aka Coward

 

 

 

 

 

“Black – having the very dark color of coal or the night sky”

 

---

 

 

 

 

 

 

It was recess and bunch of kids were playing at the school’s playground. One particular little girl was playing on the swings. Swinging it back and forth as far as her little legs could take her. She was swinging happily, when someone approach her. She felt herself tense up.

 

It was the school bully. And he was glaring at her. She felt scared of the older kid.

 

Next thing she knows, she was pushed off the swings and the bully was now on the swings where she was seated earlier.

 

The little girl wasn’t able to do anything since the boy was much bigger and older than her. She sniffles, partly because she didn’t know what to do and partly because she ends up scraping her palms & knees when he pushed her.

 

She stood up and leaves sadly, wincing a bit in pain when something or someone zoomed past her and towards the older kid in the swings.

 

She turns to see one of her classmates, the new kid in class, talking to the bully. Suddenly the older kid rises from the swings and pushed the younger boy. She blinks, seeing that was exactly what happened to her earlier but she didn’t expect the younger boy to stand up and pushed the older back. The older kid became angry, grabs the younger boy by the collar of his shirt and was ready to beat the younger, when one of the older kids playing in the playground calls on a teacher.

 

 

He lets go of the younger and leaves but not before grumbling an “I’ll get you next time, punk!” then the older turns to the little girl and continues “And you’re little girlfriend too!” and the older kid pushes past the little girl, making the younger fall on her .

 

 

The younger boy came up to her and held out his hand in which the little girl took hold of. He helps her to stand.

 

 

“Are you okay?” The boy asks.

“I’m fine, thank you. But what were you thinking? You’re crazy for trying to pick a fight with Seunggoon. He’s the school’s bully.” She tells him.

“Bully or not. What he did was wrong and besides pretty girls like you should never be bullied.” He tells her.

 

The little girl felt shy with his words. “I-I’m not pretty. I’m far from that with my chubby cheeks and all.” She pouts.

 

“You’re pretty and your chubby cheeks make you cute. My mom says anyone who wears a smile on their face is pretty. I saw you smiling earlier before that mean kid pushed you.” The young boy explains.

“Oh!” The little girl manages to say. She was clasping both her hands when the young boy noticed her palms and then he saw her knees.

“You’re hurt!” He exclaims, taking hold of both of her hands. The girl was surprise by the action.

 

He caresses her hand softly and she winces a bit in pain. “I’m sorry. We should get you some band aid or something.” He says.

 

The little girl stares at the boy and smiles. “Thank you.” She says one more time. The little boy just smiles at her.

 

“By the way. I don’t really know your name even though were classmates.” He said shyly.

“My name’s Kwon Soon Young. You can call me Soonyoung.” The little girl introduces.

“Soonyoung.” He repeats the name. “I like your name. It fits you. A pretty name for a pretty girl.” He says with a huge smile.

 

Soonyoung just smiles at him. “Mine’s Wonwoo. Jeon Won Woo.” The boy introduces.

 

“I know that. You introduce yourself to class remember?” She tells him.

“Ah! That’s right!” He smiles and his nose scrunches as well. Soonyoung found that cute.

“Wonwoo.” She calls his name. Said boy turned to her. “Hmm?”

“Nothing. I just wanted to say your name.” She replies.

“Hey~ Soonyoung, do you want to be friends?” He asks her.

“I’d love to be friends!” She replied enthusiastically, smiling brightly at him.

 

They were Seven. Since then the two became closer than ever, they were inseparable.

 

 

 

---

 

 

 

It was summer when an 11 year old Soonyoung was running towards her best friend’s house.

She was welcomed in by his mother and tells her he was in his room.

Soonyoung thanks her and climbs up the stairs to Wonwoo’s room. She knocks then slowly opens the door. She saw Wonwoo was on the floor near his bed, reading one of his books. She squints and saw the title. ‘The Little Prince’ she smiles and slowly comes up to him.

 

 

“Wonwon-ah! Happy Birthday! We’re finally the same age.” She greets him with a huge smile.

 

 

Wonwoo looks up from his book and stares at a smiling Soonyoung.

 

 

“Thanks Soonsoon-ah~” He replies back with a small smile. But then he notices she was hiding something behind her back.

 

 

Soonyoung noticed Wonwoo’s gaze and smiled cheekily. “Guess what I’m hiding behind my back?”

 

Wonwoo looks at her and shakes his head in her antics. “Hmm… Since it’s my birthday today. I assume, a gift?” He tells her.

 

 

“Ding Dong Daeng.” She says. “Here you go. Happy Birthday Wonwon~” She greets once more as she handed him a messily wrapped gift.

 

 

He still smiled at the effort. “Thanks Soon. You didn’t really need to get me a gift though.” He tells her.

 

 

“Don’t thank me yet. Open it up first! Then you can thank me.” She tells him, her voice rising, full of excitement.

 

 

She was more excited than he was and it wasn’t even her birthday.

 

 

Wonwoo knew Soonyoung too well; he knows she won’t stop till she gets what she wants. And so he opens her gift hoping Soonyoung didn’t give him anything weird. He opens it to see a book. Not just any book, but the book he’s been dying to have but didn’t have the money to afford it and he’s parents always declining to buy it for him, knowing it was expensive.

 

 

“Soonyoung… This is… This is…” Wonwoo was speechless and just stared at his best friend, who was just smiling at him.

“Do you like it?” Soonyoung asks cheekily.

“Like it? I love it! But how did you—” He was cut off by her.

“I’m your best friend. Of course I’d know what you like.” She tells him.

“I know that. But how’d you managed to afford it?” He asks her.

“Well… That’s a secret.” She teases him.

“You didn’t steal it did you? Or worst, borrowed it from someone and never plan on returning it.” Wonwoo says in shock.

 

Soonyoung knocks his head. “Yah! Don’t you trust me? I’ll never do anything of the sorts. I bought that with my own money, you crazy Wonton.” She tells him feigning annoyance at his words.

 

Wonwoo chuckles. “I was just playing with you Soon. Don’t be mad.”

 

“Well it wasn’t funny. Then again… when were you ever funny?” She retorts back.

“Ouch! That actually hurts. And you said it on my birthday too.” Wonwoo feigns hurt.

“Hmph!” Soonyoung tries to ignore him. But then breaks into sudden laughter, Wonwoo joining along.

“You were always terrible in pretending to be angry. You never get angry.” Wonwoo says.

“I know. But it doesn’t hurt to try.” She shrugs it off.

 

 

Wonwoo smiles at his best friend and gives her a tight hug. “Thanks again for the gift. You’re the greatest friend ever!”

 

Soonyoung was taken aback by the skinship but hugs him back smiling as well. “Correction. I’m the greatest and coolest ‘Best Friend’ ever!” Soonyoung corrects whilst being squeezed by Wonwoo.

 

 

“What would I do without you Soonsoon? I could never live without you.” Wonwoo says, not letting go of the hug.

 

 

Soonyoung felt her cheeks turn from his words yet she tried to brush it off. “I can’t live without you too Wonwon. You’re always there to keep me intact.”

 

 

He smiles again, his nose scrunching up as well. “Want some cake?” He offers.

 

“How’d you know I couldn’t resist cake?” She pretends to be shock. Wonwoo ruffles her hair and scoffs.

“Silly Kwon.” He whispers.

“C’mon lets go down and get some cake.” He tells her.

“Call!” She yells.

 

The two went down, from his room and to the kitchen where Wonwoo’s mother was preparing lunch.

 

 

 

---

 

 

 

They were thirteen. Young but not that clueless.

 

 

 

“Wonwon? Did I do something wrong?” Soonyoung ask; her face full of confusion.

“No. Also can you stop calling me that? Others are misunderstanding us.” Wonwoo simply brushed her off.

 

Soonyoung frowned but she quickly dropped that and gave him a sad smile. “Is that what’s making you upset? The nickname? I’ve been calling you that since we were seven. Why are you suddenly acting as if you hate it?”

 

“Soon. You’re my best friend yet… our friends… They think we like each other.” Wonwoo tells her.

“Don’t we? We’re friends, what’s so wrong about that?” She asks him.

“No. You don’t understand. They think I like-like you. I don’t want people to talk about us that way.” He tells her, trying to make her understand.

 

 

Soonyoung fell silent for awhile, her expression unreadable.

 

 

“I get it… Sorry. I’ll try to be more mindful from now on.” She replies sadly. Wonwoo didn’t mean to make Soonyoung sad. He was just trying to be careful.

“I don’t hate you, you know. I just don’t want anyone to think of us in such a way. We’re friends. Best friends. That won’t change, right?” He tries to reassure her.

 

She smiles. “Of course. After all what would you do without me?” She chuckles. He didn't realize she was forcing it.

 

 

Wonwoo smiles glad to see her smiling again.

 

 

 

---

 

 

 

Wonwoo hasn’t seen Soonyoung for two months ever since she attended that Summer Dance Camp. She even missed his 14^th birthday. It was the first time she ever miss his birthday. But who was he to complain. Soonyoung was doing something she loves and making her summer progressive whereas Wonwoo was lazing around all summer thinking of what to do.

 

 

 

“Soonyoung~ when will your Camp end? I miss hanging out with you. I’m bored.” He sighs not knowing what else to do.

 

 

 

---

 

 

 

Wonwoo’s POV:

 

Finally! The day has come. Soonyoung’s Dance Camp ends today and we could finally hang out.

 

 

I ran as quickly as my feet could take me to Soonyoung’s house which was a few blocks away from mine. There’s so much I have to tell her, ask her. And we’re going to catch up on spending time together and… and…

 

 

 

 

Huh?

 

 

 

 

I saw Soonyoung standing with some guy I’ve never met before. She was smiling and laughing with him.

 

 

 

 

Who was this guy?

 

 

 

 

She turns her head a bit and took notice of me.

 

 

“Wonu~” She calls. “C’me here! I want you to meet someone.” She calls me, face full of smiles.

 

 

I was wary of my steps and slowly approached them. Soonyoung pulls me towards the stranger and now I was face to face with the unfamiliar person, and felt a sudden round of emotions engulfs me.

 

 

“Wonwoo~ This is Wen Jun Hui. Though I just call him Jun. He’s Chinese and I met him back at Dance Camp. He’s a pretty cool guy and get this, he’s quite the trickster.” Soonyoung introduces him cheerfully.

 

 

 

What’s so great about him? He doesn’t seem that special. So what? I could be a trickster as well.

 

 

 

Soonyoung pulls me out of my thoughts.

 

 

 

“And this is my one and only best friend, Jeon Wonwoo. Don’t let his looks fool you. He’s actually a nice guy.” She introduces me.

 

 

 

Best friend. That’s right! I was her best friend whereas this guy, Jun. He’s just someone she met at Dance Camp.

 

 

 

I smirk at the thought. The Chinese boy smiles at me.

 

 

 

“Nice to meet you.” He greets me, extending a hand. I can’t help but listen to his accent. “Soonyoung’s told me a lot about you. You two must really be close.” He continues.

“Yes we are. After all we’re best friends.” I replied a bit arrogantly. I accepted the handshake.

 

 

 

Why was this guy getting on my nerves?

 

 

 

I squeezed his hand tightly making him flinch a bit. He must have notice, but is trying to stay compose.

 

 

 

 

What’s up with this guy?

 

 

 

 

“I’m glad you two met. I hope we can all be great friends. Since Jun’s going to attend the same school as we are.” Soonyoung says happily.

 

 

My eyes widen at that information.

 

 

“What?” I managed to blurt out.

 

 

 

This was not happening. Not when I finally get to hang out with Soonyoung again.

 

 

 

 

---

 

 

 

 

From a duo it became a trio, and Wonwoo isn’t too fond about it.

 

 

 

 

“What’s he doing here?” Wonwoo asks Soonyoung as she approaches him, Jun following behind.

“I invited him over. You don’t mind right?” Soonyoung asks, lips almost pouting.

 

“Well…” She looks at him expectantly and Wonwoo couldn’t deny that Soonyoung was one of his weaknesses.

 

“As long as he doesn’t touch any of my stuffs, especially my books. Then we’re good.” Wonwoo replies with a sigh.

 

Soonyoung beams.

 

“Aww~ I knew you couldn’t resist me. Don’t worry Jun’s not the type of guy to do that. You’re more likely to do that than Jun will.” She tells him cheekily.

 

Wonwoo twitches his right eye with that answer and wanted to scoff.

 

 

 

Just how close was Soonyoung with Jun?

 

 

 

He didn’t want to know as curious as he was and he doesn’t ever want to know.

But one thing’s for sure. Things will never be the same and Wonwoo’s isn’t too fond of that.

 

 

He stares at Soonyoung who has her hands around Jun’s arms pulling him inside Wonwoo’s house. Oh! He was going to regret this.

 

 

 

---

 

 

 

It’s been months since Junhui came waltzing in to Wonwoo and Soonyoung’s life. Soonyoung enjoyed his presence and they seem to be getting closer as time passes yet Wonwoo didn’t want that. He doesn’t even get why he hates the guy in the first place. But for Soonyoung’s sake, he tries his best to get along with Junhui.

 

 

Tic Toc…    

 

 

 

Tic Toc... 

    

 

 

Tic Toc…

 

 

 

Wonwoo hates that stupid clock. And he wants to destroy it, sadly it wasn’t his and he can’t do anything about it. Why was that stupid clock ticking slowly? Why can’t it go any faster?

 

 

 

“Aargh!!!” Wonwoo grumbles as he slams the game console on the table.

“Ah hyung~ If you’re mad about something don’t take it out on my poor console. It did nothing to you.” Mingyu whines at the older, caressing the console as if it was a baby before going back to continue the game.

“Sorry Gyu… My mind’s just not thinking straight right now.” Wonwoo explains and lets out a sad sigh.

 

 

 

That’s right. He was currently at Mingyu’s house playing video games on the latter’s Xbox. But he’s mind and heart was not in it. He’s mind was drifting off to a certain girl, whose currently with the least person he wants her to be with. He was not thinking straight and the younger boy had to bear witness to his hyung stressing out.

 

 

 

“Is it Soonyoung-noona? Did you two fight?” Mingyu asks not even glancing away from his game to stare at the older.

“No!”

 

Wonwoo fell silent.

 

“Maybe… Ah!!! It’s that stupid Junhui’s fault!” Wonwoo complains.

“What the poor guy do this time?” Mingyu was used to Wonwoo’s complain about Jun. He’s met the guy a few times and he didn’t seem all that bad to the younger, so he doesn’t really see why Wonwoo hates him or he pretends not to notice.

“What else? He’s stealing my best friend away from me!” Wonwoo complains more, now slumping in his seat.

 

Mingyu scoffs at that. “Last I heard, you’re the one whose keeping a distance.”

 

 

Wonwoo throws a chip at Mingyu. The younger just brush it aside.

 

 

“Oh c’mon hyung! You’re the one being dramatic about this. It’s not like Jun-hyung intentionally did it.” Mingyu tells him, still playing his game.

“I’m not being dramatic and since when did you call him hyung?!” Wonwoo whines.

“The fact that his older than me as well as Soonyoung-noona brings him along at times we meet. It’s inevitable that we became well sort of friends.” Mingyu replies nonchantly.

“What? Not you too! Ahh!!!” Wonwoo continues to complain. “Soonyoung and I never get to hang out by ourselves since he always tags along.”

“Oh! So he just tags along uninvited, is that it?” Mingyu mentions.

“Well… No. Not really. Soonyoung invites him to hang with us.” Wonwoo replies sadly.

“Oh so he was invited!” Mingyu says.

“Yea… But can’t he just decline Soonyoung’s offer. Why can’t he get it? He’s always there, like always there. I mean, can’t the guy see I want to be alone with Soonyoung and also that I don’t like him anywhere near us. Especially anywhere near Soonyoung.” Wonwoo continues to ramble.

 

 

Mingyu pauses his game and looks at Wonwoo with a knowing smile.

 

 

“I think I know the problem here.” Mingyu starts.

 

 

Wonwoo looks at him, prying the younger to tell him more.

 

 

“You’re jealous.” Mingyu jeers.

 

 

Wonwoo was caught off guard with the younger’s word. Mingyu goes back to his game and continues playing as if he didn’t just said something that made a trigger in Wonwoo’s mind.

 

 

“Me? Jealous? Of Junhui? Like that would ever happen!” Wonwoo sneers.

 

 

The younger just let out a dissatisfied sigh. “You’re so clueless hyung. You two are to be exact.” Mingyu mumbles to himself.

 

 

“Ha! That walking Chinese pole got nothing on me. Why would I be jealous of him?” Wonwoo tries to reassures himself.

“Maybe coz he’s taking all of Soonyoung’s attention from you.” Mingyu taunts.

 

 

That made Wonwoo thinks. Mingyu just shakes his head for his friend’s obliviousness.

 

 

“I’m not jealous of Junhui because of Soonyoung… right?” Wonwoo asks, the question more directed to himself than to Mingyu.

 

 

Mingyu just continues to play with his game ignoring the elder’s question and leaving him to his thoughts.

 

 

 

---

 

 

 

Fast forward to February the next year, Wonwoo realizes.

 

 

He likes his best friend.

 

 

 

She smiled at him, hoping he’d like the chocolates she gave him. Smiling wider, when he gave a reaction. She felt happy. She also smiled after Jun complimented the home made chocolates she gave him as well.

 

And that’s when he realizes. He really likes his best friend. He stares at Jun and notices the way he looks at Soonyoung.

 

 

 

Oh boy!

 

 

 

No wonder, he hates the guy. But he hates himself more for realizing too late.

 

 

 

---

 

 

 

It was past dinner time and evening had fallen, but an 18 year old Soonyoung was running towards her best friend’s house. Face flabbergasted.

 

 

“Won! Wonwoo? Where are you?” Soonyoung yells as she barges in the Jeon’s house. Thankfully Wonwoo’s parents were out.

“Living room.” A deep raspy masculine voice answered.

 

 

Soonyoung followed the source of the voice and sees her best friend, sitting on the couch, reading one of his books, wearing his reading specs.

She stops and admires the way her best friend looks, before remembering why she came in the first place.

 

 

“Wonnie~ I have something to tell you.” Soonyoung says as she sat beside Wonwoo.

“I wonder how important it is that you actually drop by the house instead of just calling or sending me a message.” He asked sarcastically.

Soonyoung huffs. “I’m being serious here Jeon.”

 

 

Wonwoo stops and places a bookmark on the page he was reading before turning and giving Soonyoung his full attention.

 

 

 

Soonyoung takes a breath then looks at Wonwoo in the eye. “Jun asked me to be his girlfriend.”

 

 

 

And that one line was enough to make Wonwoo’s world turn upside down.

 

 

 

 

 

Wonwoo’s POV:

 

I wasn’t sure if I heard right but I think Soonyoung just said what I think she said.

 

 

“He asked me to be his girlfriend. Me, Won. Me!” She repeats.

 

 

So I wasn’t hearing things.

 

 

I cleared my throat, trying to get rid of my initial reaction. And warily asked her. “Did… Did you say yes?”

 

 

 

“No.”

 

 

 

I felt my heart lax at the answer.

 

 

“Not yet. He gave me time to think about it.” She continues.

 

 

 

What?

 

 

 

I stared at her and saw she had a dreamy expression on.

 

I couldn’t help but let my heart skip a beat. She was so mesmerizing. God! If she wasn’t so beautiful… and if she wasn’t my best friend… Perhaps… I could confess to her as well.

 

 

She looks at me. “I wanted to know your thoughts about it. Do you think I should say yes?”

 

 

I stared at her. She…. She was letting me decide.

 

 

“That’s not up to me to decided.” I replied as nonchalant as I can.

“But I want to know what you think.” She replies. “I…. I like Jun.”

 

 

I felt my heart shatter.

 

 

“I like him, but you’re my best friend. I want to know if you’re going to be fine with it. If you don’t like us to be together, then I’ll reject him. I don’t want to do anything that’ll make you feel uncomfortable.” She explains.

 

 

I tried to process her words. She was letting me decide on the outcome of her relationship with Jun. she cares about what I think.

Honestly… I don’t want her to be with Jun. It’s not that I hate the guy. He’s a nice guy, I know that. I’ve realized that a long time ago, it was just because I was jealous of him. But I don’t want her to be with anyone else… but me.

 

 

Soonyoung was looking at me, her eyes expecting an answer. She was gazing at me so intently.

 

 

If I say ‘No’ would she really be happy? Would she be happy with me? Or will I be the reason for her unhappiness. I didn’t want that. And as much as I didn’t want her to be with someone else. I didn’t want to lose her smile. I can’t dare to live, knowing I’m the cause for her to stop smiling.

 

 

So even if it pains me. I’d rather sacrifice my happiness, if it means being able to see her sunshine smile. I can’t live without seeing that every day.

 

 

 

 

What do I do? What should I do?

 

 

 

 

“So? What should I do?” She asks.

 

 

I gave her a smile.

 

 

 

 

 

The next day at school, I saw her walking hand in hand with Junhui. I felt my heart clench at the sight. But this is what I wanted. This is what’s right.

 

 

 

So why does it hurt so much?

 

 

 

They took notice of me and Soonyoung smiled at me. That beautiful smile is taunting me.

 

 

 

 

---

 

 

 

Years have passed that the two best friends haven’t realized they’ve become adults. At the age of 20, where people like them were considered to be finally adults, there were still some unanswered questions, which has been present ever since they were kids. Still waiting to be answered.

 

It was one of those days where Wonwoo visits Soonyoung at her part time job at a café. They were both in college, Wonwoo being a Literature Major whereas Soonyoung was a Music Major. She needed the extra money, to pay for her Dance class expenses, which she minored in.

 

 

Wonwoo comes in trying to surprise the older yet ends up getting surprise himself.

 

 

Soonyoung smiles at him behind the counter, but Wonwoo was left gaping at her.

 

 

“You’re hair…. It’s…. It’s….” Wonwoo couldn’t believe what he sees.

“Does it look that bad? My co-workers said it looks cool. Do you hate it?” Soonyoung asks, a bit worried about his reaction.

“You’re blonde….” That was all Wonwoo could say. He was pretty shock that the pretty black haired girl he knew was now… Blonde.

“Yeah~ Because…. Jun had his hair bleach blonde and I decided to try it too. You know… to match his.” Soonyoung shyly explains.

 

 

 

Wonwoo’s POV:

 

Oh! It was because of Jun. Of course. What was I expecting? It’s always about Jun. It’s Junhui this! Junhui that!

 

 

I’m not saying she doesn’t look good, she’s absolutely stunning but knowing the reason why she did it is what I’m bothered about.

I know I should be over this already. It’s been two years. What am I even waiting for?

 

 

“You look great! So stop fussing about it.” I decided to compliment her and besides she really did look good in blonde hair.

“Thank goodness! I was scared my own best friend would hate it. All the other compliments would be useless if you hated it.” She says, letting out a sigh of relief.

 

 

She’s still cute as ever. I’m glad to know she cared about my opinion. That’s all that matters.

 

 

 

---

 

 

 

He hated this but Soonyoung was bouncing all around from shop to shop, looking for the perfect gift.

 

 

 

Junhui’s birthday was in 2 days which means Soonyoung’s birthday was in 7. And here I am being drag by Soonyoung to all the places she could think of.

 

 

 

“Jun would like this, but it’s too expensive. I can’t afford it.” Soonyoung pouts.

“Ha! Perhaps that Seventeen CD he always wanted to have. He’d love that! Oh! There so many to choose from.” Soonyoung continues to rambles as we passed by another shop.

“Just pick one. I’m sure he won’t mind as long as it’s from you. I sure won’t. Hey~ maybe you shouldn’t give him a gift this year. He’s already receiving a lot from your… anniversaries.” Wonwoo continues a bit bitterly.

“Anniversaries and Birthdays are different. You’d know that if you got yourself a girlfriend.” Soonyoung mentions.

“I have no time to date. The more get into a relationship.” Wonwoo replies.

“Sure. Sure. Let yourself believe that.” Soonyoung teases. “I mean c’mon… you’re handsome. Lots of girls like you. There’s even that one girl who I thought you’d end up with, Mina was it. She was pretty too. You two would have made such a great couple.” Soonyoung adds.

“I don’t think so. She was pretty yea. But I don’t think we would have click.” Wonwoo replies.

 

 

 

‘Coz she’s not you Soonyoung.’ He thinks sadly.

 

 

 

“You’re just making excuses Won… Oh! This is it! It’s perfect!!!” She tells him off but was quickly distracted by something.

 

 

Wonwoo sees her pick up a pair of shoes. They were a pair of black converse. His favorite.

 

 

“He’s going to like this. I wonder if they have it in his size.” Soonyoung smiles happily, she turns to one worker who helps her out.

 

“Woah! I’m quite lucky they still have it in his size. And it’s the last one too.” Soonyoung says cheekily.

 

 

Wonwoo smiles at her.

 

 

 

 

He’s lucky to have you.

 

 

 

---

 

 

 

By the age of 23, Soonyoung get her heart broken for the first time.

 

 

Soonyoung was crying; crying her heart out for months now. It’s been 3 months, three painful months since Jun broke up with her. She tries to move on but it’s hard.

 

Jun left her just like that, not even explaining himself. She knew it was bound to happen. They’ve been having fights. Nonsensical fights, if you were to ask her. But she didn’t want it to end like this.

 

But she was stuck and lost and currently broken hearted. She felt so lonely without him; lucky for her, Wonwoo was there by her side.

 

 

 

Wonwoo’s POV:

It’s been 6 months since Jun and Soonyoung broke up. Soonyoung’s looking better now. She doesn’t cry anymore. But I can still see her turning sad whenever Jun’s name is mentioned. We haven’t heard from him since then. Minghao says he went back to China, to visit his family.

 

I hope he stays there! After all the pain he made Soonyoung go through. I’ll be glad if he doesn’t come back at all.

 

Though I don’t exactly know the reason why they broke up, I have no plans on asking. Soonyoung deserves to be happy and I thought Junhui was going to give her that but he made me think differently.

 

 

Now I’m going to make sure Soonyoung will never be sad again. I hated seeing her so depressed and so lifeless. I don’t ever want to see that again.

 

 

 

 

In the past few months the two were inseparable. Soonyoung was smiling again, because of Wonwoo. They both knew there was something lingering in the air. They both were falling for the other, much harder than before.

 

Wonwoo knew. Those smiles, the secret glances. He somehow knew that Soonyoung…. She likes him.

 

Heck! They’re friends knew. It was evident on both of their faces; the others even thought they were dating already. And he was glad to know they’re friends were supportive. And so he promises to himself he would confess to her soon, when the time is right.

 

 

 

 

“I’m going to tell Soonyoung what I feel about her.” Wonwoo says out of the blue.

 

 

 

He was currently at Seungcheol’s house, preparing for a house warming party.

 

 

 

“Oh! But I thought you two were already together?” Seungcheol mentions.

“Me too Oppa. I thought you and Soonyoung-unnie were already dating. I mean from the way you two look at each other, I would have assumed that you were already a thing.” Chan says in surprise. She tucks a strand of her hair behind her ear.

 

 

“Hansol-oppa~ Help me out here.” Chan calls to the older boy as the latter approaches her and helps push aside the couch to make space.

 

 

 

“Wait… You thought we were dating already?” Wonwoo asks in surprise.

 

 

 

They nod.

 

 

“Oh c’mon guys! You already know that Wonwoo hyung’s too scared to confess to Soonyoung-noona. Even if the answer was already in front of him.” Mingyu mentions, as he places the food on the table.

 

 

“I’m not scared!” Wonwoo retorts.

“If you say so… But you better tell her soon or you won’t be able to confess to Soonyoung-noona in time.” Mingyu says.

“What do you mean by that?” Wonwoo asks, not knowing where the younger was going this.

“Your fear will overtake you.” Mingyu simply answers. But there was something in the way he said it. As if… there was a deeper meaning behind it.

 

 

 

---

 

 

 

Just when everything was going well… Just when Wonwoo was finally ready to confess to Soonyoung… Junhui suddenly comes back to the picture.

 

 

 

 

Wonwoo goes to visit Soonyoung at the café. He was going to confess to her today. He was full of confidence that before the day ends, Soonyoung will officially become his.

 

So he was taken back when he saw a very familiar figure at the café, talking to Soonyoung. There were tears on her face, but Wonwoo wasn’t quite sure what those tears meant. But he knew it meant something.

 

Wonwoo came home that day. He was lying on the couch thinking of the happening earlier.

 

 

 

Wonwoo’s POV:

 

 

I wonder what happened. Why is he back?

 

 

 

Why was Freaking Wen Junhui back in Korea?!

 

 

 

 

 

 

Knock. Knock.

 

 

 

 

 

I let out a sigh and opened to see who was at the door. I opened to see…

 

 

“Soonyoung….”

 

 

She looks at me, with a small smile.

 

 

“Can I come in?” She asks warily.

 

 

I let her in to my apartment. We both walked in to the living room and sat on the couch.

 

She took hold of my hand and gazes at me.

 

 

“Wonwoo…” She started off. “Jun’s back.” She says.

 

 

I knew that. I know he’s back, but I didn’t want to think badly about it.

 

 

“So I’ve heard.” I replied.

 

 

She held on to my hand tighter, and looks at me with sad eyes.

 

 

“He wants me back Won.” She tells me.

 

 

I felt my hand tighten in her hold. No! This wasn’t happening.

 

 

“Do… Do you want to go back to him?” I ask.

 

 

She bit her lip and turned away from me, her hold loosening.

 

 

“I… I don’t know.” She replied, a sad tone evident in her voice.

 

 

I looked at her, feeling my heart clenched.

 

 

“Soon… Do you… Do you still love him?” I hated myself for asking this question. But I wanted to know.

“I’m sorry.” She says, tears falling from her eyes.

 

 

I took my hand from her hold.

 

 

“What about me? What about the past few months? Did they mean nothing to you?” I asked her, trying to control the emotions rising up.

“They do! They mean so much to me. I swear they do. But Jun…. He… He…” I didn’t even let her finish.

“What about me Soon?! What about me? I thought we had something?” I asked; tears were now falling from my eyes.

“I don’t even know what we are anymore Won. I’m no longer sure what all those touches, those glances, those smiles mean. I don’t know. I thought I did. I thought I was over him, but I… I think I still love him.” She replies, crying as well.

“Why did you lead me on?” I cry.

“I didn’t mean to. I’m sorry. I’m really sorry.” She apologizes one more time.

 

 

I tried to be angry. I wanted to be angry at her. But I knew all along.

 

 

“Please leave… I want to be alone right now.” I told her, not sparing her a glance.

 

 

I felt her standing up.

 

 

“I’m really sorry Wonwoo…. I hope you could forgive me. I don’t want to lose you. We’re best friends, aren’t we?” She says before leaving.

 

 

 

 

Best Friend.

 

 

I hated that word! I hated that status! I hated… that it’s the only thing we’ll ever be.

 

 

 

At the age of 24, Wonwoo almost lost his best friend.

 

 

 

 

 

 

“I thought I had a chance with her. I thought she felt the same.” He cried.

“I’m sorry to hear that hyung.” Mingyu pats the elder’s back.

 

 

 

Of course… All they’re friends did all that they could to make the two reconcile with each other again. And as much as Wonwoo tried to ignore her, he couldn’t. He couldn’t dare to break contact with his best friend. She was still important to him.

 

So after almost a year of pretending the other doesn’t exist. They made up. They were friends after all. But Wonwoo couldn’t stop the bile from rising whenever he sees Soonyoung and Junhui together. Happy. He still wishes it could have been him.

 

 

 

 

---

 

 

 

 

Everything was well again. Wonwoo and Soonyoung were friends again. Yet Soonyoung and Jun were also back together, stronger than before.

 

Wonwoo wasn’t able to hang out with the others, especially with Soonyoung for the past few months. He was busy trying to finish his first novel. He was a writer. That was his job, and after years of looking and waiting. He finally found himself a publishing company.

 

Lee Ji Hoon, his publisher was a small but very intimidating person. And she was on his tail to finish the manuscript in two weeks. Lucky for him, he was on the last chapter of his novel and after that, freedom.

 

 

Funny, how Jihoon always nags him about his work, making him redo everything when she sees a mistake, no matter how small it is. But then again he was thankful for the younger, if he hadn’t met her by accident, he would have never gotten to have his book publish. She was a Music major, before shifting to Business and eventually taking up Literature which landed her the job of becoming a publisher. He was thankfulm to have met her and forming an unlikely friendship.

 

 

Wonwoo stretches his sore arms and fingers. He was finally done. He sends the manuscript to Jihoon, and hope for the best.

 

 

 

He left his room and went to his kitchen to make some, long awaited breakfast. When there was a knock on his door.

He moves aside and walks towards the door.

 

 

 

Who was here this early?

 

 

He opened his door to see, Soonyoung standing there. Her long blonde hair now cut short to a bob. He doesn’t remember how long it’s been since he last saw her, but she was beautiful more than ever.

 

 

“Wonu~ Long time no see.” She starts, bright smile evident on her face.

 

 

And here you could clearly see the difference. Whilst Soonyoung was all bright and sunny, Wonwoo look half dead and gloomy, and obviously lacks sleep. But he let her in anyway. She’d seen worst.

 

 

“I didn’t expect you to visit.” He tells her.

“Jihoon called saying you finally finish your book. Thought, I drop by since it’s been too long since I last saw you. I missed you.” She tells him.

 

 

Wonwoo smiles at that.

 

 

Soonyoung enters and saw the box of cereal and milk on the kitchen counter.

 

 

“You should really eat more. You’ve gone thin.” She says in worry.

“Thanks for the concern. But I’m perfectly fine.” He replies.

“Let me make you breakfast. You haven’t eaten yet, right?” She says, as she enters the kitchen and opens the fridge, looking for some decent food to make.

“There’s really no need for that Soon. I can cook my own breakfast.” He tells her as he takes the pack of kimchi she was holding on.

“Nope! I’ll cook for you. For old time sake. And besides… you look like you need some sleep. Go rest. I’ll wake you up once I finish cooking.” She tells him and takes the kimchi from his hands. “But Soon…”

“Go! Rest. Don’t worry. I won’t burn your kitchen. I’m not fifteen anymore.” She pushes him out of the kitchen.

 

 

Wonwoo laughs at the memory when they were in middle school and Soonyoung trying to make him waffles and pancakes but almost burning his house.

 

 

“You better not.” He teases.

“Out!” She whines.

 

 

Wonwoo rests. When he wakes up half an hour later, Soonyoung was entering his room with a tray of food and orange juice.

 

 

 

She places the food beside him and grins.

 

 

 

“Wow! Breakfast in bed? You shouldn’t have.” He teases.

“Oh stop it! C’mon, eat up.” She says moving the plate closer to him.

 

 

 

He picks up the chopsticks and took some bacon. Soonyoung just watches him eat.

 

 

He stops and looks at her.

 

 

 

“Why do I have an odd feeling that you didn’t come here just to make me breakfast? Spill!” He orders her.

 

She smiles sheepishly. “Yea, you’re right. I came to talk you actually.”

 

“Speak.” He commands, now taking a bite of the omelet.

 

 

 

She seats at the edge of his bed near him.

 

 

 

“Jun proposed to me.” She says straightforwardly.

 

 

 

 

That’s the thing with Soonyoung, she was always so direct. And so Wonwoo wasn’t so surprise.

 

Startled; yes. But he knew it was going to happen sooner or later, unfortunately, it came sooner.

 

 

 

“I supposed you said yes?” He mentions. But he stops eating, suddenly losing appetite.

“No. I didn’t give him an answer yet. I wanted to tell you first. I wanted to know your thoughts about it.” She replies.

“And Jun was fine with this?” He asks.

 

She nods.

 

“Or at least he pretends to be fine with it.” She forces a laugh at that.

“You’re important to me and I wanted to let you know and help me decide.” She says, gazing intently at him.

 

 

Wonwoo stares into her eyes. It was clear to him; she already had an answer. She was just waiting for his confirmation.

 

 

“You know… Seven years ago, you ask me the same thing. You asked me to help you decide. But deep down inside, I knew… You already have your answer.” He tells her.

“I’m thankful for your consideration, but I don’t think I have the right to make this decision for you. It’s clearly up to you to decide Soon.” He continues.

“I know. I just wanted to make some things clear.” She replies, with a small smile.

 

 

He looks at her.

 

 

“Whatever makes you happy… I’ll go with it.” He tells her with a smile.

 

 

 

But deep down, he was still hurting but he was thankful she thought about his reaction towards it.

 

 

 

 

At the age of 25, Kwon Soonyoung got engaged to Wen Junhui.

 

 

 

---

 

 

 

Everything was ready. Everything was settled. Everything and everyone was preparing for this special occasion.

 

It was Autumn, leaves were turning golden brown and the weather was starting to get cold, but that didn’t matter. It was perfect. The perfect time to get married.

 

 

 

 

 

It was September and it was the perfect month…. It was the month Soonyoung and Jun got together.

All their family and friends were gathered, greeting and talking to each other. Soonyoung’s family was there, so was Jun’s, whose family came all the way from China to commemorate this special day.

 

 

 

 

 

Soonyoung was nervous she felt butterflies in her stomach and wanted to puke. She was alone, seated on the bed in the hotel where her wedding was going to be held. Again, she was nervous but she was careful. She needed someone, she needed her best friend.

 

A knock was heard, and then the door slowly opens revealing a tall, pale good-looking guy approaching her, concern written all over his face. He was wearing a suit and tie, and he never looked more handsome.

 

 

 

 

 

“Soon~ Are you okay? Chan told me you wanted to see me.” He tells her.

 

 

 

“Wonwon~” He stops and his eyes widen. It’s been so long since she last called him that.

 

 

 

“I’m scared.” She says voice shaking.

 

 

 

 

Wonwoo’s POV:

 

I approached Soonyoung and hugged her tightly. She hugged me back, hands shaking.

 

 

“Shh… There. There. What are you afraid of?” I tried to calm her. She buries her head at the crook of my neck, I felt her tears spilling.

“I’m scared of what’s to come. What if I made the wrong decision? What if this wasn’t what I wanted? What if Jun wasn’t the one? What if I become a terrible wife and he’ll regret ever marrying me.” She voices out, almost choking on her words.

“This is what you wanted, right? And don’t worry… You’ll be a great wife and… an even better mother.” I tried to reassure her, trying so hard not to gag on the last few words I said.

“You really think so?” She asks. Looking up to me.

“I know so.” I replied.

 

 

She breaks off from the hug.

 

 

“Wonwon~ I wanted to ask you something for a long time now.” She says; I turn to face her.

“Did you ever do something that you regret or perhaps wishes you could have done something that you won’t regret? If you could go back to the past… Would you have done something to change it?” She gazes at me intently.

“What’s there to regret? I met you and you became my best friend. Why would I change that?” I replied to her.

“What if I wasn’t your best friend? What if we met at another time? What if we haven’t met at all? Would our relationship still be the same as today?” She asks back.

 

 

I paused.

 

 

 

Why was she asking me these questions?

 

 

 

I processed her words before giving her an answer.

 

 

 

 

“Even if I didn’t help you back then. I’m sure we would have met one way or another. We would still become friends and… our relationship would have remained the same.” I told her, with a smile.

 

She looks at me before she gave me a smile. “I see. I get it now. Thanks for answering me.” She tells me. I was confused what she meant by that.

 

“Wonwon~ You know I can’t live without you right? You know I’ll always be by your side, right?” She tells me, I nod to all of that.

“I’m lucky to have met you and to have you as a best friend. I love you Wonwoo… Thank you for always being there for me.” She tells me. I was taken aback by her words.

“I’m luckier to have you Soonsoon… I don’t know what I’d do without you.” Her eyes widen.

“It’s been so long since you called me that.” She smiles.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

I love you Soonyoung…

 

 

 

 

 

 

Those wore the unspoken words I wanted to tell you, but I can’t.

 

 

 

---

 

 

 

Wonwoo watches as Soonyoung walks in her wedding gown, looking the most beautiful he’s ever seen her. He turns to his right and sees Jun staring at her. He could tell he was nervous yet he was very much happy.

 

He wanted to wipe that smile off his face. He wanted to be the one to look at Soonyoung that way. He should have been the one standing where Junhui was, not as the best man. He should have been the one marrying his best friend, not watching his best friend get married to some other guy.

 

He was having such thoughts as the ceremony goes on. He wanted to hold on to Soonyoung, pull her away from Jun and ran away from all of this. But as the ceremony continues, he looks at her. For a moment, he saw her glance at him, giving him the most honest and most beautiful smile he’d ever seen.

 

 

 

She was happy, the happiest she’d ever been.

 

 

 

He didn’t want to ruin that. So he push all pessimistic thoughts aside and just continued to stare at Soonyoung’s smiling face, who was now facing Jun.

 

 

They exchange vows. They said their ‘I do’s’. They shared a kiss in front of family & friends.

 

 

 

 

 

Click!

 

 

 

 

 

It has become apparent to him; Soonyoung was now married to Jun.

 

 

 

---

 

 

 

 

Everyone was enjoying the reception. The bride and groom were walking around the room, greeting and thanking the people who have come to give them blessing.

 

 

But Wonwoo was sitting at a stool near the bar, drinking his wine as he observes them.

 

 

 

He felt a tear drop. He tried. He tried so hard to keep it all inside, but he couldn’t take it anymore.

 

His tears continue to fall. Mingyu suddenly appears beside him. Wonwoo looks up at him.

 

 

 

“I look pitiful, don’t I?” He asks. Mingyu looks at him with sad eyes but places a hand on the older’s shoulder.

“Eh! I’ve seen worse.” The younger replies, trying to laugh it off.

 

 

 

“I should have said No… I should have told her what I felt about her. Twenty years…. I’ve known her for twenty years and been in love with her for fifteen years. Yet not once…. Not once I was able to tell her that I love her. And now it’s too late. She’s with him now and I wanted to ruin it. But... She was so happy… so very happy. I couldn’t dare. I didn’t want to lose that smile.” Wonwoo mentions sadly.

 

“It’ll be fine. You will get over her… eventually.” Mingyu replies back, not knowing what else to say to his already depressed friend.

 

Wonwoo finishes his glass of wine and chuckles. “I wish I could. I wish it was that easy.” His tears slowly started falling. “I really wish I could.”

 

 

He sobs quietly, Mingyu patting his back, reassuring the older.

 

 

 

 

 

 

Wonwoo wallows in sorrow and regret after the wedding; Drinking to his heart’s content, if it ever reaches.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

At the age of 26, he saw his best friend, his first love… get married.

 

 

 

 

---

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

You didn’t think this was the end, did you?

 

 

 

---

 

I decided for a font change. It seems to fit the story line more.

 

 

So what do guys think? Cliffhanger? Well... Expect the unexpected I say.

 

Source of inspiration: My imagination, Seventeen, a bunch of dramas and lots & lots of songs. Listening to Taeyang's Wedding Dress, Justin Bieber's That Should Be Me and Taeyeon's If,  helps you get into it. 

 

-Kaye :3