“Hyungwon, you did great. Stop being so hard on yourself." Hoseok ran his hand reassuringly over the younger dancer's back. The dance club had just wrapped up their stages and the performers were loitering in the studios.

 

"I did better during practice," Hyungwon said, rubbing his cheeks with his hands.

 

"I think you did a great job." They sat quietly for a while. "Hey, how about we go get ice cream to celebrate." Hyungwon agreed.

 

Hoseok wanted to bring Hyungwon to dinner instead, call it a date. But they weren't dating. Earlier in the week, when Hoseok had slept at Hyungwon's apartment, he was so sure the model was into him. One more sign and he would have asked him to be his boyfriend right then and there. Hyungwon had to mess it up, though, and say, "Hoseok, I like you a lot, but I'm not ready for a relationship."

 

Hoseok's dreams were shattered that moment. (Well, maybe not all of his dreams, but the dreams that involved Hyungwon.) He had been so close to love again, but it got snatched away before it could even ruin him. I guess it's for the best, he thought. The two continued to be friends—just very close friends. But they weren't technically dating.

 

Technically.

 

Hoseok tells himself this as they're walking down the street and Hyungwon's long fingers are wrapper around his bicep. They are friends—just very close friends who hold onto each other while walking down the sidewalk. Nothing more, nothing less. Hoseok could deal with that for a while, but he still hoped that someday Hyungwon would be ready for a relationship.

 

At the ice cream parlor, Hyungwon chose the first booth near the door. It was surrounded by windows on two sides. "I like to watch people," he explained.

 

The waitress came quickly. "H–hello," she said, voice wavering as she continued, "what can I get you today?"

 

Hoseok looked down at the menu after making sure to flash his signature smile. "I'll have two scoops of cookies and cream."

 

The girl wrote the order on her notepad. "Whipped cream?"

 

Hoseok winked at her. "If it's not too much to ask, sweetie."

 

She scribbled a bit more. "A–and for you?"

 

"One scoop of vanilla ice cream."

 

"Come on," Hoseok whined. "Get something cool."

 

"Vanilla ice cream is cool," Hyungwon protested. "No cone, please."

 

The girl nodded, but before she could leave, Hoseok pulled her back. "Honey, make it a cone for him, if it's not too hard." She nodded obediently and scurried off to behind the counter.

 

"I think she recognized you," Hoseok whispered after she had gone.

 

Hyungwon hummed in reply. "She was cute. Too bad I'm not into girls. But you seemed pretty flirty. What's that all about?" he asked tauntingly.

 

Hoseok shrugged. "I flirt with whoever I want, regardless of what's in their pants."

 

"Quite the player, are we?"

 

"No—well, yes and no." Hoseok brushed the hair out of his eyes. "I have been around, but my uality has nothing to do with it."

 

Hyungwon bobbed his head in understanding.

 

The waitress came back a moment later. "Here you go. You can pay at the front whenever you're done." She paused at that table for a moment. "You're Chae Hyungwon, right?"

 

Hoseok gave Hyungwon a mischievous look from across the table. "Yes, I am."

 

She looked at the floor shyly. "You are so handsome in person."

 

"Am I not handsome in pictures?"

 

"Y–you're always handsome!" she insisted. "It's just...seeing you in person..."

 

Hyungwon chuckled. "Thank you, s–sweetie." He said the last word as though it was an afterthought. The girl bowed quickly and ran back to the cash register to brag to the other waitresses.

 

"Was I fine?" Hyungwon asked.

 

"S–sweetie," Hoseok mocked. "Just kidding. You did fine. Only thing I wanna know is why can girly over there look at your magazine pictures but I can't?"

 

“Really wanna see it?” Hyungwon leaned forward in his seat and looked Hoseok in the eye, a playful look on his face. He the ice cream slowly, then proceeded to swirl his tongue around the treat in a way Hoseok didn’t know was possible. He could feel his face heating up as Hyungwon ice cream off his lips. “Happy now?"

 

Hoseok smirked. "Yeah."

 

"You're such a creep," Hyungwon said, giving him a disgusted look.

 

"Says the one who just gave a to a vanilla ice cream."

 

Hyungwon frowned. “You wanted to know what the pictures looked like, so I gave you a live show.”

 

“I didn’t ask for a live show. I just wanted to see the pictures,” Hoseok explained. “But feel free to do it again.”

 

Hyungwon mumbled something under his breath and went back to eating his ice cream, this time in a much more chaste fashion.

 

They were so concentrated on eating their ice cream that neither of them said a word for a good five minutes. Hyungwon, who was the first one done, broke the silence. “You have some right there.” He motioned to a spot near his mouth on his own face. Hoseok looked up to see where he was pointing, then stuck the tip of his tongue out to clean up. “Still there,” Hyungwon said. Hoseok tried again, but failed. “Here.” Hyungwon leaned over the table and wiped the corner of Hoseok’s lips. He stuck his finger in his own mouth. “Pretty good.”

 

Hoseok’s eyes widened. “Look who’s Mr. Outgoing today.” He could feel his heart beating faster.

 

Hyungwon shrugged and pulled out his phone. “After you finish that, you wanna go to my place?”

 

“Sounds good. You have any more ramen?”

 

“Are you still going to be hungry after eating that?”

 

Hoseok nodded. “I'm always hungry.” Hyungwon rolled his eyes at that.

 

When they arrived at Hyungwon’s apartment, they had to use the alleyway entrance because they spent too much time at the ice cream parlor. Hoseok decided that he was okay with Hyungwon using that door as long as he wasn’t alone (which meant that Hoseok would have to be with him, which also meant that he would get to spend the night). Hoseok liked staying the night because they would cuddle on Hyungwon’s bed while watching movies on his laptop.

 

That particular night, their cuddling went a bit too far. Sometime into the movie, Hyungwon found his way onto Hoseok and ended up straddling his hips. Hoseok didn't quite mind the fact that the movie was interrupted, nor was he bothered by Hyungwon’s soft lips on his jaw. It was something completely different. “Stop,” he said, pushing Hyungwon off of him.

 

"What is it?" Hyungwon asked, disappointed.

 

"I can't deal with this anymore," he said, crawling to the opposite edge of the bed. "I can't deal with you acting like you want me, but you always come back and say that you don't wanna be with me. If we're going to do this, we're going to be serious about it."

 

Hyungwon was silent for a moment, then covered his face with his hand. “I'm scared.”

 

“What?”

 

“I'm scared,” he repeated with more confidence. “I don't want to mess up.”

 

Hoseok spread his hands over the bed sheets below him. “Tell me what happened.” He didn't know if Hyungwon would take offense to the command or even get mad at him. He didn't expect him to answer, so he was surprised when the younger started talking.

 

“He was another model from a different agency. We knew each other through this jacket brand that we both shot for. In the dressing room, when the stylists all left, he said he thought I was handsome...and a lot of other things. I brought him here after the shoot and—and that's when it started.

 

“We weren't even dating at first. Just sort of friends with benefits, I guess. He payed 75% of my rent in exchange for food and companionship.” He chuckled. “We were like that for months, then he finally decided he wanted to call me his boyfriend.

 

“For some reason, after he made our relationship something official, he was really...possessive. I couldn't go anywhere without him knowing first, he checked my phone every day, and he got mad if I came home later than he expected. And for every little mistake, h–he made sure to punish me. It was hell, and my manager was getting mad at me on top of it, asking why I was bruised here, scarred there, red somewhere else. I almost lost my job." Hyungwon was visibly uncomfortable by now, and Hoseok wanted to tell him it was okay to stop. "He was out to ruin my life, and I couldn't do anything about it. Finally, I came home one day to him yelling about how I couldn’t fulfill his needs and how he had already hooked up with some girl at his agency.”

 

Hyungwon took a deep breath. “I feel weird about dating seriously. It was all fine when we were just kinda friends, but once he made it official—I don’t want to ruin us.”

 

“I understand how you feel.” Hoseok reached out to hold Hyungwon’s hand, but the younger pulled it away. “I’ll respect that. But just so you know, I will never hurt you like he did.”

 

“Thank you,” Hyungwon said, his voice small and his head low.

 

“Want a hug?” Hoseok asked, arms open.

 

Hyungwon shook his head, and Hoseok’s smile instantly fell. “Later. I’m getting tired. Is it okay if I go to sleep?”

 

Hoseok nodded. “You don’t need to ask.”

 

“Thank you, Hoseok. I’m sorry.”

 

“No need to say sorry,” Hoseok answered, though he wasn't sure the younger could hear him over the rustling of the bed sheets. A second later, the light was out.

 

Hoseok woke up in the middle of the night to find the spot next to him empty. He sat up to find Hyungwon crouching in the far corner of the apartment, the light of his laptop illuminating his face. “Hyungwon?”

 

The younger gasped and turned around. “God, you scared me. Why are you up?”

 

“I was going to ask you the same thing.”

 

Hyungwon glanced back at the laptop on the floor. “It was my manager. He kept calling me and sent me a text to check my email. The buzzing woke me up.” He sighed. “He always calls at the worst times.”

 

“Ah,” Hoseok said, rubbing his eyes. “Are you coming back to sleep?”

 

Hyungwon nodded. “If it were a shoot at this hour, I would quit my job. I can barely open my eyes enough to see the screen.”

 

Hoseok laughed and patted the spot on the bed. “Come sleep.”

 

Hyungwon closed his laptop and shuffled back to bed with his eyes closed. “Hoseok,” he started drowsily, “I’m sorry for being harsh earlier.”

 

“You didn't do anything wrong,” he assured.

 

“I didn't wanna a hug then because I was scared of being close to you, but I–I wanna hug now. Are you up for it?”

 

Hoseok wrapped his arms around Hyungwon and the latter seemed to melt in his grasp. “Of course. Now, get some rest, sleepy head.”

 

Hyungwon nodded weakly and his breathing evened out. Hoseok couldn't help but smile. If only he was mine…

 

When the sun rose the next morning, Hyungwon was still nuzzled against Hoseok’s chest. The older liked the warm feeling bubbling inside of him, but he also hated it. He hated it because there was nothing he could do about it. Maybe getting so close to Hyungwon had been a bad idea.

 

“Rise and shine,” he whispered, not expecting Hyungwon’s eyes to flutter open like they did. Their noses were only a few inches from touching, and the younger scrambled backwards to put distance between them. “Sorry, I—”

 

“It's okay,” Hyungwon said drowsily. “Just startled me.” Running his fingers through his hair, he asked, “Do you have any classes today?”

 

Hoseok shook his head. “Nope, don't have to go to that prison for a little while.”

 

“Good,” Hyungwon chuckled. He got out of bed and shuffled to his clothing rack. (It would be a lie to say Hoseok didn't check out the younger’s .) “We’re gonna go see a movie.”

 

“This early?” Hoseok asked.

 

“No. They aren't even open until two. We're going to the matinee because it's cheaper and neither of us have money.”

 

Hoseok sat up, pulling the sheets around himself to cover his bare chest. “Why don't we just watch something on your laptop?”

 

Hyungwon shrugged. “I wanted to go to the mall with you, too. I figured a movie would be the best way to get you to come.”

 

“Are we gonna...shop?”

 

“Yeah. You have a problem with that?”

 

Hoseok shook his head. “No! Not at all. It's just that… I'm wondering what you're really gonna get, since you say you have no money.”

 

“Sometimes, you find an outfit that you're willing to spend grocery money on.” He pulled a shirt and bomber jacket off the handler and threw it on the bed. “Put this on. I don't want you wearing your sweaty clothes from yesterday.” He rummaged through his pants until he found a pair of light blue jeans. “They're loose on me, so they should fit you.”

 

“Thanks,” Hoseok said, throwing the covers off his body. He could sense Hyungwon’s eyes on him.

 

“Ca–can't you wear a little more clothes when we share the bed?”

 

“What, like my sweaty clothes from yesterday?”

 

Hyungwon sighed. “Like a shirt. Maybe boxers or something instead of girl underwear.”

 

Hoseok looked down at his gray briefs. “I'll have you know, these are most definitely for men.”

 

“Okay, well I'm the twinky gay model here, and my underwear is more modest than that.” (It was true, since he was wearing plaid boxers and a ratty old T-shirt.)

 

“If you feel left out, we can find you some like these at the mall.”

 

Hyungwon’s face turned a deep red and he shook his head. “I'm good,” he said shakily, earning a laugh from the other. “Put your clothes on so we can have breakfast.” He reached into his small fridge. “Today it's just fruit salad.”

 

An hour later, they had finished breakfast and were walking around the mall. Hyungwon insisted that Hoseok try four different pairs of skinny jeans, all of which were far too tight. “That one looks good,” Hyungwon said when Hoseok stepped out of the dressing room.

 

“I can't feel my—”

 

“Who cares?” Hyungwon interjected. “Being a model has taught me that it doesn't matter how your clothes feels; what's important is how you look in it.”

 

Hoseok squirmed around. “Well, being a fully functioning human being, it matters to me how my clothes feels.”

 

Rolling his eyes, Hyungwon looked back at his phone to signal that he was done arguing. Hoseok retreated back into the dressing room to change out of the torturously skinny jeans. “Ah that's better.”

 

When they left the store, Hyungwon complained about all of Hoseok’s whining and groaning, saying that people were giving them dirty looks. Hoseok replied that he would not have whined so much if he hadn't been forced to try on all of those pants.

 

“If you aren't gonna get something, I am.” Hyungwon dragged Hoseok into another store. The place was poorly lit and the employees all had piercings and dark makeup.

 

“I wouldn't expect you to like this place.”

 

The younger shrugged, rummaging through the clearance rack. “I like wearing black. Less flashy that way.” He pulled out a black turtle neck and checked the price tag. “I'm getting this.” The sweater was rolled into a ball and handed to Hoseok.

 

“I bet you only wanted me to come with you so you could use me as a clothes rack,” Hoseok accused.

 

Hyungwon gasped in mock surprise. “How did you know?” He draped another shirt over Hoseok’s arm. “If you're just gonna stand behind me like that, I'm gonna take advantage of it.”

 

“I have nothing else to do.”

 

“Try this on,” he said, pulling out a leather jacket. “Twenty bucks for a jacket that's normally eighty.”

 

Hoseok gestured to a small scratch. “It's ruined right here.”

 

“It's easily fixable. Now, try it on.” He took the clothes from Hoseok’s arms and handed over the jacket.

 

“It's not my style,” Hoseok said, tugging the sleeves of the jacket.

 

Hyungwon played around with the collar and looked at the outfit from every angle. “I like it on you. Can you at least wear it when we’re together? I'll buy it.”

 

Hoseok felt his face heating up as Hyungwon stared him down. “I...sure.”

With that, they headed off to go watch the movie. Of course, Hyungwon made Hoseok put on the leather jacket.