“We had a deal,” Minghao says, and he immediately thinks that he’s referring to the floor.

“Yeah, but you did it first,” he retorts, still hiding his face behind his hands that are left up in order to try to pacify Minghao who is much too angry about something that wasn’t a big deal.

He turns red in the face, looking away from Mingyu as he puffs out his cheeks. “No,” he says as though that’s the final answer on that subject. “I hate not done it at all, you punk! I understand you met your soulmate and you want to get to know each other, but not while I’m here sleeping..! Save yourself until… we are out of the room or something…!” It looks like this is hard for Minghao; the whole conversation is too awkward and somehow his face is growing redder with every passing second that he has to fumble for words.

“Oh!” It clicks for Mingyu. “We didn’t…!”

Minghao holds a hand up. “I don’t want to know how far you didn’t go.”

“Awkward…” Junhui says from the chair, spinning around in dizzying circles while Mingyu tries to fight off Minghao who is still trying to throw punches. Joshua chuckles, throwing his shirt on quickly, then leaning against the door.
 

“We didn’t do anything, Minghao,” Joshua speaks up at last. Mingyu breathes out a sigh of relief as Minghao’s attention is flung towards Joshua. “He took his shirt off because he was hot.” Mingyu watches as Minghao visibly calms down, moving away from Mingyu and his bed. He whispers okay to himself a couple of times before he’s completely over the moment. His face is still red, but Mingyu takes this as his opportunity as he mostly stumbles from his bed to get changed so that he can leave with Joshua instead of being cooped up in the small dorm room with a flushed Minghao for the rest of the day.

--

Seeing each other in the sunlight contrasts harshly with their memories. Joshua holds his arms out, tilting his head up towards the sun and spinning in circles. He feels drunk from last night, but this is a different type of feeling than one he’s ever had. There’s no hangover coming to beat his head in, instead it’s blinding happiness, just like the sunlight that he’s reaching for now. Other students strolling around the campus cast glances at him, but Mingyu doesn’t even care what they might look like to others right now. His arms encircle Joshua’s waist, surprising the shorter male who twists in his grasp until he can move a stray piece of Mingyu’s hair away from his forehead. Then he presses a quick kiss to the corner of his mouth.

Then his phone rings.

--

“Wh...What…?” says Joshua. His voice wavers between excitement and skepticism as he stands in Hansol’s living room with Mingyu at his elbow like his own personal comfort animal. Seungcheol and Jeonghan are standing in front of him, looking jetlagged. Jeonghan’s glasses lay crooked on the end of his nose meanwhile Seungcheol looks like he’s about to fall asleep right then and there. Joshua’s gaze cannot stop drifting to Jeonghan’s left hand. The golden band is inconspicuous, so much that neither Hansol nor Mingyu had noticed it.

Seungcheol thinks that his words are what is causing Joshua’s distress. Tiredly, he brings a hand to Joshua’s shoulder (missing at first). “We’re staying here while we decide on a place for ourselves,” he repeats, which everyone in the room understands… clearly.

Joshua repeats himself, “What?”

Hansol and Mingyu exchange a look tinged with confusion. Shouldn’t he be happy they are here? It seems to say. Hansol shrugs, returning his attention to whatever awaited him in the kitchen. Jeonghan sighs, finally picking up on Joshua’s the context behind Joshua’s question. “We’re getting married,” he says, yawning. Mingyu thinks the whole scene lacks the excitement that he would expect from this news. Joshua’s expression flickers momentarily as though he’s not sure how to express himself after gaining this information.

“Really…?” He asks. “This isn’t a joke again?”

Seungcheol laughs, looking remarkably like a father surprised that his son had to ask for clarification on such a simple subject. “Yeah, for real.” Mingyu wonders why they would have ever joked about it, especially seeing as they were soulmates. Beside him, Joshua flickers again, but then runs towards Jeonghan, throwing his arms around him in boundless excitement.

It catches Jeonghan off guard and they both tumble to the ground, laughing.

“Congratulation,” Mingyu says in English, bowing. Hansol echoes him from the other room.

--

The jet-lagged, newly engaged couple asks to be excused so they can sleep, so Mingyu and Joshua duck out to catch a late breakfast, bordering on brunch. They walk hand-in-hand towards the familiar cafe on campus. “I’m glad they are here…” Joshua says quietly, finally breaking the silence between them. Mingyu smiles gently.

“I am too. I hope I can get to know them.” To himself, he sounds awfully formal about the situation, but Joshua doesn’t pick up on it. He nods, flashing Mingyu a smile.

“They’ve been with me through everything,” he says which causes Mingyu to remember the helpless thoughts of a teenager stranded in his mind, but before he can bring it up, Joshua’s changed the subject naturally. “They’ve known each other for so long. It’s so weird to know a soulmate pair for most of their life, usually they aren’t as close geographically as Jeonghan and Seungcheol, but they were born in the same towns. Jeonghan found him pretty easily too because they were in the same class and Seungcheol, even from a young age, had some airtime at this local radio station and that Jeonghan listened to often.” He shakes his head. Mingyu can hardly believe it either, but crazier things have happened. That would always be their go-to whenever anyone heard anything weird about a soulmate pair. In every case, there has always been something that’s more odd than the previous case.

In comparison, Mingyu’s case feels normal. He reasons that as a good thing all-in-all.

Mingyu squeezes Joshua’s hand, then releases it to hold the door open for him. It feels sickeningly like they are a couple after last night, but Mingyu isn’t quite sure what they are. Clearly, they are soulmates, but that’s as far as they have anything figured out. At the very least, Joshua is a friend like Soonyoung or Seokmin, but a friend that he enjoys kissing and gives him butterflies? He wonders if Jihoon ever gives Seokmin butterflies. “Thanks,” Joshua says, waiting in the doorway for Mingyu to follow after them. Both of them shed their windbreakers and move to find a table that’s nestled near a window.

They order. Joshua points out some dogs that are being walked past the window. Small talk is passed between them, but Mingyu cannot stop thinking about the press of their lips. Unconsciously, he presses his fingers to his lips. Joshua raises an eyebrow at his actions, nose wrinkling as he laughs. “First kiss?” he asks.

“Yeah,” Mingyu says from behind his hand.

Joshua’s gaze softens. “Me too.”

Which surprises both of them, considering they had thought that the other had definitely at least kissed other people before. Joshua is silent for awhile before his brow knits together. “Huh…” He whispers. “Didn’t you date a girl or two back when we hadn’t met?” The question is innocently posed, but Mingyu flounders for a moment.

“Uh, yeah… It didn’t work out. I was… worried about you for… awhile.” He answers, knowing that his answer might cause Joshua to shut the conversation down.

He nods slowly in response. “Ah…” It seems to make sense for him too, now that it is on the table. “I’m sorry that I saddled you with unnecessary anxieties that weren’t your own.”

It’s Mingyu’s turn to smile, flashing him a bright, toothy smile. “We’re two halves of the same soul… Nothing’s unnecessary about it. I know I’ve given you things to think about that you probably wouldn’t have wondered about otherwise. I know I had my fair share of shared anxieties between us.”

A small smile graces Joshua’s lips in response, but he turns his gaze down to his coffee, suddenly finding it more interesting than the conversation. Mingyu’s words are warm and wrap around him, but he still feels the weight of dumping so much on the other boy. For years, Joshua had been within his own sadness. Now, happiness was sitting across from him, but he didn’t have the heart to take it. He knew that he couldn’t ask that of anyone, not even Mingyu. Happiness shouldn’t be a person for him. It should be a thing he shares.

He grasps his coffee cup too hard and burns his hands.

He’s thankful Mingyu’s there to rinse his hands off in the bathroom with cold water as tears stream down his face. It keeps happening and Joshua doesn’t know what to do about it. The tears keep coming even when he no longer feels like crying. The sobs wrack against his insides, bouncing of his ribs and he almost doubles over from the effort that he’s putting into crying. Mingyu’s hands are gentle and sure as they take care of the burn (which is not the source of Joshua’s tears). He opens his mouth to say something to Joshua, but then closes it again. He lets him cry because sometimes that’s the best option.

When he’s done, he holds him tightly against his chest and lets him know that it’s safe here, in the cafe’s dingy, poorly lit bathroom.

--

Mingyu walks Joshua home, as he usually does now.

“I appreciate it,” Joshua says, wrapping his jacket around himself tightly. “We should breakfast tomorrow if you are free.” Later, when they are closer to Hansol’s place, he says. Mingyu nods. It doens’t feel awkward, but for some reason, they remain quiet beside one another as they walk. Their hands touch, two fingers intertwined together. Their hearts beat no faster than normal, but this is still a form of happiness that Joshua envelopes himself in. The quiet, the feeling, all of it makes him feel safe and loved in a way that Jeonghan cannot supply.

Mingyu kisses his forehead before leaving.

--

“I won’t ever lie to you again,” comes Seungkwan’s voice. It’s gentle, floating underneath the crack in Hansol’s door. Hansol can’t stand to look him in the face currently, so this was his genius solution to the issue at hand. He can tell that Seungkwan is pressing his whole body against the door. Hansol wants to knock the door down too, to hug Seungkwan to his chest, but he knows that that won’t address the issues. His timeline sits on his bedside table with the words Met Seungkwan underneath Orientation. It’s underlined from before he knew Seungkwan was his soulmate. He had done it because it was a remarkable event.

They had quite literally run into each other: Hansol on his longboard, Seungkwan with an encyclopedia-sized book tucked underneath his arm and headphones in his ears. Hansol had tried to swerve, had tried to call out to him, but in the end, they were just a mess of angry red limbs on the concrete. Seungkwan had been red-faced, embarrassed and angry at the same time. Hansol had apologized, then explained that he tried to call out to him but headphones! and Seungkwan had tried to walk away without his book.

Neither of them know how they became friends from that, but they had, easily. Arguments were nothing to them. If they argued, then they could forgive each other. Solutions were easily found, except to this argument. This argument had culminated over a year. “How do I know that?” Hansol replies, sounding exhausted, which he is. He hasn’t been able to sleep properly since the  discovery was made. Seungkwan bangs a body part against the door.

“Can I just see you?” He whines.

“No,” is Hansol’s firm answer.

Seungkwan makes another noise, hits the door again in frustration. “I love you, Hansol.”

It doesn’t sound fake, and Hansol knows that Seungkwan loves him. It’s too bad that he cannot say those words back until he knows that Seungkwan won’t just end up hurting him again. His trust has been messed with, even if he understands Seungkwan and why he did it… it still hurt him. His grades had suffered; his mental health had suffered, but Seungkwan was going to stay silent on the subject until who knows when. Hansol doesn’t want to ask.

“When were you going to tell me?” He asks anyway.

Seungkwan is silent for too long. Hansol thinks that he’s left, but then he hears his answer, quiet and shy. “I don’t know.” It makes Hansol want to leave the door closed forever. He pulls his sheets up over his head and turns away from it, ignoring whatever Seungkwan had to say. After a couple minutes, he turns his music on and loud so he can no longer make out whatever Seungkwan is trying to say to him through the door.

--

When he leaves his room the next morning, Seungkwan is sleeping in front of his door.

Wonwoo raises his eyebrow as he steps over him. “Morning,” he says quietly, then ducks into the kitchen where Hansol can hear Soonyoung singing to some catchy song playing over the radio. Seungkwan moves, but doesn’t awaken which adds proof to the claim that Seungkwan sleeps like a rock sometimes. Hansol bends down to try to wake him up, gaze softening.

“Uh… did you kill him?” Joshua says from behind him, causing him to jump, hitting Seungkwan in the process. Seungkwan groans, rolling over onto his stomach to hide from his attacker and Joshua stifles laughter as he steps over the scene of the crime that he just assisted in.

Soonyoung peeks out from the kitchen, apron wrapped around his waist comically, spatula in hand. "You want some pancakes?"