"Dara," he called. That almost got me a heart attack. I turned my head to him trying to keep calm as possible, “Why are we awkward?” he rested his chin on his palm and looked at me, “I don’t want us awkward.”

It seems like I had lost the ability to talk as I cannot shoot back any retort, instead, I searched his eyes, asking him silently what exactly is he doing? Why everything feels like an unexplainable torture?

“I’m glad you decided to come… But I didn’t expect that you’ll have your boyfriend with you. You can’t stand being with alone anymore, is that it?”

“We were in the middle of our date when you texted me,” I said straight-faced, “What is it that you want, Jiyong? I really don’t understand anymore.”

He was silent for a while but beats it after flashing a sad smile, his stares boring a hole to my being, “You still got that captivating eyes of yours. You still have that heart-wrenching smile. So many times have already passed but you just did not change at all, just like the feelings that I have kept for so many years.”

“Jiyong…” I tried but that came out more like a whisper, “Please don’t.”

He reached for my hand and placed it in his cheek, as he does he shows a contended smile. I felt something squeezing my heart hard.

“Can’t you be mine?” He closes his eyes as if savoring the mere warmth that my hand is giving him. His expression saying that I am everything he ever needs, his big but soft hand holding mine—I am having more and more reasons to also want him to be always with me.

But again, this is wrong.

I pulled my hand, “I’m begging you, Jiyong. Please don’t do this to me. You’re drunk and you are probably not conscious of what you are saying. That kiss from yesterday and now this, how much more are you going to play with my feelings?”

“My feelings for you is not that shallow to be affected by a mere influence of alcohol. Am I making you confused? Because that’s what I want honestly. Am I really giving you a hard time? I do not want that but if that is what it takes for you to think of me more then so be it. Am I being selfish? Am I being a jerk? Yes, I definitely am but all because I couldn’t handle the pain anymore of seeing you in another man’s arms. In me is where you belong.”

“How come you sound so sure?”

He held my chin and leaned to me close, “I just know,” the smell of alcohol from him is so manly and perfect. I felt my eyes shut on their own accord as he leans more closely.

Why are you doing this to me, Jiyong?

His lips were about to land on mine but I pushed him, regretting when I did so.

He held my hand against his chest, “Just one kiss, Dara. Please, just one kiss.”

Jiyong took my silent response as my answer. He leaned again closer but this time I did not push him back and just let his warm, soft, and sweet lips touch mine. I do not want this to stop.

Jiyong gave our lips a gap, his thumb brushing to where his lips where and gave my closed eyes a kiss, “I love you, Dara.”

It was probably the intoxication from the kiss that gave me the courage but there was no doubt that it was something that I really want to say.

“I love you too, Jiyong…”

And again, we kissed.

The next day Donghae was giving me a cold treatment when he was absolutely fine last night. Yes, he did come by my house today like usual but he is acting differently.

“G-good morning, Donghae.” I said greeting him awkwardly.

“Mm,” he responded while not looking at me and just proceeded to the couch.

I sat as well but minding the space between us. He the television.

“A-are you hungry?”

“No,” he answered.

“I’ll cook. There’s something I saw online and I think it’ll be good as our breakfast.”

“You don’t have to.”

I gave up and sighed. What is wrong with him? He is not the type to act silent and cold.